Problem, Your Thoughts Are Welcome

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
Writer
SPNer
Dec 21, 2010
3,380
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I might be repeating someone's suggestions but have you tried making a pros and cons list? .......

Hope that helped, Sorry for just repeating things as I now realize I have done
Stay in Chardi Kala, Sian Bhain ji and yourself inspire me.
Sukrit Kaur
Sukritkaur chhoti/younger Bhain/sister ji, are you really 16 years old? What you plan to become as an adult in life? You are simply incredible intellect and I wish you nothing but the best of life and a great name that you will be one day wahmundawahmundawahmunda.

Sat Sri Akal mundahug
 

sukritkaur

SPNer
Dec 19, 2011
60
109
Brampton, Ontario, Canada
Ambarsaria veer ji you once again made my day.:grinningkudi:
Yes, I am in fact sixteen, I'm turning 17 in 16 days but who's counting? I put my age up so I could talk to other teenage Sikhs as well as everyone else. People in my school couldn't care less about Sikhism, my Punjabi friend went into shock when I told her I was planning on taking Amrit with Gurkirpa and tying a turban. I have very few Amritdhari school friends, the rest of them don't want anything to do with me. To answer the question I have no idea what I want to do with my life among other things these were tsome I was considering/or still am: Pediatrician, Veterinarian, Human Rights lawyer, Government linguist, Sustainable Farmer. So, I'm pretty much all over the place. Thanks for the praise but I am undeserving I have neglected school this semester, on account of my laziness (If it was possible to do a P.H.d in procrastination I would have it). I'm currently trying to get my act together since my teachers are tired of me. So just wanted to clarify, I'm a regular, if not, below-standard teenager. Thanks for the praise though, I take all of it and will work towards being a better person.
P.S. I shared your Boot Polishan song with all my friends, they love it!
PPS Sorry Sian Ji and Harry Ji for infesting your thread with nonsensical things.. I have an annoying overspeaking habit.
 

Sian Haller

SPNer
Dec 5, 2011
16
39
Essex, UK
I might be repeating someone's suggestions but have you tried making a pros and cons list? Make the list together because that way it eliminates any bias (although I doubt there is any). You could help this person in other ways that doesn't necessarily mean the person moving into your home. How much do you know about her being made homeless, is it because he/she can't pay rent, but I'm assuming the person still has a job since she's Sian Bhain Ji's associate. Try and figure out and if possible, ask this person what he/she is most struggling with and help address this issue. Like Ishna Ji suggested the person could live with their parents for a while because despite the reasons, parents never deny their children anything or you could help find alternative/emergency housing that the government provides. Recently my mother's colleague had a relative who passed on and could not afford to finance the funeral and other costs. The whole staff in the unit mobilized and each gave as much as they could afford to. But this was something they willingly did upon hearing about it. I think Sian Bhain ji or this person themselves can share this with the office and everyone can contribute as much as they are willing to. If this person does not want their situation to be known of then this might be a problem. I could suggest more things but I'm afraid they may well be useless. Is it possible to get more information about the nature of this problem? If that is all you have been told and this person refuses to share more, there isn't enough to base a decision on sadly.

It is ideal if we can help everyone but the reality of the matter is that is not always possible. Being pragmatic and trying to reach a compromise between short term assistance and spoon- feeding is key,
Two things come to mind in his situation which might help: Charity begins at home: Sir Thomas Browne. It is a disservice to everyone involved if coming to the aid of someone puts you in need of something. I believe that defeats the purpose of this helping hand, in my humble opinion.

Another thing that relates is something I was taught during primary school in India: "God helps those who help themselves." I know this person is not actively seeking for your assistance but I genuinely believe that if this person tries hard enough, they will find that in good time, a solution will be in reach. However, if it just so happens that they have exhausted all means to tackle this situation then personally I would step in.

Hope that helped, Sorry for just repeating things as I now realize I have done
Stay in Chardi Kala, Sian Bhain ji and yourself inspire me.
Sukrit Kaur

Sukrit Bhainji,

I think it is wonderful that you write and contribute on this site, and I thank you deeply for your contribution.The lady concerned has been made homeless by a relationship ending and has no family living locally.She is staying with another nurse that she knows better, but we are all trying to be supportive emotionally, she is saving up for a deposit and should be fine. In this instance the assistance was more emotional than financial, I do not see an unused room being used as a financial burden, and we are just lucky that we have those resources to offer.

As you have said, it is vitally important not to take away someones independence, but try and offer as much support to get through the difficult times.

Your thinking is extremely enlightened for someone so young.

Bhainji, I believe you have a strong moral compass which will always point you to the right course of action if you allow it, and trust in it
 

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
Writer
SPNer
Dec 21, 2010
3,380
5,688
Ambarsaria veer ji you once again made my day.:grinningkudi:
I was planning on taking Amrit with Gurkirpa and tying a turban.
Take your time for this. There is value to let things from inside out rather than outside in. Now procrastination is not good and school stuff is very important indeed. Don't cherish alienation but don't have to do things (bad or other) that you don't like. Never get teachers upset or not be happy with you. Learning becomes less if you do that.

Enjoy these years they never come back.

Sat Sri Akal.
 

Pablo

SPNer
Aug 19, 2011
9
9
44
Harry Haller Ji,

You mentioned "The question is, do we help everyone willy nilly, and at what cost to ourselves, do we cancel a holiday, or a car, for the needy around us? Do we live in some reasonable comfort and help the needy, or do we live among the needy? Just how far do you go?"

The answer may not lie with Sikhi, or through searching any religious text for an answer. Personally I think that we should be intelligent enough to look at a situation and use our common sense with regards to what we can do for others, what our resources are and just how our help would benefit those in need. As you say, help sometimes can cause more problems. There would be too many situations for the Granth to cover when seeking reference - its not an exhaustive list of situations and solutions.Which brings me back to my original point with regards to one's own common sense - and awareness of their unique situation and awareness of the individual in need.

You need to speak to Sianji, you need to speak to the individual and you need to assess your own resources. Translating a hymn or verse or teaching and then offering your perspective for debate isnt going to help you or the individual in need.

You also said "The answer lies in the squidgy thing between our ears, we were not meant to be puppets"

I'm not one for referencing texts or wise men but I gather this forum thinks a lot can be learnt from references (and not as previously stated, one's own common sense) so I hope this assists. The 2nd Century Greek philosopher Peht Schopbo Ees said :

"You dress me up, I'm your puppet
You buy me things, I love it
You bring me food, I need it
You give me love, I feed it"

I take from this that the more help or love is offered, the more it is taken and relied upon. Do you want to be relied upon by this individual? Maybe you can help in such a way so that the homeles person is happier and your (natural and reasonable) desire for satisfaction through the assistance of another is also fulfiled?
 

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,769
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Pabloji,

I am very happy to see your post, as you are my brother, and your opinion is of huge value to me.

Your post has once again, as it always does, given me much food for thought, I think you are correct, there is always a huge temptation to stop thinking and rely solely on literal translations or interpretations to study, when in fact We should be engaging our brains and trusting in our inner moral compass, which is already tuned into a wonderful source of wisdom and information.

So why do I study, why do I translate, why do I bother, you call it a need to be validated, you wonder why I need an external medium, be it sangat, forum, or Creator, to say there there, do this. The answer I think lies in sorting out the pure from the base, especially in thinking, We are all different, my dear wife has only the purest of intentions, She feels the pain in others, and also feels the joy in others, I am not sure whether this is a curse or a blessing, but that is what drives her, be it a snail, or a human. I am not made in the same way, as you know, I have lived selfishly, for my own needs, and now, I have reached boredom with self, I help people because it is the right thing to do, not because I feel pain or joy, although I feel pity at times, there just has to be more to life than self pleasure in the most basest of acts, you already know this, you already find pleasure in simple things, I am learning to do this, and that is why I study, and I translate, because what you already know, and what Sian already knows, I do not, and to that end, I find it helpful in achieving the balance that you and Sian already enjoy and were born with. I leave you with a quote from Jiham Karr, the persian poet who advocated not the third eye, but the naked eye

Come inside into the naked eye
Only Mirrors Lie
Through the needles eye
Come into the naked eye
 

sukritkaur

SPNer
Dec 19, 2011
60
109
Brampton, Ontario, Canada
Glad it worked out Sian Bhain Ji! Keep providing your emotional support as I'm sure you will. We need more people like you Bhain Ji. You have now been added to my list of: Why I love the Sikh Philosophy network. And thanks for the praise but I think it should all be transferred to my parents, without them who knows what would've happened to me.

P.S. I think your name is really unique, I've never seen it before. Do you know the meaning of it? It sounds really cool!

Peace and love from Brampton, Canada
Sukrit Kaur
 

Sian Haller

SPNer
Dec 5, 2011
16
39
Essex, UK
Sukrit Bhainji,

Your parents are incredibly lucky to have you, parents do the utmost to raise their children as best they can, but a potter is only as good as the clay they have to work with-don't underestimate your own heart.

I am Welsh, Sian, pronounced Shaan, is a Welsh name, I know that in Hebrew it means God's grace.

Thank you for your kind comnents kudihug
 
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