Also I wonder what effect something like
chardi kala has had on your mental health, in the long run over your life time and also during specific experiences. Has it inoculated you against mental illness, so to speak, or relieved the symptoms of an emotional struggle in any way?
If you were to ask my wife how she finds living with me, she would probably reply that if she knew who she was going to wake up with, it would be helpful. However, I do not see the state of my brain as an illness, or a health problem. Many artists, in many fields have had similar problems, and created the most beautiful art that has been born out of their suffering, I feel honoured to be associated with such people.
Sure you have good days, and bad days, the goal is to have more good days than bad days, today for instance is a bad day..
So how does Sikhism help? Well the concept of Chardi Kala is a huge help, I do not pray, or ask for help, meditate or listen to Kirtan, so all I am left with is just Chardi Kala. What this means on a basic level, is to keep busy, to use common sense to differentiate between what are valid thoughts, and what are unvalid thoughts, in the past, most bad days can be made worse by giving weight to unvalid thoughts, rather than seeing which thought passes the Chardi Kala test. If it does not pass the CK test, then it is a pointless time wasting thought, which will do nothing other than drag you down if you allow it. Yes, some of us also have more than two hearts in our breast, but in reality, between the two extremes of personality we may possess, lies a million options, it is our choice, who we wish to be, sometimes it can be easy to forget we have a choice, sometimes its easier to follow a script because thats what we do.
In my mind at present are a hundred thoughts, all quite bonkers, but none pass the CK test, so they mill around, clogging up my head, and I will keep working till I am tired, and then I will go home and sleep. Tommorow is another day, and although I may sink lower than some, although I have sunk so low as to hit rock bottom, I also know I have the capacity, by the same token to wake up on a snowy winter day and feel happiness and good thoughts running through me like a rocket through the sky, on those days, I am insufferably happy, like a bouncing ball, on those days I taste happiness at its highest peak, all thoughts are in Chardi Kala.
I also find that the more I am in connection, the more I respect the Gurmukh way, rather than the manmukh way, the more days I am happy. Today is the end product of 3 or 4 days without any connection, without respect for Hukam, the shop is a mess, I cannot find anything, my desk is awash with chocolate wrappers and energy drink cans,
Depression can be hugely indulgent, it embraces the negative within you, gives it a voice, a personality, I guess that is why Chardi Kala is so important, I would go as far as to say that depression can be the biggest thief of all.