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I'm Losing Faith In Sikhi, Help

Discussion in 'Hard Talk' started by Baajwala, Feb 22, 2012.

  1. Baajwala

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    Feb 22, 2012
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    Im 20 years old born and raised in canada and in a sikh household. Always have had faith in god and sikhism. however now I seem to struggle with faith. I question everything and find answers on my own to many but some things just leave me with a detached feeling from god. I hate it because in my mind I want to believe in god and in my heart I feel like I do, I mean i feel a presence all the time but i feel bad because i often ignore that presence, especially now that i am in school and busy and there are many temptations i face. I question things like why god would make a child born in pain, with deformities or mental and health problems, why does that child deserve any of that? Maybe his soul did wrong in a past form but the pain to the soul should be that of rebirth never reaching god until the soul can make peace, not pain to an innocent child. And why does god forbid sex among humans unless married, and forbid lust and what makes us greater than any other of god's creations? I mean we are animals aren't we? we are creatures of earth and does god not forbid an ape to mate with different female apes or inflate his chest to attract a suitable mate? Why would god make it pleasurable for no reason? If his only reason for sex was to procreate why wouldnt he just make it instinctual rather than both instinct and pleasure?

    At the same time i feel so grateful to god and try to thank god for what great things I have been blessed with, I never try to ask anything of god for myself I do pray that he watches over my family and others and such which i guess is selfish, because i don't want the pain of the loss of a loved one

    But I think my main struggle is with my faith in sikhism, I mean I love the moral teachings of sikhi but i question methods or other things, i mean I feel like i can reach god by being a good moral person and just making the most of a life that he has given me, I know my soul will pass on to another form after I die if I do not reach god but for ME in my mind and my conscience I will not know the difference, so what is the point of following all these parameters like the 5 k's and other things that have nothing to do with just being a good human being and helping humanity, I mean will my soul not reach god because i cut my hair, or drank alcohol before or had sex before marriage(I haven't just an example) that seems rather daft if My life as a whole is still lived peacefully while respecting my blessings from god.
    And another thing if the gurus said that it is pointless to do such things as worship idols and fast or shave your head for religion(though not to judge those who do) why is it that we are to keep our hair uncut and the other 4k's, Are these acts not just as redundant, I do understand the reasoning for most but not the logic in contradictions
    So i guess im losing faith in sikhi and a bit of my love for god because i choose to ignore the things that are considered sin or the "wrong way" and whatever just so long as i can make my self and others happy
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  3. Kamala

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    May 27, 2011
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    Uhhh, the children born with deformed bodys are like that because of their past Karma. If you were bad and not good enough for heaven/done time in hell you go through 8.4 million sky/ocean life forms and then finally get born again as a human but with a much harder tast by having a deformaty or being poor.

    Now other people may argue with me since no one has told them this, but this is what they say in Gurdwaras of the homeland aka India.

    Not in the mood to argue -_- (Not at op, at other members)

    As for you forgetting God and religion, that's what you're doing. No one is making you forget it, you need to solve it yourself or go listen to some Kathas in the gurdwara IF YOU REALLY CARE, I don't want the excuse of no time, we all know you can go at least once a week since you are in canada, and from what I know their are more Gurdwaras from mandirs in my area but I could be wrong for you in that part, but you can listen to youtube videos by a Giani ji.
  4. Luckysingh

    Luckysingh Canada
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    Dec 4, 2011
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    Baajwala ji

    The points you make are very realistic. There is no doubt that plenty of people out there have the same questions.
    I have questioned most of these in the past. You are correct, a lot of issues just don't make sense.
    Your questioning is the most important aspect in learning.

    You can learn a lot from this site. Hopefully, more issues will start making sense.

    Personally, when I read some other members posts, it reminds me of myself being at that stage once. On the other hand, some posts tell me that I haven't got to a certain stage as yet.

    We are all at different points on the learning curve.
    Firstly its important to be open minded to all different view points and this way you can be assured that you have a better chance of grasping the same learning curve.

    Your post gives the impression of how you try and see yourself fitting in to sikhism although you understand your views may not be the same and may cause you further confusion. Other sikhs around you may make you feel that you are not good enough.- these feelings are perfectly normal.

    The important thing to remember is that 5K's or a person with a kirpan does NOT make that individual a better accepted sikh. A person with a khes is NOT always a better sikh than a mona.
    When an individual goes through the ceremony of amrit and becomes amritdhari. That does NOT mean that thats it, all done, off to heaven. REMEMBER the ceremony is just the BEGINNING- they still have to work at it every day of their lives.

    You can ask as many questions as you like in the appropriate sections and all the mixed pieces of the huge jigsaw should start forming a visible picture.
    ALSO REMEMBER- That there is NO ONE, NOT A SINGLE being that has completed the jigsaw to the last piece- AND there never will be.
    This puts us all in the SAME boat.

    Sat kartar
    Lucky Singh
  5. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    Jan 31, 2011
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    It is good that you feel a presence all the time, I am not that fortunate, I do not feel the presence of anyone, or anything.I am aware that in my head there is an essence of God, whom I converse with a lot of time, but that is my only connection with 'God', as a Sikh I believe more in Creation, all that is around us, the game of life we play every day, every day you have the chance to be in Heaven or Hell, behaving as a good Sikh gives you a better chance of a good day, behaving as an animal lessens it

    I personally do not believe in reincarnation, although there are those that do, God, or Creator does not sit there passing judgement on us all, that is an Abrahamic view, Creator lets us all get on with it, nature works her magic, sometimes it is beautiful to behold, sometimes it is destructive, deformed children come under this, the view that it is to do with Karma is a Hindu Sikh/Hindu concept that has no place in Sikhism. Guru Nanak Ji went out of his way to try and give us a way of living that did not depend on our fathers actions, or our previous life actions. Its very simple, kick a dog, it will bite you, feed it, it will lick you, it is your choice right here and right now, when we die, we are dust, and no one knows what happens after that

    We are born of animals and retain the same lusts and desires that our animal ancestors had, anger, lust, all are useful, but not to be addicted to, or to be allowed to rule the roost. God does not forbid sex unless married, I am not sure where you have this from, but then, at your age, you will have a lot of misinformation about what Sikhi is all about, although I am not advocating my lifestyle, I am not legally married to my wife, and we have not had Anand Karaj, but this does not stop me from being a Sikh. I have in my youth succumbed to much lust, and it has caused me much pain both then, and in some respects 20 years after the event, it blinkers and it takes the focus away from reality, it is Maya, illusion and it suckered me in for 10-15 years, lost years, when I could have been doing something useful, instead of chasing women, drugs, money, power, pride, all wasted years. God is not a big bearded chap judging your every thought and action, again this is Abrahamic, Guruji has given you the only advice you will ever need, and it is contained in the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, heed it, and be happy, ignore it and face the consequences, it makes no difference to anyone but you, this is not a test to gain entry to heaven, heaven can be yours today and now

    I have cut hair, actually I have very little hair to cut, but it is, I also drink rarely, as my knowledge grows, I find myself drinking less, I find the visits to the barber more and more infrequent, not out of fear, out of understanding, I do not like the feeling of being intoxicated any more, drunkenness has eluded me for a while now, I like the feel of my hair, my beard, in time, without even realising it, I know one day I will have enough hair to put a turban on, and goo up my beard, but it will happen on its own, it is not something I focus on, I focus on the understanding that makes this happen, not results of such. As for soul reaching god, well, who cares, the idea is to live a good life on this earth right now, interact with Creation, be a friend to all, be an enemy to none, not to cheat or lie, not to take your focus away from Creator by losing yourself in the many distractions that are there to pull you away. Nothing you do is bad, as long as you learn from it, in my view

    A Sikh should not fear anyone or anything, including death, and should be trained and ready to defend themself, thus the Kirpan
    A Sikh should not be focused on the pleasures of the flesh, and should always be ready for any event that crops up, being stoned, being drunk, chasing women, can mean you are not ready for when your assistance is needed, the Khachera is a reminder of that
    A Sikh should remember that we are all equal, a simple steel Kara reminds us of that, and also protects the sword arm
    A Sikh should not change appearance to suit fashions, fashions come and go, but the truth is constant, why cut living tissue, or pierce living tissue in the name of vanity? A Sikh should be above that (the nail we cut is dead tissue, try cutting the nail that is alive :) ), fashions and appearances are meaningless
    However there are those that would renounce this and walk around with matted hair, ashes on faces, no clothing, this is not the spirit of Sikhi, thus the Kanga to remind us that we are also Lions and Princesses and should look smart and presentable to the rest of the world, but not gaudy and painted, it also reminds us that we are householders, soldiers, as well as saints, there are no mountain tops for us, We have to LIVE, and that is what Sikhism is all about, a guide to living happily and content and knowing the Truth. In our role as Lions and Princesses, we owe it to Creation to serve, We are Sikhs, Creator put us here to emulate the virtues of Creator without regard to creed, sex, castle, colour, lifestyle, all are in need, We must fulfil the role that we were born for, to protect and serve Creation,

    my own view, hope it helps
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    #4 Harry Haller, Feb 22, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 23, 2012
  6. Astroboy

    Astroboy Malaysia
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    ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
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    Jul 14, 2007
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  7. Arvind

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    SPNer Thinker Supporter

    Jul 13, 2004
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    Veer Baajwala,

    You do your work, and let Waheguru do His work. Clear job description it is! Let Him take care of His creation, and as a sikh, we continue to do our sewa and simran.

    Bhull chukk maaf ji.

    Regards, Arvind.
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  8. TigerStyleZ

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    Mar 31, 2011
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    Baajwala ji,

    i share your opinions, but you have to no that sikhi is no constraint, or restriction in keeping 5K´s. The 5 K´s are given to us from our beleoved guru ji. To regcognize ourself that we are Sikhs. They are only material things(maya), which will fade away in the end. They show your commitment to the SIKH faith. As Humans we got the ONE Opportunity, the ONE CHANCE, to life a good life dedicated to god. Thats why he gave us MORAL.. Yes, you are right we aren´t better than anytihng/anyone else, but we got the right of thinking and questioning! And that is wonderful, that god created us like that, this "thinking" differs us from other, that doesnt mean we are better... It is the philsophy which god gave us, like he/she/it (god is undescribeable) he gave animals the instinct. But WHO ARE WE TO SAY ANIMALS ONLY GOT instincts? It is the beauty in the ignorance. This feel of knowing nothing, make us different from other species, the feel of handle etc... God give us our GURUS AS GUIDELINES, never forget that GUIDELINES, how you can become all-knowing. We are all humans, and god made us all the same, we all make mistakes, but dont the MISTAKES help us realise, that we are doing something wrong, don´t they make us stronger ? Don´t we learn something about it? Thats why we are called Sikhs, WE HAVE TO make Mistakes to realise god, if someone never made a mistake he isn´t a sikh, he then is the essence of god. Guru Granth Sahib ji, is build on experience our Gurus made, and it is up to you to make this experience. They shared their experiences, and thats why we shouldn´t have Sikhs before marriage, because they themself got to know the 5 Evils like Kaam, they knew that you easily can obsessed/get attached from them.. We got the control on ourself, each human for hisself, is no slave from noone!

    Go out in forest or something else sit down , close your eyes and start thinking, feel the air crushing on your cheeks, no matter HOW hazy your thought are, you will find the answer.( you don´t have to go into forest it is just an example, you can meditate everywhere) And oneday, you will come to the conclusion, that all works with the essence of truth and pure.. And that you can call however you want.. somecall it ohm , some waheguru, some allah, some lord , some god etc...

    Please don´t stop questioning yourself, or you will life an superficial life
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  9. findingmyway

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    Writer SPNer Thinker Supporter

    Aug 18, 2010
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    This topic comes up time and again. Try here:

    I also suggest getting to grips with the basics of Sikhism so you can make an informed decision. Spend some time exploring the forum and asking specific questions that aren't already answered. Good luck in your quest!
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  10. Babajis Servant

    Babajis Servant
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    Mar 22, 2012
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    SSA Bhai BaajwalaJi,

    Sikhi is something you are blessed upon with, you and your religion is one of the Best religion of all, you should feel proud that you have same blood running in your veins what was there in those Great Sikh Saahids and beloved ones.
    I feel you are a very humble and loving man, who can not see others in pain or sufferings, for that God has given you good an abled body, by which you can help them.
    Waheguru loves each one of us equally, but yes we all have to pay for our deeds what we do, I know if you ask what sin any small child has commited for he is not abled or he is in pain. But this is the truth of this world we should thank Waheguru for we are much better than most of the suffering people.
    I agree with you that a good person is a good person even if he dont follow any religion, But sirji you and me are not like Babaji, for its only Babaji who did not follow any religion and still were loved so much by Waheguru.
    We are helpless soul, we need some one to guide us hold us to keep us on the true path. And who can be there better than our Gurus.
    Its easy for any one to become a monster or beast by doing all the misdeed of consuming liquor or having sex. But its very-very difficult to be a Sikh by avoiding this misdeed.
    All the 5 K's what you have with you are there to hold you for any wrong doing, these are there to remind you that you are one of the beloved Sikh of Babaji. And Babaji love you the most
    At the end I just want you to pray to Babaji to Give you strength to follow the True Path of Sikhi. May Sachhe Padsah help you to come out of such ignorant thought.

    Jo Boole Soo Nehaal Sat Sri Akaal,
    WaheGuru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji ke Fateh!animatedkhanda1
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  11. palaingtha

    palaingtha India
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    Aug 28, 2012
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    I want to discuss the queries you have put up seeking answers to them. A person should be first of honest to himself and then to the persons he comes in contact with. Since you were born in a Sikh family you can ask yourself " Does the religion practiced by your parents make them good human beings and in the light of the answer to this question " do you feel satisfied or frustrated." Thus you may accept or reject to follow the religion you were born in.
    Regarding the keeping of uncut hair I will first an practical example. Suppose you were a shop keeper.If you want to keep your moral character intact You will decide not to cheat upon your customers. Therefore you will decide that you will never short weigh the commodities you sell. Contrary to this if you are not very strict and indulge in short weighing occasionally and, carry on with this occasionally practice it will become a usually practice and you will be short weighing all the time.
    In my view Guru Gobind Singh Ji wanted his Sikhs wearing long hairs and he had to impose strictness that a Sikh will not cut his hairs. Moreover uncut long hairs are a gift of God like any other part of the body and the benefits are many. I can give you details of all the benefits duly supported scientifically.
    In the same way moral character is necessary for human beings. All religions prescribe that man must live a respectable life with good character. Sikhism has pronounced it and requires a Sikh to treat women as his mother, sister or daughter except one to whom he is married.
    Regarding a child born with deformities who suffers I have to say that our Gurus have said that the whole world is suffering and no one is exempt from this truth. The parents and siblings of a new born baby with deformities also suffer for they are saddened with the plight of their loved one. They have worries for the child and spend their time and money to remove or reduce the babe's suffering and in the bargain undergo sufferings themselves.
    Regarding the pleasures in copulation God has has made the act of procreation interesting to his creatures so that the species do not go extinct.
    If you want the details of benefits of uncut long hair duly supported by science please me know. I will give you such details upon request.
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