Want To Marry With Cousin | Sikh Philosophy Network
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Want To Marry With Cousin

Oct 9, 2012
19
9
I want to marry with my mother's real brother's daughter?
We are in love since our childhood, we want to marry with each other, is it legal? What will we do? coz our family members wont accept our relation!
 
Jan 7, 2005
3,450
3,760
Metro-Vancouver, B.C., Canada
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

First: Your both families are against this proposed marriage.

Second: The Sikh Reht Maryada is "silent" on such a marriage liaison. Now, as a Sikh you can get married & register your marriage under the Sikh "Anand Karaj", but you still may be in violation of the Hindu Marriage Act of India. You should further consult an expert Matrimonial Lawyer for further clarifications.

A case in question:

I am a Sikh girl and I want to marry a Sikh boy who is my second cousin from my father's side. He is my father's first cousin brother's son. I really need guidance about how to go about this issue as I am told that the Hindu marriage law prohibits the marriage of cousins. Please help.

Firstly one has to fulfill certain statutory conditions required for getting married legally as per Hindu marriage Act 1955, Section 5 of the Hindu Marriage Act 1955 which clarifies about the valid conditions for getting married as per Hindu Marriage Act 1955 as per Indian law, wherein one of the condition which reads as "the parties should not be within the degrees of prohibited relationship, unless the custom or usage governing each of them permits the marriage between the two". Now as per your query your proposed arrangement will have to be tested in compliance of the statutory law by knowing the actual family arrangements for any prohibitions if any. You may further consult an expert Matrimonial Lawyer for further clarifications.

Hope this should suffice your query in brief.

My personal advice: Avoid this marriage lest both families honour ( under existing acceptable civil customs and traditions ) & your & yours' personal safety is compromised!
 

Luckysingh

Writer
SPNer
Dec 4, 2011
1,633
2,748
Vancouver
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

It would be legal. Your offspring could have genetic defects. There is lot of research on it and a few examples in my family. Best way out is to convince your folks through dialogue.
I'm not too sure about the legality with concerns to the marriage act as mentioned above, but in many parts of the world it is illegal.
First cousin marriage is not allowed in nearly half of the states in US even now, I beleive. There have been cases where Pakistani muslim communities have encountered problems when trying to marry first cousins in these states.

In many parts of the world including India, the people from the same clan in a pind are not accepted, and if there is any blood line after 1st cousins.

Personally, my question would be ' How did you end up encountering this problem ?'- It's more of a disgusting embarassment!

I mean, how would you end up in a relationship with your mama's child ?
-I'm sorry, but it's too unthoughtful and unpleasant to even get my head around this behaviour.
 

Kanwaljit.Singh

Writer
SPNer
Jan 29, 2011
1,492
2,157
Vancouver, Canada
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

I'm not too sure about the legality with concerns to the marriage act as mentioned above
His location was India so I guess it won't be problem. I have seen some Sikh families have such marriages.

The social stigma is there. And you will have something on your hands your parents and family will never really approve of. Till the very end, you will be waiting for acceptance in your own family.

And the risk of genetic defects in children is there.

You are 24, mature and probably earning. But when your whole family is against something, it is not foolish to give it a second thought!
 

Kanwaljit.Singh

Writer
SPNer
Jan 29, 2011
1,492
2,157
Vancouver, Canada
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

Have you actually tried living without her? I bet in 2 months you can forget her. Just give it a try. No calls, no meeting, no text/emails.
 

Luckysingh

Writer
SPNer
Dec 4, 2011
1,633
2,748
Vancouver
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

sir but we love each other alot & we cant live without each other, so it is better for me to leave this world? Please help me please!

So, you are going to use the suicide route as emotional blackmail ?
Hey, it may work!!!

Listen though, you know you can actually 'live as if you were dead whilst being alive ??'
A little like being dead to all these emotions and attachments that are present in our lives.

To experience this, you would need to start living in a more gurmat and gursikh manner.
With the grace of Waheguru, it should come in time.
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 4, 2005
4,502
2,739
39
INDIA
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

I want to marry with my mother's real brother's daughter?
We are in love since our childhood, we want to marry with each other, is it legal? What will we do? coz our family members wont accept our relation!
The answer depend on which caste do you belong? If these type of marriages happened in your caste then may be it is not a problem for you
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 4, 2005
4,502
2,739
39
INDIA
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

This woud have to be a big NO.
No family or myself can come to terms in letting this happen!
In many families including mine from both sides it was very common practice in my Father or mother generation though not many cousin marriages happen in my generation
 

canadian

SPNer
Jan 19, 2011
6
5
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

Wow I wasn't even aware this happened in Sikhi, even in the past.. I've personally never heard anything like it. Would you approve your child and your sister's child marrying one another??
 

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,762
8,156
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Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

I want to marry with my mother's real brother's daughter?
We are in love since our childhood, we want to marry with each other, is it legal? What will we do? coz our family members wont accept our relation!
I have experience of this problem, A few years ago, before I embraced clean living, I was very infatuated with next doors dog. She was a beauty, a golden labrador, and she felt the same way about me. Like you, no one accepted our situation, and like you, I felt I could not live without her, so we ran away and found a kindly minister who married us.

I have to say it was a complete mistake, we were competely incompatible, once the novelty had worn off, once those heady heavy feelings had settled down to normal, we both realised it was the excitment, the fact it was forbiden love that actually gave our relationship its value, and after all the fuss had died down, we really had nothing in common, well, she was a dog.

I married again, as did Bessie, and we are both completely happy with our new partners, but neither of us ever forgot the huge amount of stress, tears and upset we caused our respective families.

hope that helps
 

a.mother

SPNer
Jun 13, 2010
127
286
Canada
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

sir but we love each other alot & we cant live without each other, so it is better for me to leave this world? Please help me please!
My brother what I think every love does not mean marriage. If there is love you can find millions reason to live. To leave this world is very easy to live is harder, but it depend on you if you want to live like brave or hide your face like coward.
 

Admin

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Jun 1, 2004
6,600
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SPN
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

Disclaimer: This is to reiterate that SPN is not a professional counseling forum in any way and views presented here by the members DO NOT amount to any kind of counseling advice. All the views/reactions by the members are their personal perceptions and SPN does not endorse their views under any circumstances. Kindly be advised accordingly. :noticemunda:

Gurfateh!
 
Last edited:
Apr 12, 2007
351
262
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

I have experience of this problem, A few years ago, before I embraced clean living, I was very infatuated with next doors dog. She was a beauty, a golden labrador, and she felt the same way about me. Like you, no one accepted our situation, and like you, I felt I could not live without her, so we ran away and found a kindly minister who married us.

I have to say it was a complete mistake, we were competely incompatible, once the novelty had worn off, once those heady heavy feelings had settled down to normal, we both realised it was the excitment, the fact it was forbiden love that actually gave our relationship its value, and after all the fuss had died down, we really had nothing in common, well, she was a dog.

I married again, as did Bessie, and we are both completely happy with our new partners, but neither of us ever forgot the huge amount of stress, tears and upset we caused our respective families.

hope that helps

Harry ji, brother your too funny! I see you live in the uk would defo like to linkup for a laugh bruv! These weirdo's marrying their own sisters in a sense, I would not condone it, then that is not for me to judge them! Your too Funny dude! lol lol lol
 
Oct 9, 2012
19
9
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

Have you actually tried living without her? I bet in 2 months you can forget her. Just give it a try. No calls, no meeting, no text/emails.
Kawaljit g i realy thanks 4 ur help but our love is not ordinary.....!
I told u that we love each other since our childhood, every place every season remind me about her! I cant forget her, i have tried this , we are not in contact with each other more than 2 months but now its very difficult to live without each other, she also loves me alot! We can die for each other but cant live!
 

a.mother

SPNer
Jun 13, 2010
127
286
Canada
Re: Want to Marry with Cousin

Harpreet ji,
I am agree with you that hard to live live without loved-one BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE. Its very easy to die but hard to live, also brave people love to live with hurdles only coward run away from hard times. It all depend on you how strong you are or weak. Usually people think that men are stronger then women. If death can put anyone together then until now millions should together in another world.
 

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