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No One Out There

RD1

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Sep 26, 2016
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Does anyone else ever feel repeatedly let down, and hopeless about finding the right partner for love and marriage?
 

chazSingh

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Feb 20, 2012
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Does anyone else ever feel repeatedly let down, and hopeless about finding the right partner for love and marriage?
Yup, i felt the same once...
and then one day...i met someone..now married...

i know many others that have felt the same...
and most likely they know others as well...and so on...

It's very common...amongst the masses :)
 

Sikhilove

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May 12, 2016
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Does anyone else ever feel repeatedly let down, and hopeless about finding the right partner for love and marriage?
Im not married yet. I believe God has given me lessons to make me stronger, has taught me that everyone and everything is Karam that needs to be paid off whether dukh or sukh.

If I marry, I pray that I won't live in attachment to my husband because we come and go alone and are meant to focus on our own lives. Gurbani says attachment to relations is false.

Keep looking, as living the life of a householder while practicing Truth is good, but don't think that marriage is the aim of life. People say marriage is an uphill battle but can also be amazing, a source of a lot of Sukh. I think of Guru Harkrishan Ji, who left this earth so young, never had the chance to marry because karam said otherwise.

Enjoy your life without worrying, we could leave this earth at any moment, be grateful for and happy with what u already have. I think of Guru Harkrishan Ji, who left this earth so young, never had the chance to marry because karam said otherwise. If a Guru didn't expect marriage, why should we?

Small things like just being alive, having food to eat, nice weather- are blessings we take for granted each day.
 
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sukhsingh

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Im not married yet. I believe God has given me lessons to make me stronger, has taught me that everyone and everything is Karam that needs to be paid off whether dukh or sukh.

If I marry, I pray that I won't live in attachment to my husband because we come and go alone and are meant to focus on our own lives. Gurbani says attachment to relations is false.

Keep looking, as living the life of a householder while practicing Truth is good, but don't think that marriage is the aim of life. People say marriage is an uphill battle but can also be amazing, a source of a lot of Sukh. I think of Guru Harkrishan Ji, who left this earth so young, never had the chance to marry because karam said otherwise.

Enjoy your life without worrying, we could leave this earth at any moment, be grateful for and happy with what u already have. I think of Guru Harkrishan Ji, who left this earth so young, never had the chance to marry because karam said otherwise. If a Guru didn't expect marriage, why should we?

Small things like just being alive, having food to eat, nice weather- are blessings we take for granted each day.
There is a big difference between attachment and love..
 

sukhsingh

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Aug 14, 2012
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Im not married yet. I believe God has given me lessons to make me stronger, has taught me that everyone and everything is Karam that needs to be paid off whether dukh or sukh.

If I marry, I pray that I won't live in attachment to my husband because we come and go alone and are meant to focus on our own lives. Gurbani says attachment to relations is false.

Keep looking, as living the life of a householder while practicing Truth is good, but don't think that marriage is the aim of life. People say marriage is an uphill battle but can also be amazing, a source of a lot of Sukh. I think of Guru Harkrishan Ji, who left this earth so young, never had the chance to marry because karam said otherwise.

Enjoy your life without worrying, we could leave this earth at any moment, be grateful for and happy with what u already have. I think of Guru Harkrishan Ji, who left this earth so young, never had the chance to marry because karam said otherwise. If a Guru didn't expect marriage, why should we?

Small things like just being alive, having food to eat, nice weather- are blessings we take for granted each day.
Some of what you are saying makes me feel sad
 

Sikhilove

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May 12, 2016
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I've come across people I thought I could marry, but time will always tell and none of them worked out.

I believe God has given me lessons to make me stronger, and has taught me that everyone and everything is just karam that needs to be paid off whether dukh or sukh.

If I ever marry, I pray that I won't live in attachment to my husband because we come alone and go alone and we're meant to focus on our own lives.
Some of what you are saying makes me feel sad
Lol I know, but don't be.

Love is divine. But love in remembrance of Truth, stay detached, that's real love.

I grew up with an abusive father and now see many female friends and family members in abusive relationships with their husbands and even boyfriends.

I've learnt that loving in attachment is false, humans are fickle and the reality is that they can turn any minute.

Take the Gurus. How many people were they betrayed by, how many people did they show kindness to and received evil in return.

We live in a world of dukh and sukh, love in attachment and hate, it's a cycle.

That's not to say that loving in detachment isn't beautiful, because it is. See God/ Truth in everyone.
 
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sukhsingh

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Aug 14, 2012
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Lol I know, but don't be.

Love is divine. But love in remembrance of Truth, stay detached, that's real love.

I grew up with an abusive father and now see many female friends and family members in abusive relationships with their husbands and even boyfriends.

I've learnt that loving in attachment is false, humans are fickle and the reality is that they can turn any minute.

Take the Gurus. How many people were they betrayed by, how many people did they show kindness to and received evil in return.

We live in a world of dukh and sukh, love in attachment and hate, it's a cycle.

That's not to say that loving in detachment isn't beautiful, because it is. See God/ Truth in everyone.
Love is god
 
I'm not sure that the love for a another human being can be dismissed as attachment.. My reading /feeling of sikhi bani doesn't align with that..
 

RD1

Writer
SPNer
Sep 26, 2016
361
151
Im not married yet. I believe God has given me lessons to make me stronger, has taught me that everyone and everything is Karam that needs to be paid off whether dukh or sukh.

If I marry, I pray that I won't live in attachment to my husband because we come and go alone and are meant to focus on our own lives. Gurbani says attachment to relations is false.

Keep looking, as living the life of a householder while practicing Truth is good, but don't think that marriage is the aim of life. People say marriage is an uphill battle but can also be amazing, a source of a lot of Sukh. I think of Guru Harkrishan Ji, who left this earth so young, never had the chance to marry because karam said otherwise.

Enjoy your life without worrying, we could leave this earth at any moment, be grateful for and happy with what u already have. I think of Guru Harkrishan Ji, who left this earth so young, never had the chance to marry because karam said otherwise. If a Guru didn't expect marriage, why should we?

Small things like just being alive, having food to eat, nice weather- are blessings we take for granted each day.
Excellent reminder.
 

RD1

Writer
SPNer
Sep 26, 2016
361
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I've learnt that loving in attachment is false, humans are fickle and the reality is that they can turn any minute.
This is very true. Anyone can turn on you, leave you unexpectedly out of no where.Emotional attachment is extremely difficult to avoid developing though....its very difficult to deal with a situation where you give someone your best, there is very mutual interest, but then out of no where, they end up being fake, or hurtful, or take you for granted, or just disappear without saying a word to you....dealing with a very unexpected betrayal or let-down is so challenging...wondering "why," wondering if you did something wrong, wondering if you will find someone else like that person, etc....it can consume your mind, and lead to the hopeless feelings. Why cannot people just have basic decency and treat others with dignity and respect?
 

Harry

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Jan 22, 2017
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Does anyone else ever feel repeatedly let down, and hopeless about finding the right partner for love and marriage?
Do you think the right partner would complete your life? make you whole? or are you asking as someone completely whole looking to share your life with?
 

RD1

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Sep 26, 2016
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Do you think the right partner would complete your life? make you whole? or are you asking as someone completely whole looking to share your life with?
No, I do not think a partner's role is to complete you or "save you." A partner would ideally enhance your life with support and love. Indeed, each partner needs to be whole and feel complete as much as they can within themselves first and foremost.
 

Sikhilove

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May 12, 2016
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This is very true. Anyone can turn on you, leave you unexpectedly out of no where.Emotional attachment is extremely difficult to avoid developing though....its very difficult to deal with a situation where you give someone your best, there is very mutual interest, but then out of no where, they end up being fake, or hurtful, or take you for granted, or just disappear without saying a word to you....dealing with a very unexpected betrayal or let-down is so challenging...wondering "why," wondering if you did something wrong, wondering if you will find someone else like that person, etc....it can consume your mind, and lead to the hopeless feelings. Why cannot people just have basic decency and treat others with dignity and respect?
Lol its Kalyug, bad souls every where. But it's a blessing of a time to be alive, bhagats can easily detach with a fuller force, the more darkness and pain, the greater detachment, the more light.

Your husband can be your father in your next life. This life is temporal so why be attached? Enjoy it, but in remembrance/ Practice of Truth.

Life's a test, dont let it take you.
 

Harry

SPNer
Jan 22, 2017
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Lol its Kalyug, bad souls every where. But it's a blessing of a time to be alive, bhagats can easily detach with a fuller force, the more darkness and pain, the greater detachment, the more light.
we seem to be reading from the same page here, however, I would advocate a life of non detachment and focus on understanding, yourself, the world, what is around you, to still live, you seem to be advocating total detachment, how would that affect your worldly relations, would they be important to you?
 

Original

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Jan 10, 2011
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Does anyone else ever feel repeatedly let down, and hopeless about finding the right partner for love and marriage?
....the more the failures the closer the success !

Hey beautiful, know this to be the play of Waheguru to perfect the find; don't despair, your other half is also getting dear johns left-right and centre. Waheguru Ji is tailor making the pair of you for compatibility and prosperity. Besides, you know the theory of evolution and look how we as species through thousands if not millions, of years of evolutionary experimentation perfected ourselves. Pairing-up with Mr Right will happen, allow fermentation to give it good taste so that you like what Waheguru give you.

This year I will be 60. I've had more relationships than you'd probably had hot dinners and promise you that good things come to those who wait. Everything you said above about cheat, deceit, betrayal, etc is me. I'm qualified therefore to be reciprocating. Must you ask, my social circle n environment [rude-boy jatt style not caring who n how many get injured along the way] was the "streets". You love n learn.

Please save sermons for Sunday Service !

Good day !
 
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chazSingh

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Feb 20, 2012
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it may help if you offer your definition of love
the real...true...love is....in my opinion...

Loving your wife or partner unconditionally....
you want him/her to be happy and free!
So if your partner one day cheats on you....would you feel upset, betrayed...or feel happy for her..? she wanted something else....you accept your karam...you accept hers...and like free spirits you part company...:)

with a smile on your face, and the power of waheguru as you're forever companion...you move on!
this to me is love

Love everyone around you where possible...but be free of attachment....let the people around you be free and feel free...all is waheguru!
 

RD1

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Sep 26, 2016
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know this to be the play of Waheguru to perfect the find; don't despair, your other half is also getting dear johns left-right and centre
Agreed, its the play of Waheguru, everything is, and ultimately me must accept it.
On the second part of what you wrote, I do not believe that we all have a "other half." I think this is something we desire and want for various, but I do not think we actually have a "other half," and I do not believe that Sikhi indicates that we do.
 

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