Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
She took amrit and after that she said there is no question of this caste thing.
She took amrit and after that she said there is no question of this caste thing.
Hard Talk How Many Sikhs Have Married Out Of Caste/race?
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Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
She told me it was .Extended family is strict about this.But many beleive that amritdhari does not belong's to any caste.Anyway situation of every family is different
She told me it was .Extended family is strict about this.But many beleive that amritdhari does not belong's to any caste.Anyway situation of every family is different
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Yeh I guess it is...but in this day and age something as small and insignificant like caste shouldn't get in the way of someones life. My parents were even born here in the UK, my friends parents were born in Kenya-and they can't believe what I am going through with all this.
Update:
I also have the emotional blackmail coming from my mum-about how her and my dad will split up over this and how I will tear the family apart. She also started talking about how her and my dad had done everything for me and this is how i repay them... its beautiful really isn't it. AND then after that she says that I can confide in her and trust her and she isn't my enemy :S slight amounts of confusion.
I was reading pervious posts and I have to agree-I don't think that many people have married out of caste, not because they don't want to but because they are forced against the idea by family. The problem is though when do you get to start making your own choices in life, when are allowed to start using your mind...and another thing i am so sick of being told i am too young to understand things-i am not a child, i am a grown woman and would like to be treated like one.
grrrr my disappointment in my parents is slowly turning into anger and resentment and i don't like it :-(
Yeh I guess it is...but in this day and age something as small and insignificant like caste shouldn't get in the way of someones life. My parents were even born here in the UK, my friends parents were born in Kenya-and they can't believe what I am going through with all this.
Update:
I also have the emotional blackmail coming from my mum-about how her and my dad will split up over this and how I will tear the family apart. She also started talking about how her and my dad had done everything for me and this is how i repay them... its beautiful really isn't it. AND then after that she says that I can confide in her and trust her and she isn't my enemy :S slight amounts of confusion.
I was reading pervious posts and I have to agree-I don't think that many people have married out of caste, not because they don't want to but because they are forced against the idea by family. The problem is though when do you get to start making your own choices in life, when are allowed to start using your mind...and another thing i am so sick of being told i am too young to understand things-i am not a child, i am a grown woman and would like to be treated like one.
grrrr my disappointment in my parents is slowly turning into anger and resentment and i don't like it :-(
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh
KiranC ji,
The two castes (Ramgarhia & Jat) are both very communal to begin with.
Moreso there is ' itt kutte da vair ' (enemity like that of a brick with the dog).
This cold war goes back centuries, Jats treated Ramgarhia's very badly. That was one of the reason behind vast migration amongst Ramgarhia's from Punjab.
Coming to present times and U.K, singles out number the married. Moreso majority who are born in U.K are from mixed cultures, whether 1st, 2nd or 3rd generation.
But this was not so amongst the majority Sikhs in U.K (Ramgarhia's) The migrants stuck to traditions, customs and roots. It was and is very difficult to change this Psyche !
A Gursikh should listen to Satguru and not to his/her Heart.
Lastly,
ਛਿਵੈ ਕਾਮੁ ਨ ਪੁਛੈ ਜਾਤਿ ॥ (SGGS jeeo-137)
छिवै कामु न पुछै जाति ॥
Cẖẖivai kām na pucẖẖai jāṯ.
sixth, sexual desire, does not respect social customs.
Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh
Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh
KiranC ji,
The two castes (Ramgarhia & Jat) are both very communal to begin with.
Moreso there is ' itt kutte da vair ' (enemity like that of a brick with the dog).
This cold war goes back centuries, Jats treated Ramgarhia's very badly. That was one of the reason behind vast migration amongst Ramgarhia's from Punjab.
Coming to present times and U.K, singles out number the married. Moreso majority who are born in U.K are from mixed cultures, whether 1st, 2nd or 3rd generation.
But this was not so amongst the majority Sikhs in U.K (Ramgarhia's) The migrants stuck to traditions, customs and roots. It was and is very difficult to change this Psyche !
A Gursikh should listen to Satguru and not to his/her Heart.
Lastly,
ਛਿਵੈ ਕਾਮੁ ਨ ਪੁਛੈ ਜਾਤਿ ॥ (SGGS jeeo-137)
छिवै कामु न पुछै जाति ॥
Cẖẖivai kām na pucẖẖai jāṯ.
sixth, sexual desire, does not respect social customs.
Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Was it my partner who treated ramgarhias badly....no
Was it his parents.....no
Are you trying to tell me that if i killed someone tomorrow in thousands of years my children should be treated like they were the ones who committed a crime?
Moreover....i have done nothing wrong....theres nothing wrong with falling in love...its perfectly natural.
I am not losing my roots or my culture by doing this...i am actually trying to keep it...do you know how easy it would of been for me to go and find someone who wasn't Sikh? As far as I am concerned a Sikh is a Sikh simple as. And yes....it really is that simple! If no-one stands up to all of this prejudice then generations to come will come across the same problem. Only problem then is what happens when parents lose their children because they cannot see past something that someone was born with, and they push their children away?
Sixth sexual desire does not respect social customs- do you believe that love is simply sexual desire...to be honest i think it is a lot more than just that. And why should I respect people/customs who can't respect me? Because they are older? No...i'm sorry just because someone is older does not mean they deserve my respect....you need to earn respect. If everyone is equal and i have to earn peoples respect then they need to earn mine.
Ok but why judge people now for what happened many many years ago?
Was it my partner who treated ramgarhias badly....no
Was it his parents.....no
Are you trying to tell me that if i killed someone tomorrow in thousands of years my children should be treated like they were the ones who committed a crime?
Moreover....i have done nothing wrong....theres nothing wrong with falling in love...its perfectly natural.
I am not losing my roots or my culture by doing this...i am actually trying to keep it...do you know how easy it would of been for me to go and find someone who wasn't Sikh? As far as I am concerned a Sikh is a Sikh simple as. And yes....it really is that simple! If no-one stands up to all of this prejudice then generations to come will come across the same problem. Only problem then is what happens when parents lose their children because they cannot see past something that someone was born with, and they push their children away?
Sixth sexual desire does not respect social customs- do you believe that love is simply sexual desire...to be honest i think it is a lot more than just that. And why should I respect people/customs who can't respect me? Because they are older? No...i'm sorry just because someone is older does not mean they deserve my respect....you need to earn respect. If everyone is equal and i have to earn peoples respect then they need to earn mine.
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Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Y try to thrust your opinions on others. One either gets convinced about the logic else one follows the self. U are free to do that you like.it was the duty of many brothers to make you see the point. All wish you well.
Y try to thrust your opinions on others. One either gets convinced about the logic else one follows the self. U are free to do that you like.it was the duty of many brothers to make you see the point. All wish you well.
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
KiranC ji
When any one goes on net site, problem is discussed, people give their opinion. Some time, they can be quite opposite to what is hoped for, this is the way it is. You do not need to be up set, just disagree. Some of your words imply that tone. Surprisingly, I agree with you that Sikh is a Sikh. Caste is just ego pleasing belief. If both of you are Sikhs and in love, what is the problem? I dont see any. If it is a religion, some times, it becomes mentally heavy on parents due to the community or faith. It is just beyond my comprehension that you are going through that. It is very very sad.
KiranC ji
When any one goes on net site, problem is discussed, people give their opinion. Some time, they can be quite opposite to what is hoped for, this is the way it is. You do not need to be up set, just disagree. Some of your words imply that tone. Surprisingly, I agree with you that Sikh is a Sikh. Caste is just ego pleasing belief. If both of you are Sikhs and in love, what is the problem? I dont see any. If it is a religion, some times, it becomes mentally heavy on parents due to the community or faith. It is just beyond my comprehension that you are going through that. It is very very sad.
- Jul 14, 2007
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Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Some say love is blind and some say that love makes you blind.
Some say love is all and some say love is an illusion
Some say the truth that it's better not to fall in love and
Some say love keeps the world going on and on
If you ask me what is love ?
I would say I don't know.
So if you ask me, I ask who ?
You get some, you want more.
in the process you become whipped cream
fantasy island no more but a shattered dream
what you wanted but instead what you receive
so now's the time to think and correctly perceive
that generations to come will have his imprint
the DNA, the character traits, the family setting,
replay the scene again and let your mind sprint
fast forward into the future of your own dream.
Some say love is blind and some say that love makes you blind.
Some say love is all and some say love is an illusion
Some say the truth that it's better not to fall in love and
Some say love keeps the world going on and on
If you ask me what is love ?
I would say I don't know.
So if you ask me, I ask who ?
You get some, you want more.
in the process you become whipped cream
fantasy island no more but a shattered dream
what you wanted but instead what you receive
so now's the time to think and correctly perceive
that generations to come will have his imprint
the DNA, the character traits, the family setting,
replay the scene again and let your mind sprint
fast forward into the future of your own dream.
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh
KiranC ji,
Now what have you decided, are you willing to marry your friend anyway ?
Is your friend and his family willing to accept you without any hassels ?
Is there any financial aspect or problem involved in your getting married ?
So what is the ultimate solution ?
Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh
Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh
KiranC ji,
Now what have you decided, are you willing to marry your friend anyway ?
Is your friend and his family willing to accept you without any hassels ?
Is there any financial aspect or problem involved in your getting married ?
So what is the ultimate solution ?
Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh
- Jul 14, 2007
- 4,576
- 1,609
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Come on guys, a girl NEEDS to speak out her situation so that the jigsaw puzzle can be put together. That's what she wants. She's probably found her answer which can only come from within her own thoughts. It makes her Soul more determined to reach her goal.
Come on guys, a girl NEEDS to speak out her situation so that the jigsaw puzzle can be put together. That's what she wants. She's probably found her answer which can only come from within her own thoughts. It makes her Soul more determined to reach her goal.
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
If both are Sikhs, why she has to go through all this, this is what I cannot comprehend? Material things in this case are obviously immaterial because money is not glue that can keep them together, as I see.
She will definitely take a decision that suits her best as namjap ji said. We can just encourage her if we are able to do that.
If both are Sikhs, why she has to go through all this, this is what I cannot comprehend? Material things in this case are obviously immaterial because money is not glue that can keep them together, as I see.
She will definitely take a decision that suits her best as namjap ji said. We can just encourage her if we are able to do that.
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
I have read and heard few Girls did got married in Out of casts ( Muslim)
Even though our Gurudwara has forformed the ceremony.
Few of them I have seen In English guys not Sikhs
Few girls I know, they play Shabad at the gurudwara and still they got married with out of cast and our Gurudwara members let her do the Kirtan on the stage. I do not know if she should or not but I do not like as from her child hood she is doinga Kirtan and she was very devoted to Sikh religion than why she got married to white guy and other one to Muslim
Thank you
I have read and heard few Girls did got married in Out of casts ( Muslim)
Even though our Gurudwara has forformed the ceremony.
Few of them I have seen In English guys not Sikhs
Few girls I know, they play Shabad at the gurudwara and still they got married with out of cast and our Gurudwara members let her do the Kirtan on the stage. I do not know if she should or not but I do not like as from her child hood she is doinga Kirtan and she was very devoted to Sikh religion than why she got married to white guy and other one to Muslim
Thank you
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Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Dear Bkaur
This thread is about marrying out of caste not marrying out of religion.If any devout sikh girl decide to marry out of religion then let her do it because in Future it is she who will suffer.
Dear Bkaur
This thread is about marrying out of caste not marrying out of religion.If any devout sikh girl decide to marry out of religion then let her do it because in Future it is she who will suffer.
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
KD1980.
What is Cast in your eyes.
If you are Sikh Amritdhari, your other partner is also Amritdhari sikh than Manas ki Jaat sabey eik he pehchanvo
But just for your own selfish ness wants to marry to another cast
than yes it does matter we should stay in our own Cast and religion
Thank you
KD1980.
What is Cast in your eyes.
If you are Sikh Amritdhari, your other partner is also Amritdhari sikh than Manas ki Jaat sabey eik he pehchanvo
But just for your own selfish ness wants to marry to another cast
than yes it does matter we should stay in our own Cast and religion
Thank you
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Dear Bkaur
Caste and religion are 2 different things.Why are you combining them.There is no place for caste in sikhism but you have to practice sikhi.If you marry outside sikhism then it could become problem for you to practice sikhi
Dear Bkaur
Caste and religion are 2 different things.Why are you combining them.There is no place for caste in sikhism but you have to practice sikhi.If you marry outside sikhism then it could become problem for you to practice sikhi
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Bkaur ji
Did I misunderstand you? Your statement has just stunned me
If you are Sikh Amritdhari, your other partner is also Amritdhari sikh thanManas ki Jaat sabey eik he pehchanvo
Why above quotation( in red ) should not be applicable to all humanity?
But just for your own selfish ness wants to marry to another cast
Sikhism doesn't condone cast system at all. Any one who believe in it, disqualifies himself/herself to be worthy of Guru ji as it is his Hukm not to believe in it. I thought your stress is on" Sikhs should marry only in Sikh community"
If there is misunderstanding please correct it, it doesn't sound good in context of Gurmat.
Bkaur ji
Did I misunderstand you? Your statement has just stunned me
If you are Sikh Amritdhari, your other partner is also Amritdhari sikh thanManas ki Jaat sabey eik he pehchanvo
Why above quotation( in red ) should not be applicable to all humanity?
But just for your own selfish ness wants to marry to another cast
Sikhism doesn't condone cast system at all. Any one who believe in it, disqualifies himself/herself to be worthy of Guru ji as it is his Hukm not to believe in it. I thought your stress is on" Sikhs should marry only in Sikh community"
If there is misunderstanding please correct it, it doesn't sound good in context of Gurmat.
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Sorry for the late reply-i haven't really had time to check this as so much has been going on.
Ermmm ok...my dad met my partner not last sunday but the sunday before. My partner thought it went well-my dad on the other hand thought it went terrible. My dad simply did not like my partner. He said that I could do what I wanted but he wanted nothing to do with the wedding. :-(
I spoke to my partner who said that he wanted my dads approval before doing anything.
My dad asked my partner what he would do if my dad said no. My dad told me that my partners response was that he simply shrugged his shoulders and said he would move on. When i questioned my partner about it he said that wasn't what he said. What he had said was that he would not be happy about it, it wasn't an ideal situation but he would have no choice but to try and get on with things.
Lots of other things were said which I am not going to completely detail on here. Me and my partner are no longer together but he said that he will try to talk to my dad again.
They think they have done what is best for me-fair play to them-if i believed that someone didn't care about my child I would react in the same way. I feel like a part of me is missing-dunno how else to explain it. I'm miserable and can barely get myself out of bed in the mornings to go to work. If thats doing whats best for me then fair enough.
I dunno how much fight I have left in me. In all honesty I would be happy just to get married to my partner and get on with our lives-i know that sounds bad and all the people reading this will wonder what kind of person can go against their family so much and leave but I really believe they are wrong. And believe me if I could see some sort of way around it I would do it. But when my dad told me about the meeting none of you saw the hate in his eyes and in his tone of voice. He blamed me for everything that had gone wrong in the house the past few weeks. Nice bit of pressure and emotional blackmail to put on someone over 20 years your junior really isn't it.
Oh and yes money came into it-they don't have as much as we do therefore they are automatically after my money according to my dad. How that works is beyond me because my partner has offered to pay my rent when I couldn't and it amounted to £1600. If he was after my money would he really be offering to help me out????
Hey everyone
Sorry for the late reply-i haven't really had time to check this as so much has been going on.
Ermmm ok...my dad met my partner not last sunday but the sunday before. My partner thought it went well-my dad on the other hand thought it went terrible. My dad simply did not like my partner. He said that I could do what I wanted but he wanted nothing to do with the wedding. :-(
I spoke to my partner who said that he wanted my dads approval before doing anything.
My dad asked my partner what he would do if my dad said no. My dad told me that my partners response was that he simply shrugged his shoulders and said he would move on. When i questioned my partner about it he said that wasn't what he said. What he had said was that he would not be happy about it, it wasn't an ideal situation but he would have no choice but to try and get on with things.
Lots of other things were said which I am not going to completely detail on here. Me and my partner are no longer together but he said that he will try to talk to my dad again.
They think they have done what is best for me-fair play to them-if i believed that someone didn't care about my child I would react in the same way. I feel like a part of me is missing-dunno how else to explain it. I'm miserable and can barely get myself out of bed in the mornings to go to work. If thats doing whats best for me then fair enough.
I dunno how much fight I have left in me. In all honesty I would be happy just to get married to my partner and get on with our lives-i know that sounds bad and all the people reading this will wonder what kind of person can go against their family so much and leave but I really believe they are wrong. And believe me if I could see some sort of way around it I would do it. But when my dad told me about the meeting none of you saw the hate in his eyes and in his tone of voice. He blamed me for everything that had gone wrong in the house the past few weeks. Nice bit of pressure and emotional blackmail to put on someone over 20 years your junior really isn't it.
Oh and yes money came into it-they don't have as much as we do therefore they are automatically after my money according to my dad. How that works is beyond me because my partner has offered to pay my rent when I couldn't and it amounted to £1600. If he was after my money would he really be offering to help me out????
- Jul 14, 2007
- 4,576
- 1,609
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Georg C. Lichtenberg: Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
Georg C. Lichtenberg: Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
- Jul 14, 2007
- 4,576
- 1,609
Re: How many sikhs have married out of Caste/Race
Harriet Martineau: Any one must see at a glance that if men and women marry those whom they do not love, they must love those whom they do not marry.
Harriet Martineau: Any one must see at a glance that if men and women marry those whom they do not love, they must love those whom they do not marry.
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