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Sikh Wife

Dec 31, 2016
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Hi Team,

I am a Hindu by birth but dont really care about religion as a concept. My wife is pretty religious. How can i make her feel more comfortable about her faith?

Thanks in advance
Cheers
 

Harkiran Kaur

Leader

Writer
SPNer
Jul 21, 2012
1,393
1,907
Hi Team,

I am a Hindu by birth but dont really care about religion as a concept. My wife is pretty religious. How can i make her feel more comfortable about her faith?

Thanks in advance
Cheers
There are a few differences in belief from Hindu to Sikh regarding a woman's role in marriage. You can help her most by not trying to conform her to roles from your own background and upbringing like for example. Laws of Manu say women can never be independent and must always be under control of a male, to the point it says a husband is 'God' to his wife. It says a woman's role in life (her dharam) is to 'serve' her husband and many Hindu wives embrace that role because they see it as a step in their spiritual progress (serve the husband this life in hopes of being reborn a male in the next).
But for Sikhs who see men and women as equals it would actually be degrading to expect her to serve you while you never serve her in return. So please don't do anything which might suggest a hierarchy in marriage with you at the top and her beneath you expected to serve and be obedient to you. She will be most happy if you respect her as your equal and make decisions together, help with housework, don't make demands of her, help her make dinner etc. Especially if you both work. If you have a baby together then don't be afraid to interact with the baby like including changing diapers etc.
As far as her faith please encourage her to go to the gurdwara and give her time each day to do her nitnem if she does nitnem path. Encourage her to celebrate gurpurabs and special occasions for Sikhs. You don't have to be Sikh yourself to help with langar at the gurdwara sometime which shows your support of seeing everyone as equals and helping others. In fact the idea of equality is one of the biggest ideas in Sikhism.
But in the end she also married you knowing you were not Sikh so she must also be supportive of your beliefs as well. So biggest thing is just compromise!!! If both spouses always put each other first then there will never be any problem!
 

sukhsingh

Writer
SPNer
Aug 14, 2012
739
213
43
UK
There are a few differences in belief from Hindu to Sikh regarding a woman's role in marriage. You can help her most by not trying to conform her to roles from your own background and upbringing like for example. Laws of Manu say women can never be independent and must always be under control of a male, to the point it says a husband is 'God' to his wife. It says a woman's role in life (her dharam) is to 'serve' her husband and many Hindu wives embrace that role because they see it as a step in their spiritual progress (serve the husband this life in hopes of being reborn a male in the next).
But for Sikhs who see men and women as equals it would actually be degrading to expect her to serve you while you never serve her in return. So please don't do anything which might suggest a hierarchy in marriage with you at the top and her beneath you expected to serve and be obedient to you. She will be most happy if you respect her as your equal and make decisions together, help with housework, don't make demands of her, help her make dinner etc. Especially if you both work. If you have a baby together then don't be afraid to interact with the baby like including changing diapers etc.
As far as her faith please encourage her to go to the gurdwara and give her time each day to do her nitnem if she does nitnem path. Encourage her to celebrate gurpurabs and special occasions for Sikhs. You don't have to be Sikh yourself to help with langar at the gurdwara sometime which shows your support of seeing everyone as equals and helping others. In fact the idea of equality is one of the biggest ideas in Sikhism.
But in the end she also married you knowing you were not Sikh so she must also be supportive of your beliefs as well. So biggest thing is just compromise!!! If both spouses always put each other first then there will never be any problem!
Not all 'hindus' accept the common reading of laws of manu
 
Dec 31, 2016
2
0
There are a few differences in belief from Hindu to Sikh regarding a woman's role in marriage. You can help her most by not trying to conform her to roles from your own background and upbringing like for example. Laws of Manu say women can never be independent and must always be under control of a male, to the point it says a husband is 'God' to his wife. It says a woman's role in life (her dharam) is to 'serve' her husband and many Hindu wives embrace that role because they see it as a step in their spiritual progress (serve the husband this life in hopes of being reborn a male in the next).
But for Sikhs who see men and women as equals it would actually be degrading to expect her to serve you while you never serve her in return. So please don't do anything which might suggest a hierarchy in marriage with you at the top and her beneath you expected to serve and be obedient to you. She will be most happy if you respect her as your equal and make decisions together, help with housework, don't make demands of her, help her make dinner etc. Especially if you both work. If you have a baby together then don't be afraid to interact with the baby like including changing diapers etc.
As far as her faith please encourage her to go to the gurdwara and give her time each day to do her nitnem if she does nitnem path. Encourage her to celebrate gurpurabs and special occasions for Sikhs. You don't have to be Sikh yourself to help with langar at the gurdwara sometime which shows your support of seeing everyone as equals and helping others. In fact the idea of equality is one of the biggest ideas in Sikhism.
But in the end she also married you knowing you were not Sikh so she must also be supportive of your beliefs as well. So biggest thing is just compromise!!! If both spouses always put each other first then there will never be any problem!
Thanks for the rwply
There are a few differences in belief from Hindu to Sikh regarding a woman's role in marriage. You can help her most by not trying to conform her to roles from your own background and upbringing like for example. Laws of Manu say women can never be independent and must always be under control of a male, to the point it says a husband is 'God' to his wife. It says a woman's role in life (her dharam) is to 'serve' her husband and many Hindu wives embrace that role because they see it as a step in their spiritual progress (serve the husband this life in hopes of being reborn a male in the next).
But for Sikhs who see men and women as equals it would actually be degrading to expect her to serve you while you never serve her in return. So please don't do anything which might suggest a hierarchy in marriage with you at the top and her beneath you expected to serve and be obedient to you. She will be most happy if you respect her as your equal and make decisions together, help with housework, don't make demands of her, help her make dinner etc. Especially if you both work. If you have a baby together then don't be afraid to interact with the baby like including changing diapers etc.
As far as her faith please encourage her to go to the gurdwara and give her time each day to do her nitnem if she does nitnem path. Encourage her to celebrate gurpurabs and special occasions for Sikhs. You don't have to be Sikh yourself to help with langar at the gurdwara sometime which shows your support of seeing everyone as equals and helping others. In fact the idea of equality is one of the biggest ideas in Sikhism.
But in the end she also married you knowing you were not Sikh so she must also be supportive of your beliefs as well. So biggest thing is just compromise!!! If both spouses always put each other first then there will never be any problem!
Thanks for the reply. I am well aware of inequality in our society. As i was brought up in non-religious environment all those things are already taken care off. She does her Path daily but don't often go to gurudwara, same when she was not married to me. She is one of most pure persons i'v met. So i dont see any point in encouraging her to do anything regarding her religion. My question was how to make a sikh women- as she is culturally different from me - comfortable or even happy. :)
 

dalvindersingh grewal

Writer
Historian
SPNer
Jan 3, 2010
526
355
74
Hi Team,

I am a Hindu by birth but dont really care about religion as a concept. My wife is pretty religious. How can i make her feel more comfortable about her faith?

Thanks in advance
Cheers
Just don't interfere or comment. Let her do the way she is doing. Soon will you see that everything is settled and normal.
 

Tejwant Singh

Mentor
Writer
SPNer
Jun 30, 2004
5,029
7,158
Henderson, NV.
Hi Team,

I am a Hindu by birth but dont really care about religion as a concept. My wife is pretty religious. How can i make her feel more comfortable about her faith?

Thanks in advance
Cheers
Guru Fateh Contenderabhi,

Welcome to SPN.

When you say,"I am a Hindu by birth but dont really care about religion as a concept", what do you mean by that? What concept do you care about? Please elaborate.

Secondly, faith is a journey of the individual. No one can do anything but the deity/person your wife has the blind faith in. Please ponder on the following questions:

1. Does her belief a help or a hindrance in your relationship with her?
2. Does believing in someone/something take her to the path of contentment which would enhance your relationship with her?
3. How are you planning on raising your kids? Under which umbrella?
4.Have you discussed about your views about her religion with yours and its effects on your growth together?

These are some of many questions you should ask yourself and discuss with her.

If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to ask us.

Thanks
 

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