- Jan 31, 2011
- 5,769
- 8,194
- 54
I often read about the desire to meet god, how people wish to finally meet god and spend eternity at his feet bathing them in tears of joy, personally I can think of better ways to spend eternity, but we are all different.
I got up at 6 this morning, as I always do, god was lying next to me with a headache, I got god some aspirin, and then noted god was also on the bed scratching himself, so I got god some food and water, I got dressed and went downstairs, behind a huge door was god, 2 gods in fact, I opened the door and hugged god, kissed god, rubbed his nose, I could feel a tear in my eye, god looked so beautiful, I thought about bathing gods feet with my single tear, just to see what it felt like, but I noticed god had something quite disgusting on his foot, which seemed like a good time to leave and go to work.
On the way to work, god was driving in front of me, very slowly, and I was driving a very underpowered people carrier, with about as much guts as something very gutless indeed, I started to dislike god, he was making me late, and I had stuff to do, ten minutes later, god finally pulled off and I was able to get back up to speed, although, turning the corner, I noticed god trying to cross the road, so I stopped and let him cross, he gave me a big smile and a cheery wave, I decided to stop for petrol and breakfast, which today is a pasty and lucozade, I stopped to let god go before me, god was wearing a mini skirt and a tight blouse, I tried to remember that it was still god, and successfully did my best brotherly bear routine, I think god likes it when you remember that she is god underneath
I've met god so many times today, and its only 7.11am.......
I got up at 6 this morning, as I always do, god was lying next to me with a headache, I got god some aspirin, and then noted god was also on the bed scratching himself, so I got god some food and water, I got dressed and went downstairs, behind a huge door was god, 2 gods in fact, I opened the door and hugged god, kissed god, rubbed his nose, I could feel a tear in my eye, god looked so beautiful, I thought about bathing gods feet with my single tear, just to see what it felt like, but I noticed god had something quite disgusting on his foot, which seemed like a good time to leave and go to work.
On the way to work, god was driving in front of me, very slowly, and I was driving a very underpowered people carrier, with about as much guts as something very gutless indeed, I started to dislike god, he was making me late, and I had stuff to do, ten minutes later, god finally pulled off and I was able to get back up to speed, although, turning the corner, I noticed god trying to cross the road, so I stopped and let him cross, he gave me a big smile and a cheery wave, I decided to stop for petrol and breakfast, which today is a pasty and lucozade, I stopped to let god go before me, god was wearing a mini skirt and a tight blouse, I tried to remember that it was still god, and successfully did my best brotherly bear routine, I think god likes it when you remember that she is god underneath
I've met god so many times today, and its only 7.11am.......