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Earrings, Rings, Make-up

truthseeker

SPNer
Aug 12, 2004
158
8
16
Ontario, Canada
Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!!

Today, i was at the store with my family and my mother wanted me to wear earrings. I already have my ears peirced from when i was a child but havent worn them for about 4 years now, except on the odd occassion when i was forced. SO ya my Grandmother ( who owns a jewellery store) gave me earrings and made me wear them, even tho i was crying soo much(not because of pain, but because personnally my Panj told me not to wear such things)At this very moment i am wearing them because i have no say in the matter. They, my family, say things like no boy is going to want to marry you because u dont dress up. And in my head i was thinking that if a guy likes me because i dress up and where make up then he really does not like me for who i am. It is what is inside that counts and thats the only thing that matters.
I have been told by many ppl that wearing make-up, and jewellery, after receiving Amrit is not allowed. And like i said b4, my Panj say that we shouldn't wear such things. SO sadh sangat...

What do you think i should do???

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!
 

Amerikaur

SPNer
Feb 20, 2005
146
9
America
Well...you could...

Tell your grandmonther that you have an well-educated American sister in the states that got all dressed up in pretty clothes and caught the eye of a handsome young doctor that all of my family just adored.

I mean, every parent wants their daughter to marry a doctor, right? We had dozens of people at our wedding, and so many people ooooohed and ahhhhhhed over what a wonderful couple we were.

Then you can buy a nice house in the suburbs and start thinking about a family and all these other things you are supposed to do and life is just so wonderful until things start falling apart and you end up bankrupted, emotionally, physically, and financially, by a seperation.

Then you can have friends that watch way too much television ask you why you didn't walk away with a zillion dollars when you left the courtroom with your divorce granted.

Or...

...you can look for a guy whose values matches yours....and chances are you will fare much better than your moorakh American sister.
 

A-A-A

SPNer
Jan 22, 2005
5
1
uk
To my sisters, Sat Sri Akaal.

Humbly, if I may offer my opinion. I would say let kindness be your guide. If your gandmother becomes happy by gifting you a pair of earrings, then wear them for that happiness. Thank her for them and promise you will wear them whenever you visit her and wearing them will remind you of her love and concern for you.

Please, try not to judge your elders too harshly. Yes, they worry at the thought of you not finding a suitable match. Is this the worse thing for a parent/grandparent to do? They wish only for your well-being. To many ,(my own parents included) their success as a parent is judged by them 'settling' their children. You must reassure them that Waheguru will find you a match when the time is right.

Make sure that you have the right reasons behind your decision. Abstention in any form can be seen as ritualistic. My belief is that Guru Ji never asked women to become men. Equality does not mean the eradication of all things feminine. Ask yourself, if you stood before Guru Ji wearing a pair of earings that made your elders happy - would he reject you?

Life is a cycle - I am just beginning to realise this. Doing/not doing certain things does not make one more spiritual. Rather, it is spirituality that makes all such things irrelevant.

Just my views - ultimatley whether you choose to go ahead or not, I beg you to allow kindness to be your guide.

Love and respect

AAA
 

GushK

SPNer
Oct 6, 2004
45
0
40
London
Although you are correct that it's the spirituality from inside that makes the difference, the external is also a reflection of the internal state.
A sikh's "uniform" of panj kakkars and leading a simple, honest life are reminders and guides to help us on the path.

Not to be rude, but the quote :-
"if you stood before Guru Ji and (insert whatever you want to do) - would he reject you? "

Is something many people use in defence of doing things which are against Sikhi, including Removing hair, drinkiing alcohol. etc.


If someone tells you to do something that compromises your beliefs and ideals. Let them know. Try and make them understand. Just because they are older doesn't mean they can't get things wrong.

A couple of examples... Some of my family tend to be superstitious...i.e dont go outside for a few minutes if you sneeze...they'd say, sit down, have something to drink..whatever that means!! so eveytime they did that..i'd flush the toilet and hop around on one leg as my version of "protection" to show them how silly they were being.
Another time..I was ill, Nanji ji came rushing over to "do something" with some salt to me (quoting some kinda evil eye curse) I had to sit her down and explain that I don't believe in such things...Guru is my keeper, what can a handful of salt do against that?...

Aditmittedly, these are a bit different but you get the point.
It's not necessarily to do with eqality but being firm to your principles. (No to mention that if the Punj told you not to, their authority overrules all, since they are Guru-roop)

Regards
Gursharan Singh
 

truthseeker

SPNer
Aug 12, 2004
158
8
16
Ontario, Canada
Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!!

Thank you everyone for your replies, they have certainly helped alot. The thing is that, they do not want to listen to what i have to say... when i did try to tell my Grandmother all she said was "koee na...tell them that I gave it to u as a present" Clearly was wasnt listening because im not gonna go up to my Panj and tell them that my Grandmother wants me to do something against what you told me, and that my whole family is freaking out on me for it.
Personally i feel that when i am wearing them, im like one of those manikin in a store window for everyone to see. I feel this way because i am bascially being forced to wear something that i really dont feel comfortable wearing.

I wore the earrings that day.. but after that i took them off, and atleast my mom didnt say anything about it. So hopefully maybe she understands where im coming from. I will be seeing my Grandmother soon, at the end of october( once for a samagam, and then one week later for their anniversary) Soo im a bit scared as to what she might say. Everyone will be dressed up ( im talking about the anniversary party) and im definatly not going to be wearing all that jewellery. My fear is that she will start all that commotion again... in front of everybody and then it will make me look like im a bad person cuz i dont listen to my elders.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!
 

rsingh

SPNer
Oct 2, 2005
19
13
London
Vaheguroo Jee Kaa Khalsa Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh

Phenjee why do you worry Guroo Ang Sang. Leave it to Guroo Jee and all will b right.
you stick to your rehit and dont let others tell you how to live. See it as a test and come out strong. you will have to fight for your faith in life, dont give in.

Dont worry about what others say, or the future (marriage) a Gursikh will marry a Gursikh. It is rehit for Bibian not to wear make up, earings etc and wear with pride there dastar.

Worry about gettin married when the time comes and when it does do ardas and with Guroo Jees kirpa you will find someone as great as you who follows rehit and lives a Gursikhi Jeevan. Anand Karaj of Gursikhs is aabout two people coming together as one. Looks, job, all these things are worldly, we need to look for soemone who has similar goals and ambhitions both worldly and spiritually.

Guroo Anng Sang, stay in Chardi Kala

Vaheguroo Jee Kaa Khalsa Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh
 

S|kH

SPNer
Jul 11, 2004
380
29
34
We Are PENN STATE!!
GushK said:
Although you are correct that it's the spirituality from inside that makes the difference, the external is also a reflection of the internal state.
A sikh's "uniform" of panj kakkars and leading a simple, honest life are reminders and guides to help us on the path.

Not to be rude, but the quote :-
"if you stood before Guru Ji and (insert whatever you want to do) - would he reject you? "

Is something many people use in defence of doing things which are against Sikhi, including Removing hair, drinkiing alcohol. etc.


If someone tells you to do something that compromises your beliefs and ideals. Let them know. Try and make them understand. Just because they are older doesn't mean they can't get things wrong.

A couple of examples... Some of my family tend to be superstitious...i.e dont go outside for a few minutes if you sneeze...they'd say, sit down, have something to drink..whatever that means!! so eveytime they did that..i'd flush the toilet and hop around on one leg as my version of "protection" to show them how silly they were being.
Another time..I was ill, Nanji ji came rushing over to "do something" with some salt to me (quoting some kinda evil eye curse) I had to sit her down and explain that I don't believe in such things...Guru is my keeper, what can a handful of salt do against that?...

Aditmittedly, these are a bit different but you get the point.
It's not necessarily to do with eqality but being firm to your principles. (No to mention that if the Punj told you not to, their authority overrules all, since they are Guru-roop)

Regards
Gursharan Singh

hahaha :}{}{}:

I used to do the same thing...except I used to turn on the faucets, and start splashing my face with water while hopping on one leg...

I used to get so creative with dissing their superstitions and caste system-beliefs lol
 

KulwantK

SPNer
Oct 31, 2007
164
40
Sat Nam, everyone!
Yes, it can be difficult at times, but there comes a time when you must stand up for what you believe in- stand for something or you will fall for anything!

I have also had the times where I would wear a pair of earrings given to me by my auntie, to give her a bit of happiness, but each time she would give a compliment to me, in an attempt to influence me to wear them all the time, I would say that I do not wear them all the time, since it is my practice to dress simply, with dignity, with the Five K's and the turban. For the first several conversations I would explain to her this is my way of being with The Divine all the time, that I have become Sikh because it is in my heart to do so, and that one should always follow one's heart as best as can be done especially when it comes to one's relationship with God. After five times of this way of conversation with her she understood and no longer asked me about the earrings. As I explained to her, following the Rehit is very important, and so I have continued to stand for it, and have gained respect amongst the family members.

Sometimes these sorts of things take time, but keep Rehit, do Simran and Sewa, and yes, rest assured, God and Guru will keep you covered in all ways!
Many Blessings to you, and please keep us all posted!
Wahe Guru,
KulwantK
 
May 22, 2007
27
12
W J K K – W J K F

AS HEARD FROM A SIKH MISSIONARY :-

LONG TIME AGO THEIR WAS A KING WITH SO MUCH OVERWHELMING LECHEROUS SEXUAL DESIRE (TO THE POINT OF MENTAL DISTURBANCE) THAT IT WAS SAID THAT NO WOMAN COULD ESCAPE HIS WRATH.

SO HE WAS OBSESSED WITH HIS DESIRE, BUT HE ALSO WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT NO WOMAM CAME TO HIS HAREM MORE THAT ONCE. HE ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE FRESH TASTE.

SO HE DEVISED A MEANS THAT WHICHEVER WOMAN HE HAD USED ONCE, HAD HER EARS PIERCED FORCEFULLY AND EARRINGS PUT INTO THEM.

SO MUCH SO FOR THE ADVENT OF EARRINGS. PLEASE DON’T TAKE THE STORY TO YOUR HEART, AS THESE ARE MEANS TO SLAP THE DEEP-IN-SLEEP SPIRIT AND BRING IT BACK TO IT’S SENSES.

OBVIOUSLY THE ABOVE IS NOT THE REASON WHY OUR MOTHERS & SISTERS HAVE THEIR EARS PIERCED, BUT WE SHOULD KNOW AND RECOGNISE THAT OUR RELIGION – SIKHISM IS THE MOST MODERN, FREE, INDEPENDENT & SIMPLE RELIGION THIS WORLD HAS TO OFFER. THERE ARE NO RITUALISTIC BONDAGES AS IN OTHER RELIGIONS.

THE SOLE RITUAL DEMANDED BY OUR GURUS IS NAAM-SIMRAN AND THAT TOO CAN BE PRACTICED AS AND WHEN AN INDIVIDUAL DESIRES. THERE IS NO FIXED WAY OF DOING IT, AND THERE IS NO FIXED PLACE WHERE IT IS TO BE DONE.

BUT THE REHAT MARIYADA (CODE OF CONDUCT) FOR AMRITDHARIS IS AN EPITOME OF SIMPLICITY THAT IS SO IMPORTANT TO WALK ON THE ROAD TOWARDS GOD. THERE IS NO MENTION OF WEARING EARRINGS, RINGS AND MAKEUP BECAUSE AS GUSHK MENTIONS :-
it's the spirituality from inside that makes the difference, the external is also a reflection of the internal state.
AND ALSO THAT MAKEUP IS AN INDICATION THAT AN INDIVIDUAL HAS NOT LET GO OF HIS/HER EGO BECAUSE HE/SHE IS TRYING TO SHOW OFF TO OTHERS.

ONE THING I WOULD LIKE TO MENTION THAT ONE CAN’T SHED HIS EGO ALL BY HIMSELF. ONLY DESTINY AND TAKING SHELTER IN THE GURU (HIS SHABAD) CAN FREE ONE OF HIS EGO, AND IF YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE THAN YOU SHALL EXPERIENCE THAT AS YOU WALK THE PATH TOWARDS GOD, ALL EGO AND MAKEUP IS SHED AWAY AND REPLACED BY UTTER SIMPLICITY. ALL WORLDLY DESIRES SHALL NOT TOUCH YOU, AND YOU SHALL BREAK THE BIRTH-DEATH CYCLE FOR EVER.

MAY WAHEGURU BLESS US.
 

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