I Am In Love With A Muslim Girl | Sikh Philosophy Network
  • Welcome to all New Sikh Philosophy Network Forums!
    Explore Sikh Sikhi Sikhism...
    Sign up Log in

I Am In Love With A Muslim Girl

Legumes

SPNer
Jul 29, 2005
8
0
32
Hello fellow users,

It's been a while since I last posted anything on this site- mainly because I've been lazy- but I apologise (I'm aware of how strange it might seem that I only come online when I want advice). But I do want advice;

I am an eighteen year old Sikh, and have been attracted to a muslim girl for over a year now- everytime I see her, my heart lights up with such indescribable joy- even when we argue (lol). About two months ago, she revealed to me that she felt the same way- we both go to the same college. We've maintained a friednly relationship because i don't want to rush into anything, especially because this is an exam year, so i have to remain focussed. BUt over the last two months, my feelings for her have grown; grown so wildly that they have grown over any pre-conceived differences such as religious differences. My mother is not exactly thrilled about this, but she's ok with it- I do not care one bit for anything with religion, but was just wandering since i have a few freinds that disapprove of our relationship, what you people feel about this.

Thanks for your time.
Legumes
 

Admin

SPNer
Jun 1, 2004
6,635
5,219
SPN
I personally think the better way to approach this case may be: Give a lot of time and patience to the relationship before the final decision on the question: Can both of you gel together as a unit for a lifetime? Such relationships, bring alongwith them, a lot of cultural shock and social pressures. At this young age like yours, when you may or may not be able to support this relationship independently, these pressures assume enormous proportions.
 
Jul 30, 2004
1,744
88
world
Gurfateh

Nature of Duty of das is such that he can not have any matrimonial relationship with Muslims or Pakistanis.

Had it been otherwise das too would have married Muslim lady.But as per rules of order to which das belongs das would have converted her to Panth.

either by Amrit Sanskar of Khalsa or by Naamdan cermony of Nirmalas at least.Because if she marries a Sikh she may not remain Muslim longer but we need to give her some faith at least.

Dear legume your post made das nostaligic.
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 4, 2005
4,502
2,742
39
INDIA
wjkk
wjkf

vijaydeep singh ji i don't understand your post. was the muslim lady not ready
to embrace sikhism and if she was ready to embrace sikhism then what is wrong with marrying with her.
 

Legumes

SPNer
Jul 29, 2005
8
0
32
It's not really a question of me converting to Islam or she converting to Sikhi- we've talked and neither of us finds religious conviction a problem. It's just that I want to verify what the people of this forum at least think- it's interesting to see how you respond to such a relationship- i can imagine if I was a muslim guy and she a skih girl, the attitude of the responses would have been very different.
 
Jul 30, 2004
1,744
88
world
Gurfateh

Problem was that she had realtives in Pakistan and due to nature of Job of das it would have generated good lot of complexicities.

She was as jealot Muslim as Das himself is jealot Sikh,But is Muslim turns to Sprituality then it is not much difficult for him/her to be converted to Sikhism.
 

rooh

SPNer
Jul 14, 2005
19
6
50
london
I have heard of relationships such as this. Along the line, they will present enormous problems. I think that the girl's family will have strong feelings about this and will not accept this relationship at any cost. Can you live with that?

Sorry to be a wet blanket, but you need to face realities and practicalities. You are young and overwhelmed by your emotions. Give it time and be objective.
 

halidarahman

SPNer
Sep 23, 2005
4
0
53
Manhattan
Hi ,

To some religion is important . But alas the world has changed and we are allowed to find love amongst different races and cultures.

So the most important question is , could you both respect each other's religion , the diffrence in your upbringing and if in the future you both decide to get married, what steps will you take when it comes to children?
Anyway you guys have a long way to go. I am muslim but my boyfriend is Sikh. We have lot of thingsin common, so for us religion actually takes a back seat. We do debate and have our own opinions but the most important thing is to respect eachother's opinion and to acknowledge the fact that we are on the same side. As for children, if we decide to have them someday, will be raised under Sikism. I am not very thrilled by my own religion. So goodluck. listen to your heart and have some fun understanding each other.:)
 
Sep 11, 2005
511
10
46
Dear Legumes ,,

Balle Balle , WonderFull , what are u waiting for .......

Be Brave , Daring and Courageous and take up the challenge to marry her .

If you really Love Her No one Can Stop you from doing so ....

Goooooooooo..........................:)
 
Sep 11, 2005
511
10
46
vijaydeep Singh said:
Gurfateh

Problem was that she had realtives in Pakistan and due to nature of Job of das it would have generated good lot of complexicities.

She was as jealot Muslim as Das himself is jealot Sikh,But is Muslim turns to Sprituality then it is not much difficult for him/her to be converted to Sikhism.
:whisling: :whisling: Das is also a Romantic Guy , Who says Sikhs are not Romantic .........
 
Sep 11, 2005
511
10
46
Legumes said:
It's not really a question of me converting to Islam or she converting to Sikhi- we've talked and neither of us finds religious conviction a problem. It's just that I want to verify what the people of this forum at least think- it's interesting to see how you respond to such a relationship- i can imagine if I was a muslim guy and she a skih girl, the attitude of the responses would have been very different.
If you are wise and smart enough then don't get into the traps of religion , If you really love her then go and marry .

If you would have been a muslim guy and that girl would have been Sikh , Nothing could have happened .

Falling in love with someone spontaneously and playing with the emotions of love with some malicious deeds is a different thing.
 

Leon

SPNer
Jul 12, 2006
2
0
Things have changed over the past years and I think that people should stop being naive and wake up.You should beable to marry who ever you want regardless of race,religion or color of skin. It should not be who your family wants you to marry, but who you want to marry and if they have unconditional love for you, they should accept who you've chosen to be with. So if both of you feel the same way about each other go ahead. Form a bond, strenghthen your relationship, build it on love,honesty and trust.

Good Luck
 

max314

SPNer
May 28, 2006
285
86
Legumes said:
Hello fellow users,

It's been a while since I last posted anything on this site- mainly because I've been lazy- but I apologise (I'm aware of how strange it might seem that I only come online when I want advice). But I do want advice;

I am an eighteen year old Sikh, and have been attracted to a muslim girl for over a year now- everytime I see her, my heart lights up with such indescribable joy- even when we argue (lol). About two months ago, she revealed to me that she felt the same way- we both go to the same college. We've maintained a friednly relationship because i don't want to rush into anything, especially because this is an exam year, so i have to remain focussed. BUt over the last two months, my feelings for her have grown; grown so wildly that they have grown over any pre-conceived differences such as religious differences. My mother is not exactly thrilled about this, but she's ok with it- I do not care one bit for anything with religion, but was just wandering since i have a few freinds that disapprove of our relationship, what you people feel about this.

Thanks for your time.
Legumes
First up, congratulations on your new-found sense of happiness :wink:

Next, allow me to simply say this:

Things won't be easy. It's hard to think with your head when your heart won't listen, but in time things will begin to surface. Those things are the realities of relationships. Even among 'socially compatible' couples, ideological problems concerning conduct of everyday life, making decisions for children (this is often the biggest center of concern), and the relationship between the families all contribute towards the long-term success and vitality of a relationship.

Of course, when you have a Sikkh-Muslim couple, those dilemmas and issues that all couples face are magnified ten-fold, and the strain can be near-unbearable.

Passion is strong for as long as it lasts, but it burns out after a while. It can't last forever (trust me, I know from experience :wink:), even though it often feels as though it will.

I'm not saying "yay" or "nay", I'm just saying "be careful" because I can promise with almost 100% certainty that things will get difficult if you decide to go through with this.

I was actually 'in love' with the most incredible girl for about five years. She was Chinese and I was Indian. She was a devout Christian and I was passionate about Sikkhism. We would talk for hours about anything and everything, but even then, I could see that the topic of religion and ideological beliefs were causing some implicit friction that could only be amplified as time went on.

I never told her how I felt and, in time, those feelings faded. I still love her as a friend, and I learned a great deal from her; one of those things was that emotion can be controlled if you only choose to. You can channel your energies to direct your life in a very particular way. A way that is more gratifying than you ever thought possible. Once you get over that first 'big crush' it's kind of like a segway into realising that there are so many incredible, gifted, intelligent, beautiful grils out there...but in the end, you only need to commit yourself to one.

Personally? I'd say "wait a little longer" and focus on your life's priorities (studies, etc). In time, things just fall into place.

Trust me: I'm not saying this "because she's Muslim" or anything like that (I'm pretty liberal about things like that). I'm simply saying that these kinds of arrangements have strains that seem conquerable at first, but as time goes on and as people (including yourself) change, you will find that things may not be as glossy as you may have once thought they could be.

The reality of life :wink:
 

DjKam1

SPNer
Oct 10, 2006
3
0
I know what issues you will face, you will have to deal with both your parents as well as hers. When you marry, you marry her FAMILY as well, and you will have to most importantly discuss the issue before having children. I believe god didn't intend to make different religions to segregate people, if we are all children of god then why should we be segregated? That statement in itself should lend you an answer to your question if it is truly love that you feel for this sister. You are still young, but always remember, god didn't mess up when man and woman was created, it's social culture that has created differences in beliefs. If there is one god and that is the idea you believe in, well hey your in luck because that's exactly what Islam says, except we murdered each other and our families for years in our past, you just have to make sure your relationship won't cause the same turmoil. Just my 2 cents. Good luck brother.;)
 
Jul 10, 2006
918
77
Hello fellow users,

It's been a while since I last posted anything on this site- mainly because I've been lazy- but I apologise (I'm aware of how strange it might seem that I only come online when I want advice). But I do want advice;

I am an eighteen year old Sikh, and have been attracted to a muslim girl for over a year now- everytime I see her, my heart lights up with such indescribable joy- even when we argue (lol). About two months ago, she revealed to me that she felt the same way- we both go to the same college. We've maintained a friednly relationship because i don't want to rush into anything, especially because this is an exam year, so i have to remain focussed. BUt over the last two months, my feelings for her have grown; grown so wildly that they have grown over any pre-conceived differences such as religious differences. My mother is not exactly thrilled about this, but she's ok with it- I do not care one bit for anything with religion, but was just wandering since i have a few freinds that disapprove of our relationship, what you people feel about this.

Thanks for your time.
Legumes
Just make sure she does not start "brainwashing" you to convert!.
BTW 18 yrs is too young to get married.
Take her to the Gurdwara and teach her Sikhi. If you do get married, your children will be Sikh's so its better if she learns about the Sikh religion.
 
Jul 30, 2004
1,744
88
world
Gurfateh

vijaydeep Singh said:
Gurfateh


"either by Amrit Sanskar of Khalsa or by Naamdan cermony of Nirmalas at least."

Praji, What is naamdan ceremony of nirmala's?

Naamdan is very much like(but not the same) as Nam Drirh.Differnace is that in case of Namdaan,non Amrit Dhari or even non Kesdhari can be given this naam Daan.An much later on that person may ask for Amrit Sanskar.

In Nirmala,first perority is for Understadning Gurbani,Devotion,Naam Abhyas,and once a person is perfect in that then Amrit Sanskar after person himself/herself ask for that.
 

singh56

SPNer
May 30, 2008
1
0
It's not really a question of me converting to Islam or she converting to Sikhi- we've talked and neither of us finds religious conviction a problem. It's just that I want to verify what the people of this forum at least think- it's interesting to see how you respond to such a relationship- i can imagine if I was a muslim guy and she a skih girl, the attitude of the responses would have been very different.
I have a friend who is the same situation as you and hence I joined SPN in hope to get different perspectives and opinions. How are things going between the muslim girl and legumes now? How old are you two? How will you raise the children...will they follow Sikhism or Islam? Do both set of parents know about this? How long have you guys known each other?

I'm trying to get a picture here and then I will relate the story of my friend. From your postings, his situation is exactly the same. Except he hasn't told his parents about anything. Only a cousin knows about their relationship. Do any of your relatives know about her?
 

Randip Singh

Writer
Historian
SPNer
May 25, 2005
2,936
2,948
51
United Kingdom
I know several people who have had Muslim Sikh relationships and a couple of marriages. Not one has survived and all have failed.

Sorry to sound down beat but when the relationships get serious problems do arise (despite people not being bothered about religion).
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Shabad Vichaar by SPN'ers

Sikhs, on cue from our clergy in the form of ragis and parcharaks, have translated Kaam as sex and lust. They further translate Kaaman as woman. Kaaman, after all is one who is “absorbed and...

SPN on Facebook

...
Top