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Does The Sikh Rehat Promote A 'healthy' Attitude Toward Sexuality?

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
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Jun 17, 2004
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re: Regarding Engagement and Rehat Maryada

if an engaged amritdhari sikh boy kisses his fianci (amritdhari ) does it make amrit pan khandit or is it bajar kuret ?

drvkashsingh13 ji


It means that the families did not insist on the centuries old and purely CULTURAL PRACTICE of keeping bride and bridegroom apart until the morning of the wedding, unknown to one another until that time.

Not only that it means that the couple are starting off their eventual years together comfortable with innocent expressions of affection.

Kissing your fiance is not one of the 4 kurehits and there are only 4. We are on the brink of Talibanizing Sikhi, and if we are not careful it will come to pass. And if we are not careful our credibility with the younger generation is going to collapse. We will see more conversions to other faiths than we think we see now.

p/s I am not sure how "amrit pan khandit" fits here; however a kiss is not going to divert anyone's attention from the deeper spirituality of their lives as amritdhari Sikhs, unless they have no clue to begin with. For them more than a kiss is needed to do the trick.
 

Harry Haller

Panga Master
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Jan 31, 2011
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Re: Regarding Engagement and Rehat Maryada

if an engaged amritdhari sikh boy kisses his fianci (amritdhari ) does it make amrit pan khandit or is it bajar kuret ?

if an engaged amritdhari sikh boy sleeps with several prostitutes......

Sikhism is not a religion of salvation, forgiveness, or a multitude of Hail Marys, you answer to yourself, there is no bearded deity floating on a cloud ready to forgive you, if what you do is the truth then your ok, if it is not, then you have to deal with the consequences, thats it, anything else is ritualised abrahamic game playing.

As a doctor you no doubt have to use your brain, rather than follow blindly what you have been taught, Sikhism is very much the same..
 

Kamala

Banned
May 26, 2011
389
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Canada.
What do you mean? I think it's obvious you can have a family in Sikhi. So what would planning have to do with anything?
 

Harry Haller

Panga Master
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Jan 31, 2011
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re: Dubda ?

If an Amritdhari asked the same questions you are asking, I would assume they did not have the required level of intelligence and thinking that an Amritdhari should have,

Maybe you need to find a way of life that has hard and fast rules that can be adhered to strictly and without the need for thought.

This obsession with forgiveness, have you considered catholicism? you can do what you want as long as you confess all on Sunday.

The answer is no, if you decide to spend an evening watching porn , or if you decide to kiss your fiance, neither constitutes a tankhaaya.

strangely enough, I think you were rather hoping that it did.
 

aristotle

SPNer
May 10, 2010
1,156
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Ancient Greece
re: Dubda ?

Vikash Singh Ji,

Sikh philosophy encourages us to control 'Kaam', or uncontrolled sexual desire. There is no 'punishment' for watching a porn movie. Rather than feeling guilty or being afraid of some punishment, Kaam ought to be controlled for one's spiritual and moral advancement.

However, intercourse with someone other than one's spouse is one of four bajar kurhits(prohibited acts) for an Amritdhari.
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
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Jun 17, 2004
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Later if this keeps up everything about kissing, watching racy TV and movies, and now family planning will either be merged under the heading Sex Education and the Amritdhari Sikh, or perhaps better yet 'deleted.'


Stopping here because the possible threads about sex and the Amritdhari Sikh are endless and border on cruelty in my opinion. So take my advice and stop it now.
 
Nov 1, 2013
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Gurpyaro the reason y i asked that question were these lines from rehatnama sahib damdami taksal that forced me to feel guilty of what i did



4. Haraam – Adultery, sexual relationships outside of marriage In Gurmat, entering sexual relationships outside of marriage is strictly forbidden for both men and women, thus the question of dating does not even arise. Husband and wife must be physically faithful to one another. People, who allow lust to overcome them, and violate this rule, will go to hell and enter other life forms
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
Gurpyaro the reason y i asked that question were these lines from rehatnama sahib damdami taksal that forced me to feel guilty of what i did



4. Haraam – Adultery, sexual relationships outside of marriage In Gurmat, entering sexual relationships outside of marriage is strictly forbidden for both men and women, thus the question of dating does not even arise. Husband and wife must be physically faithful to one another. People, who allow lust to overcome them, and violate this rule, will go to hell and enter other life forms

Veer ji

It is not clear why you are following the Damdami taksal rehat instead of the Sikh Rehat Maryada. So, we would not be able to provide intelligent replies without knowing your reasons. Yes, the Damdami Rehat will take you a a different direction, not only on sexuality, but in many other ways. Now that you have let us know you are following a different rehat, perhaps we can make this thread more informative.
 
Nov 1, 2013
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Is damdami rehat maryada different from sikh rehat maryada?sikh rehat maryada if youbwant to say it is from sgpc ? Well iam not against anyone the reason for posting here to get the sangat views to modify our lives so they r being liked by our satguru ji
 

Luckysingh

Writer
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Dec 3, 2011
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Perhaps you had amrit from Taksal panj pyarey.
I know it mentions dating, but this is in reference to promiscuous or sexual activites.
In the op, you mentioned kissing, which may be exchange of saliva as body fluid and nothing else. I seriously do NOT think this comes under the banner.
As far as I see it, dating is fine as long as sexual relations are not there.
Most religions have this basis and issue of 'sex outside marriage'.

Please note that, sex outside marriage is NOT' kissing outside marriage'.
 

Luckysingh

Writer
SPNer
Dec 3, 2011
1,634
2,758
Vancouver
Is damdami rehat maryada different from sikh rehat maryada?sikh rehat maryada if youbwant to say it is from sgpc ? Well iam not against anyone the reason for posting here to get the sangat views to modify our lives so they r being liked by our satguru ji

Sgpc is from akaal takht.
You could refer it as the governing and official body of Sikhs.
Their maryada is used as the universal standard.
However, we have many jathabandis that like to endorse their own, which is usually very similar with some extra additions and some areas which they redefine and elaborate on with finer details.

What you choose is up to you.
And what you choose, will dictate what the panj pyarey are most likely to tell you
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
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Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
I suppose it is a matter of opinion, however, I find the Damdami rahat dramatically different from the Sikh Rehat Maryada, if only in terms of the sheer number of add-ons. It is a 'bird of a different feather.'

The add-ons change the fundamental philosophy of the Sikh Rehat Maryada which was not intended to be a list prescriptive rules for daily living. The Sikh Rehat Maryada rather appeals to the rational application of common sense guidelines given what is found in the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and rehatnama of Bhai Nand Lal. It is simplicity itself.

The Sikh Rehat Maryada is also the outcome of years of panthic discussion. It has legitimacy because of those many years of deliberation and debate. The results are a boil down of what the broad quom agreed to. The alternative rehats did not evolve from a comparable democratic process. Any division within the quom that could not or would not sign on to the broad character of the Sikh Rehat Maryada removed itself from the process and founded its own.

One can even argue from history that the Damdami Taksal has no legitimate authority to issue a rehat as it had no legitimate oversight of Sikh affairs until the 1980's when it simply declared its own authority following the death of Bhindranwale. In other words, self-appointed authority. Individuals are free to chose this if they wish. Damdami has no 'panthic' authority.

Here at SPN is an entire thread that compares rehats. Forum members can judge for themselves. I would also think it advisable for forum members to read our many threads on the history of the Sikh Rehat Maryada to form a full awareness of how its final philosophy and form took shape. So many of the prohibitions and requirements that are literally tossed about on the Internet as "you must do this and may not do that" have no connection to the rehat.
 

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