Sat sri akal, I've got major problems that I could use some advice on... I am a gora (no religion) and my girlfriend is Sikh, she is ready for marriage but thinks marrying me would tear her family apart and leave us alienated. I have met the parents (but was not introduced as a boyfriend) and they are very welcoming, but her mother is much more old school than her westernized father and apparently her mother would be furious if she married a gora. Furthermore, her grandmother would never talk to her again. Most of my best friends are Sikh guys, and I know all their families and they are all extremely accepting. I also have a basic understanding of Punjabi and know a lot of common words. The main complaints her mother stated about marrying a gora is that I would be watering down the culture and I would not be able to communicate enough with the relatives, specifically the mother. I might soon be taking Punjabi classes so I can speak fluently and I am not against converting to Sikhism, because I respect the values it teaches and I have been learning about Sikhism for some time. All my friends are westernized though and do not really follow any of the 5 K's, except some wear a kara and I do not think I could ever wear all 5 K's. Furthermore, I am not sure if converting would be enough because her mother also said she could not marry a chamar guy, so it clearly is not all about the communication. It seems like there is an underlying racist tone with the older generations of Sikh's (at least where I am from) because while most are accepting of spending time with gorae, they do not want them entering the community. I love this girl, but I know how important family is and do not want her family to cut her out of their lives because of me. How should I go about trying to win over the family? I know Sikhism advocates equality, but how do I tell them that without being rude so they can see that I am a man of good character or should I make the ultimate sacrifice and give her up for the sake of her family's happiness (because that is very important to her)?