Is It A Sin For A Sikh To Marry A Non-Sikh?

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

There is NO "SIN" paap or "Good deeds" PUNN in Gurmatt.
This is a NON-SIKH concept. No amount of teearth visiits, gold daan, donating cows, langgars, foods, Karrah parshaads, money for gold doems, golden palkis..etc etc ( PUNN) is worth a tutee futtee kodee...ONLY thing that matters is NAAM BHAGTEE.

All these good deeds make you a bettr person....like standing at a Bus stop..you give up your seat to an old man..give your water to a blind old lady...hold a baby while the mother ties her naala or somsthing...give the beggar a rupee...BUT the FARE that will serve you to BUY a TICKET on the BUS will be "NAAM BHAGTEE"....you can tell the Bus driver that you helped an old man..gave a rupee to a beggar..blah blah blah...of NO CONSEQUENCE..the CONDUCTOR will still DEMAND you buy the ticket or GET DOWN...and the CURENCY is naam japped Bhagtee.

a person may be married to a "perfect Singh/Singhnnee"...but still fail to achieve anything worthwhile....What did it serve Baba sri Chand Ji to be born in the House of GURU NANAK ?? NOTHING. PRITHI CHAAND had GURU Ramdass Ji for a Father..Mata Bhanee Ji for a mother..Guru Arjun ji for a Brother...did all this serve for anything...NO..ZILCH...absolute ZERO...TRUTH is each one of us achieves each of us own.. no one can do anything..so its NO SIN or PUNN either to marry a sikh or a non sikh...YOU MUST STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET...

Gyani jarnail Singh

 

[Lionchild]

personally, i would marry outside of sikhi if i didnt find someone else in sikhi... it's kind of hard to find turbaned-amritdari-english speaking-open minded sikhi girls...

:}--}:

 

[versus]

"One calls himself a Hindu, another a Turk, one a Shia, another a Sunni, but know ye, men all over are the same.
He alone is the Creator of both Hindus and Muslims, the Compassionate One, the Allah, our Great Giver: nay, know not another,
for there is not another. So serve they all the One alone: for He the One is the only God of us all: it is His Form, His Light
that is diffused in all. No difference there is between a temple and a mosque, nor between the Hindu worship or the Muslim
prayer: for men are the same all over, though they appear not the same. Gods and demons, yakshas and gandharvas, Hindus and
Muslims, they all seem different, but the difference is only of the dress, custom and country. The same eyes have they, the
same ears, the same body, the same habits, a get-together of earth, air, water and fire. Allah is no different from Abhenkha,
the Puranas no different from the Koran. All men are made alike. They appear no different to me."

-Guru Gobind Singh, Akal Ustat

 

[kxs5020]

Sat Sri Akal,
Sin does not mean anything, it is just a label as far as Sikhism is concerned. In reality we need to see is it is appropriate for Sikh to marry a non Sikh. There are two consequences.
1. There will be slow decline in Sikh values and growth over time as there is more likelihood that person and their offspring will not stick to the Sikh religion.
2 Sikh religion will cease to be a kind of religion with the same firm Maryada and will be wildly accepted as an open religion as it brings more values from other religion.

I was born in Sikh family and I am teaching my kids the Sikh values and want them to stay and marry a Sikh person because I want to see the Sikhism grow, but at the same time I will accept if they choose to bring a non Sikh person in their life as at the same time Sikhism is very generous and tolerant religion which respect the value of other humans. Kudrat de sub bande.

Kuljit Singh

 

[Lee]

Kuljit Singh Ji says:

'Sin does not mean anything, it is just a label as far as Sikhism is concerned. In reality we need to see is it is appropriate for Sikh to marry a non Sikh. There are two consequences.
1. There will be slow decline in Sikh values and growth over time as there is more likelihood that person and their offspring will not stick to the Sikh religion.
2 Sikh religion will cease to be a kind of religion with the same firm Maryada and will be wildly accepted as an open religion as it brings more values from other religion.'

Not that I actualy disagree with this, but it got me to thinking about religion in general and Sikhi in particular.

Why be religious, why belive in God and take steps to lead a life as laid out by your religious dogma?

The quick and simple answer would appear to be for some sort of reward, be that heaven, or paradise, or enlightenment, or simply a way out of this life-death-rebirth cycle.

As such that makes each and every one of us religious types selfish, yep selfish. We are of course first and foremost in it to 'save our souls' and many of the alturistic practices that come with faith are really as a by product of this.

So I want to ask what do you consider to be more important, that Sikhi survive and florish, or that you personaly find God this time around?

And to get the ball rolling, I belive that my personal search for God is more inportant than the religion that I am a member of.

 

[KChehal]

It is not a question of committing a sin or not, it is more of a conflict between love for the religion and love for the partner. Most of us commit sin one way or rather (intemtionally or unintentionally).

Some of us feel religion should take precedent over personal matters and some think otherwise. So what actually is a sin? If I send one of my seriously ill parent to one of the nursing home for care, would it be a sin? As our culture teaches us to look after our elders. If in the morning I bought some meat from a butcher and having collected some change (money) from him, in the evening I go to the gurdwara and 'metha take ' with the same money. Is it a sin?

So dear brothers and sisters, I personally feel it is up to each individual to choose his/her way of life and whatever way he or she choses to live cannot be constituted as a sin.

Finally the bani says "awal, allah noor upay, kudrat ke bandhi sab ek hai ......" (I hope I got this right -please correct me if wrong).

 

[max314]

Why be religious, why belive in God and take steps to lead a life as laid out by your religious dogma?

The quick and simple answer would appear to be for some sort of reward, be that heaven, or paradise, or enlightenment, or simply a way out of this life-death-rebirth cycle.

As such that makes each and every one of us religious types selfish, yep selfish. We are of course first and foremost in it to 'save our souls' and many of the alturistic practices that come with faith are really as a by product of this.

Precisely. I've said this on a couple of other Sikkh boards, too. And it applies to pretty much any religion's 'solution to salvation'.

 

[drkhalsa]

Originally Posted by Lee
Why be religious, why belive in God and take steps to lead a life as laid out by your religious dogma?

The quick and simple answer would appear to be for some sort of reward, be that heaven, or paradise, or enlightenment, or simply a way out of this life-death-rebirth cycle.

As such that makes each and every one of us religious types selfish, yep selfish. We are of course first and foremost in it to 'save our souls' and many of the alturistic practices that come with faith are really as a by product of this.

Precisely. I've said this on a couple of other Sikkh boards, too. And it applies to pretty much any religion's 'solution to salvation'

Dear Friends

I could be wrong so ask forgiveness in advance if you dont like it


I agree that in religions the highest thing that is offred is SALVATION and amny other like HEAVEN in others

But as AKAL made me understand SIKHISM it has something else at the peak , and yes it fits into understand with grate difficulty as it is diffrent so has to be experienced

I would like to share a quote from gubani regarding this if you dont mind . In this shabd Kabi asking for the thing that one can achieve in Sikhism and it is not Salvation clearly !


ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ ੫ ॥
देवगंधारी ५ ॥
dayvganDhaaree 5.
Dayv-Gandhaaree, Fifth Mehl:

ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤਾ ਪ੍ਰਿਅ ਬਚਨ ਤੁਹਾਰੇ ॥
अम्रिता प्रिअ बचन तुहारे ॥
amritaa pari-a bachan tuhaaray.
O Beloved, Your Words are Ambrosial Nectar.

ਅਤਿ ਸੁੰਦਰ ਮਨਮੋਹਨ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਸਭਹੂ ਮਧਿ ਨਿਰਾਰੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
अति सुंदर मनमोहन पिआरे सभहू मधि निरारे ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
at sundar manmohan pi-aaray sabhhoo maDh niraaray. ||1|| rahaa-o.
O supremely beautiful Enticer, O Beloved, You are among all, and yet distinct from all. ||1||Pause||

ਰਾਜੁ ਨ ਚਾਹਉ ਮੁਕਤਿ ਨ ਚਾਹਉ ਮਨਿ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਚਰਨ ਕਮਲਾਰੇ ॥
राजु न चाहउ मुकति न चाहउ मनि प्रीति चरन कमलारे ॥
raaj na chaaha-o mukat na chaaha-o man pareet charan kamlaaray.
I do not seek power, and I do not seek liberation. My mind is in love with Your Lotus Feet.

ਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਮਹੇਸ ਸਿਧ ਮੁਨਿ ਇੰਦ੍ਰਾ ਮੋਹਿ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਹੀ ਦਰਸਾਰੇ ॥੧॥
ब्रहम महेस सिध मुनि इंद्रा मोहि ठाकुर ही दरसारे ॥१॥
barahm mahays siDh mun indraa mohi thaakur hee darsaaray. ||1||
Brahma, Shiva, the Siddhas, the silent sages and Indra - I seek only the Blessed Vision of my Lord and Master's Darshan. ||1||

ਦੀਨੁ ਦੁਆਰੈ ਆਇਓ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਸਰਨਿ ਪਰਿਓ ਸੰਤ ਹਾਰੇ ॥
दीनु दुआरै आइओ ठाकुर सरनि परिओ संत हारे ॥
deen du-aarai aa-i-o thaakur saran pari-o sant haaray.
I have come, helpless, to Your Door, O Lord Master; I am exhausted - I seek the Sanctuary of the Saints.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਮਿਲੇ ਮਨੋਹਰ ਮਨੁ ਸੀਤਲ ਬਿਗਸਾਰੇ ॥੨॥੩॥੨੯॥
कहु नानक प्रभ मिले मनोहर मनु सीतल बिगसारे ॥२॥३॥२९॥
kaho naanak parabh milay manohar man seetal bigsaaray. ||2||3||29||
Says Nanak, I have met my Enticing Lord God; my mind is cooled and soothed - it blossoms forth in joy. ||2||3||29||






Jatinder Singh

 

[dalsingh]

Going back to the original question. An important issue is one concerning the alarmingly disproportionate birth rates of female and male Sikhs in the Panjab. This means that like it or not Sikh men will soon have to find non-Sikh wifes/partners.

I don't think sin is a word that fits well in Sikhism. It differs from the semetic religions in that the focus is not on some extreme punishment that awaits us for not following certain rules, i.e. sinning.

What is sad however is when Sikhs chose non-Sikh partners and then raise their children in a sort of cultural vacum, where they are denied their heritage or given a watered down version of it. This is just my personal opinion though, and I still struggle to separate my Punjabi cultural heritage from my Sikh one.

All in all, whatever our views, we would be foolish not to wish for our people to grow in all ways - including numerically. Plus some new blood in the quam wouldn't do it any harm.

 

[Lee]

Dalsingh Ji,

You are very brave in admiting that your Sikhi may be coloured by your cultutre, heh I know I get into lots of trouble when I mention this to other Punjbai Sikhs, I just wanted to say that to you.

I don't understand this thing with bringing the children up in faith, I have never really understood it, surly it is up to them wether to choose God or not, and if so which method best suits them? Hitting children with Sikhi or Christianity or Islam, or whatever without letting them have a well rounded education in all faith, is tantamount to brainwashing to my mind. Heh but perhaps now I show my cultutral bias huh!

 

[max314]

Dear Friends

I could be wrong so ask forgiveness in advance if you dont like it


I agree that in religions the highest thing that is offred is SALVATION and amny other like HEAVEN in others

But as AKAL made me understand SIKHISM it has something else at the peak , and yes it fits into understand with grate difficulty as it is diffrent so has to be experienced

I would like to share a quote from gubani regarding this if you dont mind . In this shabd Kabi asking for the thing that one can achieve in Sikhism and it is not Salvation clearly !


ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ ੫ ॥
देवगंधारी ५ ॥
dayvganDhaaree 5.
Dayv-Gandhaaree, Fifth Mehl:

ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤਾ ਪ੍ਰਿਅ ਬਚਨ ਤੁਹਾਰੇ ॥
अम्रिता प्रिअ बचन तुहारे ॥
amritaa pari-a bachan tuhaaray.
O Beloved, Your Words are Ambrosial Nectar.

ਅਤਿ ਸੁੰਦਰ ਮਨਮੋਹਨ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਸਭਹੂ ਮਧਿ ਨਿਰਾਰੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
अति सुंदर मनमोहन पिआरे सभहू मधि निरारे ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
at sundar manmohan pi-aaray sabhhoo maDh niraaray. ||1|| rahaa-o.
O supremely beautiful Enticer, O Beloved, You are among all, and yet distinct from all. ||1||Pause||

ਰਾਜੁ ਨ ਚਾਹਉ ਮੁਕਤਿ ਨ ਚਾਹਉ ਮਨਿ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਚਰਨ ਕਮਲਾਰੇ ॥
राजु न चाहउ मुकति न चाहउ मनि प्रीति चरन कमलारे ॥
raaj na chaaha-o mukat na chaaha-o man pareet charan kamlaaray.
I do not seek power, and I do not seek liberation. My mind is in love with Your Lotus Feet.

ਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਮਹੇਸ ਸਿਧ ਮੁਨਿ ਇੰਦ੍ਰਾ ਮੋਹਿ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਹੀ ਦਰਸਾਰੇ ॥੧॥
ब्रहम महेस सिध मुनि इंद्रा मोहि ठाकुर ही दरसारे ॥१॥
barahm mahays siDh mun indraa mohi thaakur hee darsaaray. ||1||
Brahma, Shiva, the Siddhas, the silent sages and Indra - I seek only the Blessed Vision of my Lord and Master's Darshan. ||1||

ਦੀਨੁ ਦੁਆਰੈ ਆਇਓ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਸਰਨਿ ਪਰਿਓ ਸੰਤ ਹਾਰੇ ॥
दीनु दुआरै आइओ ठाकुर सरनि परिओ संत हारे ॥
deen du-aarai aa-i-o thaakur saran pari-o sant haaray.
I have come, helpless, to Your Door, O Lord Master; I am exhausted - I seek the Sanctuary of the Saints.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਮਿਲੇ ਮਨੋਹਰ ਮਨੁ ਸੀਤਲ ਬਿਗਸਾਰੇ ॥੨॥੩॥੨੯॥
कहु नानक प्रभ मिले मनोहर मनु सीतल बिगसारे ॥२॥३॥२९॥
kaho naanak parabh milay manohar man seetal bigsaaray. ||2||3||29||
Says Nanak, I have met my Enticing Lord God; my mind is cooled and soothed - it blossoms forth in joy. ||2||3||29||






Jatinder Singh

That's a lovely passage. What point were you trying to make with it, exactly?

 

[dalsingh]

Dalsingh Ji,

You are very brave in admiting that your Sikhi may be coloured by your cultutre, heh I know I get into lots of trouble when I mention this to other Punjbai Sikhs, I just wanted to say that to you.

I don't understand this thing with bringing the children up in faith, I have never really understood it, surly it is up to them wether to choose God or not, and if so which method best suits them? Hitting children with Sikhi or Christianity or Islam, or whatever without letting them have a well rounded education in all faith, is tantamount to brainwashing to my mind. Heh but perhaps now I show my cultutral bias huh!

Exactly Lee, what you have said there is a typically Eurocentric viewpoint I hear all the time. Having grown up in the West for most of my life I can say that the very nature of the society we live in is geared towards influencing us and making us think in a certain way, through media and other tools. This is done subtly and if this is not brainwashing what is?

Regarding your other point I think you would be hard pressed to find a Punjabi Sikh not influenced by his culture. At this point in time for many of us the two seems to be intertwined to a great extent. Even if they do seem contradictory in many ways. I guess thats just yet another paradox of my heritage.

 

[vijaydeep Singh]

Gurfateh
We anywas need to try that punjabism may not come into our sikh way or as for Das biahrisim may not come into Sikh way.Regeona or pagan feeling needs to be controled.

But as faith interacts with newer culturs may unprcedented and welcoming orgresses happned.But even then West and UK in articular is better lace for Sikhs then say Pakistan or middle east.

 

[drkhalsa]

That's a lovely passage. What point were you trying to make with it, exactly?

Sorry for the confusion !

The line i was most interested in this shabad by Bhagat Kabir ji is about so called liberation which is yhought to be peak achievement or reward for being religious . Infact longing for liberation itself is part entaglement of maya/ matrix
and bhagat Kbair clearly say what he wants




ਰਾਜੁ ਨ ਚਾਹਉ ਮੁਕਤਿ ਨ ਚਾਹਉ ਮਨਿ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਚਰਨ ਕਮਲਾਰੇ ॥
राजु न चाहउ मुकति न चाहउ मनि प्रीति चरन कमलारे ॥
raaj na chaaha-o mukat na chaaha-o man pareet charan kamlaaray.
I do not seek power, and I do not seek liberation. My mind is in love with Your Lotus Feet.




Jatinder Singh

 

[Satyaban]

I believe children should be raised in the faith they were born into until they find their own path.

Om shanti shanti
Satyaban

 

[aizza]

A lot of intelligent and well thought replies have been posted to this thread. This is particularly an important thread at present because a similar question has been raised in my family. This is what I feel about it.

Sikhism does not belive in Sin. Sin is too strong a word to use in context of marriage.

I belive sikhism to be a way of life an attitude which we acquire by virtue of our birth to sikh parents. This movement "sikhism" was started by Guru Gobind Singh Ji to create a new order of people who will willingly fight against all that is wrong and always help and stand by good.

Gurbani says Aval allah noor upaya, kudrat dey sabb bandae ||
Ek noor tae sab jag upjaeya, Kon bhalae ko mandae ||SGGS-1349||

So how can we say any non sikh is bad...in the same vein marrying a non sikh is a non issue. You marry a person whom you like and hope that by doing so, together you make world a better place.

Thanks for reading this.

Aizza

 

[dalsingh]

A lot of intelligent and well thought replies have been posted to this thread. This is particularly an important thread at present because a similar question has been raised in my family. This is what I feel about it.

Sikhism does not belive in Sin. Sin is too strong a word to use in context of marriage.

I belive sikhism to be a way of life an attitude which we acquire by virtue of our birth to sikh parents. This movement "sikhism" was started by Guru Gobind Singh Ji to create a new order of people who will willingly fight against all that is wrong and always help and stand by good.

Gurbani says Aval allah noor upaya, kudrat dey sabb bandae ||
Ek noor tae sab jag upjaeya, Kon bhalae ko mandae ||SGGS-1349||

So how can we say any non sikh is bad...in the same vein marrying a non sikh is a non issue. You marry a person whom you like and hope that by doing so, together you make world a better place.

Thanks for reading this.

Aizza

It's not as simple as this, we can breed ourselves out of existence if we are not careful. I see no problem with marrying a nonSikh, but the children should be raised Sikh. Solely for the simple matter of self preservation. Plus I think it is a very positive theology to raise kids up in that touches on equality, bravery and charity.

 

[Gurjeevan]

It Is completely wrong. The Sikh view: each religion is a path to god. Each path is different, hence the different practices and beliefs. So to get to the ultimate goal (god), you cannot be married to someone who does not have the same belief as you. It would be two people on two different roads, trying to hold each others hand. For example, a sikh would try to get to god through amrit etc, being married to someone on a different path ie a hindu would lead to a conflict- as a very small example, a sikh would not be able to share food with his non sikh partner. And on the subject of children-if one parent is sikh and other non sikh- what do u do when child is born- do you keep its hair and go to the gurdwara to get first letter of name, or do you shave off its hair (as is done in hinduism) and take it to india. So how much choice does the kid really have. I could go on all day- but think this gives the angle from which i am coming- and there should be no debate- as it is sikhi that says marriages between people of different religions is not good.

Sikhs are the children of warriors/lions, we want pure breed children to keep up this heritage.

 

[dalsingh]

Sikhs are the children of warriors/lions, we want pure breed children to keep up this heritage.

Don't even go there dude, I've met some seriously cowardly Sikhs in my time as well as some phenomenally bravehearted strong ones.

Especially don't go into the "pure breed" stuff, this aint good. The whole basis of Sikhi was to show that when anyone changes their life they can achieve greatness (remember the panj piaray.)

 

[Gurjeevan]

Don't even go there dude, I've met some seriously cowardly Sikhs in my time as well as some phenomenally bravehearted strong ones.

Bruv- we are talking generally here- obviouslu you are gna get SOME cowards.

Especially don't go into the "pure breed" stuff, this aint good. The whole basis of Sikhi was to show that when anyone changes their life they can achieve greatness (remember the panj piaray.)

Dude- i thoroughly believe in the pure breed stuff. but maybe this can be interpreted in different ways. I am not saying that joining/leaving a religion is wrong-it is the individuals choice at the end of the day. so the american white sikhs etc-that is fantastic..and likewise if ne1 leaves the religion-then that is their choice. what i am saying is- getting married to a non sikh and then saying that the kid is HALF sikh and HALF hindu or whatever it may be is WRONG- hence the PURE BREED-put another way, association to just one religion (one path). If your mother were a hindu-do you think you could be able to take amrit-not eat food cooked in the family ie meat etc, grow ur hair, do paath etc??...parents are the ones who guide you- if your guides both guiding you in diferent directions- what 2 do??... the punj pyaarey that u mention were initaited in to the khalsa- so became pure- not half sikh/half something else.