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The Sorrow Of Losing Something I Never Had

Seeker2013

Writer
SPNer
Aug 29, 2013
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It was early morning today . Dad and mom were going out to buy new footwear for mom . I didn't want to go but thought I might as well go with them to bring 2 new shirts for myself , after all a professional should have a bright, plain white shirt.
We went , we enjoyed, had eat-out at a restaurant with mom and dad, bought 2 new branded shirts worth Rupees 1800 each . Then felt I should have matching pagg with each . So bought those as well.
But still despite so much joy, I came back home anxious, worry-ridden and a hundred troubling questions racing inside my head

I wondered who will be there for me to eat with me at eat-outs when my parent have passed away ( in 5, 10 , 15 or 20 years maybe !) . With no siblings, I will be all alone .
And what about the crisp white shirt that makes a man look handsome . Despite wearing it, I am insecure and restless in my mind as society looks down and ridicule men like me as an 'not-men'(just because I happen to like other men and can't help it) .

What good are these eat-outs and these good clothes when they bring so much anxiety to mind because they are so temporary and fleeting. I feel so anxious.

where is the everlasting peace ?
 
Last edited:

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,769
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people change, things change, why worry about what is going to happen in 5-10-15 years when you may not be the same person.

I used to worry about being alone, and now I am possibly the loneliest I have ever been, but also the happiest, stop worrying, today is good, give thanks for that, otherwise you may find yourself never happy, you will always find something that will ruin it, which is an awful life, just be grateful for today
 

Seeker2013

Writer
SPNer
Aug 29, 2013
408
174
34
people change, things change, why worry about what is going to happen in 5-10-15 years when you may not be the same person.

I used to worry about being alone, and now I am possibly the loneliest I have ever been, but also the happiest, stop worrying, today is good, give thanks for that, otherwise you may find yourself never happy, you will always find something that will ruin it, which is an awful life, just be grateful for today

I might not be the same person, but considering how little I have changed (or so I think) in the last 5-10 yrs, I wonder
 

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,769
8,194
54
I might not be the same person, but considering how little I have changed (or so I think) in the last 5-10 yrs, I wonder

maybe you do not allow yourself to grow, maybe you do not push yourself, to see what is your potential, maybe the fear of failure dogs you, maybe it stops you learning and growing,

you will feel this way in another 5 or 10 years if you do not grow and learn, they call it maturity, it is a concept I am experimenting with
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
MERA MUJH MEIN KUCH NAHI KIRTAN & MEANINGS - on Youtube.
 

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