Narayanjot ji and Mai ji,
With your permission may I add that Kaur Power only for those who stand up, own up and want to be counted as Kaurs. As kanwardeep ji had pointed out earlier, this tribe is rapidly depleting!
Surinder kaur jiThanks for the argument.
In my humble opinion-- If that is the case.... Women I am talking about need way much more help than clean shaven achievers. I mean these achievers had some support/knowledge/courage/// to do something--(you need all these qualities and oppurtunities to become an achiever of some kind/any kind)........... Then these women who are lacking all these qualities and oppurtunities--Need Extra Extra Help......... Thanks
And as a True Sikh-- one doesn't limit himself/herslf to just Sikh or sehajdhari or any other class-- A true Sikh does it for the humanity at large. Thanks again.
The question is not about me Its about entire sikh community how they take it.Let me show you an exampleBy the way Kanwardeep Singh Ji...........you are a member of this forum... And I am sure nobody here stops you from glorifying the achievements of clean shaven Sikh men.... I am 100% sure. are they stopping you????????
My first reaction is sadness and anger. Is this what our shaheeds died for? Members of my immediate family achieved shaheedi in Delhi 1984; they could have survived had they shed their "visible Sikh" identity.
But looking beyond anger, I realise that some people are stronger than others. Being different, being picked on and bullied year after year takes its toll. As Sikhs, we are called upon to be strong and courageous. Some are and some are not. Seeing this young man with a dirty-shaved face and shorn hair makes me sad, but I feel I have no right to judge him.
Now, had he been a Khalsa, my statement would be completely different. Khalsa are called upon to be more...
Thanks for the reply Kanwardeep Singh Ji..The question is not about me Its about entire sikh community how they take it.Let me show you an example
From Rags to Riches | The Langar Hall
The above is a story of a sikh man who is very successful in business man
but he has abandoned his sikh identity and you can easily judge the reaction of sikh community by reading the majority of comments
Harbansj24 ji,Simpy ji, Tejwant ji and Narayanjot ji,
It is good that you are talking underprivileged women needing a helping hand. There can be no disagreement on that.
But I was talking about a different set of privileged women who were erstwhile Kaurs and have now chosen to drop the suffix (because it is less fashionable?). These women advertise in Matrimonial columns in India as "....wanted a clean shaven, turban less Sikh boy for a highly educated broadminded Sikh girl......." and this trend is growing at an alarming rate. They cannot be part of any Kaur power whatsoever.
?regarding the girls from sikh families looking for cleanshaven guys---- have you ever thought --why they desire so?? and have you tried to help them get over this classification... if you did.. what problems did you face in the process of winning their heart??? Please share.... beacuse this can help a lot the Sikh boys and girls as well as their parents...
A few questions for all the Sangat---
Why do you think girls born in Sikh families dont want 'kaur' in their name??
Why are the girls born in sikh families looking for clean-shaven partners??
Why are we unable to convince girls born in Sikh families marry turbaned Sikhs??
Why girls born in Sikh families cut their hair?
Before the explanations to your questions can be attempted, lets understand that the term "Kaur Power" is understood to be referring to women having a surname Kaur and by virtue of that empowering themselves to great deeds. Did not Dasam Pita make Singhs so that they are different from other people. While empowering Singhs to do good for the mankind irrespective whether they were Singhs or not, he did have harsh things to say for "Patits" or apostates. Similarly Kaurs are empowered to do good without discrimination but what to say of those who choose to surrender their priviledge?...........
I humbly suggest to complete this--'List Project' let us do it in a seperate thread...Here is a list that I put together after analyzing the posts where suggestions were made. I do not recommend ranking them for this reason. Some of these items may not seem as important as others. But they are more manageable as first steps toward a larger goal. They can can be addressed more quickly, and will have a cummulative effect if implemented as a group of issues. And we don't want to lose momentum. Tackling something huge like stopping men from beating their wives is very difficult to effect immediately. But beginning the process of educating women and men is something we can do right away.
Now I think the next step is to take each idea and brainstorm 2 or 3 or more strategies that we can put into action with our current resources. This is how we build sustainability and capacity. Once we begin to see evidence of success from these early stages, we will be in a better position to convince others to provide resources so we can do more ambitious things.
- Advocate for participation of women at all levels of Gurdwara seva, including performance of kirtan at Harimandir Sahib
- Become advocates for changing laws that are ineffective, fostering new laws when they are needed, and enforcing existing laws when they are not being enforced
- Become an online portal for women and men where they have access to webinars, articles, and other information that raises awareness of abuse and discrimination against women
- Become an online portal where women and families can gain access to information about services and advocacy
- Campaign against female foeticide
- Change negative attitudes about women who excel in work, at school, in settings outside the home
- Educate women about their status, helping them understand that they themselves are not aware that they are in a bad situation; Build their confidence to seek help and raise their awareness of how to get the services they need
- Educate women and men to recognize abuse at home and in relationships by sharing stories, case studies, videos, and articles that bring them to understand that there are other ways of relating that are positive
- Encourage women and girls to learn self-defense skills (e.g., Gatka) to protect themselves but also to build their self-esteem
- Help women understand that they in no way “caused” or are responsible for physical abuse, but that they are the victims of another’s uncontrollable anger
- Disseminate information about bullying
- Raise awareness of community protective services that are available, and foster confidence in women who are being abused to use these services
- Raise awareness that being abused is not shameful
- Teach newly-weds the signs and symptoms of abusive relationships
Please forgive me for being so bossy.
I really appreciate what you have written, there is no other outlet, I have seen that addresses the issues that we face as mothers of Sikh children.