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Hard Talk How Many Sikhs Have Married Out Of Caste/race?

Have You Married Out of Your Caste/Race/Tribe? Why or Why Not?

  • Yes

    Votes: 113 38.4%
  • No

    Votes: 181 61.6%

  • Total voters
    294

sskohli

SPNer
Mar 8, 2005
23
1
India
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

Sat Sri Akal All,
I think love like religion is a very personal matter and I don't think in today's soceity where you interact and work with ppl from all caste/religion etc. It is very difficult to envelope yourself with caste/religion.
I think if you like some person, that is it, period. I don't think when you are in love, you even think about caste or religion, if you do, how can that be love?

sandeep
 
Mar 10, 2006
16
0
Mumbai
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

Sat Sri AKAL

I am still un-married, but when i marry, i would marry a sikh girl.
The point here is, marriage is a complex constitution where the girl and the boy , from different backgrounds come together and start a family. There are already a lot of obstacles to resolve and definately a lot of compromises to make; why increase the complexity.
What everyone has said about love and self realisation is absolutely correct, but i would rather not take the risk.
 
Jul 30, 2004
1,744
88
world
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

Gurfateh

Das is unmarried but his Father and mother ,whoare Hindu,are from differnat caste.Likewsie two out of his three elder brothers also have married outside caste.Even one Brother mariied Russian Lady.

So in educated Hindus also caste is not bar.
 
Oct 21, 2004
2
1
41
in INDIA . KHANNA
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

I don't know how many times we will call us JATT or somthing else..
May be first we need to know who we are and what is our religion. Human is our first religion and then next.
HUMAN make this religion not God. And God is one, so why u people giving the populairty of this Idiot questions that did someone marry to other cast etc or not ...
thats why we are back ... ...
see inside your heart...
take care,....
 

Jaszwant

SPNer
Mar 23, 2006
3
1
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

I married my wife who is half Punjabi (different jaat-supposed to be the lowest) and half Chinese while I am a Jat.
Most Sikhs I have known or even relatives tend to make an issue out of it but to me humans are all equal in the eyes of God. The only defferences I tend to look at are differences in opinion (than again each person has his or her own and is their right), in choice etc, nothing to do with race or religion or caste or creed.
That is the way of the Sikh.
 

d4rmy

SPNer
Dec 20, 2004
1
0
50
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

I do not think Caste should be taken so seriously but there still seems to be a lot of stigma, when cousins or family marry out of caste as sikhs we should rise above this and promote love respect for each other.
 

Jasbir

SPNer
Dec 10, 2004
3
6
72
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

I am married to a girl of my own cast. It was not a concious decision to do so. Someone recomended a match and it seemed suitable and therefore we got married. My family did not insist or actively look for someone of our own cast. However the persons who recomend such matches do so to the parties of the same cast hence the question does not arise. Therfore it could be said that caste selection does occur but with subtlty!

I don't know what would have happened if the recomender had suggested someone of a different cast. In may case if the person was suitable it would not have mattered. But you cannot say for sure until it actually happens!

Best regards
Jasbir Singh
 

elsiebill

SPNer
Sep 26, 2005
2
0
95
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

although I realise that marrying in the group will perpetuate the status quo. But progress in life is to maintain the principles, live and act accordingly but are not cut off all others and of life. It does not make any difference how you call yourself where you are registered. The only difference is what you as an individual contribute to your fellow men.
If you are enlightened and search for truth , meaning and try to live by ethics and principles it makes no difference who calls you what.
You contribute to the morals and enjoyment of others and if we all do this and leave hate, prejudice etc out of the equation we are having purpose in life.
 

hbamrah

SPNer
Apr 11, 2006
2
0
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khals, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh,

Aman singh ji,

I am still a bechlore. but my opinion ab marriage is one should merry in the same cast to which he/she belongs.
cos, I hv faith in the teachings of our GURUS and GURU GRANTH SAHIBH ji, and i expect same thing
from my spouce.

best wishes.....Always,

Harpal Singh
 
Aug 13, 2004
118
28
US
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

Caste was not a consideration at all while picking my beloved husband. It has never been a 'factor' in considering any matrimonials for my siblings either.

Dhan Guru Naanak!
 

sahibajatti

SPNer
Jan 6, 2006
1
0
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

ssa
love isn't about cast or ouch nich what ever people call it ..."outhey amlan dey honay navrdey kisey ni teri jaat pushni" but one thing if your a sikh you should get married to a sikh , muslim should get married to a muslim .......getting married out of cast isn't bad but if you know you love that person and will be able to live and take your last breath for them .....but if you cant do that i dont think you should go with it because your not just going to be hurting your self but the people around you .........
other then that "na ishq disey na raab disda'
raab jey teri rooh bandiya raab di rooh ishq aye ,
Rab dey kolon he jey rab mangiya tey ki mangiya " ...i still wouldnt marry a hindu even if god told me to do so him self .....
But every one looks at things differently ......so ya rab rakha

 

gursidak

SPNer
Apr 22, 2005
13
1
Re: How Many Sikhs Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

The answer in my case would by Yes & No because I married someone who's a Gursikh.

Caste (what is it?) ..... never came up.

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On second thought, if you're refering to the Brahminical caste (Jaat).... then yes I married someone outside of it.

Would like to stress that as a Sikh, we ain't not give that any importance because casteism of any sort is against the basic tenets of Sikhism.

Also if the intention was to look for people marrying out of their Religions, then this should be stated more clearly so that there isn't any scope for confusion and we can have a clearer picture either based on the caste thing or the religion.


Thanks,

Guru Rakha
 

girl20

SPNer
Aug 23, 2005
6
0
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

just a quick point urmm wasnt Sikhism started to END this caste system? So why ask about caste coz in the Religion it doesnt indicate anywhere that u musnt marry anyone out side of ur caste?
 

sarbjit_01

SPNer
Jun 30, 2004
13
0
35
ENGLAND
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

im not married yet and when i do get married it will be to a person that my parents choose and most likely they will choose a man of the same caste and race as me
this doesnt mean that i wouldnt consider marrying out of caste and race, this just means that my parents (the older generation) are stuck in the mind phrase of the existance of a caste system.
 
Jan 17, 2005
1
0
46
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

I belong to Mazhbi subcaste.. I has always been a tough decision for me whether to marry a girl of my catse or others. I have achieved lot of success in my life, thanks you guru maharaj. Now I want a very sober, religious life partner, which I am not able to find till now. My relatives always press my not to marry a girl out of our caste, as you have been successful, try to uplift your own caste, marry a girl of own caste and this way you will be helping her and her family to come up. I tried to approach few families for the marriage proposals, but they reject when they know that I belong to mazhbi caste.
We all talk about religion, but no one follows, we can only talk but can never follow what our guru asked us. How many young sikh people you know who dont want to cut their hair?
 

cia

SPNer
Feb 25, 2006
4
0
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

I married out of my race because I was told to find someone who loved me for ME! I don't understand how or why a persons’ skin tone would make their heart true. I also believe we are responsible for our own destiny and should be strong enough in our faith to love someone who has chosen a different road to travel on their faith journey.
cia
 

Randip Singh

Writer
Historian
SPNer
May 25, 2005
2,935
2,949
55
United Kingdom
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

gurunanakslad said:
my answer is No. its because if i will marry some one out of caste then it will create many problems regarding religions coz i will want my child to follow sikhism and his mother will want child to follow her religion and child will get confused and reach nowhere... he will have very different point of view??... he will b in trouble everytime...

Moreover when there will be any function , again religions will come between so its better to marry in ur same caste....

I reallr respect all religions but its just i don't want to have any problem regarding religions.

Please explain what caste has to do with following religion. You could be any race/caste/tribe and still be Sikh.
 
May 16, 2005
341
11
38
Vernon, BC Canada
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

balwindersahota said:
I belong to Mazhbi subcaste.. I has always been a tough decision for me whether to marry a girl of my catse or others. I have achieved lot of success in my life, thanks you guru maharaj. Now I want a very sober, religious life partner, which I am not able to find till now. My relatives always press my not to marry a girl out of our caste, as you have been successful, try to uplift your own caste, marry a girl of own caste and this way you will be helping her and her family to come up. I tried to approach few families for the marriage proposals, but they reject when they know that I belong to mazhbi caste.
We all talk about religion, but no one follows, we can only talk but can never follow what our guru asked us. How many young sikh people you know who dont want to cut their hair?


The great culling of sikhs in the distant furture will shed those kind of ppl from the sikhi community. They may think thay are sikh, but light will not shine donw from them, and will have their bad carma to follow them inot thenext life. comes around-goes around.

All you can do is be yourself and try to move forward.
 

Sand_Kaur

SPNer
Jun 22, 2005
3
0
UK
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

Although caste is not a Sikh principle in the true sense, many people still follow it. When making new friends at uni who are sikh, often one of the first questions they ask is what caste are you. I've had theoretical discussions about marriage with my father and he said that marrying someone of a different caste, even though they are Sikh would ostrisize a person completely socially... that the family of the lower caste wouldn't be acknowledged... also that actually someone of a higher caste wouldn't be stupid enough to do so anyhow so really this is a waste of conversation etc etc. He also said that if I was to marry someone of a different caste, then he'd disown me.

I reminded him that the caste system was condemned in Sikhi and he just replied that really, it's traditional cultural/social factors that people care about. Someone who goes against such strong pulls isn't very wise.

The only arguement for things like caste systems that I could humour is two people having a shared background; to feel they have something in common. But these days, that is really a very thin similarity as Sikh youth in the western world have so many differences, even if they are from the same caste. I have cousins that I completely feel awkward around because I can't understand the philosophies they go by... and that has nothing to do with caste!!


In my opinion, I find that living and choices we make are often based on what we can cope with relative to our families. I find problems when I don't agree with something my parents feel strongly about, esp when it's contradicting some Skih philosophy. I think they feel some guidance is only for the really super keen Sikhs!

I seem to have gone off topic slightly here, but I think that my point is in there somewhere.

Sand
 

Randip Singh

Writer
Historian
SPNer
May 25, 2005
2,935
2,949
55
United Kingdom
Re: How Many Siks Have Married out Of Jaat/Zaat (Caste/Race)

Sand_Kaur said:
Although caste is not a Sikh principle in the true sense, many people still follow it. When making new friends at uni who are sikh, often one of the first questions they ask is what caste are you. I've had theoretical discussions about marriage with my father and he said that marrying someone of a different caste, even though they are Sikh would ostrisize a person completely socially... that the family of the lower caste wouldn't be acknowledged... also that actually someone of a higher caste wouldn't be stupid enough to do so anyhow so really this is a waste of conversation etc etc. He also said that if I was to marry someone of a different caste, then he'd disown me.

I reminded him that the caste system was condemned in Sikhi and he just replied that really, it's traditional cultural/social factors that people care about. Someone who goes against such strong pulls isn't very wise.

The only arguement for things like caste systems that I could humour is two people having a shared background; to feel they have something in common. But these days, that is really a very thin similarity as Sikh youth in the western world have so many differences, even if they are from the same caste. I have cousins that I completely feel awkward around because I can't understand the philosophies they go by... and that has nothing to do with caste!!


In my opinion, I find that living and choices we make are often based on what we can cope with relative to our families. I find problems when I don't agree with something my parents feel strongly about, esp when it's contradicting some Skih philosophy. I think they feel some guidance is only for the really super keen Sikhs!

I seem to have gone off topic slightly here, but I think that my point is in there somewhere.

Sand

You haven't gone off topic at all.

It is better to marry someone with the same values rather than someone who does not.

Therefore I would say it would be better if a say and Afro-Sikh married a Punjabi-Sikh (if they were both devout Sikhs), rather than say a Punjabi-Sikh marry another Punjabi who is a Sikh in name and goes out boozing and partying, and could not give a damm about Sikhi.

I myself am married out of "caste" and me and my wife, share the same Sikh values (or what I call human values).
 

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