Sex, Girlfriend, Am I Allowed?

[Archived_Member_19]

<<i am sure 99% sex outside marriage happen's because of kaam and not because of love.>>

can you please tell me the difference betwen Kaam and Love ?

 

[ssingh]

I guess I would try answering that as my son in a couple of years might be asking that question. I have given him one answer that answered lot of questions and that was that I was not his true father, the true father is the creator I am just a physical means (which is nothing), so if you call yourself a Sikh than the creator is your true Father and the Guru after Him your mentor. The Guru does not ask you to be a hermit and he leads to the path of true love, so as one of the other replies to your question was very adequate, the sikh path is that of selflessness and truthfulness where you are not slave of your desires. In a Sikhs' life there is only one Anand Karaj and that is to Him, if you do that all will be sweet and pleasant with no fears, and you will not seek any directions from anybody except Him. The Guru in his last Jama has promised you all and believe me he did not lie, it is as he said are you really His. In loving Him you love every person even your beloved and the visa versa can be true too- though I cannot confirm the last half of the statement, hope it is true.

 

[ssingh]

My friend simplest thing I can give you is that when you look at a beautiful flower the first instinct most people get is to pluck it and hold it to themselves, and the others just watch it enjoy its beauty and try to make it live longer and better. I guess that will tell you what is Kama and what is love.

 

[truthseeker]

ssingh,
that is a very good way of describing the difference between Love and lust.
Lust is something that is short-term...changing...non-permanent.
Love lasts forever...it is unconditional.

 

[Archived_Member_19]

what is unconditional sex?

if anything like that is

 

[truthseeker]

amar ji,
Im not exactly sure what you mean bu unconditional sex? Do you just mean being committed to that one person... staying monogomous (having sex with only one person)

 

[Astroboy]

Albert Einstein:

How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?​

Antoine de Saint-Exupery:

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.
​

 

[Archived_Member_19]

truthseeker ji

you said love is unconditional

so if two people love, then their mating is also unconditional..is it?

i find it funny how people go so far to negate the primal desires

namjap ji

i wuld like to further add to what einstein added - how can something like philosophy explain the biological phenomenon called "first sight love"

 

[Archived_member2]

Pray Truth for all and say Satsriakaal!
Dear all!

Guru Arjan Dev Jee is singing.
Andu krhu imil suMdr nwrI ]
Andu krhu imil suNdr nwrI ]
"anadu karahu mili sundar naaree." SGGS Ang 806-13
Do Anad meeting a beautiful dame.


Balbir Singh

 

[spnadmin]

Pray Truth for all and say Satsriakaal!
Dear all!

Guru Arjan Dev Jee is singing.
Andu krhu imil suMdr nwrI ]
Andu krhu imil suNdr nwrI ]
"anadu karahu mili sundar naaree." SGGS Ang 806-13
Do Anad meeting a beautiful dame.


Balbir Singh

Balbir ji

What are you saying here? Or are you just making a philosophical comment about the human condition. Maybe you are just being funny in general. Your comment could look to some like an insult to SGGS -- I don't think you mean it to be understood as a joke. Right?

Another translation

Andu krhu imil suMdr nwrI ]
anadh karahu mil su(n)dhar naaree ||
Joining together, O beautiful soul-brides, celebrate and make merry.​

 

[drkhalsa]

Pray Truth for all and say Satsriakaal!
Dear all!

Guru Arjan Dev Jee is singing.
Andu krhu imil suMdr nwrI ]
Andu krhu imil suNdr nwrI ]
"anadu karahu mili sundar naaree." SGGS Ang 806-13
Do Anad meeting a beautiful dame.


Balbir Singh

Dear Balbir Singh ji

Satsriakal!

thanks for your post

what is the meaning of Anad in this Vaak

Actually I could not understand it . It would be nice and helpful if you explain it further

Thanks


Jatinder Singh

 

[Archived_Member1]

Pray Truth for all and say Satsriakaal!
Dear all!

Guru Arjan Dev Jee is singing.
Andu krhu imil suMdr nwrI ]
Andu krhu imil suNdr nwrI ]
"anadu karahu mili sundar naaree." SGGS Ang 806-13
Do Anad meeting a beautiful dame.


Balbir Singh

interesting. i have searched five different translations of SGGS and i cannot find this translation anywhere. where did you get it? is it your personal interpretation?

perhaps the full shabad will shed light on it...

ਬਿਲਾਵਲੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
bilaaval mehalaa 5 ||
Bilaaval, Fifth Mehl:
11 ਸਾਂਤਿ ਪਾਈ ਗੁਰਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਿ ਪੂਰੇ ॥
saanth paaee gur sathigur poorae ||
The Guru, the Perfect True Guru, has blessed me with peace and tranquility.
12 Bilaaval Guru Arjan Dev ਸੁਖ ਉਪਜੇ ਬਾਜੇ ਅਨਹਦ ਤੂਰੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
sukh oupajae baajae anehadh thoorae ||1|| rehaao ||
Peace and joy have welled up, and the mystical trumpets of the unstruck sound current vibrate. ||1||Pause||
12 Bilaaval Guru Arjan Dev ਤਾਪ ਪਾਪ ਸੰਤਾਪ ਬਿਨਾਸੇ ॥
thaap paap santhaap binaasae ||
Sufferings, sins and afflictions have been dispelled.
12 Bilaaval Guru Arjan Dev ਹਰਿ ਸਿਮਰਤ ਕਿਲਵਿਖ ਸਭਿ ਨਾਸੇ ॥੧॥
har simarath kilavikh sabh naasae ||1||
Remembering the Lord in meditation, all sinful mistakes have been erased. ||1||
13 Bilaaval Guru Arjan Dev ਅਨਦੁ ਕਰਹੁ ਮਿਲਿ ਸੁੰਦਰ ਨਾਰੀ ॥
anadh karahu mil sundhar naaree ||
Joining together, O beautiful soul-brides, celebrate and make merry.
13 Bilaaval Guru Arjan Dev ਗੁਰਿ ਨਾਨਕਿ ਮੇਰੀ ਪੈਜ ਸਵਾਰੀ ॥੨॥੩॥੨੧॥
gur naanak maeree paij savaaree ||2||3||21||
Guru Nanak has saved my honor. ||2||3||21||

 

[kds1980]

truthseeker ji

you said love is unconditional

so if two people love, then their mating is also unconditional..is it?

i find it funny how people go so far to negate the primal desires

namjap ji

i wuld like to further add to what einstein added - how can something like philosophy explain the biological phenomenon called "first sight love"

I also find it funny when most of countries ban prostituition.On one hand modern people say that sex is natural desire on other purchase and sale is not allowed.is it not double standard

 

[drkhalsa]

I also find it funny when most of countries ban prostituition.On one hand modern people say that sex is natural desire on other purchase and sale is not allowed.is it not double standard

Dear Friend ,

what countries ban prostitution .
I am not aware of this . as for India , UK and Usa I think this is legal

 

[kds1980]

Dear Friend ,

what countries ban prostitution .
I am not aware of this . as for India , UK and Usa I think this is legal

Jatinder singh ji

sat sri akal

Here is the legal status of some countries

Prostitution - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In these countries, police offer differ in their control of prostitution. In England and Wales for example, local police forces have historically flipped between zero tolerance of prostitution and unofficial red light districts.

Rules vary as to which roles in prostitution are illegal: being a prostitute, being a client, or being a pimp. In Sweden it is legal to sell sex but not to buy sex. Pimping is also illegal. Prostitutes are generally viewed by the government as oppressed, while their clients are viewed as oppressors.[citation needed] Norway has the same laws as Sweden, except that it's not illegal to buy sex. This situation is liable to change within a year or so, however, as the delegates at the 2007 annual meeting of the Labour Party, Norway's largest, and part of the 2005–2009 coalition government, voted in favour of banning the purchase of sexual services.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Google Answers: Prostitution in the United States

Prostitution is currently legal in only one state, Nevada, but not in
the major cities (Las Vegas, Reno, Carson City and Lake Tahoe). Also,
local cities/counties can elect to have it criminalized. There is a
great webpage with all of the details of Nevada's legalized
prostitution here:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In india it is illegal

so even countries like sweden and norway who consider themself most advance and forward criminalised purchasing sex.

Is it not the double standard of modern world who says that sexual desire is normal but on the other hand stop people from purchasing sex.

 

[Archived_member2]

Pray Truth for all and say Satsriakaal!
Dear all and Aad0002 Jee!

Quote "Balbir ji . . . What are you saying here?"
Guru Arjan Dev Jee is singing here. Balbir Singh only requested all to listen attentively.

Quote "Maybe you are just being funny in general. Your comment could look to some like an insult to SGGS -- I don't think you mean it to be understood as a joke. Right?"
I do not think that Gurdev is funny and insulting SGGS Jee.
Thanks for providing another translation. Please read it again and ask yourself if they enforce it or it is a correct translation.

**************

Quote from Jatinder Jee "what is the meaning of Anad in this Vaak?"
Nadu means the sound current. Anadu means no sound current.

**************

Quote from Jasleen_Kaur Jee "interesting. i have searched five different translations of SGGS and i cannot find this translation anywhere. where did you get it? is it your personal interpretation?"
It is Dhur Kee Baanee. It is in continuity also never exhausting.


Through Balbir Singh

 

[spnadmin]

Balbir ji

You know very well that "anadu karahu mili sundar naaree." does not mean

Do Anad meeting a beautiful dame.

Your grade is A for creativity. F for Gurmukhi. "anadu" is mispelled. Try again!



Hint: anandhu is mentioned 287 times in SGGS, and means celebrate, remain in ecstasy, be blissfull, be in a state of ecstasy or bliss.

 

[Astroboy]

anad karahu mil sundar naaree.
Joining together, O beautiful soul-brides, celebrate and make merry.

For full shabad :saa^Nt paa-ee gur satgur pooray

 

[navjyot singh]

According to Sikhism and as stated by my brothers and sisters above..........
Having a girl friend is not good and unwise.
Moreover,A Sikh should marry a Sikh-
This is important because, later on when one has a child ,it becomes a matter of confusion ,for which religion should the child follow?.If both husband and wife persist on their respective religion it becomes a matter of bewilderment.

Having an extra-martial affair and even having sex with your love before marriage, according to many religions such as Islam, Christianity and even Sikhism is a taboo.
On this context-
Jesus Christ Says :
"In olden times it was said :You should not commit adultery: But I say to you ,that whosoever looks at a woman with lustful eyes has committed adultery already in his heart"

Zarathushtra says:
"Just as gold needs to be put in a crucible before it can be freed of its dross, so a man needs to be put in the larger crucible of the world's rough and seductive ways before he can consider himself to be free of earthly dross"

Prophet Mohammad said:
"He is not a believer who commits adultery , or who steals , or who drinks liquor, or who plunders or who embezzles-beware,beware"

Every religion commands to stay away from adultery.............
Further,Des mesh Pita Guru Gobind Singh Ji says:

" When I came of age
The Guru talked to me-
Son my, only advice is,
As long as you live
You may sleep with your own wife every day
But never go to the bed of another's wife even in dreams."

I would also suggest you to stress on becoming a complete Khalsa.Being a Sikh you should concentrate on a honest living. Having sex with your girl friend and later marrying another girl is betrayal to your spouse.
And having sex with your girl before you get engaged(Marry) is also falsehood and indicates signs of a lustful person.Learn to control your passion, your desire is to be blamed, a strong mind can face any sort of gale.
Read good books particularly about saints and great men.I am also of your age group I too communicate well with girls but always keep them at bay from sexual fantasies.I do not need a girl friend because my aim in life is to realize the truth by means of SGGS Ji. My family values stress on avoiding girl friends
and treat them like sisters. When your age of getting engaged comes and if you are really attractive and well-educated you will get a perfect match, the pairs are decided by Waheguru Ji we need to just follow his path.

Another prominent point is to control your mind and the flow of hormones - The solution
is to practice yoga and meditation ,early morning is the best time.I too practice this and it works, the need of time is a robust and calm mind.

I hope you find my suggestions useful.

 

[spnadmin]

Very good work NamJap and Jasleen jios

NamJap you have provided the alternate spelling from the Roman transliteration. AnDH and also Anµdu

Thorough and complete work, Jasleen ji.