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Leisure Funny One Liners

Discussion in 'Business, Lifestyle & Leisure' started by Arvind, Jul 18, 2007.

  1. Arvind

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    SPNer Thinker Supporter

    Jul 13, 2004
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    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were
    my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife,
    I'd drink it."

    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
    gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your
    policies or
    your mistress."

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
    pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
    reading it." - Moses Hadas

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
    approved of it." Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
    - Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
    friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
    one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
    - Stephen Bishop

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
    trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
    - Samuel Johnson

    "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -
    Charles, Count Talleyrand

    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
    it?" - Mark Twain

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
    - Mae West

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
    - Oscar Wilde

    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
    rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
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  3. spnadmin

    spnadmin United States
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    1947-2014 (Archived)
    SPNer Supporter

    Jun 17, 2004
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    Arvind ji

    You have probably started a trend. :rofl::rofl!!::rofl:
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