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Self What Will You Remember?

Pathfinder

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Sep 5, 2016
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Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without you?.
Beautiful to have come, beautiful to stay and see, but tragically - also beautiful to leave..

You begin life assuming you are the chosen one. That you have a higher purpose. Then you shockingly realise that we are all just random beings without any real purpose.
The frustration infests and corrodes your very being as soon as you realise that life is all just a random nothingness and truly meaningless.

But, once MORE - you are proven wrong again, when you find meaning at the dead end...

“At exactly which point did your idea of exploring yourself and the world begin with www...?” lol - No, luckily mine began before this gadget era.i meant travelling to raw nature devoid of destruction as yet. No phone no camera etc, a trip for yourself and not a travelogue to post and boast of.

On a field trip with a freind i volunteered alongwith - to a non-descript hamlet off the map. The hamlet lies in the eastern ghats deep inside the forest and is off the grid. My 120 detuned metal horses gave up after two stream crossings. After all, the mortal clan eventually has to rightly surrender and get humbled by nature, as always. We trekked the last 6 kms to reach the village. The trek path lit by the waning moon that played hide and seek with us, the drizzle that washed away our unwarranted mortal fears. The silhouette of the huts appeared as we sat down to shed off our weariness on the cliff. One last stream and we would reach our destination.

The stream felt paralysing cold. But I had to cleanse myself. He refused a desk job with a big organisation to volunteer for peanuts in this god-forsaken place.

We often had soul talk between us. A borderless world, a moneyless society, dreams, lol. He often told me that the world would be so better off as a big Gurudwara. Nobody would go hungry and nobody would be homeless. He is a devout Christian and I am a ' longing but scared to be sikh'. But we get along well. I would not go into the travelogue details else I would digress from the main issue at hand.

I just have some doubts. How do you folks cope with these eddie's in your lives?. I am sure I can find some inspiration from someone out there.

I never loved money, in fact i detest it. I feel all should share equally no holds barred. Love doom metal for its spiritual overtones. Spent a lot of my life living off my backpack in bermudas and sandals, lol - and in the lap of mommy nature.

Had my share of downs too. Lost my career due to a chip installed in my weak heart after two heart strokes at sea. Had to be airlifted by the brave Marines in a storm. Three years now with an ICD and jobless but I never lost my sanity. I can't walk half a mile now without collapsing but funnily I trekked, rode, drove to the highest motorable roads in the world thrice, lol, so No regrets.

What I want to know is that the world, money, power-display, status in society etc never made sense to me ever but now I find them repulsive, this strong hatred.
I lived a while offgrid for close to 3 months and find true peace away from the mortal clan.

But the Guru requires that we stay in Maya and conquer it. I can't do that. The world makes sense or dosent, simple. It never did to me. Now all I see is a endless oceans of fools and feel sorry that they flash their stupidity around. Why can't they stop and listen to the Guru for a minute?.

With each day the man made society seems meaningless and now it's bordering on hate.

How does one live in this muck and still keep ones focus intact??
Personally I like my cabin in the middle of nowhere and were it not for the Amritvela Simran at the Gurudwara I would spend more time there.

Sikhism is tough, so tough at times. I think I will need the strength of the Amrit and the sanctuary of the 5 kakars- to keep my sanity intact.

My better half balances both her worldly and spiritual life so well. Why am I lost? Why can't I be a moderate? and balance life as well??.
Are we men so weak??.

Why does the superficial worldly life hold no meaning and seems so full of vile suddenly??

I am not even a Sikh yet and this storm rages so hard. Will the Amrit intensify or subdue this confusion?. I am truly thirsty I swear but I want to get my indifference to society under control as it feels more strong and meaningless each day.

Why is the same world that I kept at bay with my indifference not so long ago seem so spiteful suddenly. A world that I ignored for so long is getting on my nerves, lol - it's funny but kind of creepy at times too.

As a sailor and by nature i feel strongly for or against things. The first thing ingrained into us before we take command at sea is that we MUST MAKE a desicion. Right or wrong does not matter. MAKE a desicion is all that counts. And once a desicion is made stick to it come hell or high water. As a landlubber now do I discard the sea logic ingrained in me.

I can see no beauty in mortal society or its way of life. We "buy" earth!! A real estate bargain?? What else is slaughter?? Trade our mother!! How low can we stoop !!. Whose grand idea was it to profit from pieces of mommy's flesh??? our mother??

God, I'm depressed, these idiots are coming up with 35 floor skyscrapers next to the Gurudwara. they slaughtered so many trees. I got to go take a walk else I feel chocked and breathless, lol - my bad I know.

I hate the bad (the good is so miniscule) of mortal society - Then how ? and why ? be a part of this stuipidity??.

Why is being a part of society a requisite of a Sikh?? Or am I wrong in assuming it is??

I play this pretence with myself that all the Guru ji's , Shahabazyade, shaheeds panj pyare are present in the durbar each morning during Amritvela. They are spiritually present it's true but I imagine they are physically too. I don't know why I do that but it gladdens my heart to feel this game each morning. At least it's way better than the game called - illusion of mortal life, lol.

WGJDK,WGJDF...

 
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RD1

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Sep 26, 2016
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I frequently cycle back into the feeling that existence is so meaningless, and that I do not want to be a part of this world. The five thieves are in domination, and it is reflected everywhere. Our society seems to become more and more superficial, shallow, materialistic, and hungry for power, money, and status. Everything is a show. We are losing touch with our inner core selves, and attaching more to our external existence. Some of us can see through this illusion, but most are lost within it. I think becoming aware of this illusion is enlightening, and enlightenment isn't necessarily about feeling happy and at peace all the time. It is about becoming aware of the truth.

The Gurus asked of us to become aware of this truth, and at the same time to not retreat away from society. We need to find balance. Perhaps with knowing the truth, we are in a position to affect more positive change in the world, and that is why the Gurus wanted us to embrace being a Sikh with others.

In general it can be so difficult to see beauty in mortal society. But I always try to remember that there are definitely beautiful and inspiring individual among us. And if we can move deeper into ourselves and find the One, then perhaps we will see the One reflected more around us.
 

Harry Haller

Panga Master
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Jan 31, 2011
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I am also in the pretty much the same place as the two of you, with a slightly different angle, in that none of what you say amazes me or shocks me, it is the way things are, in my view, you can either transverse the road between god and the flesh, find some fairly warm place, a nice glow, and save yourself from the fires of the deep feelings that we are able to experience, so my life is a cycle of god, and the flesh, and everything burns like the fire of hell, no nice glow for us I am afraid, unless you prefer a zombie like existence, unless you prefer a living death with your joys and pleasures coming from possessions, pride and ego.

I will share with you my experience of yesterday

Having spent a few weeks without a car, and finding the current scheme of standing on street corners with a huge pile of parcels in the hope that someone that knows me will stop and give me a lift, unreliable (worked so far, but can take time), I decided to buy a car, I managed to find a 17 year old Audi estate 100 miles away, so made contact, and left yesterday morning at 6am to the Midlands. I also refuse to carry a phone, but again, that will have to be compromised at some point, but I digress, the journey was strange beyond belief, everyone stares at a phone, or a tablet, everywhere, in restaurants, on the train, everywhere, no one takes your money anymore, you have to use a machine which barks orders at you, all the buildings I remember have gone, every train station is crammed with upmarket shops, no one makes eye contact, no one looks at you, no one smiles, to say I felt like a country bumpkin would be an understatement.

Finally, I got to my destination, I saw the car and noted a jolly cuddly looking fellow with long hair and a beard, a good start I thought, he me back to his farm, and I was delighted to see he had a collection of classic cars, well, to me they were just cars of my youth, we got talking, about the very subject of this blog, me, I feel pretty alone at the moment, like I am surrounded by zombies, like every interaction is meaningless, pointless, I do not wish to talk about television, or politics, or the latest fashions, I am afraid it is a huge game, and you either play along or alienate yourself, in my younger days, dressed in a smart suit and a red turban, a smile to the opposite sex would normally bring about a smile back, a flirtatious look, now I realised that women saw me as some sort of cuddly teddy bear, but then maybe I smile like a cuddly teddy bear these days.

I commented on the XJ6 he was working on, it was beautiful, I asked him if he would mind me sniffing it, I immediately regretted my statement, as I realised he would think I was some sort of weirdo, but he smiled, sniff away he said, its a beautiful smell, I sniffed, sniffed hard, yes, its different to the series 3 though, I said, and then we both looked at each other and together said, more leathery, it was a beautiful moment, I noticed his big friendly eyes, we talked for some time, about religion, about life, he was a farmer, real son of the soil, he showed me around the car, it was immaculate, I mean immaculate, he had spent yesterday cleaning it, can I take it for a spin, I asked, sure, he threw the keys at me. When so much takes away your trust for your fellow man, that you feel like I do sometimes, and someone I hardly know, and have not paid, is throwing me the keys to his car, I felt slightly ashamed of my own bitterness regarding kindness and love, I left happy and glad to have met him.He went quite a way to restoring my faith in human nature, his attitude seemed to be, sure we all get knocked, we all get cheated, but I am not going to stop being me and end up bitter and suspicious, I will use my brain and intellect and act accordingly.

I stopped at a service station, I wanted to call my dad, speak to my mom, I asked while I paid for my overpriced chocolate bar where the payphone was, I got a blank look, there are no payphones, and it was a big service station.

I look at the world with amusement now, it is all, a fantastic joke, but gentlemen, should you not be grateful you can see the emperor has no clothes? Sure, no one else believes you, but that is ok, the emperor has no clothes, once we stop torturing ourselves as to why everyone else can see it, and accept it, then there comes a more meaningful life, a more real life, a life where the emperors saggy belly and tiny genitals are out for all to see, well for all to have the chance to see, we see it, we should be grateful


The video for this song is actually the same 20 seconds of footage viewed from different angles, forwards, backwards,
 
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Seeker2013

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Aug 29, 2013
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Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without you?.
Beautiful to have come, beautiful to stay and see, but tragically - also beautiful to leave..
Hi Pathfinder ji,
Well, none of us are the axis of the world. As they say "world does not revolve around anyone". Funnily enough , the one who is the axis of the world is never seen, hardly felt and hardly even meditated upon in the wee hours .
Beautiful to have come, but are we coming here for the first time ?!! beautiful to stay ? staying for the first time ?!!
sadly - beautiful to leave , but again not leaving for the first time, perhaps ?
when you're anyways gonna come again , and again and again and again ... until you realize who you truly are . Then you realize you're everything . This is where the divine humane qualities which are the foundations of humanity arose from ! from such enlightened beings only , the saints who propounded equality , universal brotherhood and all the other good principles of this world. The basis is spirituality , my friend !
when you realize what is in you is exactly what is inside the "other" person, there is no other !
thats when you will share even the most delicate of pastries with a beggar , your belongings with the less fortunate, because they're same substance as you, a pure , "unaffected by good or bad" soul !
but we can't see and feel like the above mentioned ! despite me giving a 15 line lecture right now can hardly feel it . The reason for that is what our wise ancients called "maya" - deceiver. Maya will make you feel you're "other" than everyone else. This is where greed, selfishness , and all other bad principles will come from . This is where feeling of 'mine' comes from and this "mine, mine, mine ... " will make you unrestful, anxious, impatient, temporarily satisfied but no permanent bliss.


You begin life assuming you are the chosen one. That you have a higher purpose. Then you shockingly realise that we are all just random beings without any real purpose.
The frustration infests and corrodes your very being as soon as you realise that life is all just a random nothingness and truly meaningless.
Would it be prude of me if I blamed this mostly on the prevalent atheistic tendencies of the modern world ?
If you're gonna have this worldview : "A loud explosion of space-time happened in nowhere, then the atomic particles formed, and hydrogen condensed to stars, and one such star had a ball of dirt around it , the waters cooled , then dna came into being, the cells, multicellular life, fish - like beings came walking on four legs, the dinosaurs, the triassic, jurassic ,the extinctions, the mammals , first the rat, then monkey , then human, and then some random chance and your mom dad married and out of the 100 million sperms, you were the one who made it " .
I am not anti-science, I love watching documentaries , I love astronomy , I agree with evolution, but does all of this knowledge help in making me blissful .
As you also perhaps must be knowing, it doesn't !

The fact is : "you're both insignificant and very significant at the same time.!"
In the death process of some star, the gold that was forum , its on you ring finger or around your neck or something , you're the result of 3.4 billion years of natural selection.

But even this doesn't do much for me !
What helps me at times is "I am not this body, I am a traveller , traveling since ages , sometimes as a plant, sometimes as mineral, sometimes as an animal , so many times perhaps as a human, sometimes straight , sometimes gay, sometimes white, sometimes black, sometimes a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes through garden, sometimes through thorns , still traveling , but I do know one thing , I keep my best to keep my faith in the saints and the sages and the gurus , what they tell me ,don't do much of "why ? who ? when ? how?" on it. Take it as you take a mathematical axiom. It just is ! and they tell me the end point of journey is start point . and that is the absolute, god, waheguru, allah, yahweh, whatever you call it.

Have faith he listens to you. And is forever helpful.
Try talking to SGGS sometimes. The great guru does reply if really want to, but even I at times can't agree to what I read. I guess its 'haumai' (ego).


Sri Guru Granth Sahib is not merely a scripture, it is spirit manifested as words.
I have myself felt my prayers being answered in 'hukamnamas' .




The stream felt paralysing cold. But I had to cleanse myself. He refused a desk job with a big organisation to volunteer for peanuts in this god-forsaken place.
Some people just can't take a 9-5 job . They're not just made for it, despite the fact that they could due to their high merit land in the top of companies. They would rather go skydiving, exploring nature, doing crazy stuff , they're extrovert kind of people, or perhaps they're introverts but wanna explore the world to explore what is inside them.
What is inside is what is outside. I know this doesn't make much sense but so does "theory of relativity" to most people !


I just have some doubts. How do you folks cope with these eddie's in your lives?. I am sure I can find some inspiration from someone out there.
I am a 26 yr old guy . Wasted a lot of time in my life, shamelessly I will admit, I still haven't got myself out of the quicksand yet !
Lied to my parents about having a job for 1 years , then by divine intervention (its a long story) landed myself in the dream job I was so desirous about. If this is not a miracle, then what is ? I do consider it a miracle.
He answered my prayer.
But landing a job was a minor issue compared to issue that stands staring in the eye to me now, like a giant, ready to swallow me in its depressing tummy - my sexuality .
I am gay , you're lucky to have a "significant other". You can have a baby too. You have a higher social standing and privileges than I do ! You're not alone , physically atleast.

After my mom dad is gone, who is there for me? this question I dare not even ask my own soul . Its cold, as if my life itself seem like a horror movie . I dare not even imagine my single life after my parents have left me, with no siblings and cold cousins who stay a 100 miles away from me . What do I have to look forward to ? what "nuptial joys" , "conjugal bliss" for me ? I am an unapprehended criminal in my country , a nature's defect to some, a man-less man to some others, and an object of comedy for all . The only two emotions I can get is "sympathy" or "contempt". Not "love", "understanding", "empathy" . The fact that I might have to live a second-class citizen in my own country for the rest of my lonely life is traumatizing to me , it pulls me in the mucks of deep sadness, gloom, depression and darkness , a big question mark that my life is !
I hardly handle and carry forward myself, unable to confide in anyone, except a few near and dear ones and gay "friends" on social media who I have never met in real life.

What keeps me alive ?
my faith in god ! Its not a shining, bright light , its more like a candle flame , wavers with the winds of pain and mental agony, but I manage to keep it alight somehow.

If he , my lord, can give conjugal bliss to "bibi rajni" , and pay off her faith in him, then why won't he help me ? ofcourse he would . This faith is what keeps me, and countless others going.

And I tell you one thing :
Someone else might disappoint your faith in them , but god never ever does .



What I want to know is that the world, money, power-display, status in society etc never made sense to me ever but now I find them repulsive, this strong hatred.

But the Guru requires that we stay in Maya and conquer it. I can't do that. The world makes sense or dosent, simple. It never did to me. Now all I see is a endless oceans of fools and feel sorry that they flash their stupidity around. Why can't they stop and listen to the Guru for a minute?.


How does one live in this muck and still keep ones focus intact??
Personally I like my cabin in the middle of nowhere and were it not for the Amritvela Simran at the Gurudwara I would spend more time there.
We can easily lecture others, oh look , I am doing it right now . lol .
If only we applied our preaching to ourselves.

Its good if money makes no sense to you. You're one of the lucky ones who can atleast see the fakeness of this "reality" of the world.

Its not hard brother to live a life in this world, amidst this society and yet be detached from it.
Lotus grows in muck, but remains uncontaminated by it.

Look at all those gursikhs who keep 5 Ks and live life of a householder. Its not that tough !
You only have to differentiate between need and greed.

Consider yourself fortunate to be blessed with amritvela simran. This is the greatest of all yoga.


Sikhism is tough, so tough at times. I think I will need the strength of the Amrit and the sanctuary of the 5 kakars- to keep my sanity intact.

My better half balances both her worldly and spiritual life so well. Why am I lost? Why can't I be a moderate? and balance life as well??.
Are we men so weak??.
men ARE weak ! wife is just "mummy version 2" . Someone to do your laundry, feed you, someone to love and lust after, someone who can hand you your tv remote when you're lazing off on the couch, ....


I can see no beauty in mortal society or its way of life. We "buy" earth!! A real estate bargain?? What else is slaughter?? Trade our mother!! How low can we stoop !!. Whose grand idea was it to profit from pieces of mommy's flesh??? our mother??
Maybe this is perfect time for spiritual endeavour then ?

Don't think you're not strong for sikhi yet. You're already a sikh if you believe in SGGS and do your amritvela simran.

"Charan sharan gur ek painda jaaye chal, satgur kot painda aage hoe let hai"
(I move one step in direction of my guru, My guru came tens of millions of steps towards me to embrace me)

Compare this with traditional islamic saying :
God said "Move one step towards me, I move 10 steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you"

Essence of all religion is same !


God, I'm depressed, these idiots are coming up with 35 floor skyscrapers next to the Gurudwara. they slaughtered so many trees. I got to go take a walk else I feel chocked and breathless, lol - my bad I know.
I often had to take a walk to the lake when I found myself spiraling in depressive thoughts. It does little in the long run. Daily running has helped many people though .

I play this pretence with myself that all the Guru ji's , Shahabazyade, shaheeds panj pyare are present in the durbar each morning during Amritvela. They are spiritually present it's true but I imagine they are physically too. I don't know why I do that but it gladdens my heart to feel this game each morning. At least it's way better than the game called - illusion of mortal life, lol.
Don't doubt that guru is not there.
As one gyaani ji told me "Ten gurus were not jyot of SGGS, SGGS is the jyot illuminating the 10 gurus" . So simple, so concise , so deep !


May god bless you
 
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Pathfinder

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Sep 5, 2016
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Rd1 ji and Harry ji,

Truly loved the insights you shared so beautifully.

It's true, maybe I need to change my perception of things. Today I felt drained physically and mentally after the Amritvela simran and the bhaiji was kind enough to spend quite a bit of his time with me and although the fog still persists I can at least be sure that this is the right path.

Maybe the doom metal influence has ruptured my sanity and therby force me to seek the beauty of isolation.
But I must change and will change.

There is sadness in solitude bundled with serenity but I need to get away from the shadows I realise.

Just watching them folks cut trees that Akaal nourished with so much love sliced my heart apart. I'm better now thanks to the fresh viewpoint I intend to see things from now.

Strangely destruction of nature or any torture of animals affects me way more deeply than the news of any killing of humans. What we do with each other is heinous enough but destruction of nature and atrocities on animals is way beyond reprehensible. It's disgusting and shameful to belong to such an devious species.

But then i know of so many folks who make me feel grateful at being a human. My classmate who runs an orphanage since she turned 18 or so. One of my best pal who volunteers in remote villages to satiate his inner calling. So many more. I need to look at these folks for guidance.

May the signs of the Akaal lead a stray wanderer to solace, may the strength to walk the narrow path be apparent to a wayward soul.

Thank you guys for the clarity and hope that I must unravel on the journey ahead.
 
Seeker2013 ji,

This is why i joined the sangat here. There is always someone to pick me up when I stumble and fall. There are so many folks that inspire without even realizing they do - whose posts I have read and re-read for clarity and guidance.

Untill now I was waiting for the path to be illuminated but now I will seek the light. I realise I can't get anywhere sulking in this abyss.

Loved your guidance seeker ji.. it is really inspiring and so insightful. Thank you for helping me back on my feet.
 
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Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,768
8,173
50
hey don't knock the abyss! everyone else is terrified of it, but its where you and I regenerate!, its where we think! its called the abyss because its a reflection of our soul, and we are all in the abyss, its just that most put curtains up and paint the walls.
 
Hi Pathfinder ji,
Well, none of us are the axis of the world. As they say "world does not revolve around anyone". Funnily enough , the one who is the axis of the world is never seen, hardly felt and hardly even meditated upon in the wee hours .
Beautiful to have come, but are we coming here for the first time ?!! beautiful to stay ? staying for the first time ?!!
sadly - beautiful to leave , but again not leaving for the first time, perhaps ?
when you're anyways gonna come again , and again and again and again ... until you realize who you truly are . Then you realize you're everything . This is where the divine humane qualities which are the foundations of humanity arose from ! from such enlightened beings only , the saints who propounded equality , universal brotherhood and all the other good principles of this world. The basis is spirituality , my friend !
when you realize what is in you is exactly what is inside the "other" person, there is no other !
thats when you will share even the most delicate of pastries with a beggar , your belongings with the less fortunate, because they're same substance as you, a pure , "unaffected by good or bad" soul !
but we can't see and feel like the above mentioned ! despite me giving a 15 line lecture right now can hardly feel it . The reason for that is what our wise ancients called "maya" - deceiver. Maya will make you feel you're "other" than everyone else. This is where greed, selfishness , and all other bad principles will come from . This is where feeling of 'mine' comes from and this "mine, mine, mine ... " will make you unrestful, anxious, impatient, temporarily satisfied but no permanent bliss.




Would it be prude of me if I blamed this mostly on the prevalent atheistic tendencies of the modern world ?
If you're gonna have this worldview : "A loud explosion of space-time happened in nowhere, then the atomic particles formed, and hydrogen condensed to stars, and one such star had a ball of dirt around it , the waters cooled , then dna came into being, the cells, multicellular life, fish - like beings came walking on four legs, the dinosaurs, the triassic, jurassic ,the extinctions, the mammals , first the rat, then monkey , then human, and then some random chance and your mom dad married and out of the 100 million sperms, you were the one who made it " .
I am not anti-science, I love watching documentaries , I love astronomy , I agree with evolution, but does all of this knowledge help in making me blissful .
As you also perhaps must be knowing, it doesn't !

The fact is : "you're both insignificant and very significant at the same time.!"
In the death process of some star, the gold that was forum , its on you ring finger or around your neck or something , you're the result of 3.4 billion years of natural selection.

But even this doesn't do much for me !
What helps me at times is "I am not this body, I am a traveller , traveling since ages , sometimes as a plant, sometimes as mineral, sometimes as an animal , so many times perhaps as a human, sometimes straight , sometimes gay, sometimes white, sometimes black, sometimes a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes through garden, sometimes through thorns , still traveling , but I do know one thing , I keep my best to keep my faith in the saints and the sages and the gurus , what they tell me ,don't do much of "why ? who ? when ? how?" on it. Take it as you take a mathematical axiom. It just is ! and they tell me the end point of journey is start point . and that is the absolute, god, waheguru, allah, yahweh, whatever you call it.

Have faith he listens to you. And is forever helpful.
Try talking to SGGS sometimes. The great guru does reply if really want to, but even I at times can't agree to what I read. I guess its 'haumai' (ego).


Sri Guru Granth Sahib is not merely a scripture, it is spirit manifested as words.
I have myself felt my prayers being answered in 'hukamnamas' .





Some people just can't take a 9-5 job . They're not just made for it, despite the fact that they could due to their high merit land in the top of companies. They would rather go skydiving, exploring nature, doing crazy stuff , they're extrovert kind of people, or perhaps they're introverts but wanna explore the world to explore what is inside them.
What is inside is what is outside. I know this doesn't make much sense but so does "theory of relativity" to most people !




I am a 26 yr old guy . Wasted a lot of time in my life, shamelessly I will admit, I still haven't got myself out of the quicksand yet !
Lied to my parents about having a job for 1 years , then by divine intervention (its a long story) landed myself in the dream job I was so desirous about. If this is not a miracle, then what is ? I do consider it a miracle.
He answered my prayer.
But landing a job was a minor issue compared to issue that stands staring in the eye to me now, like a giant, ready to swallow me in its depressing tummy - my sexuality .
I am gay , you're lucky to have a "significant other". You can have a baby too. You have a higher social standing and privileges than I do ! You're not alone , physically atleast.

After my mom dad is gone, who is there for me? this question I dare not even ask my own soul . Its cold, as if my life itself seem like a horror movie . I dare not even imagine my single life after my parents have left me, with no siblings and cold cousins who stay a 100 miles away from me . What do I have to look forward to ? what "nuptial joys" , "conjugal bliss" for me ? I am an unapprehended criminal in my country , a nature's defect to some, a man-less man to some others, and an object of comedy for all . The only two emotions I can get is "sympathy" or "contempt". Not "love", "understanding", "empathy" . The fact that I might have to live a second-class citizen in my own country for the rest of my lonely life is traumatizing to me , it pulls me in the mucks of deep sadness, gloom, depression and darkness , a big question mark that my life is !
I hardly handle and carry forward myself, unable to confide in anyone, except a few near and dear ones and gay "friends" on social media who I have never met in real life.

What keeps me alive ?
my faith in god ! Its not a shining, bright light , its more like a candle flame , wavers with the winds of pain and mental agony, but I manage to keep it alight somehow.

If he , my lord, can give conjugal bliss to "bibi rajni" , and pay off her faith in him, then why won't he help me ? ofcourse he would . This faith is what keeps me, and countless others going.

And I tell you one thing :
Someone else might disappoint your faith in them , but god never ever does .





We can easily lecture others, oh look , I am doing it right now . lol .
If only we applied our preaching to ourselves.

Its good if money makes no sense to you. You're one of the lucky ones who can atleast see the fakeness of this "reality" of the world.

Its not hard brother to live a life in this world, amidst this society and yet be detached from it.
Lotus grows in muck, but remains uncontaminated by it.

Look at all those gursikhs who keep 5 Ks and live life of a householder. Its not that tough !
You only have to differentiate between need and greed.

Consider yourself fortunate to be blessed with amritvela simran. This is the greatest of all yoga.




men ARE weak ! wife is just "mummy version 2" . Someone to do your laundry, feed you, someone to love and lust after, someone who can hand you your tv remote when you're lazing off on the couch, ....

Why does the superficial worldly life hold no meaning and seems so full of vile suddenly??

I am not even a Sikh yet and this storm rages so hard. Will the Amrit intensify or subdue this confusion?. I am truly thirsty I swear but I want to get my indifference to society under control as it feels more strong and meaningless each day.

Why is the same world that I kept at bay with my indifference not so long ago seem so spiteful suddenly. A world that I ignored for so long is getting on my nerves, lol - it's funny but kind of creepy at times too.

As a sailor and by nature i feel strongly for or against things. The first thing ingrained into us before we take command at sea is that we MUST MAKE a desicion. Right or wrong does not matter. MAKE a desicion is all that counts. And once a desicion is made stick to it come hell or high water. As a landlubber now do I discard the sea logic ingrained in me.



Maybe this is perfect time for spiritual endeavour then ?

Don't think you're not strong for sikhi yet. You're already a sikh if you believe in SGGS and do your amritvela simran.

"Charan sharan gur ek painda jaaye chal, satgur kot painda aage hoe let hai"
(I move one step in direction of my guru, My guru came tens of millions of steps towards me to embrace me)

Compare this with traditional islamic saying :
God said "Move one step towards me, I move 10 steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you"

Essence of all religion is same !




I often had to take a walk to the lake when I found myself spiraling in depressive thoughts. It does little in the long run. Daily running has helped many people though .



Don't doubt that guru is not there.
As one gyaani ji told me "Ten gurus were not jyot of SGGS, SGGS is the jyot illuminating the 10 gurus" . So simple, so concise , so deep !


May god bless you
gentlemen, gentlemen, god bless our miseries for driving us forward :)

just think Seekerji, if you had never felt this way, you would not be yearning for your answers, I believe it is those answers that will make your life worthwhile as it will mine.
 

Seeker2013

Writer
SPNer
Aug 29, 2013
408
173
30
hey don't knock the abyss! everyone else is terrified of it, but its where you and I regenerate!, its where we think! its called the abyss because its a reflection of our soul, and we are all in the abyss, its just that most put curtains up and paint the walls.
 


gentlemen, gentlemen, god bless our miseries for driving us forward :)

just think Seekerji, if you had never felt this way, you would not be yearning for your answers, I believe it is those answers that will make your life worthwhile as it will mine.
I don't just want answers. I long for peace. The constant turmoil is exhausting .
What worthwhile life ? a lonely life without anyone else ? a life deprived of happiness ?
what joy in being a responsible "man" ? what does it bring ?
 

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,768
8,173
50
I am alone and I am happy, if you need someone, or something to be happy, you will always be disappointed.
 

Pathfinder

Writer
SPNer
Sep 5, 2016
72
63
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Alone and lonely are so contradictory.

I feel lonely in this concrete jungle. Alone is when I am un-lonliest, if there is such a term, lol.

Things that make me happiest are endless -
The smell of the earth just before the downpour, the sight of the mesmerising valley, the gentle touch of the cold clear stream waters, the taste of the raindrop that I catch with an open mouth, lol. The loud, melodious and occasionally sound of thunder. Each sense overflows with the power of the Akaal

I don't need to to be told - it is Amritvela then and there itself - I find my soul resonating and reverberating with peace, gratitude, love, in awe etc.
I am physically aware of Akaal in every sense at times like this.

But I find myself in a Gurudwara. It's like a sanctuary where I decipher myself.

Thanks to the Sadh Sangat here I feel myself again, feel all charged up for my Amritvela tommorow. I'm so glad that I landed here.
 
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Original

Writer
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Jan 10, 2011
1,053
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....Poets' Corner or what ! Much of what I've read is beautiful - not so much the content, but rather the literature.
Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without you?.
..in the field of infinite probabilities, the pure potential you [meaning khalsa, state of pure consciousness] exist on all of these levels simultaneously, but at the level of conscious experience, you exist only in one - your own projected plane of existence at any one time. In other words, you are part of a whole !
 

Pathfinder

Writer
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Sep 5, 2016
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Poets' Corner or what ! Much of what I've read is beautiful - not so much the content, but rather the literature
Pretty much everything about 'doom poetry' (that's doom songs that never saw the light of the day - as per my def, lol) is metaphorical and abstract and therby open to interpretation the way one desires or perceives.

Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without you?.

You, that's a reference to the self. It's the reference in tribute to the endless beauty of the Akaal, to hope, to goodness, to the positive life force that pervades each nook and corner of our wodrous universe.
The 'me' is sadly 'tainted' and so I wonder how the Akaal creation would look without any taint of the stained me.

Just my interpretion of the darkness of the words. No more references to doom or poetry by me, I shall curtail my basic instincts.. lol.
 

Original

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Jan 10, 2011
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Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without you?.
....there was never a time when you were not and there will never be a time when you will not be; you've always been here? The you I'm referring to is the "self" or the soul element if you like, part of a whole and the whole is Akal Purakh [AP]. Rise above the three basic components of creation [states of consciousness] therefore and, enjoy the sublime bliss of the fourth state of being [meaning, chautha pad, ....ਚਉਥੇ ਪਦ ਕਉ ਜੋ ਨਰੁ ਚੀਨ੍ਹ੍ਹੈ ਤਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹ ਹੀ ਪਰਮ ਪਦੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥ p1123 SGGSJ].

Quite often, I quote that sizeable population spend much of their wakeful moments on pleasure pursuits, remainder on finding happy mediums and the few that gets passed the first two, albeit seldom, get to experience the bliss. I wonder who it's gonna be first among equals from the Poets' Corner.
 
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Pathfinder

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Sep 5, 2016
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Poets' Corner
Lol, now what is this reference to Veerji?
It sounds like a scary cult to me. I have no knowledge of the SGGS and so i use quotes from my limited understanding of poetry and career based reflections which I intend to curb seriously.

Quite often, I quote that sizeable population spend much of their wakeful moments on pleasure pursuits, remainder on finding happy mediums and the few that gets passed the first two, albeit seldom
You are generous, Original ji.. it's very, very seldom - if not extremely and so very rarely that folks like me experience 'the bliss'. Having felt the oceans cradle me in their laps for more than two decades, I see nature so powerfully. You feel the swell rock the cradle even when the sea is calmest. Therefore, I feel a connection to nature that's surreal and difficult to fathom for a balanced person. Nature a medium? Yes to me - forgive my weakness but I am guilty as charged.

I wonder who it's gonna be first among equals from the Poets' Corner.
First, last, does it matter?. As long as one is striving to be on the path through the Narrow gates even failure is bliss. I know I come across as a tortoise that is below the horizon way behind you because I truly am very distant on this path. On second thoughts - a tortoise is even
devoid of something I am not - frailty in abundance.

Rise above the three basic components of creation [states of consciousness] therefore and, enjoy the sublime bliss of the fourth state of being [meaning, chautha pad, ....ਚਉਥੇ ਪਦ ਕਉ ਜੋ ਨਰੁ ਚੀਨ੍ਹ੍ਹੈ ਤਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹ ਹੀ ਪਰਮ ਪਦੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥ p1123 SGGSJ].
True, it's so many folks on this forum that inspire unknowingly and you rank highly on this list of mine. I truly mean that Veerji.

WGJDK, WGJDF...
 

Original

Writer
SPNer
Jan 10, 2011
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Lol, now what is this reference to Veerji?
..succinct, more poetic than prose ! it's not so much the writer but the reader who's able to make that call. Having read some of the write-ups from yourself, Harry, RD1 and Seeker2013, it was an honour to concede to the maxim, "pen is mightier than the sword", how true and hence the recognition of the Poets' Corner.
It sounds like a scary cult to me
..perception, if you will so admit !
I have no knowledge of the SGGS and so i use quotes from my limited understanding of poetry and career based reflections which I intend to curb seriously.
..who need knowledge of SGGSJ, one need morally upright a disposition, all else follows ! Besides, it is karmyog [work] that liberates the spirit from the shackles of materialistic-mania.
if not extremely and so very rarely that folks like me experience 'the bliss'
..you've made it to SPN, think of the sizeable population [from a world population of 6.2 billion] that hasn't, consider yourself chosen therefore and stay tuned to the word [Waheguru].
First, last, does it matter?.
..no !
As long as one is striving to be on the path through the Narrow gates even failure is bliss.
....agree
I know I come across as a tortoise that is below the horizon way behind you because I truly am very distant on this path.
..universe has no up, down, side, back, front, etc. All is consciousness, Sikh doctrinal is to rise above the three and experience the fourth - god consciousness ! how and when that state is acquired or experienced alone the maker knows [Gur Prasad, meaning, by the grace of God].
True, it's so many folks on this forum that inspire unknowingly and you rank highly on this list of mine. I truly mean that Veerji.
..what I say or write is not my own but the word of god, mustn't it resonate with the truth that the Pathfinder truly is, has not Waheguru brought Pathfinder to be connected with the "shabad" ?
We're here because the soul is almost ready to become what it really is - non matter.

Thank you Sir & goodnight
 

Pathfinder

Writer
SPNer
Sep 5, 2016
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A good old freind dropped by yesterday and spent the evening with me. Somehow he kept advising me to 'live it up' and not suffer?? so early. I could suffer after 60. God would not mind he stated. I was in a 'aloofish' frame of mind and kept ignoring his endless jibes. He went on for an hour. 'Gurudwara is in the heart', 'these prabhat pheris are a way to show off your status (??), nothing else, etc.

I am a patient bull but I was supercool even by my own standards. He kept provoking me to get into a animated discussion while I steadfastly refused to step into his trap.

When he got tired he said that he felt sorry that an educated fool like me fell into the trap and failed to see sense and kept visiting the Gurudwara in vain.

I snapped suddenly. I politely asked him to ' design a perfect God' and describe him/her/it to me.

He was taken aback and he took a while before he began his non stop chattering for close to 10 minutes. He described his version of his 'perfectly designed God'. I truly felt blessed listening to him rattle off the qualities, attributes and virtues of the 'perfectly designed God'.

Once he had stopped I smiled. He seemed livid. I asked him to forgive me but I said I was expecting something original and not a cut, copy , paste job. He had just described a few virtues of the Guru Maharaj to me. Only he had stolen a few qualities unintenionally of Guru Nanak Dev Ji and a few from Guru Gobind Singh Ji. He must love all, he must be kind, compassionate, he must fight injustice etc.

Once he had described his version in further detail i was sure he was just adding in qualities of Guru Harkishen Ji and Guru Ramdass and the rest of the Nanak's.

He then went on to state that his 'Perfect God' was powerful, present everywhere, knew everything etc.

I told him that he he was describing the qualities and virtues of an already existing God- Akaal. He then began to argue that - 'No, this is my God'. I told him that he sounded dangerously foolish now.

He left shortly after- angry, fuming and upset. I went to bed relaxed and peaceful. He will be back again, we are like I said - good friends.

He showed me today of how pathetic and lost a man wrapped in worldy pursuits looks like. How his constant references to his suv'discovery', i-phone, his high end club membership, his contacts - if you need this I can speak to That guy, living the big-time etc

I just hope my freind realises his 'Perfect God' was always there, is always there, will always be there. That his peace of mind is not sold in branded or upmarket stores. Peace of mind, of the soul is within one where the Akaal resides.
 

RD1

Writer
SPNer
Sep 26, 2016
361
152
That his peace of mind is not sold in branded or upmarket stores. Peace of mind, of the soul is within one where the Akaal resides.
In our world of mass production, obsession with bigger and bigger profits, and genius marketing, people seem inclined to look more and more externally for self-validation. The true treasure within can elude us.
 

Original

Writer
SPNer
Jan 10, 2011
1,053
552
62
London UK
..look fellas, don't be surprised ! As consumer technology becomes ever more indespensable for day-to-day use, sizable population may choose to supplement their "biological credentials" with implants. The age of customisable persons will have come to dominate modern society and the contemplative human, a mere history channel event for the lonely hearts. Isn't Sikh doctrine to that end, sit still and know I'm God, meaning meditation ! silence is wisdom -

...more another time - goodnight !
 

Inderjeet Kaur

Writer
SPNer
Oct 13, 2011
869
1,763
Seattle, Washington, USA
This is an impressive thread and I am enjoying it immensely.

I once read somewhere that "if you knew for certain what God wanted you to do, you'd be happy doing it no matter what it was."

I am a woman of 64 years and 10 years ago I had a catastrophic stroke - and died twice. Two times in one night. Clearly I was revived, but while dead I visited some place, maybe heaven. An incredible place of peace and freedom and love.

When I was told that I had to go back, I made quite a fuss. I didn't want to return to this earth at all. "Are you going to force me to leave?" I asked.

"No, of course not, no one is ever forced, but you will choose to go back."

And when I understood that my work wasn't finished, I agreed to return. I began my ascent or descent back to earth, but then turned around to go back there. I was given a sweet smile and a firm, "Good-bye and Godspeed," and I felt myself moving toward earth again. At that moment, something crossed my mind and I asked the question I had never before thought of. "What is my work?"

The answer came in loud and clear. "SEWA." So the line, "I exist only to serve" is literally true in my case.

BTW, I bet I'm the only person you know who got kicked out of heaven twice IN ONE NIGHT.

Since returning, my life has been very difficult. I am legally 100% disabled and my health is deteriorating. I am barely able to walk around my apartment. I am in constant pain ranging from mild to severe, but there is no relief from pain.

Still, I remain in charhdi kala. I quietly and usually anonymously do my sewa. You'd be surprised how much sewa can be done with an Internet connection and a happy heart.

I can remain in charhdi kala for two reasons: I know I'm doing what my Creator wants me to do. And I'm a Sikh. Can't beat that!

[For the inevitable nay-sayer who will talk about the various theories of near-death experiences (NDEs), and say these experiences aren't real, I answer that one pretty miserable person died and a completely different person is living a joyful life today. That's real enough for me.]
 

Pathfinder

Writer
SPNer
Sep 5, 2016
72
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Still, I remain in charhdi kala. I quietly and usually anonymously do my sewa.
Spoken like a true Sikhni.

You are now on my 'inspire me' lists Kaur ji - Waheguru works in mysterious ways.

Your bouyancy is so uplifting.

You are tough - a no nonsense warrior princess. The perfect Khalsa the Guru Maharaj had envisioned. The KAUR.

Since returning, my life has been very difficult. I am legally 100% disabled and my health is deteriorating. I am barely able to walk around my apartment. I am in constant pain ranging from mild to severe, but there is no relief from pain.
I see a tough princess that makes me feel amazed at her strength. I see a person who can cure the spiritual disability of many like me.

Its the wealth of Sikhi that is growing despite your failing health which is why I see you as THE KAUR.

Despite the odds - the storm, you sail magnificently and that is what truly is chardi kala.

I am sure all the folks out here can say an Ardass to Waheguru each day and pray for strength at least for all our SPN family out here, - at the very least the ones we really care about and care for. I hope you will do it for me as I will for our own inspiring 'tough- cookie KAUR' that this 'little girl' is.

I can remain in charhdi kala for two reasons: I know I'm doing what my Creator wants me to do. And I'm a Sikh. Can't beat that
Lol, you make a perfect sailor girl. Love the optimism, clarity and confidence.

Just the lines that made my day and I'll honestly write and post them down
in white /red to chase my doubts away when I feel black or blue.

Beautiful, inspiring and so cutely put.

[For the inevitable nay-sayer who will talk about the various theories of near-death experiences (NDEs), and say these experiences aren't real, I answer that one pretty miserable person died and a completely different person is living a joyful life today. That's real enough for me.
It's not how hard you can fight but how hard you can get hit that matters. Kaur ji, you are a bubbly ocean of optimism and that is so refreshing and intoxicating.

Regarding NDE, nobody could have said or put it better.

Take good care of yourself and that's an order, lol. Seriously, it's not - if it sounds offensive - but still, please do.
 
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Sikhilove

Writer
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May 12, 2016
608
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Spoken like a true Sikhni.

You are now on my 'inspire me' lists Kaur ji - Waheguru works in mysterious ways.

Your bouyancy is so uplifting.

You are tough - a no nonsense warrior princess. The perfect Khalsa the Guru Maharaj had envisioned. The KAUR.



I see a tough princess that makes me feel amazed at her strength. I see a person who can cure the spiritual disability of many like me.

Its the wealth of Sikhi that is growing despite your failing health which is why I see you as THE KAUR.

Despite the odds - the storm, you sail magnificently and that is what truly is chardi kala.

I am sure all the folks out here can say an Ardass to Waheguru each day and pray for strength at least for all our SPN family out here, - at the very least the ones we really care about and care for. I hope you will do it for me as I will for our own inspiring 'tough- cookie KAUR' that this 'little girl' is.



Lol, you make a perfect sailor girl. Love the optimism, clarity and confidence.

Just the lines that made my day and I'll honestly write and post them down
in white /red to chase my doubts away when I feel black or blue.

Beautiful, inspiring and so cutely put.



It's not how hard you can fight but how hard you can get hit that matters. Kaur ji, you are a bubbly ocean of optimism and that is so refreshing and intoxicating.

Regarding NDE, nobody could have said or put it better.

Take good care of yourself and that's an order, lol. Seriously, it's not - if it sounds offensive - but still, please do.
This is an impressive thread and I am enjoying it immensely.

I once read somewhere that "if you knew for certain what God wanted you to do, you'd be happy doing it no matter what it was."

I am a woman of 64 years and 10 years ago I had a catastrophic stroke - and died twice. Two times in one night. Clearly I was revived, but while dead I visited some place, maybe heaven. An incredible place of peace and freedom and love.

When I was told that I had to go back, I made quite a fuss. I didn't want to return to this earth at all. "Are you going to force me to leave?" I asked.

"No, of course not, no one is ever forced, but you will choose to go back."

And when I understood that my work wasn't finished, I agreed to return. I began my ascent or descent back to earth, but then turned around to go back there. I was given a sweet smile and a firm, "Good-bye and Godspeed," and I felt myself moving toward earth again. At that moment, something crossed my mind and I asked the question I had never before thought of. "What is my work?"

The answer came in loud and clear. "SEWA." So the line, "I exist only to serve" is literally true in my case.

BTW, I bet I'm the only person you know who got kicked out of heaven twice IN ONE NIGHT.

Since returning, my life has been very difficult. I am legally 100% disabled and my health is deteriorating. I am barely able to walk around my apartment. I am in constant pain ranging from mild to severe, but there is no relief from pain.

Still, I remain in charhdi kala. I quietly and usually anonymously do my sewa. You'd be surprised how much sewa can be done with an Internet connection and a happy heart.

I can remain in charhdi kala for two reasons: I know I'm doing what my Creator wants me to do. And I'm a Sikh. Can't beat that!

[For the inevitable nay-sayer who will talk about the various theories of near-death experiences (NDEs), and say these experiences aren't real, I answer that one pretty miserable person died and a completely different person is living a joyful life today. That's real enough for me.]

Great post :) a Sikh eventually understands that their only purpose is to serve. This is real spirituality.

Learning, detaching and staying in samadhi is well and good, but to come and share it, to share Truth and what you've learned, is divine. It's a reflection and expression of the Love from which we were created.

As Guruji said, The Truth is High but higher still is Truthful Living. Living and serving Truth in Action is what will turn this age from the age of Kal to the age of Sat.
 

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Shabad Vichaar by SPN'ers

This is one of my favourite shabads. Very simple but truly packs a punch with its message. Unfortunately it is not widely known. As previously English literal meanings first, Rawel Singh's...

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