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Self Confidence About The Way I Look And Feel

Avneett

SPNer
Sep 22, 2018
2
0
17
Hi everyone,
I am a Sikh and I was born in a Western country, my dad came here the hard way and my dad is a non turban man. I go to school here, and all the Sikh girls cut there hair and shave their legs. Looking at them I always get that feeling of want, I want to look good and look socially acceptable to other people like they do! But I am not allowed to cut my hair or shave any parts of my body. I on the other hand have a strong connection with our religion, i'm proud and yet I feel ashamed....

I'm suffering from many self-esteem problems, and I keep thinking of the way the Sikh girls look at my legs... What do I do?
 

gjsingh

SPNer
Oct 29, 2013
35
14
It is better to stand out by being true to yourself than to to blend in to the crowd by sinking to the lowest common denominator. You ask the question which you have yourself answered: "I on the other hand have a strong connection with our religion" ... What is the basis of that strong connection? Are you willing to sever that for the praise of the crowd? What choice will pay the most dividends?

You should not feel ashamed at all for asking these questions. At your age it is totally natural to be questioning these kinds of things, learning to negotiate social situations, and finding out who you truly are (as opposed to what your parents, or your peers think you should be.)
 

Sikhilove1

Writer
SPNer
Aug 14, 2019
31
5
32
Hi everyone,
I am a Sikh and I was born in a Western country, my dad came here the hard way and my dad is a non turban man. I go to school here, and all the Sikh girls cut there hair and shave their legs. Looking at them I always get that feeling of want, I want to look good and look socially acceptable to other people like they do! But I am not allowed to cut my hair or shave any parts of my body. I on the other hand have a strong connection with our religion, i'm proud and yet I feel ashamed....

I'm suffering from many self-esteem problems, and I keep thinking of the way the Sikh girls look at my legs... What do I do?
You decide what you want.

Wearing a patina and keeping your hair is not a prerequisite for living the Truth. Truth has existed for all of time and Bhagats have practiced it for many ages.

External appearance means nothing, the internal is just as important. If you can keep yourself internally pure, that is the main thing.
 

Loveisthereason

Writer
SPNer
Apr 7, 2019
58
3
39
Do what makes you happy. The SIKHI swaroop is not popularised in western media until it is there will always be an inner anguish for youngsters. Opinion making power for SIKHI swaroop is also missing from western millieu. You will find people who will accept you and reject you in either form, what matters is you accepting yourself and not feeling crappy after any decision you make. Your Guru loves you unconditionally.

Times were different during the 19th century, there is a historical record of when Sikhs conquered the Dehli durbar. At that time Sikh Women were among the Khalsa army present in the Durbar. The Muslim women at that time remarked to the Singhnis, how come you are allowed to ride on horseback, bear arm's and participate in temporal affairs, we are not allowed to leave the harem. The Sikh women humbly answered that they formed the body of the Guru panth, and that they were sovereign people. The Muslim women remarked that the women of this panth have the greatest honour.

Todays reality is different, honour is not understood or prized, it is seen as restrictive due mainly for aesthetic reasons.
 

gjsingh

SPNer
Oct 29, 2013
35
14
This may be a hard truth but modern feminine ideals in the West are intrinsically anti-woman. Take the outfit of a modern young woman: short dress, shaved body hair, pancake make-up, high heels. What subtle physiological and psychological cues are being broadcast with this? High heels create an uncomfortable posture that accentuates the buttocks, signaling sexual availability as does the skimpy outfit and heavy makeup. Shaving off natural hair evokes pre-pubescent and adolescent bodies, evoking the time honored tradition of young girls as mere objects of conquest by much older men. The patriarchy of Islam, Hinduism and traditional Punjabi culture is a dream compared to this.
 

Sikhilove1

Writer
SPNer
Aug 14, 2019
31
5
32
This may be a hard truth but modern feminine ideals in the West are intrinsically anti-woman. Take the outfit of a modern young woman: short dress, shaved body hair, pancake make-up, high heels. What subtle physiological and psychological cues are being broadcast with this? High heels create an uncomfortable posture that accentuates the buttocks, signaling sexual availability as does the skimpy outfit and heavy makeup. Shaving off natural hair evokes pre-pubescent and adolescent bodies, evoking the time honored tradition of young girls as mere objects of conquest by much older men. The patriarchy of Islam, Hinduism and traditional Punjabi culture is a dream compared to this.
Dressing nicely, showering, makeup etc can indicate a person who cares about and looks after themselves.

In Islamic countries, part of the reason that women cover up is so that men will not look at them lustfully. That’s wrong, why should women cover up for this reason.

Women should be free to choose to dress how they want, it’s the internal that matters not the external. Some women love fashion and follow it to a t. It’s not wrong.
 

gjsingh

SPNer
Oct 29, 2013
35
14
I don't believe in free will, so I don't see any necessary contradiction between your statement and mine.
 

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