Searching For An Answer

[poppy]

I need someone to help me understand something. I know that through naam, the Guru will forgive, even if you have commited endless sins or paaps or if you have hurt people and have made thier lives miserable. If you give up doing these things, reform yourself, mend your ways and through gurbani and naam you may be able to wash or clean your minds. There is hope. But what of the victim of this abuse. If you have been abused, you have been beaten, kicked,told you are no good, that you are nothing. How does one deal with the pain, the self esteem. Fareed's bani says 'chunga ma nahi, burra no koi' If someone hits you kiss thier feet. Do i accept i am no good, that i deserved the beating, that i should be humble. That much i am prepared to accept that maybe i have been punished and i too have to reform myself. But how do i deal with the pain and thoughts that whilst the other persons has found forgiveness (if he/she has i dont know) yet i am still suffering with the thoughts that i am not a good person.

Please explain Freed.

Thank you.

 

[ajmer123]

The aim is taht you can strat a good life at any time. The fareed slok has meaning respect everybody and do not consider others as inferior. Be down to earth which naturally come once you are truly knowledgeable.

I hope this will solve your dilema.

 

[vijaydeep Singh]

Gurfateh
If injusitce is done to you then after all resloves fail you can pick the sword ie can be going for {censored} for tat.

while you do not have to have any guilt concious at all.

All happens as Akal wants us to happen.By Akal's mercy you did unjust and Akal did reform you.Leave it on Akal.Behold will of God as sweet.

 

[poppy]

hello again

i was hoping for a religious answer and prehaps answer's from gurbani on how to obtain some peace of mind. To deal with worries and pain if either i have upset people and certainly deal with pain i am feeling. Please refer to shabads.

Thank you

 

[vijaydeep Singh]

Gurfateh

See Japu Ji sahib,in control of Akal evething is,outside control nothin.Nanak if understand control the no say of ego.

 

[simpy]

It seems like someone hit you hard.

You are in a lot of emotional pain. First important thing is that you DO NOT have to accept that you were wrong or not a good person. Nobody is good or bad. God has made you. He is in there, taking care of you. Believe this.

Secondly, thought of the past suffering cannot be removed during this lifetime, as it is stored in your memory. Now you need to develop a habit of not getting emotional when you remember something from that (let us call it) bad time of your life. Pain is all emotion. It is nothing else.

One Technique for you- When next time you remember bad time, tell yourself I am not going to get sad, start some activity that you know brings peace in your mind, read or write about that is not related to the subject you had the thought about, best of all talk to God in your mind or do Simran. If you can develop a habit of talking to God in your mind you can talk to Him even about that thought you had but be positive, and I tell you, you will get relief. As there is no friend or relative like God. You will be able to find solutions for your sadness.

It will not happen overnight. Give it sometime. As it takes time to build emotional baggage, it will take time to get rid of it. You need to be all positive and have an unshakable faith in God to decrease the time toll. The emotional baggage is not only of this lifetime, it has past karma as well.

See Bani does tell about humility and as we know from the History also, Guru Arjun Dev Ji did not let Mia Mir destroy Sirhind, but accepted whatever the tyrants were doing to him considering it as Waheguru’s hukam. There are lots of examples like this.

Now need is to understand that these qualities of humility and forgiveness develop with a lot of rigorous spiritual practice. It can take years and years or may be lifetimes to develop humility like Frid Ji or Guru Sahib has. It all depend on how much belief you can develop in your mind about what Bani says. The faith has to become completely unshakable.

 

[Archived_Member16]

Daily Shabad for you:

This Shabad is by Guru Arjan Dev Ji in Raag Bilaaval on Pannaa 819

iblwvlu mhlw 5 ]
qwqI vwau n lgeI pwrbRhm srxweI ]
cauigrd hmwrY rwm kwr duKu lgY n BweI ]1]
siqguru pUrw ByitAw ijin bxq bxweI ]
rwm nwmu AauKDu dIAw eykw ilv lweI ]1] rhwau ]
rwiK lIey iqin rKnhwir sB ibAwiD imtweI ]
khu nwnk ikrpw BeI pRB Bey shweI ]2]15]79]



In addition, please consider the following. You must EMPOWER yourself & built POSITIVE self-esteem:

Steps to Forgiveness

1.Confront your emotional pain - your shock, fear, anger, and grief. Recognize that the hurt that has occurred may have been very unfair and that these steps are not meant to minimize the hurt involved.​

2. Realize that forgiveness can only be appropriate after you have processed out your fear, anger, and grief. However, also realize that you can set forgiveness as a goal in the future for your sake now! Recognize that to continue to dwell on the anger and resentment involved in the hurt will literally destroy your physical health, and cause you great mental suffering.

New studies clearly show that anger and resentment doubled the risk of myocardial heart attacks in women with previous coronary problems. Other studies indicate cancer and other deadly illnesses are also caused by anger and resentment. So be willing, for your sake, to begin to process out these deadly emotions as soon as possible.

3. Understand that love is what you ultimately want for yourself from yourself.

4. Understand that forgiveness does not condone or approve or forget the harmful acts; forgiveness does not allow yourself to be abused. We forgive the doer, not the doing. Remembering this helps us to break harmful cycles of behavior.

5. Realize that you are theonly person responsible for your own feelings and for healing the hurt that is going on inside of you.

6. Remember that you are so powerful that usually you had some part in what happened. Be willing to totally face up to that part and accept itwithout blame(to forgive and love that part).

7. See this situation as an opportunity for healing and for growth. See that the other person involved has revealed to you through his or her actions where there was a wounded spot in you which needed healing.

8. Start releasing anger, sadness, grief, and fear through the many processes, therapies and therapists available. Have a person to work with who can truly empathize with you, yet who can be objective and help you shift your perception from blame to healing.

9.Decideto forgive. Even if this decision is half-hearted at first, it will probably lessen your hurt and anger immediately.

Notice that this decision can be difficult because after you have processes out the anger, resentment and grief, you will have to give up the grudge - the being the "victim", the "being right" and making the other person "wrong". Notice that this is "superior" position which can be used to get a lot of self-righteous attention. Be willing,for your saketo have the courage to get off that "superior" position.

10.Be willing to find a new way to think about the person who wronged you. What was his or her life like growing up? What was his or her life like at the time of the offense? What were this person's good points up to the time of the hurt? Notice you may not be able to see much good within until you have processed out your anger and/or grief or fear.

11. Be aware that being forgiving is a courageous act on your part. It has nothing to do with whether the other person can admit they are wrong. You are forgiving to liberate yourself no matter what the other person decides to do.

12. Be willing to do and learn whatever it takes to forgive. Commit to do processes, to read courageous stories of forgiveness, to write in journals, to see a therapist, to do training’s, or to do whatever it takes to heal the wounds involved. Remember these wounds may be deeply tied to past hurts going back to your interactions with your parents. Resolve to follow them through for your total healing, even if it involves years of effort to heal. Remember that you are determined to find the true happiness and joy that true forgiveness can bring to your life.

13. If you believe in a Higher Power, be willing to pray on this problem and to turn to this Higher Power for guidance and assistance in the forgiveness process.

14. Accept the lessons involved in this incident — our lives are laboratories for learning. What have you learned from this event that is invaluable to you? Has some form of attachment to a belief or beliefs a position has caused you the pain involved? What belief or beliefs were involved?

15. See that everything is okay; possibly perfect, as it is now.

16. If you have the willingness and it is appropriate, seek feedback from the other person by being willing to say "I'm sorry that I did..." (whatever it is that you feel contributed to the problem).

17. Regardless of what the other person does, work towards seeing them with love and goodness. Know that therefore love and goodness are thus flowing to you for your mental and physical health and well-being.

source: http://www.forgivenessday.org/steps_to_forgiveness.htm




If I can be of further assistance / guidance to you, and if you so desire, please feel free to cotact me, either by Private Message or email .

 

[simpy]

Re: searching for an answer (Baba Fareed Explained)

The terminology a Sufi Kavi uses, is not easy for a common mind to understand it only by it's literal meaning. You need to learn the deep meaning hidden behind what he is saying.


As Baba Freed's Shabad says in Bani
PrIdw jo qY mwrin mukIAW, iqnw n mwry GuMim ] AwpnVY Gir jweIAY, pYr iqnw dy cuim ]7] {pMnw 1378}
Literal Translation: Fareed, do not turn around and strike those who strike you with their fists.
Kiss their feet, and return to your own home. Page 1378(SGGS)

Spiritual Meaning: This is a quality of a REAL Gurmukh/Bhagat. It takes a lot of courage, patience, humility, and forgiveness to do such a task. In general a human mind cannot even think to do such a thing. First thing that comes to your mind is: how can somebody keeps me striking and I do nothing to teach him/her a lesson. Bhagat, when reaches a certain stage during the path to Salvation, realizes God's presence everywhere, in everybody, in every event, does not matter how small or big. That person's condition becomes like:

sUrj ikrix imly jl kw jlu hUAw rwm ] joqI joiq rlI sMpUrnu QIAw rwm ] (The rays of light merge with the sun and water merges with water. Ones light blends with the Light(Akal Purkh) and one becomes totaly perfect.) Page : 846(SGGS)

Bhagat sees every event as Guru's/God's Hukam and find the lesson to learn from the event instead of reacting to it.
Bhagat responds to the events, does not react to them.
Like Bhai Kanneyah Ji, sees Guru Ji's face in every wounded person while serving water, regardless to whichever side one belonged. So it was a response not a reaction to the event.

Here Baba Freed is telling us to practice humility, as nothing happens without His( The Higherr Power's) consent, He is The Karta Purkh(The Sustainer, The Liberator, The Saviour, The Limitless, The Distroyer, The Creator, The Nameless, The Desireless). Accept the event as it is without reacting. This is Bhana manana(Bwxw mMnxw). And where he is talking about Going to your home is going deep inside you, The Sachkhand inside you, not a physical home somewhere. And Kissing feet is not litterally kissing the feet, It is loving unconditionally.

As Dhan Dhan Siri Guru Arjun Dev Ji did not let Mia Mir destroy Sirhind, but accepted whatever the tyrants were doing to Himself, considering it as Waheguru’s hukam.

So in all- When somebody is striking you with Ninda/ Tyrany/Bossism/Physically/Any Otherway, You should accept it as God's Hukam and seek God's help by going deep within you where He is residing and ask for His guidance, YOU WILL GET THE ANSWER: HOW TO RESPOND TO THE SITUATION.



So to understand the real meaning of Bani and to know what it is teaching us, we need to explore it from a larger spectrum. Only Literal meaning of one stanza sometimes is not enough.

 

[Prabhjyotsaini]

As Dhan Dhan Siri Guru Arjun Dev Ji did not let Mia Mir destroy Sirhind, but accepted whatever the tyrants were doing to Himself, considering it as Waheguru’s hukam.

Just of track but I would like to know which story/sakhi you want to quote here.

Thanks & regards,

 

[vijaydeep Singh]

Gurfateh
Fifth Master did not let Mia Meer destroy Lahore and Ninh Master did not let Bhai Matidas do the same with Delhi.Das can say that more then miracles they could have done by moblising mob o librate Guru who was all popular

 

[simpy]

It is when Guru Sahib was made to sit on the red hot iron pan and burning sand was being poured over His body. His friend and devotee, Mia Mir ( Spelled as Mian Mir also), rushed to see him. Mia Mir was a Muslim saint. When he saw the ghastly scene, he cried out and said, “O Master! I cannot bear to see these horrors inflicted upon you. If you permit me, I would demolish this tyrant rule (Mian Mir is said to have possessed supernatural powers at that time)." The Guru smiled and asked him to look towards the skies. It is said that Mian Mir saw Angels begging the Guru's permission to destroy the wicked and the proud.
The Guru addressed him,"Mia Mir, you are perturbed too soon. This is the Will of my Master (God), and I cheerfully submit and surrender to His Sweet Will." The Guru repeated and exemplified in action the meaning of this verse:
qyrw kIAw mITw lwgY ]
hir nwmu pdwrQu nwnku mWgY ]
Mia Mir asked, why was he enduring the suffering at the hands of his vile sinners when he possesses superpowers? The Guru replied,"I bear all this tyranny to set an example to the Teachers of True Name, that they may not lose patience or rail at God in affliction. The true test of faith is the hour of misery. Without examples to guide them, ordinary persons' minds quail in the midst of suffering." Upon this Mia Mir departed commending the Guru's fortitude and singing his praises.

It all happened at Lahore, MY MISTAKE, THANKYOU FOR REMINDING ME.

 

[simpy]

Re: searching for an answer(Baba Fareed Explained)

The terminology a Sufi Kavi uses, is not easy for a common mind to understand it only by it's literal meaning. You need to learn the deep meaning hidden behind what he is saying.


As Baba Freed's Shabad says in Bani
PrIdw jo qY mwrin mukIAW, iqnw n mwry GuMim ] AwpnVY Gir jweIAY, pYr iqnw dy cuim ]7] {pMnw 1378}
Literal Translation: Fareed, do not turn around and strike those who strike you with their fists.
Kiss their feet, and return to your own home. Page 1378(SGGS)

Spiritual Meaning: This is a quality of a REAL Gurmukh/Bhagat. It takes a lot of courage, patience, humility, and forgiveness to do such a task. In general a human mind cannot even think to do such a thing. First thing that comes to your mind is: how can somebody keeps me striking and I do nothing to teach him/her a lesson. Bhagat, when reaches a certain stage during the path to Salvation, realizes God's presence everywhere, in everybody, in every event, does not matter how small or big. That person's condition becomes like:

sUrj ikrix imly jl kw jlu hUAw rwm ] joqI joiq rlI sMpUrnu QIAw rwm ] (The rays of light merge with the sun and water merges with water. Ones light blends with the Light(Akal Purkh) and one becomes totaly perfect.) Page : 846(SGGS)

Bhagat sees every event as Guru's/God's Hukam and find the lesson to learn from the event instead of reacting to it.
Bhagat responds to the events, does not react to them.
Like Bhai Kanneyah Ji, sees Guru Ji's face in every wounded person while serving water, regardless to whichever side one belonged. So it was a response not a reaction to the event.

Here Baba Freed is telling us to practice humility, as nothing happens without His( The Higherr Power's) consent, He is The Karta Purkh(The Sustainer, The Liberator, The Saviour, The Limitless, The Distroyer, The Creator, The Nameless, The Desireless). Accept the event as it is without reacting. This is Bhana manana(Bwxw mMnxw). And where he is talking about Going to your home is going deep inside you, The Sachkhand inside you, not a physical home somewhere. And Kissing feet is not litterally kissing the feet, It is loving unconditionally.

As Dhan Dhan Siri Guru Arjun Dev Ji did not let Mia Mir destroy Lahore, but accepted whatever the tyrants were doing to Himself, considering it as Waheguru’s hukam.

So in all- When somebody is striking you with Ninda/ Tyrany/Bossism/Physically/Any Otherway, You should accept it as God's Hukam and seek God's help by going deep within you where He is residing and ask for His guidance, YOU WILL GET THE ANSWER: HOW TO RESPOND TO THE SITUATION.



So to understand the real meaning of Bani and to know what it is teaching us, we need to explore it from a larger spectrum. Only Literal meaning of one stanza sometimes is not enough.

 

[Prabhjyotsaini]

It is when Guru Sahib was made to sit on the red hot iron pan and burning sand was being poured over His body. His friend and devotee, Mia Mir ( Spelled as Mian Mir also), rushed to see him. Mia Mir was a Muslim saint. When he saw the ghastly scene, he cried out and said, “O Master! I cannot bear to see these horrors inflicted upon you. If you permit me, I would demolish this tyrant rule (Mian Mir is said to have possessed supernatural powers at that time)." The Guru smiled and asked him to look towards the skies. It is said that Mian Mir saw Angels begging the Guru's permission to destroy the wicked and the proud.
The Guru addressed him,"Mia Mir, you are perturbed too soon. This is the Will of my Master (God), and I cheerfully submit and surrender to His Sweet Will." The Guru repeated and exemplified in action the meaning of this verse:
qyrw kIAw mITw lwgY ]
hir nwmu pdwrQu nwnku mWgY ]
Mia Mir asked, why was he enduring the suffering at the hands of his vile sinners when he possesses superpowers? The Guru replied,"I bear all this tyranny to set an example to the Teachers of True Name, that they may not lose patience or rail at God in affliction. The true test of faith is the hour of misery. Without examples to guide them, ordinary persons' minds quail in the midst of suffering." Upon this Mia Mir departed commending the Guru's fortitude and singing his praises.

It all happened at Lahore, MY MISTAKE, THANKYOU FOR REMINDING ME.

Thanks for the reply. I knew this passage, I just quoted since you mistakenly wrote Sirhind. That confused me. Now its all cleared.

Thanks & regards,