If A Sikh Marries A Non-Sikh ?

Re: Is it okay to marry a non-sikh ?

This may be what that poem was trying to say:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and
Forgive them anyway!

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish,
ulterior motives
Be kind anyway

If you are successful, you win some false friends and
some true enemies
Succeed anyway

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you
Be honest and frank anyway

What you spend years to build, someone could destroy
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be
Be happy anyway

The good you do today, people will often forget
Do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be
Give the world the best you've got anyway

You see in the final analysis, it is between you and
It was never between you and them anyway
Hello to everyone. I am new here. I am basically here for a couple of questions, I hope you all can help! Thanks
So my fiance is punjabi sikh... i am american! But i have accepted Sikhism as my religion. I have never felt so passionate about religion before, I love all aspects of Sikhism. I was wondering, is there any special event that I must go through to officially become Sikh. I know in my heart I am. And I know there is a baptism that some Sikhs go through... but as far as just being able to say I Am Sikh, can I just proclaim that as long as I go by what Sikhism says and I am true about it? I have not found the answers on other websites about this.
The reason I ask this, goes to my real question... when my fiance and I get married... does my last name automatically become Kaur then (so when we have children, God willing, my little girls will have Kaur as their last name and boys with Singh) I am not sure exactly how this works. I would ask my fiance but he is in India for 3 weeks and the question just popped into my head this morning!
Anyway, I do not know how else to word this really, but I hope you can catch my question! Thanks! :)


Dear Lailajan

Welcome to yhis forum !
About you r question about any ceremony to convert to sikhism then the answer as know is not really , it is more about feeling it in you r heart and following the tenets of sikhism . Well taking Amrit ( some what like baptism ceremony ) you can undergo and by doing so you commit yourself to follow all the tenets stricly as Amritdhari sikh so you and and your fiancee can undergo this togather ( if he is not amritdhari ina case) and yes you can automatically use Kaur as your surname

about your childern well as it is practice in punjab and may be at other places when new born is borned he /she undergo a initiation ceremony is done by reading gurbani from Guru Granth Sahib and the first letter of the name is als chossen at this point so this is initiation kind of thing for child when he/ she is not able to take his decision and so parents take it and when child grws up and can take his decision he can undergi second ceremony i mentioned above and ofcourse you r childern can use surname singh and kaur

Jatinder Singh


manmohini said:
What are your opinions...

sat sri akal
dont wish to offend any one here but quite a few points of view here remind me of things i used to hear when i was growing up. i am white and grew in in a very racist society, being told that it was wrong to marry or even be seen with someone of a different race. i am now married too a sikh lady and have 2 beutiful children, my boy is learning panjabi as i am. i have been warmly welcomed by the sikh community where i live although i still get some strange looks mainly from the younger sikhs. i suppose what i'm trying to say here is that it doesn't matter what the person looks like, its whats inside that matters. just because you wear a turban doesn't automatically make you a better person, and like wise it doesnt make someone a bad person because they dont. there should be no caste's or greed's in our religion or thats what i gathered from the writing of guru nanak ji. so all those of you who dissapprove of mixed marriages try reading more of the SGGS and start to open your minds, how can we attain a oneness with god when we cant even attain a oneness with each other.
please accept my apologise if i have offended anyone,
I agree fully ,

we are the children of one god .

Let us strive as one big family with out trying to impose any superficial differences .


hps62 :)


hello i am a hindu girl and i am sorry if people mind if i have become a member of this, as i am a non-sikh. i'd like to tell you my experience: when i was 17 i met a sikh boy, he liked me very much and i also had some feelings for him, i am a religious person and when he asked me out i said i cannot go out with him because he is sikh, it just wouldn't work! he was really upset and we did not talk for a while, then we became friends for 2/3 years years and we eventually got together because we could not help how we feel. we have been together several years i still feel guilty sometimes and it is a hard position to be in. we have spoken about mrrigae several times, mixed marriages can be done but when you have children it is difficult becuase then they would find it confusing, what religion would they follow? each family will start fighting and treat it as a contest in which religion they would choose. my boyfriend used to drink and eat meat however i encouraged him not to and to give up these things, he was not religious however he has good knowledge in sikhism, he does not want to wear a turban because of fashion, however i i have encouraged him in becoming a good sikh, i would never leave him if he decides to wear a turban. i beleive no matter what religion you are if you folow it rightly god shall redeem you and you shall get salvation throught following codes of conduct of religion correctly. i do hope we can get married but i am confused....religion is fundamental to me and so is keeping my parents happy, we are neither willing to convert and we both think it is unfair and disrespectful to convert just for love not for loving the religion. but am i bad person for falling for a sikh? and is he bad for falling for a hindu? please give me your views???

Soniya amni
soniya said:
hello i am a hindu girl and i am sorry if people mind if i have become a member of this, as i am a non-sikh.
All brothers and sisters are welcome to Sikhi with open arms :wah:

We are happy that people feel comfortable opening up their heart here on SPN.
soniya said:
i beleive no matter what religion you are if you folow it rightly god shall redeem you and you shall get salvation throught following codes of conduct of religion correctly.
Nice to read this :)
soniya said:
a. but am i bad person for falling for a sikh?
b. and is he bad for falling for a hindu? c. please give me your views???
My personal views:
a. No
b. No
c. Think of situation from different perspectives, that will help you.

Waheguru mehar karan.



Dear Soniya

Welcome to this forum !

And Dont worry every body is equally welcomed here

About the problem you have mentioned it does not seam to be a problem to me

I have many firends That have don ethe same thing you are intending to do
I am Sure there will be no problem till you respect each other and continue you journey ( spirtual and matreial ) with sincerety

As it is undenialble that there is no two God so what ever way you go , you are going the same way

About the social aspect it is the most feasible einter religious mariage possible as both the community have lioved together for many hundered years and it should not be problem for you aswell

Any way this is very personal decision for you and your boyfriend

I am just giving advise just take what ever you lioke and leave the rest

An dforgive me If in any way I have hurt your feelings

May Akal Bless You

Jatinder Singh
Well i haven't read wat others want 2 say but if Sikh marrys Non- Sikh , child won't b a true Sikh. when we mix water and milk , its not Pure milk. There will be also differences like if mom is non-sikh then child's influence will be towards non-sikhi and vice versa. I think 1 should marry in same religion. parents will preach 2 religions then it will effects as no 2 religions saying are same. Choose 1 path to reach god

Even if milk is mixed with water colour of milk takes over water.So if we find ourself like water or like milk is upto us.

The case of say child not becoming Sikh with Sikh and non Sikh marige can occur oonly if Sikh person is weak in Sikhism and can not let offsspring learn Gurmat.Das knows many example when Sikhs married Christians,Muslims or even Hindus and offrspring were good Sikhs.

We need to understand that Gurmat is that type of milk which can make water in its contact into milk like itself.We are a missioanry religeon and if by marraige we can get more people into our faith then it is very good.

Yes if we see Faith something to do with punajabi racialism and want to let us live in cocoon then we may thing otherwise.

Das would like to let us se how Muslim men misguides ours and hindus female folk and make them Muslim.We are not weaker then them in any way so why should we be afraid.

So let the quality of milk in us so much that let milk be infinte and as much water could be added the concentration of milk must nenver change.Akal Bless.


Its been nearly 2 yrs since i last commented on this thread. Ive been with my partner for 10yrs and our children are 6 and 8 both understand there is only 1 God. still no confusion there. My family believe in working hard and leading a good honest way of life. We share our earnings with my parters sister whos husband from an arranged marriage left her with 2 children. this proves to me that it is love for each other and the believe in one God is far more important to a family than your backgrounds. Also knowing several other so called Sikh gentlemen who cheat on their wifes doesnt help the case for same caste ,race or religion marriages, when asks why cheat and not leave their partners, the responces is always the same because of the family disgrace. Not good for any child to be brought up in this atmosphere. and one other thing the only thing that becomes diluted is the colour of the skin. a relationship should be about love for each other, religion is about the love of God. if you both believe then its easy, if your religions are different but both believe in 1 God not a problem the children will decide which way to honour him when their old enough. And if one partner doesnt believe then just look on it as a test of your own faith. arranged and same caste marriages are a cultural thing and have no place in any religion especially sikhism, Guru Nanak dev ji said so, so who are we to say any different

Open your hearts to all and be a step closer to your seat with God
Close and sit with the Devil for an eternity

Sorry if ive offended anyone not intended

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