Should A Divorced Couple Perform Laava Phere | Sikh Philosophy Network
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Should A Divorced Couple Perform Laava Phere

tosh

Tarlochan Singh
SPNer
Jan 15, 2009
17
2
Rochester MN
Should a divorced couple who want to perform a second marriage have laavan phere?
Anyone care to share any guidelines?
Regards.
 
Some Sikh elders have commented that laavan can be recited but phere should not. To some extent it makes sense. I am hoping to explore this topic a little. View points will be most welcome.
 

Ishna

Enthusiast
Writer
SPNer
May 9, 2006
3,246
5,184
Please pardon my ignorance. What is 'phere'? Thanks
 

Ishna

Enthusiast
Writer
SPNer
May 9, 2006
3,246
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Thank you Aman ji.

@tosh , can you tell us what rationale has been given, please?
 

chazSingh

Writer
SPNer
Feb 20, 2012
1,644
1,639
Should a divorced couple who want to perform a second marriage have laavan phere?
Anyone care to share any guidelines?
Regards.
 
Some Sikh elders have commented that laavan can be recited but phere should not. To some extent it makes sense. I am hoping to explore this topic a little. View points will be most welcome.
I see it this way....

All is hukam right? Bahaar Hukam na Koee....

so a happy long marriage, or a short lived marriage ending in Divorce...
so if all is Hukam then what is right and what is wrong...we have time spans for all our interactions in life...good bad or ugly...

What's important is where we are 'now' and where we can 'Go'....
Can a divorced person get remarried and redo Laavan and still move closer to God regadless of past...Gurbani says people can realize in an instance...so laavan phere should never be in question...

if the outside would has any objection, i would tell a divorced person to say their Laavan in heart and make effort to live them from this moment onwards....thats all that matters, internal pilgrimage..
 

tosh

Tarlochan Singh
SPNer
Jan 15, 2009
17
2
Rochester MN
Four hymns from the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji are read to solemnize the Anand Kaaraj (Sikh marriage).
In these hymns, Guru RaamDaas Ji, the fourth Sikh Guru, has described the marriage of the individual soul with the Eternal Soul. These four hymns mention four stages in the progression of love between spouses and also of human souls towards union with the Supreme Soul, Vaheguru.

All the witnesses to the Anand Kaaraj (ceremony of bliss) are requested to become Sikhs and join the eternal Sikh brotherhood. So in fulfilling our obligation as part of the Anand Kaaraj we invite the bride and groom, and the witnesses to come under the protection of the Eternal, All-powerful Naam of Akal.

If a couple is performing Anand Kaaraj ceremony multiple times then it seems the ceremony is a negotiable contract one is making with Eternal Soul ? I'll do it if it pleases me, irrespective of the reverence of the Anand Kaaraj ceremony.
 

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,762
8,156
50
If a couple is performing Anand Kaaraj ceremony multiple times then it seems the ceremony is a negotiable contract one is making with Eternal Soul ? I'll do it if it pleases me, irrespective of the reverence of the Anand Kaaraj ceremony.
untrue, the contract is actually a three way contract between 2 souls and an eternal one, if the relationship between the two souls closes down, the contract is still valid between the individual and the eternal, to my thoughts anyway
 

notanotherloginplease

Writer
SPNer
Apr 14, 2006
95
55
Laavan/phere is just a ceremony. Its like a play or metaphor and Bani recited at that time still stands for the relation between a soul and God and not between husband and wife(but its good to implement that in married life too ;)).

If after divorce you feel happy or it makes the families happy to do laavan/phere, then there is nothing wrong in it.

These ceremonies are ceremonies. Spiritual progress and growth is independent of all these so is Gurbani. I dont think if It should matter much to any sikh.
 

notanotherloginplease

Writer
SPNer
Apr 14, 2006
95
55
If a couple is performing Anand Kaaraj ceremony multiple times then it seems the ceremony is a negotiable contract one is making with Eternal Soul ? I'll do it if it pleases me, irrespective of the reverence of the Anand Kaaraj ceremony.
No contract was made during anand kaaraj with the eternal soul. Its all in the mind, if there is a contract then do you think that eternal soul will let someone break it?
 

lionprinceuk

(previously Lion_Prince_Jatinder)
SPNer
Jun 29, 2004
159
38
west london
it doesn't matter if one does the phere or not, it's the bani of Laavan which is more important.

There are instances for Anand Karaj where couples sat down for the whole reading of bani.
 

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