Ishna ji
You ask some interesting questions. Laav means join or unite. Lavan are the 4 wedding hymns recited at a Sikh wedding. They were composed by Guru Ram Das. The story of these hymns is truly touching. I am posting the 4 hymns of the Lavan here, because I think in their study we all can discuss how they answer your questions.
Sukhminder Kaur Khalsa, reports
"The Lavan hymns are compositions of Guru Raam Das, and were written for the occasion of his own wedding to Bibi Bhani. They are meant to fuse the soul of bride and groom into one conscious being who is subsequently wedded to God in spiritual union.."
http://sikhism.about.com/od/sikhweddinghymns/a/Lavan.htm
ਸੂਹੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੪ ॥
Sūhī mėhlā 4.
Soohee, Fourth Mehl:
ਹਰਿ ਪਹਿਲੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਪਰਵਿਰਤੀ ਕਰਮ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har pahilaṛī lāv parvirṯī karam driṛ▫ā▫i▫ā bal rām jī▫o.
In the first round of the marriage ceremony, the Lord sets out His Instructions for performing the daily duties of married life.
ਬਾਣੀ ਬ੍ਰਹਮਾ ਵੇਦੁ ਧਰਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਹੁ ਪਾਪ ਤਜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Baṇī barahmā veḏ ḏẖaram ḏariṛĥu pāp ṯajā▫i▫ā bal rām jī▫o.
Instead of the hymns of the Vedas to Brahma, embrace the righteous conduct of Dharma, and renounce sinful actions.
ਧਰਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਹੁ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਵਹੁ ਸਿਮ੍ਰਿਤਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ॥
Ḏẖaram ḏariṛĥu har nām ḏẖi▫āvahu simriṯ nām driṛ▫ā▫i▫ā.
Meditate on the Lord's Name; embrace and enshrine the contemplative remembrance of the Naam.
ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰਾ ਆਰਾਧਹੁ ਸਭਿ ਕਿਲਵਿਖ ਪਾਪ ਗਵਾਇਆ ॥
Saṯgur gur pūrā ārāḏẖahu sabẖ kilvikẖ pāp gavā▫i▫ā.
Worship and adore the Guru, the Perfect True Guru, and all your sins shall be dispelled.
ਸਹਜ ਅਨੰਦੁ ਹੋਆ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਮਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ॥
Sahj anand ho▫ā vadbẖāgī man har har mīṯẖā lā▫i▫ā.
By great good fortune, celestial bliss is attained, and the Lord, Har, Har, seems sweet to the mind.
ਜਨੁ ਕਹੈ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਲਾਵ ਪਹਿਲੀ ਆਰੰਭੁ ਕਾਜੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ॥੧॥
Jan kahai Nānak lāv pahilī ārambẖ kāj racẖā▫i▫ā. ||1||
Slave Nanak proclaims that by the First round the marriage rite has begun.
ਹਰਿ ਦੂਜੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਮਿਲਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har ḏūjṛī lāv saṯgur purakẖ milā▫i▫ā bal rām jī▫o.
In the second round, the Lord has made me meet the Divine True Guru.
ਨਿਰਭਉ ਭੈ ਮਨੁ ਹੋਇ ਹਉਮੈ ਮੈਲੁ ਗਵਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Nirbẖa▫o bẖai man ho▫e ha▫umai mail gavā▫i▫ā bal rām jī▫o.
By God's fear my mind has become fear-free and the filth of my self conceit is washed off.
ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਭਉ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਵੇਖੈ ਰਾਮੁ ਹਦੂਰੇ ॥
Nirmal bẖa▫o pā▫i▫ā har guṇ gā▫i▫ā har vekẖai rām haḏūre.
By having the fear of immaculate God, the Master and singing His praise, I behold Him face to face.
ਹਰਿ ਆਤਮ ਰਾਮੁ ਪਸਾਰਿਆ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਸਰਬ ਰਹਿਆ ਭਰਪੂਰੇ ॥
Har āṯam rām pasāri▫ā su▫āmī sarab rahi▫ā bẖarpūre.
God Lord master, the soul of the world, is pervading every where and filling all the places.
ਅੰਤਰਿ ਬਾਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਏਕੋ ਮਿਲਿ ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਮੰਗਲ ਗਾਏ ॥
Anṯar bāhar har parabẖ eko mil har jan mangal gā▫e.
Within and without is the One Lord Master. Meeting with the Lord's slaves sing I the songs of joy.
ਜਨ ਨਾਨਕ ਦੂਜੀ ਲਾਵ ਚਲਾਈ ਅਨਹਦ ਸਬਦ ਵਜਾਏ ॥੨॥
Jan Nānak ḏūjī lāv cẖalā▫ī anhaḏ sabaḏ vajā▫e. ||2||
Proclaims slave Nanak, the second round is finished and the Divine melody resounds.
ਹਰਿ ਤੀਜੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਮਨਿ ਚਾਉ ਭਇਆ ਬੈਰਾਗੀਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har ṯījṛī lāv man cẖā▫o bẖa▫i▫ā bairāgī▫ā bal rām jī▫o.
In the third round, the pleasure of Lord's Love wells up within my mind.
ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਹਰਿ ਮੇਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਵਡਭਾਗੀਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Sanṯ janā har mel har pā▫i▫ā vadbẖāgī▫ā bal rām jī▫o.
Meeting with the holy persons, I have found the Lord God through the greatest good lick.
ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇਆ ਮੁਖਿ ਬੋਲੀ ਹਰਿ ਬਾਣੀ ॥
Nirmal har pā▫i▫ā har guṇ gā▫i▫ā mukẖ bolī har baṇī.
Singing God's praise and uttering the Divine Gurbani with my mouth I have obtained the immaculate Lord.
ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਕਥੀਐ ਅਕਥ ਕਹਾਣੀ ॥
Sanṯ janā vadbẖāgī pā▫i▫ā har kathī▫ai akath kahāṇī.
By great good fortune, the pious persons attain to God and utter His unutterable story.
ਹਿਰਦੈ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਧੁਨਿ ਉਪਜੀ ਹਰਿ ਜਪੀਐ ਮਸਤਕਿ ਭਾਗੁ ਜੀਉ ॥
Hirḏai har har har ḏẖun upjī har japī▫ai masṯak bẖāg jī▫o.
Within my mind has welled up the music of Good, the Lord Master, and by the destiny recorded on my brow, I contemplate the Lord.
ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬੋਲੇ ਤੀਜੀ ਲਾਵੈ ਹਰਿ ਉਪਜੈ ਮਨਿ ਬੈਰਾਗੁ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥
Jan Nānak bole ṯījī lāvai har upjai man bairāg jī▫o. ||3||
Says serf Nanak that in the third round God's love is produced in my mind.
ਹਰਿ ਚਉਥੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਮਨਿ ਸਹਜੁ ਭਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har cẖa▫uthaṛī lāv man sahj bẖa▫i▫ā har pā▫i▫ā bal rām jī▫o.
In the forth round Divine comprehension has welled up within my mind and I have obtained my Lord.
ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਸੁਭਾਇ ਹਰਿ ਮਨਿ ਤਨਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Gurmukẖ mili▫ā subẖā▫e har man ṯan mīṯẖā lā▫i▫ā bal rām jī▫o.
By Guru's grace, I have easily met my Lord, who is sweet unto my soul and body, Unto my Lord I am a sacrifice.
ਹਰਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ਮੇਰੇ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਭਾਇਆ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਹਰਿ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਈ ॥
Har mīṯẖā lā▫i▫ā mere parabẖ bẖā▫i▫ā an▫ḏin har liv lā▫ī.
God seems sweet unto me and I have become pleasing to my Master. Night and day I fix my attention on the Lord.
ਮਨ ਚਿੰਦਿਆ ਫਲੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਵਜੀ ਵਾਧਾਈ ॥
Man cẖinḏi▫ā fal pā▫i▫ā su▫āmī har nām vajī vāḏẖā▫ī.
I have obtained my heart-desired fruit, my Lord. By exalting God's name I am congratulated.
ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭਿ ਠਾਕੁਰਿ ਕਾਜੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ਧਨ ਹਿਰਦੈ ਨਾਮਿ ਵਿਗਾਸੀ ॥
Har parabẖ ṯẖākur kāj racẖā▫i▫ā ḏẖan hirḏai nām vigāsī.
God, the Lord Master has brought about the wedding ceremony and the bride's mind has blossomed with the Lord's Name.
ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬੋਲੇ ਚਉਥੀ ਲਾਵੈ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਅਵਿਨਾਸੀ ॥੪॥੨॥
Jan Nānak bole cẖa▫uthī lāvai har pā▫i▫ā parabẖ avināsī. ||4||2||
Says slave Nanak, in the fourth circling I have attained to my imperishable God Lord.
Just as tuks do not stand alone, individual shabads are connected to one another. Verses before and after a shabad give clues to its meaning. Interesting to me is that the last line of the shabad preceding the Lavan is this:
ਨਾਨਕ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਿ ਕੈ ਮੇਲੇ ਵਿਛੁੜਿ ਕਦੇ ਨ ਜਾਈ ॥੪॥੧॥
Nānak kirpā kar kai mele vicẖẖuṛ kaḏe na jā▫ī. ||4||1||
Nanak, the Lord has mercifully united the bride with Him and she will never be separated again.
Hope that is food for thought. Translation by Dr. Sant Singh Khalsa
