• Welcome to all New Sikh Philosophy Network Forums!
    Explore Sikh Sikhi Sikhism...
    Sign up Log in

Desire Vs. Want

Jan 6, 2005
3,450
3,762
Metro-Vancouver, B.C., Canada
Desire but Never ever Be In a State of Wanting
By Enoch Tan

When it comes to wealth consciousness, the most important word to be aware of is the word “want” and every word that denotes wanting. Want is lack, because wanting communicates to the universe that you do not have something, and that not having it makes you wish that you did. You can never have what you want. Wanting creates the perpetual state of wanting. As long as you are wanting it, you will keep being in vibrational harmony with the want and not the have.

When people seem to get what they want, it is because they have moved from a state of wanting to a state of receiving or having. The feeling of wanting is to bring to your awareness the fact that you are focusing on not having what you desire. Wanting is for the purpose of letting you know you are not in vibrational harmony with your desire and that it is time to shift states. Whenever you find yourself wanting something, shift from a state of wanting to a state of receiving or having.

When we focus on what we want, we send forth an energetic signal that is creative. However, that signal is not vibrationally aligned with what we say we want but instead it is aligned with “the longing” for what we want. Wanting is a descending emotion filled with longing, an intense wish for something that we feel separate from. It’s the experience of separation that prevents us from intentionally creating. As long as we feel separate from the essence of our desire, we vibrate in opposition to it.

So the key to having what you desire is to be desireless. It does not mean you do not have any desire, but it means that you are not desiring something in the sense of not having it, and wanting to have it. You can have something and yet still desire it. A desire is simply a desire, a feeling of being attracted to something. A want is different from a desire. A want is a feeling of being separated from that which you wish to have. Desire but never ever want anything.

The subtle difference in the meaning of the words “want” and “desire” results in the whole experience of having or not having that which you wish to have. Every word has a unique vibration to it which attracts conditions of similar vibration. It is your subconscious mind that creates your reality, and the words that you use will have their effect upon your subconscious mind and the reality that it creates. It’s funny that billions of people are kept away from what they want because of such a simple difference.

It is not exactly the word “want” that should be avoided, but the state by which the word produces. When a word is used in a different context, it can produce a different state. Therefore it is not the word itself but the state that is being produced that is of real importance in understanding the reality it creates. The natural state that the word “want” produces is the state of wanting. It is really the state of wanting that we should avoid rather than the word “want” itself.

Eliminate all forms of wanting. These includes regrets about the past, wishing things were different, longing for a future expectation, worrying and throwing your consciousness into the past or into the future. Do not hold on to the past moment and do not wish you were in the next moment to come. Allow yourself to be in the present and experiencing everything in it that you desire. The best way to create the future is to intend, release it and then get back to enjoying the here and now.

If you want your relationship to be a certain way, then the key to recreating it is to be willing to never have that relationship be that which you say you want. Instead you must be willing to focus on the experience of love and fulfillment that is the essence of your true desire. This translates to sheer willingness to accept whatever is, as exactly what’s meant to be. It means being willing to let this relationship go, and to be willing to accept it exactly as it is, as perfect in and of itself, even if it never changes.

From this willingness, your thoughts soften and a greater sense of tranquility will prevail. Within this state of mind lies the energetic framework required to inspire and attract the real relationship you want, the essence of your real desire. The framework here is an intention to unconditionally love and accept your partner exactly as they are, filled with the wonder of life as one of God’s perfect Divine souls. For as you send forth real love and light, you free their inner being to return the love.

To the extend that an individual or society eliminates wanting in their language and their state of being, they will have wealth and abundance. The secret to creating what you desire is to unconditionally love and accept what is, without needing it to change. To let it go and be willing to never have it the way you desire. This is how you intend with detachment. From the state of not wanting, and by being desireless, you are energetically aligned to attract all that you truly desire in every area of your life.

source: http://www.mindreality.com/desire-but-never-ever-be-in-a-state-of-wanting
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
Can anyone explain how this phrase would apply in our day to day living ? Citing examples too.

"The subtle difference in the meaning of the words “want” and “desire” results in the whole experience of having or not having that which you wish to have. Every word has a unique vibration to it which attracts conditions of similar vibration. It is your subconscious mind that creates your reality, and the words that you use will have their effect upon your subconscious mind and the reality that it creates."

Thanks
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
So the key to having what you desire is to be desireless. It does not mean you do not have any desire, but it means that you are not desiring something in the sense of not having it, and wanting to have it. You can have something and yet still desire it. A desire is simply a desire, a feeling of being attracted to something. A want is different from a desire. A want is a feeling of being separated from that which you wish to have. Desire but never ever want anything.

I read this quickly. All i really came to SPN to do this afternoon was respond to a PM from Begum. But then feel under the spell of the title of this thread.

I am reminded of one of those maddening puzzles given by Zen masters to novices: Does a dog have a Buddha nature?

The key to this riddle comes from understanding the meaning of "have' in Japanese. One cannot have some thing if one cannot also lose that thing. So we laugh because the idea of a dog with a Buddha nature is so ridiculous. Maybe, just maybe, a dog cannot lose his Buddha nature, because he never had a Buddha nature to lose in the first place. But wait a minute! Is that what the riddle is saying? A Buddha nature is not a thing -- to have or to lose. Now we really laugh! The problem is that question is a stupid question-- we realize.

We were never separated from What We Desire to begin with. We only think we are. So we are not in want Just need to ask a different question.

My humble response.

 

drkhalsa

SPNer
Sep 16, 2004
1,308
54
Very confusing writing as I could not get it fully!

anyway the yhing Iknow is that whether desire or wanting both happen in my mindin front of me without me doing anything in other words they are spontaneous as it appear to me so no questiopn oarises of whether to want or desire is just just happen on its own without my involvement .

I know what i have writen does not make clear sense but this is how it is for me

Thanks

Jatinder Singh
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
Author: Dr. Alexandra Gayek

You're walking down the aisles of a grocery store, looking at the menu in a restaurant, walking through a food court or down a street with shops selling tempting goodies.
What attracts you?
Do you routinely tell yourself "no, that's not good for me," or "I'd like that but it's fattening"?
Do you choose the lowest-priced item regardless of your desire?
Do you stick to a list of what you can and can't eat and drink?
Do you rebel against that same list?
What if you abandoned this restrictive, suppressive routine and let your true desire run the show?
Before you jump to the conclusion that you'd gain 20 pounds a week, or be sick from allergies or things your body wouldn't tolerate, consider this:
Is it possible that your deepest desire is for peace?
Take a long, slow breath and imagine yourself at peace. What images come to mind?
If peace were your goal, would you continue to pit the desires of your tastebuds against the rules you've been carrying around? Would you hate your body's appearance and then carry on the very actions you associate with creating that appearance?
If you were committed to peace, would you expose yourself to advertising that would create conflict between what would be loving behavior toward yourself and what would be punishment?
Here's an experiment for you. Imagine that your goal is mental, physical, and emotional peace. Imagine that your food and drink are measured in units of peace. Not flavor, not calories, not vitamins, not energy, not cholesterol, not chemicals, not dollars. Peace.
Imagine that as you consider what to buy or eat you are considering what will give you the most peace and cost the least peace.
What do you suppose would happen in your life?​
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
Must-Haves and Don't-Wants for a New Relationship
By Sheila Ellison Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Oct 14, 2007

Knowing what you're looking for is the first step towards successful dating. Most of us have a vague idea of want we want and don't want, but few take the time and effort to put it down on paper. If you're serious about creating a successful relationship, take the time to make a "must have" and "don't want" list.
Before making your list:
Evaluate past relationships. What were the positive and negative contributions you made to the relationship? Take a look at the "type" of people you've been attracted to in the past. Open up to the idea that dating is an opportunity to challenge your old views.
We all repeat what we know. Sometimes we have an idea of the partner we want, so we make a list based on what we've experienced before. However, if those relationships haven't worked out for you, it's time to take a serious look at what you've based your "must have" and "don't want" lists on in the past.

grp_cmsk1pq1_i_18x15_nw_i_1.gif
Be willing to experiment with different types of people.
grp_cmsk1pq2_i_18x15_se_i_1.gif







Be willing to experiment with different types of people.
Make your list:
When you make your lists, you must be very specific. It isn't going to help you if your list looks like this:
Don't want:
  • Abusive personality
  • Addicted
  • Lazy
  • Self-Centered
That list doesn't give you enough direction. The person could yell when driving (abusive), eat chocolate all day (addicted), like to spend every Sunday afternoon playing couch potato (lazy) and talk excessively about work (self-centered). Yet the specific behaviors I just mentioned might not bother you at all. So be very specific about what you don't want and the degree to which a behavior is acceptable. Same goes for what you want.

grp_cmsk1pq1_i_18x15_nw_i_1.gif
The more specific you can be, the better able you are to identify whether the person is compatible with your needs and wants.
grp_cmsk1pq2_i_18x15_se_i_1.gif







The more specific you can be, the better able you are to identify whether the person is compatible with your needs and wants.
The first time you make this list, write down everything that comes to your mind -- every little detail. Have fun with it. Pretend you're building a fantasy partner, the perfect match for you. Once you have this list, go through with a more serious mindset and circle the things you truly "must have" and "don't want." Make your final list from the circled items.
With list in hand:
You've done your work and know what you're going for. Good job! Now it's time to play detective. People always show their best side in the beginning. Sometimes they can fool you for months or years, so you need to pay close attention. Look at other relationships. If the person doesn't have a best friend, or any friends in his or her life from earlier times (childhood, high school, college, a past job), you may want to ask yourself why.
Watch interactions with family and strangers.

grp_cmsk1pq1_i_18x15_nw_i_1.gif
Observe how they respect themselves, their home and belongings.
grp_cmsk1pq2_i_18x15_se_i_1.gif







Observe how they respect themselves, their home and belongings. The things on your "don't want" list may not be obvious, so you'll need to pay attention to all the ways the person you're considering lives his or her life.
Most of us know the typical list of desirable must-haves. We all want someone who is faithful, communicative, supportive, honest, successful, patient, kind, interesting and talented. We all know that is what others want, so we do our best to show these traits and portray ourselves this way. Nobody shows up to reveal a list of dark secrets -- yet we all have them, so we must become detectives and learn to pick up on the little things.
Be committed to yourself
Stick by your list. If the person doesn't have at least 50 percent of your must-haves, don't bother continuing to date. If the person has anything on the "don't want" list that you absolutely can't live with, don't bother with another date. In the end it won't work out. Better to move on to someone better suited to you.
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
Begum ji,

You are on my list of most respected forum members. But I have to say something here, and know that I am laughing and frowning at the same time. So don't be cross. And I am in disagreement, but do not wish to offend.

About 17 years ago I worked with someone, a highly educated woman, who was getting nervous because she was not married at 32 and she wanted children. So she did what you suggest above. She made a list -- 10 essential characteristics in a mate. The man would have to have 7 of the 10 characteristics. I don't remember what they were, but she was certain she was applying logic and reason appropriately to a most important decision. I was totally bemused and couldn't believe what I was hearing.

She found the man. They had two children. In less than 5 years of marriage, they were divorced. A bitter divorce. She blamed it all on the fact that he couldn't help being just like a man.

It turned out that the three characteristics that he didn't have turned out to be the most important characteristics. In my feeble world, making mistakes is part of being human. Logic can't help you out of it. Somewhere in Japj(u)i there is a verse that says this.

Please forgive me if I offended you.
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
aad0002 Ji,

I'm enjoying this conversation. I just hope other forum members would join us and speak up their views as well.
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
If you have ever felt like you were stuck in a rut then you know what a terrible feeling that is. It seems like no matter how hard you try you keep going around in circles. Well I have some great news. If you feel like you are in a rut, here are 3 keys to attracting the change necessary to get out of it.
1. Identify what is keeping you in that rut.
This is very important to do. You can’t get rid of something if you don’t know it needs getting rid of. Most of the time, the reason you are stuck in a rut is because of some sort habit, fear, or lifestyle that is in your life. Be honest with yourself and discover what is really keeping you in the rut that you are in.
2. Get a team around you that will help you.
At first this team may only be you and one other person. That’s fine, just get a team. It’s important that you have someone that believes in you and your future to help you get out of the rut you are in. One thing that this person or persons must be able to do is challenge you. You don’t want someone that tolerates excuses.
3. Make a plan to change.
One thing that I have found is that most people that are stuck in a rut don’t have any solid plans about their future. Is this true about you? If you don’t have any solid plans that you are working towards, it’s imperative that you create that plan right now. The longer you go without a plan that you are working on the longer you will stay in a rut.

by Jason Osborn
 

drkhalsa

SPNer
Sep 16, 2004
1,308
54
I agreefully that in the flux of happenings in the life of an individual logic is only to consolidate your position as a winess to these happenings but play no role in modifying them as per your wish


Dear Begun ji

One suggestion. It would be nice if you write something yourself while posting along with quotes of various writer as Most of the time I have observed you dont write anything but jsut quote other writer

One reason that comes to my mind is that may be you also want to say something same but still when you write it become more readable for other than just quoting other writers


Thanks
 

TGill

SPNer
Jul 31, 2007
240
2
Hi All

I think both want and desire are inseperable in this context. They are just a mere play of words. I think what zen masters focus on is the bliss of desirelessness and not the achievement of desires by being desireless. I don't think you need to be desireless to achieve what you desire, you just can't do it. You achieve what you desire sooner or later, as simple as that... Otherwise you just don't desire it !

Similarly, I don't think desirelessness is something that can be achieved without desiring to be desireless. You always achieve what you desire sooner or later but you always go thru the pains associated with desiring and miss the bliss of desirelessness.

So then it would be better to desire the desirelessness as that would then be the last desire and the associated pains will vanish. But then the desire to achieve desirelessness makes it really painful to achieve it but ultimately you achieve it when you start flowing with the universal will.

So, to get the easy way out then is to turn your face towards the guru and to flow with his will, which happens when he wills. Till then you just need to keep up the good work and desire what you want. :)
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
2,743
43
INDIA
Begum ji,

You are on my list of most respected forum members. But I have to say something here, and know that I am laughing and frowning at the same time. So don't be cross. And I am in disagreement, but do not wish to offend.

About 17 years ago I worked with someone, a highly educated woman, who was getting nervous because she was not married at 32 and she wanted children. So she did what you suggest above. She made a list -- 10 essential characteristics in a mate. The man would have to have 7 of the 10 characteristics. I don't remember what they were, but she was certain she was applying logic and reason appropriately to a most important decision. I was totally bemused and couldn't believe what I was hearing.

She found the man. They had two children. In less than 5 years of marriage, they were divorced. A bitter divorce. She blamed it all on the fact that he couldn't help being just like a man.

It turned out that the three characteristics that he didn't have turned out to be the most important characteristics. In my feeble world, making mistakes is part of being human. Logic can't help you out of it. Somewhere in Japj(u)i there is a verse that says this.

Please forgive me if I offended you.

ANTONIA JI

just a question, did that woman really judged her partner well because there are 2 kinds of behaviour 1 is your natural the other one is fake.majority of people just show their fake side to outsiders it is only people which are very close to them know what they really are.
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
kds ji

You make a lot of sense. We were not close friends, but business associates. She shared a lot of her personal business with me -- just about everything --- things perhaps I should not have known.

She probably did have two sides to her personality, and one was the side she wanted people to see. My experience has been that when someone discloses "everything" and changes from one state to the next in a short period of time, then there is another side. But this is a side that even the person himself/herself does not know about. It just sort of slips out here and there and then you have to notice. In the case of the woman, she had this hidden side too -- even she did not realize it was there. She may have been a stranger to herself.

You always make me think.
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
Quote: " I don't think desirelessness is something that can be achieved without desiring to be desireless. "

TGill Ji, could you rephrase your message and maybe expand a little because your phrase is as profound as a wisdom quote.

Drkhalsa Ji,
Would our nutritional intake affect our desires? It is often said that those who eat meat and consume alcohol regularly have a greater tendency to indulge in Kam or Lust. Is this myth or reality?
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
2,743
43
INDIA
kds ji

You make a lot of sense. We were not close friends, but business associates. She shared a lot of her personal business with me -- just about everything --- things perhaps I should not have known.

She probably did have two sides to her personality, and one was the side she wanted people to see. My experience has been that when someone discloses "everything" and changes from one state to the next in a short period of time, then there is another side. But this is a side that even the person himself/herself does not know about. It just sort of slips out here and there and then you have to notice. In the case of the woman, she had this hidden side too -- even she did not realize it was there. She may have been a stranger to herself.

You always make me think.

The reason of divorce could be also that the man she choose shown her his fake characteristics.because while searching partners people don't disclose their bad points
 

drkhalsa

SPNer
Sep 16, 2004
1,308
54
Drkhalsa Ji,
Would our nutritional intake affect our desires? It is often said that those who eat meat and consume alcohol regularly have a greater tendency to indulge in Kam or Lust. Is this myth or reality?

As far as Best I know is that Eating meat gives you lot of energy burst
It now depends how your system manages this excess energy
if its into too much kaam it will use it for LUST
if its is into more physical activities then your stamina to do so increase

THE base line is Meat give you more Energy and it depend upon Individual system how its is and how it handle this


In past This Technique of eating less and only vegetarian has been used in India to take away all the excess energy from your sysytem and in the process it deceases you bodies all capacities including Lust buyt its has been wrongly and loosely assosiated .


Thanks
 

drkhalsa

SPNer
Sep 16, 2004
1,308
54
and Dear KDS ji


What i understand about human mind functioning is !

It has many faces not just two and its true in everybodies atleast all those like me who are not realised in spirtual sense .


About Divorce it does not happen due to compatibity issue , it just happen because of ever changing mind which changes faces everynow and then and also read the faces with changed interpretation now and then

so the both parties the observed and and observer are changing constantly and so bound to have conflict

Divorce happen so often now becuase when you have a chioce you just do it to blame everything on it and try to solve the mess of life .
When dont have a obvious choice you try to adapt and loook for other way outs just like traditional Cultures where still some people consider Divorce as No NO choice .

I ususally get to understand it better in way by thinking that Our own Mind creates so much mess and contradictions in our life but still we dont reject a it and keep on living with it
why/ because we dont have a choice!


Jatinder Singh
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
drkhalsa Ji,

Good reply. Here's another question: I've seen video clips on Youtube on cruelty to animals before and during slaughter. It is also shown that a large percentage of chicken are unhealthy before the slaughter.
so how would you address the meat consumed from unhealthy poultry?
 

drkhalsa

SPNer
Sep 16, 2004
1,308
54
Dear Begum Ji


I have also seen many such cruel vedios in which Poultry and meat farming goes on commercial scale especially in US

But one Thing Important !

This is not meat Issue at all so dont get confused
Its issue of Sheer Greed for the profit in bussiness and bussiness in thjis case happen to be MEAT

they use various method to increase there productivity are

1. Force feed the Animal
2.Steriods to increase their size rapidly
3. not treating the animal as living thing but just as commodity and so the poor handling and care



But in any Capitalist country it is the same story in every business you want to have look and even vegetarian food is not spared it uses

1. Genetic breeding
2. Fertlizer and other chemical to increase the productivity


About Unhealthy Poultry if you live in Western world No need to worry about infected ot defective meat as there are regulating Bodies which take care of such things and neccesary treatment is done to the meat before it reaches people for consumption , but still some chemichals might be passing on to people but the issue is same for other vegetarian food also

In india or other less developedcountry its more advisable to slaughter the animal yourself or in front of you insure the quality


Thanks
 

❤️ CLICK HERE TO JOIN SPN MOBILE PLATFORM

Top