Temptations As A Teen

[Harvir007]

So I, as a Teenager growing up in the UK am exposed to a lot of things; Drugs, alcohol, sex and other such things. I consider myself...a disciplined person, I know not to stray towards the path of drinking obsessively despite peer pressure from many of my friends, drugs are also becoming a major issue for my age group, I know many people that smoke weed or deal drugs, earning them some sort of notoriety. One question to ask is despite them knowing the harm these chemicals can do, why do they still take them? I have many Sikh 'friends' that drink and smoke weed, why? Guru says not to distance yourself from reality, but in taking these substances, they contradict the core beliefs of their supposed 'faith'. What are your thoughts on today's Sikhi youth?

 

[Navdeep88]

Re: Temptations as a Teen...

Harvir007 Ji,

I think there is a LOT of confusion, especially when its merging the west you are exposed to and the east you have inherited. And I think this is more prevalent in young Sikh males b/c they are more action oriented.

I don't know if you have heard of "Humble the Poet", "Sikh Knowledge" etc., they're Canadian Sikh rappers. They are the perfect example for this. They have knowledge of what they have grown up with, and seek to hold on to it, but there are compromises made. They often talk about all of the above you mentioned: sex, porn, drinking etc. in their blogs/songs and all the while holding onto a name like "Sikh Knowledge". For the sake of being "cool" they are making some grave compromises.

HOWEVER, we are each responsible for our own lives! Although I'm a girl, when I was 17 I didn't give care too much about what anybody thought. I marched to the beat of my own drum. Most of the time I had my nose stuck in a Jane Austen novel, I was editor of the yearbook, had good grades, and honestly, looking back, I could not be more proud that I was such a dedicated NERD!!! And I didn't steer too far from my faith, had no reason to. Yes there were house parties etc happening all around me, girls getting pregnant etc., and boys, but idk, i was happy. Not being cool in high school is one of the best things that can happen to you, u get plenty of time to build character! lol

There is no need to make life too complicated at 17, just need to stay focused. Cheap thrills and compromises with your FAITH will wear a person down. There is no excuse for doing what you (as an INDIVIDUAL) know is wrong. Others can justify it for you, even your own brain can try but the truth of what a person already knows will always rise to the surface.

And trust me, the guys who are smoking weed now, those things will weigh them down quickly, they stop being fun. And eventually the only people who will be there to acknowledge their notoreity will be others like them, the sangat they chose... do you wanna stick around with this sangat? Later, the opportunities they could have pursued to build their lives will be more distant and harder to get to. Most "cool" things, brew weakness not strength...thats why they're so easily accessible.

Just my take. hope it was helpful!

 

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

Re: Temptations as a Teen...

I think there are 4 basic reasons people start using drugs:

1. They are unhappy
2. They are curious
3. Peer pressure
4. They are medically prescribed

The first three take strength and determination to avoid. They all concern situations that can be overcome,m albeit with a great deal of work.

The fourth is tricky. Many people are getting addicted to prescription drugs now. I myself need to take a narcotic medicine if I am going to walk more than just around the house. I'm one of those blessed people who hates being stoned. I take only when absolutely necessary. Even my doctor urges me that there is no reason I need suffer so much, but I like my head to be clear. Prayer is difficult and simran impossible for me while on drugs. Even the bit of caffeine in coffee gets me off balance. (Most people, I know, can handle coffee. I can only drink decaf.)

Why people keep using drugs is more complicated. Perhaps I'll get into that another time.

I urge you to stay away from people doing drugs as much as possible. Not only will you be tempted, but some of them can get into your system through the air. This is especially true - obviously - if anything is being smoked. We know now - we Sikhs have always known and the rest of the world is finally catching up with us - that second-hand cigarette smoke is deadly. Be kind to yourself, just avoid it. That is my suggestion.

 

[Ishna]

Re: Temptations as a Teen...

If I may add a fifth point:

5. Parental example

If mum and/or dad smoke, drink, do drugs, kids see that and identify it as acceptable.

 

[aristotle]

Re: Temptations as a Teen...

Actually, I'm an 18 yr old living in India, and being a college-going student I too am exposed to all these things you mentioned. It is a misconception that east is more disciplined than the west or whatever, but the reality is that the temptations are the same, the problems almost identical for the teens anywhere they live. As you mentioned, it is a pity that some 'Sikhs' are into the habit of taking drugs etc.
I have seen Muslims saying 'This thing is forbidden in our mazhab(faith).', and it is high time that we people, who prefer to call ourselves Sikhs start asserting, 'Tobacco or other intoxicants in any form are forbidden in Sikhi, please don't force me to do this thing.'
I hope it helps!!

 

[Harry Haller]

Re: Temptations as a Teen...

So I, as a Teenager growing up in the UK am exposed to a lot of things; Drugs, alcohol, sex and other such things. I consider myself...a disciplined person, I know not to stray towards the path of drinking obsessively despite peer pressure from many of my friends, drugs are also becoming a major issue for my age group, I know many people that smoke weed or deal drugs, earning them some sort of notoriety. One question to ask is despite them knowing the harm these chemicals can do, why do they still take them? I have many Sikh 'friends' that drink and smoke weed, why? Guru says not to distance yourself from reality, but in taking these substances, they contradict the core beliefs of their supposed 'faith'. What are your thoughts on today's Sikhi youth?

Harvirji,

Look around you, take a good look, what you see is not teenage life, it is LIFE, you seem balanced and intelligent, asking the right questions, disciplined.

The same people that you watch dealing and taking drugs, they are cool, they have money, girls, FUN!. It can be very difficult for young sikh boys to watch all this going and not want to be part of it, its naughty dangerous, exciting, some are blessed not to be attracted to this scene, like my mum and dad, no interest in it whatsoever, dad said to me once, he never had a problem with all that stuff, as he had no interest in it.

The issue is not now, its the seeds you sow for the future. Ask yourself what you want out of life, a life of casual sex or marriage and a bond with a life partner, STD's or healthy body parts, freedom or prison, bankruptcy or financial comfort, to love, or to hate.

People take drugs for many reasons, mostly to escape from the present, the odd joint is probably not going to kill you, nor is the odd drink, the danger at your age is addiction, and the fact that your brain is still growing, so drugs and drink at this stage in your life is going to have a massive exponential effect on the rest on your life, similarly, abstinence from such will have a massive positive effect on your life, everything you do has a consequence, from being polite and loving to your parents and family, to being honest with others and yourself, study, get a good job, be a good sikh

Now let me tell you what happens to all these cool people, and what could happen to you.

Yes, I went to one of those awful school reunions.Amazingly everyone was pretty much the same, but those that sacrificed learning, wisdom and discipline for fun/sex/drugs were still hooked on the same ride, the guy that was always borrowing dinner money to play fruit machines, yep, he had lost everything down the casinos, the guy who was the gang leader ended up in rehab,and became a community mentor for young people, the nerd was an optician with a beautiful wife, the guy who sniffed glue was dead, the one who stole school stuff was in prison,

Another reason that people take drugs that they know are bad is simply because they are lazy. why go to all the trouble of working hard, of finding and nurturing the god within, of knowing what the truth is, to find some sort of comfort in life, to find your place in life, when you can light a joint, and just not care anymore, I have lost count of the people I have had conversations with stoned, who think they are stating huge wisdom, and they probably are, but you need to be as stoned as them to understand it. Wisdom and understanding takes hard work, living is hard work! , its easier to lie in bed with your thoughts in a drugged up haze then it is to live, fear is also there, some people fear life, fear failure, fear loss, rather than try and deal with attachment, it is easier to accept failure and say to yourself, this is all I am, I may as well get on with my lot, rather than try and improve.

Interestingly the SRM states that you should be very careful of the company you keep, particularly smokers!

These people that are cool now, will reach a peak of coolness before they slide away into nobodies, coolness is a fickle game, the only validation you need comes from within, and from being true, but you dont sound like your doing too bad

good luck