how does one love in an unattached way? does that not destroy the intensity of love? Would you only love God in an attached way?I agree. I plan on keeping a sense of humor, empathy, the ability to love (in an unattached way) etc.
Me and God have a good relationship, I know why I am here, its one of his big jokes, and he laughs with me constantly, mostly about all the bad stuff, which he finds hilarious, 'Harry, your the best sitcom I ever created ever, the amount of amusement I have had watching you do all those terrible things and then dig yourself out, is just off the scale' there is no kicking and screaming, I go down the path, god follows me, laughing hysterically and pointing, he never drags me anywhere, I am just here for comic relief, that is my diktat in life. I could never settle down, it would kill me, and then God would have no one to amuse him,. which is probably why every relationship I ever have had, has me say and do just the right combination to send them running, very fast. They run, he laughs!i think that you're closer to God than you think, even though you're a weirdo that it seems is being dragged down the path kicking and screaming. What the hell do THEY know, anyway?
Numbness, shmumbness, you call it transcendence, I call it numbness, either way, you are shutting yourself off from feeling something, it is true, the only way I could wallowing in all the people shit was to get rid of them, and it worked, no people, no shit, thats a choice rather than numbness, as events of the last 3 months clearly showed, bring people in, and I change, I lose myself,I don't think numbness is the goal, more like transcendence. It sounds like you have transcended a lot of the shit most people are happy to wallow in. You are free! Unattached! To hell with everyone's opinions about you. Find a way to use your talents in a way that makes the world a tiny bit better for even one person and off you go. You have time.
I have spent 20 years doing the make the world a better place thing, my experience is it is all completely pointless, all you do is take peoples ability to better themselves by taking on their trials and problems, and stealing the learning ability they could have had, its a fine line between making the world a better place, and interfering with the flow of the world, who is to say that what you perceive as a good action, is a bad action, I am not willing to take that responsibility any more, no, for now, I will just live, there is no grand plan, there is no redemption, there is no fate, or intervention, just today, lets see what lady luck brings.......