Hey guys! If you would answer, please let me know a little about yourself (aka heritage, are you punjabi, gora, etc.) This is mostly a qustion for the guys, but girls can answer too!
While everyone knows that there are many sexist issues in indian/punjabi families, no one really wants to talk about it. However, while talking to a friend, this question became stuck, and it would not leave.
My question is this: If a girl leaves her house to live separately, would you marry her, or treat her as one night stand material? Such as, does she lose all possible hope of respect?
Let me tell you how this comes about. Me and a friend were talking, about all the absolutely ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous things that we experience, as girls, in our own families (not even going into wider society). It borders on abuse. Sometimes it is. For some, it passes that. Oftern there is no choice but to leave. But she asked me, "Do you think we will still be able to get married if we move out?"
It breaks my heart every time I hear or think something like this.
I have seen the preferential treatment that boys get, within my own family and without. Why is it so horrible that a girl leaves, if only to save herself, without some pertinent excuse of school, work, or even military?
Are these girls doomed to bad matches and hearing things like "oh well, only a gora will marry you now, and you know they never stick around."
Please let me know what you think. Thanks.
edit: I know that during the partition (when girls and even old women were kidnapped nightly and raped, and there were men with enough honor to marry them)(which brings up the question of what is true honor?), and earlier times, if a girl spent any time out of the house it was fatal, but we're in the 21st century, not the fifth.
While everyone knows that there are many sexist issues in indian/punjabi families, no one really wants to talk about it. However, while talking to a friend, this question became stuck, and it would not leave.
My question is this: If a girl leaves her house to live separately, would you marry her, or treat her as one night stand material? Such as, does she lose all possible hope of respect?
Let me tell you how this comes about. Me and a friend were talking, about all the absolutely ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous things that we experience, as girls, in our own families (not even going into wider society). It borders on abuse. Sometimes it is. For some, it passes that. Oftern there is no choice but to leave. But she asked me, "Do you think we will still be able to get married if we move out?"
It breaks my heart every time I hear or think something like this.
I have seen the preferential treatment that boys get, within my own family and without. Why is it so horrible that a girl leaves, if only to save herself, without some pertinent excuse of school, work, or even military?
Are these girls doomed to bad matches and hearing things like "oh well, only a gora will marry you now, and you know they never stick around."
Please let me know what you think. Thanks.
edit: I know that during the partition (when girls and even old women were kidnapped nightly and raped, and there were men with enough honor to marry them)(which brings up the question of what is true honor?), and earlier times, if a girl spent any time out of the house it was fatal, but we're in the 21st century, not the fifth.
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