• Welcome to all New Sikh Philosophy Network Forums!
    Explore Sikh Sikhi Sikhism...
    Sign up Log in

My Dad's A Dude! "Worth More Than 100 Schoolmasters"

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
My dad’s a dude
NEETI SARKAR

http://www.thehindu.com/features/metroplus/my-dads-a-dude/article4814554.ece?homepage=true

Tomorrow is Father’s Day and NEETI SARKAR talks to youngsters in the city to find that apart from being provider, protector and handing out life lessons, fathers are super cool friends too

From helping you take your first step and playing those inane little games you would play with the girls in kindergarten to driving you down for matches and piano lessons and teaching you life’s greatest lessons, fathers do it all!

While many children consider their mothers to be their best friend and confidante, tomorrow being Father's Day, MetroPlus tries to decipher the kind of relationship children share with their daddy dearest.

Ayush Gupta, a student of engineering says: “My relationship with my father has changed over the years. When I was small, he was the one who taught me to ride a cycle, to swim and he helped me with my studies. When I got to high school and junior college, I would go to him mostly for money and sometimes for advice. Now, we are real buddies and spend time together over the weekends either playing golf or staying in and bonding over a drink.”

Universally, a father's fundamental role has been to provide protect his children. According to Riddhi Mahtani, a young home-baker, “when it comes to daughters, the relationship shared with the father remains fairly similar throughout her life. A father will always be his daughter’s hero and she will always be daddy’s little girl.”

Fathers are usually the ones who motivate their children to pursue their talents and chase their dreams.

“Being a State-level hockey player himself, my dad was keen I took up the game too. But it didn’t stop there. He ensured he sent me for summer coaching for other sports too which is why today, I’m actually considering a career in the field of sports management,” says collegian Ashwin Chinappa.

Being a single parent is difficult but there are fathers who have pulled it off with élan. Varun Mohan, a HR executive who lost his mother at the age of five says: “My father has always played a dual role at home. When we were still in school, he cared for us like our mother would. As we grew up, he has come to be our friend and my sister and I can talk to him about anything and everything.”

Some would think that it is the daughters who go to their fathers with all their worries and troubles but according to school counsellor Shireen Sait, “As boys grow older (into adulthood especially), they turn to their fathers when they make important decisions. From girlfriend woes to career counselling, young men often feel their old man knows best!”

A father’s love is like no other. Comforting, strong and sincere, a child always needs and wants it irrespective of distance and time. They add value to our lives but most importantly, fathers are usually the ones who don’t tell us how to live but live instead and let us watch them do it which is perhaps why English poet George Herbert asserted: “One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters”.
 

Attachments

  • daddude2.png
    daddude2.png
    163.9 KB · Reads: 287

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
re: My Dad's a Dude! ... "worth more than 100 schoolmasters"

In so many threads and in so many replies SPN members have talked about their fathers... shadowy when we read about them on an Internet forum, but they always seem so influential in positive ways (most of the time) and sometimes in sad ways.

The connection is without a doubt charged with emotions, and with memories.

Why not write about your father - a memorable story, a lesson learned, a poignant moment.

In my case.. my most recent reaction came just yesterday watching a political thriller on Amazon movies and telling my husband how much my father would have enjoyed watching with us. His take on the action and the dozens of plots and sub-plots would have been hilarious and filled with his own special brand of dry sarcasm about politicians. He was 82 when he died, and funny almost to the very end.

I wonder if mothers are remembered for the emotions and values they add to our lives. Are fathers the 'characters' who are impossible to forget?
 
Last edited:

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,769
8,194
54
re: My Dad's a Dude! ... "worth more than 100 schoolmasters"

My father is simply the coolest dude in the universe. He has forgiven me for all the times I just went and did whatever it was I wanted to do, He has bailed me out without question everytime I went to him, he has the patience of a saint, he is the man I admire most in the world, I am spending the day with him tommorow,
 

Ishna

Writer
SPNer
May 9, 2006
3,261
5,192
Good idea Admin ji.

The key memories I have with my dad are:

1. My love for all things technical is from my dad. When I was a baby/very small child my mum tells me dad used to put me in the front of his jacket with the zip done up so I could see out while he worked at the computer (programming or designing circuit boards). I remember him trying to explain binary code to me (yeah, right) and helping me with science projects for school.

2. I used to sneak out of bed at night when mum had gone to bed and join dad in the lounge room to watch Star Trek on school nights.

After my folks divorced when I was 10 I didn't see him too much. I see him a bit now I'm an adult, and I have a really soft spot for him, but he's also very difficult to be close to and I worry that I'm not doing enough to make him proud.

As a child I was closer to my dad and distant from my mum. Now I'm an adult I'm closer to my mum and distant from my dad. I'm sure he'd teach me how to build and program my own robot if I asked nicely.

He's an atheist and has no time for Sikhi. He's taught me a lot about chardi kala though as he's an easy-going kind of guy with a strong work ethic.

Oh! Oh! And a love of a variety of (Western) music is from my dad. Fleetwood Mac, Simon and Garfunkle, Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals, synthesizer space music, Tchaikovski. As opposed to say, my dear mum's contribution... :kaurfacepalm:

9 to 5 - Dolly Parton - YouTube
 
Last edited:

Aisha

SPNer
Oct 12, 2012
43
149
What I am thankful for. Well, it wasn't so much as what my dad said as it was what he did. Basically, the way my dad treats my mom is the way I expect to be treated by every guy in my life. My dad has nothing but respect and love for my mother, and that is what I want out of all my relationships as well. Because of the way dad treated mom, I refuse to put up with BS or neglect or abuse, no matter who it comes from. My dad showed me, through actions, not words, that real men are kind, compassionate and care about the people around them, especially the special lady in their lives. I always looked for the same qualities in a guy that my dad has, and always expected to be treated the same way my dad treats my mom. So in essence, my dad laid the foundation, ensuring that any and all of my relationships with men would have a high chance of success, because abuse, neglect etc... are things I would never put up with, thanks to my dad.

Also the emotional stability. I never saw my dad cry, he was never nervous, I never saw fear in his eyes. I always felt like even if the weight of the world was on his shoulders, he would stand up straight, head held up high and thunder "is that all you've got!?"

Funny thing is, when I was over flowing with happiness, I'd run to my mom to share the good news with her. But whenever I was upset, on the verge of tears, then only person I wanted to see was daddy. All it took was "don't worry dear, it'll be alright" and 95%, I'd feel better. I think I got this from my mom, because whenever she had any problem, she'd run to him too. She'd yap and yap for hours, he'd sit there, nod his head, say "don't worry, we'll get through it together. We can fix this" and it was all smiles from there. I felt like they could be on a sinking ship on the middle of the ocean, that one phrase would actually make her think that it was gonna be alright. My mom thought he was the best counselor in the world, he could take care of any issue. He was the emotional boulder of the family. Nothing phased him, and you could lean on him for support at any time.

I see my brothers becoming more and more like him every day. He was stricter on them than with my sister and I. He treated us like princesses and spoiled us crazy lol. Snuck us out to watch movies after mom had said no, my mom wouldn't send us shopping with him alone because she knew he would come home with a bucket full of candies and chocolates, she knew he'd give in to "please daddy, pretty pleeeease." Ironically, mom spoiled the brothers the same way he spoiled us hahaha.

After hitting puberty, I saw girls around me drop out of sports and extracurriculars like flies. My dad pushed me on even harder, he didn't care what anyone else was doing. His friends took their daughters out of the activities they were involved in, because "good girls stay at home", and they told him to do the same, he said "no thanks, I want my daughter to grow up to do more than just cook, clean and pop out babies." I still get a little emotional thinking about it, because I know for sure that I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for his support, his love, his ability to look past the fact that I'm a girl, and realization that being female doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to do the things I love.

He's definitely stubborn though. There are certain arguments you couldn't win against him, and times when he wouldn't take "no" for an answer. I remember this one time, mom was in the kitchen making lunch, she was ill and had a hard time standing, she had disobeyed dad after he had distinctively told her to stay in bed and rest. He came back in the house, saw her making the food, stormed into the kitchen, gave her the whole "what are we gonna do if something happens to you!?!" speech, picks her up, walks up the stairs, puts her in bed, covers her mouth, says "I don't wanna hear another word out of you", walks down the stairs like nothing happened and finishes cooking the food. My mom always told him how much she hated it when he did stuff like that, but she was lying. She would admit to my sister and I how much she liked it when he put his foot down and acted like a man's man. Within reason of course, he wasn't domineering, he always had a good, fair reason for doing what he did. Sometimes my mom was just being childish and deserved to be treated as such :thinkingkudi:

Which reminds me of another story (sorry!!!). My last birthday, I had dragged myself to the library to study for an exam that was a week and a half away, because I'm such a perfectionist (another thing I get from him!) and can't wait one day to start reviewing, can't even enjoy my own b-day. All this after my BF had told me we were going on a picnic and "that's the bottom line". So I didn't listen to him, and decided studying was more important. When he found out, he drove to the library. Walked in, stared at me in a "you know what I'm going to do next" kind of way, pulled the chair back, picked me up and started walking out. I was yelling at him to stop, my stuff was still on the table lol, but he kept going. We were in the parking lot when I finally said "okay I'll go with you, just please let me get my things!". He put me down and when we turned around, we saw a handful of people had followed us out because they thought I was getting kidnapped! :kudifacepalm:

So I don't think it's just my dad who's like that, I think it's most, if not all, Punjabi guys! Punjabi guys have a stubborn streak, that's no secret, and I will tell all the Punjabi boys reading this something the girls you know in real life never will: it feels nice sometimes to have you make us do things your way, putting your foot down etc... just please don't take it overboard!

Another long post, you can blame my mom for that lol. But I will be forever thankful towards my dad for teaching me to respect myself, to expect respect from any guy I date/marry, to follow my dreams and do what I know is the right thing, even if no one else does.

I told him that he is the reason I am dating my BF in the first place, because "you taught me to be independent, to do what I knew was the right thing, isn't it dad?" And he sort of flipped when I told him that they have a lot of similarities, he said "that boy is nothing like me, even in his wildest dreams, he isn't half the man I am." and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Hopefully they work things out, and then all 3 of us can laugh about it, together.
 
Last edited:

❤️ CLICK HERE TO JOIN SPN MOBILE PLATFORM

Top