- Jan 31, 2011
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Gurfateh
A few months ago, I realised that my happiness seemed to ebb and flow depending largely on external circumstances. Food made me happy, Sex made me extremely happy, not worrying about bills, closing the shop, having enough money, I was literally an aeroplane being handed over from airport to airport. I would take off on one happiness, find it running out, and then look madly for another airport to land at, and then refuel with another happiness, take off again, I was constantly looking for refuelling points, my whole life, my whole day was spent checking what airports were close by, some times, I planned badly and ended up crashing into the most awful depression, at which point it would take a major airport to get me back in the air again. To be more happy meant having more airports, more refuelling points, more hold space for emergency fuel, in the end, I crashed, and decided I was not taking off again, then Alfie, my dog became ill, terminally, and it effected me hugely, not in the sense that I was losing him, but the effect on my wife, she handled this huge loss, the last link to her dead mother (Alfie was her guide dog), with much dignity, instead of focusing on his soon to be demise, she busied herself with making the most of the time left, yes, there was some sadness, but on the whole, she kept in Chardi Kala, and she kept the dog in Chardi Kala too.
This affected me hugely, she did not need airports or refuelling points, she just got on with it and found happiness where she could, and if she could not, she would turn any situation into a happy event, her happiness seemed to come from something deeper, something more consistent than mine, in the end, I asked her, how do you do it? Like every answer to every question I have asked her on subjects similar, she gave the same answer "I don't know"
This time I pushed her, and she thought and replied " You are too attached to everything, you know what makes you happy, and you have closed your mind to everything else. "
So, I decided to ground my happiness aeroplane and follow my wife's lead, I ate simply, I enjoyed her company rather than the physical act, I stopped thinking about sex, food, I started spending more time with Alfie, the ferrets, Dan, Virgil, the dog and cat, I started cooking more, cleaning, walking, yesterday we sat and watched the Moon, it was a crescent, it was beautiful, it was the sort of beauty that anyone could enjoy, anywhere, my wife made sure that one day a week, I immersed myself in all the things I used to enjoy, but this time I was not waiting for them, I enjoyed them, I had good food, (and severe indigestion), a few beers (and heartburn), but frankly I missed the floating of happiness that my life had become, every day was happy, every day was potential for peace, I did not feel like I was being passed from pleasure to pleasure, my wife finds this easy, I realised that happiness was in fact following Hukam, I did not realise how easy it was until I put my trust in it, it is also at this point I realised how many non Sikhs are more Sikhi than Sikhs!
I wanted to share this with anyone who is not happy, or whose happiness is dependent, its easy, just follow Hukam, you will know when you have it, as you will not feel like an aeroplane! lol
kudihug
A few months ago, I realised that my happiness seemed to ebb and flow depending largely on external circumstances. Food made me happy, Sex made me extremely happy, not worrying about bills, closing the shop, having enough money, I was literally an aeroplane being handed over from airport to airport. I would take off on one happiness, find it running out, and then look madly for another airport to land at, and then refuel with another happiness, take off again, I was constantly looking for refuelling points, my whole life, my whole day was spent checking what airports were close by, some times, I planned badly and ended up crashing into the most awful depression, at which point it would take a major airport to get me back in the air again. To be more happy meant having more airports, more refuelling points, more hold space for emergency fuel, in the end, I crashed, and decided I was not taking off again, then Alfie, my dog became ill, terminally, and it effected me hugely, not in the sense that I was losing him, but the effect on my wife, she handled this huge loss, the last link to her dead mother (Alfie was her guide dog), with much dignity, instead of focusing on his soon to be demise, she busied herself with making the most of the time left, yes, there was some sadness, but on the whole, she kept in Chardi Kala, and she kept the dog in Chardi Kala too.
This affected me hugely, she did not need airports or refuelling points, she just got on with it and found happiness where she could, and if she could not, she would turn any situation into a happy event, her happiness seemed to come from something deeper, something more consistent than mine, in the end, I asked her, how do you do it? Like every answer to every question I have asked her on subjects similar, she gave the same answer "I don't know"
This time I pushed her, and she thought and replied " You are too attached to everything, you know what makes you happy, and you have closed your mind to everything else. "
So, I decided to ground my happiness aeroplane and follow my wife's lead, I ate simply, I enjoyed her company rather than the physical act, I stopped thinking about sex, food, I started spending more time with Alfie, the ferrets, Dan, Virgil, the dog and cat, I started cooking more, cleaning, walking, yesterday we sat and watched the Moon, it was a crescent, it was beautiful, it was the sort of beauty that anyone could enjoy, anywhere, my wife made sure that one day a week, I immersed myself in all the things I used to enjoy, but this time I was not waiting for them, I enjoyed them, I had good food, (and severe indigestion), a few beers (and heartburn), but frankly I missed the floating of happiness that my life had become, every day was happy, every day was potential for peace, I did not feel like I was being passed from pleasure to pleasure, my wife finds this easy, I realised that happiness was in fact following Hukam, I did not realise how easy it was until I put my trust in it, it is also at this point I realised how many non Sikhs are more Sikhi than Sikhs!
I wanted to share this with anyone who is not happy, or whose happiness is dependent, its easy, just follow Hukam, you will know when you have it, as you will not feel like an aeroplane! lol
kudihug
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