Premarital Sex With A Married Woman

Discussion in 'Love & Marriage' started by Honey17614, Mar 7, 2018.

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  1. Honey17614

    Honey17614 SPNer

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    Today i am feeling like i am the worst person in the world and a insult for my religion that i am a born sikh...
    Back in india i never had sex and knew that before marriage, sex is prohibited in sikhism but after coming to canada, i saw a whole new culture and such a open environment that even married woman were having boyfriends. Also my work environment was filled with such kind of people who were full of lust. And i became one of them by forgetting Sikhism. I had sex with married and unmarried girl in last two years..
    But over few weeks ago my lord opened my eyes in such a way that i started following him like i use to do in india and forget everything..but yesterday a really big mistake happened, i had Sex with one of my married friend after having sex i felt so bad i i seriously want to cry i am feeling so guilty please gursikh brothers and sisters please help me please..
    I do rehrass sahib ji and japji sahib ji...but from yesterday i am not feeling that i am deserving enough to say waheguru ...
    Please help me
     
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  3. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller

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    your possibly on the wrong site with this question, what you are looking for is for someone to take your guilt away, there are other sites that will tell you to do this, or do that, or chant this, or say this prayer a few times, or whatever,

    yeah your the worst person in the world, much worse than Hitler, Jack the ripper, and all the other bad folks, get over it, even Sikhs are not perfect you know.

    I don't think that it is, that is a Punjabi cultural thing, and even then having sex is not prohibited, just getting caught.


    you mean the real world, well done for that, but don't kid yourself that these things don't happen back home, its just not made public so that people like you can think that you are surrounded by the good and the moral,
    yeah, you mean normal people, with normal feelings and normal desires.
    ok, you got laid, and now you wan't sympathy, hey good for you, I have'nt been laid since my divorce years ago, I am quite jealous.

    ok ok don't rub it in, what do you wan't a medal?

    ah yes, the guilt, damn that guilt


    hang on, I'm confused, I though the Lord opened your eyes a few weeks ago, and yesterday you screwed your married friend, what happened to the big eye opening thing, didn't it work?

    You want to cry? wow, are you old enough to be having sex? you are feeling so guilty? oh poor you, what do you want sympathy? why don't you think of the husband of the woman you screwed, instead of yourself? and how can we help you? if the Lord opening your eyes was not enough than how can we do anything, other show you to be the pathetic wretch you are? how come guys like you get sex, and men like me end up working and sleeping all day, every day? Maybe I am doing it wrong, I should stop acting like a man and embrace being a wimp!



    I hope I have, although you may not think so,

    Forget your God focus on the people you are screwing up, you clearly give the impression of being a man, despite being rather pathetic underneath, why not think of all the partners of all the women you are screwing, why not think of the women you are screwing, do they deserve to put their marriages, their lives on the line for a child? Man up, find a loving relationship and stick with it, stop letting your {censored} rule your brain, and if you are going to, don't whine about it afterwards like a 9 year old, God is not going to help you, only you can help you, its convenient to bring God into this, because when you go screw someone else, you can blame God for not doing enough to stop you, give it up, you are in charge of your own life, your own destiny and your own {censored}, grow up.

    excuse my harsh words, but sometimes it pays to accept what you have done rather than make excuses and try and get rid of your guilt, if your guilt goes, then all this is ok, and you will carry on, so, suffer your guilt, although I am not quite sure what you feel guilty about, all you talk about is yourself and your feelings rather than people whose lives you are ruining.
     
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    Last edited: Mar 7, 2018
  4. ActsOfGod

    ActsOfGod Writer SPNer

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    The Lord isn't restricted to India. There are all kinds of people (Kaami, Krodhi, etc.) everywhere in the world. The sangat you chose when you came to Canada are not representative of all Canadians. Wherever you are, you have to choose your peer group.

    For all his tough love, Harry is right about accepting responsibility for your actions. The guilt you are feeling is there for a reason, it's meant to feel uncomfortable. Use this lesson to improve yourself in the future. You say you read the Nitnem Bani's. But do you pay attention to their meanings, to what Guru Sahib is saying to you? For example, from Japji Sahib, every day you read Aape beej, aape hi khahu. In light of your recent actions, reflect upon that.

    Perhaps it's time to stop rote recitation and start making efforts to understand the meaning of Gurbani. Understanding even one tuk can change a persons life forever.

    You're not the worst person in the world. But you can definitely do better than your recent actions. Ultimately you get to decide how you want to show up at the end of your life. Make a choice now to adhere to a standard that you can be content with. And stay true to that. In the meanwhile, it would be helpful to keep things in perspective. You made some mistakes. You exercised poor judgement. This is your journey, let's hope you learn from these experiences and make your future a positive one from now on.

    If the patient does not take the medicine, how will he recover from his ailment? Therefore, you must continue to read Gurbani and do your best to understand what Guru Sahib is teaching you. Follow this advice genuinely and honestly, and your life will never be the same again.

    All the best to you.

    Guru Sahib kirpa karan!

    [AoG]
     
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  5. Harkiran Kaur

    Harkiran Kaur

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    Something to think about... intimacy between spouses can be powerful. It’s th closest we can get to union with another being. It can mirror the union of atma with paramatma and can be much more than physical, it can be emotional and even spiritual level also. By reducing it to a physical act only you are robbing yourself of how powerful it can be when it’s someone you share that bond with and love. Doing it for physical pleasure is kaam. But doing it as an expression of love and closeness with your spouse is entirely different. Every time you do it with others you are turning it into something cheap and will affect that bond later with your spouse. It will be more difficult to acheieve the same bond. You are only robbing yourself. The others you did it with are responsible for their own actions...
     
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  6. sukhsingh

    sukhsingh Writer SPNer

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    Do me a favour..
     
  7. sukhsingh

    sukhsingh Writer SPNer

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    I'm not convinced of your legitimacy
     
  8. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller

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    look this has nothing to do with his parentage, I still want to know what is secret is!
     
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  9. sukhsingh

    sukhsingh Writer SPNer

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    ❤️
     
  10. Harkiran Kaur

    Harkiran Kaur

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    @namritanevaeh you can dislike what I wrote but it’s true even from a secular standpoint. If you have given out sex freely to many people then it just won’t be the same when you marry from an emotional standpoint. If you are ok with that then by all means. For me I wanted it to actually mean something other than physical pleasure. And like it or not kaam IS spoken against in Gurbani. We might not like some truths but it doesn’t change them...
     
  11. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller

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    Its true, probably the reason most of my relationships failed, as each cigar slowly destroys your lungs, and as each drink slowly scars your liver, each casual sexual encounter slowly takes away your innocence and your ability to share your emotions, it happens over time, leaves you jaded, almost in a state of PTSD, the flashbacks, the memories, makes it almost impossible to have a normal relationship with a normal person.

    However, some good did come from it, I find it impossible to see women that I encounter in my day to day life as sexual objects in any way for or shape, they are just people, they are not dressed as nuns, they are not carrying whips, they must be normal people, and get treated as such,
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2018

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