Dawnnymph
SPNer
I am American and my boyfriend is a sikh, and he told me that your are not supposed to, or his mom is like that...so is that the way its supposed to be?
Dear friend,Dawnnymph said:I am American and my boyfriend is a sikh, and he told me that your are not supposed to, or his mom is like that...so is that the way its supposed to be?
Arvind said:Sher veer,
Just to note, the query is about 'going out with people (non-sikhs)', not about dating.
Regards.
ravisingh said:Personally, I do not see an issue in people of different faiths dating. There certainly is not any direct guidance as such from the sikh rehat or the scriptures. Often with Sikhism punjabi culture is seen as interwined with the religion --of course this is completely incorrect. What your boyfriend is describing is a sort of racism that is unfortunately rampant among punjabis
On the other hand, being a minority culture, there is always a tendency to want to protect it. Such protectionism is common among many minority cultural groups. In my humble opinion, this does not excuse it but I hope that it at least serves as an explanation. In most cases there will be an immense social stigma for the child not to date outside of the community (or to date at all). The fact that traditionally parents chose mates for their children is also partly to blame for the bias against dating. This is of course terribly old fashioned (it is very rare for parents to choose their child's mate these days) however, again, I hope that it serves as a sort of explanation for where he may be coming from.
take care,
Ravi Singh
Dawnnymph said:Thank you for your input everyone now i can fully understand...
A sikh cant "go out" with anyone FULL STOP.Dawnnymph said:I am American and my boyfriend is a sikh, and he told me that your are not supposed to, or his mom is like that...so is that the way its supposed to be?
Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!!!
Good point Singhstah veerji,
we ask sikhs are NOT to have any relationoships before marriage.
ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ॥
ik oankar sathiguraprasadhi||
One Oankar, the primal energy, realized through the grace of divine preceptor
1 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 204 Line 15
ਪੂਰਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਪੂਰੈ ਪੂਰਾ ਥਾਟ ਬਣਾਯਾ॥
poora sathigur janeeai poorai poora thhatt banaya||
One should understand the perfect true Guru who has created the grandeur (of creation) around.
2 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 204 Line 16
ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗ ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਮੰਤ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਯਾ॥
poorae poora sadhh sang poorae poora manth dhrirraya||
The holy congregation of the complete is perfect and that perfect has recited the perfect mantra.
3 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 204 Line 17
ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਪਿਰਮਰਸ ਪੂਰੇ ਗੁਰਮੁਖ ਪੰਥ ਚਲਾਯਾ॥
poorae poora piramaras poorae guramukh panthh chalaya||
The perfect has created the complete love for the Lord and has ordained the gurmukh way of life.
4 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 204 Line 18
ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਦਰਸਨੋ ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਸ਼ਬਦ ਸੁਣਾਯਾ॥
poorae poora dharasano poorae poora shabadh sunaya||
The sight of perfect is perfect and the same perfect has caused to hear the perfect word.
5 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 204 Line 19
ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਬੈਹਣ ਕਰ ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਤਕਥ ਰਚਾਯਾ॥
poorae poora baihan kar poorae poora thakathh rachaya||
His sitting is also perfect and his throne is also perfect.
6 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 204 Line 20
ਸਾਧਸੰਗਤਿ ਸਚਖੰਡ ਹੈ ਭਗਤ ਵਛਲ ਹੁਇ ਵਸਿ ਗਤਿ ਪਾਯਾ॥
sadhhasangath sachakhandd hai bhagath vashhal hue vas gath paya||
The holy congregation is the abode of truth and being kind to the devotee, He is in the possession of the devotees.
7 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 204 Line 21
ਸਤਿਰੂਪ ਸਚ ਨਾਉ ਗੁਰ ਗਿਆਨ ਧਿਆਨ ਸਿਖਾਂ ਸਮਝਾਯਾ॥
sathiroop sach nao gur gian dhhian sikhan samajhaya||
The Guru, out of his sheer love for the Sikhs, has made them understand the true nature of the Lord, the true name and the knowledge-producing meditation.
8 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 204 Line 22
ਗੁਰ ਚੇਲੇ ਪਰਚਾ ਪਰਚਾਯਾ ॥੧॥
gur chaelae paracha parachaya ||a||
The Guru has immersed the disciple in the way of life.
9 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 204 Line 23
ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ॥
ik oankar sathiguraprasadhi||
One Oankar, the primal energy, realized through the grace of divine preceptor
10 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 206 Line 15
ਪੂਰਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਪੂਰੈ ਪੂਰਾ ਥਾਟ ਬਣਾਯਾ॥
poora sathigur janeeai poorai poora thhatt banaya||
One should understand the perfect true Guru who has created the grandeur (of creation) around.
11 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 206 Line 16
ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗ ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਮੰਤ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਯਾ॥
poorae poora sadhh sang poorae poora manth dhrirraya||
The holy congregation of the complete is perfect and that perfect has recited the perfect mantra.
12 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 206 Line 17
ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਪਿਰਮਰਸ ਪੂਰੇ ਗੁਰਮੁਖ ਪੰਥ ਚਲਾਯਾ॥
poorae poora piramaras poorae guramukh panthh chalaya||
The perfect has created the complete love for the Lord and has ordained the gurmukh way of life.
13 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 206 Line 18
ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਦਰਸਨੋ ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਸ਼ਬਦ ਸੁਣਾਯਾ॥
poorae poora dharasano poorae poora shabadh sunaya||
The sight of perfect is perfect and the same perfect has caused to hear the perfect word.
14 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 206 Line 19
ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਬੈਹਣ ਕਰ ਪੂਰੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਤਕਥ ਰਚਾਯਾ॥
poorae poora baihan kar poorae poora thakathh rachaya||
His sitting is also perfect and his throne is also perfect.
15 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 206 Line 20
ਸਾਧਸੰਗਤਿ ਸਚਖੰਡ ਹੈ ਭਗਤ ਵਛਲ ਹੁਇ ਵਸਿ ਗਤਿ ਪਾਯਾ॥
sadhhasangath sachakhandd hai bhagath vashhal hue vas gath paya||
The holy congregation is the abode of truth and being kind to the devotee, He is in the possession of the devotees.
16 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 206 Line 21
ਸਤਿਰੂਪ ਸਚ ਨਾਉ ਗੁਰ ਗਿਆਨ ਧਿਆਨ ਸਿਖਾਂ ਸਮਝਾਯਾ॥
sathiroop sach nao gur gian dhhian sikhan samajhaya||
The Guru, out of his sheer love for the Sikhs, has made them understand the true nature of the Lord, the true name and the knowledge-producing meditation.
17 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 206 Line 22
ਗੁਰ ਚੇਲੇ ਪਰਚਾ ਪਰਚਾਯਾ ॥੧॥
gur chaelae paracha parachaya ||a||
The Guru has immersed the disciple in the way of life.
18 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 206 Line 23
ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ॥
ik oankar sathiguraprasadhi||
One Oankaar, the primal energy, realized through the grace of divine preceptor
19 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 518 Line 13
ਲੇਲੈ ਮਜਨੂੰ ਆਸਕੀ ਚਹੁ ਚਕੀ ਜਾਤੀ॥
laelai majanoon asakee chahu chakee jathee||
The lovers Lana and Majanu are well known in all the quarters of the world.
20 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 518 Line 14
ਸੋਰਠਿ ਬੀਜਾ ਗਾਵੀਐ ਜਸੁ ਸੁਘੜਾ ਵਾਤੀ॥
sorath beeja gaveeai jas sugharra vathee||
The excellent song of Sorath and Bija is sung in every direction.
21 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 518 Line 15
ਸਸੀ ਪੁੰਨੂੰ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਹੁਇ ਜਾਤਿ ਅਜਾਤੀ॥
sasee punnoon dhosathee hue jath ajathee||
The love of Sassi and Punnü, though of different castes, is everywhere spoken of.
22 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 518 Line 16
ਮੇਹੀਵਾਲ ਨੋ ਸੋਹਣੀ ਨੈ ਤਰਦੀ ਰਾਤੀ॥
maeheeval no sohanee nai tharadhee rathee||
The fame of Sohni who used to swim the Chenab river in the ht to meet Mahival is well known.
23 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 518 Line 17
ਰਾਂਝਾ ਹੀਰ ਵਖਾਣੀਐ ਓਹੁ ਪਿਰਮ ਪਰਾਤੀ॥
ranjha heer vakhaneeai ouhu piram parathee||
Ranjha and Hir are renowned for the love they bore each other.
24 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 518 Line 18
ਪੀਰ ਮੁਰੀਦਾਂ ਪਿਰਹੜੀ ਗਾਵਨਿ ਪਰਭਾਤੀ ॥੧॥
peer mureedhan pireharree gavan parabhathee ||a||
But superior to all is the love the disciples bear their Guru.They sing it at the ambrosial hour of morning.
25 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 518 Line 19
ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ॥
ik oankar sathiguraprasadhi||
One Oankar, the primal energy, realized through the grace if divine preceptor
26 Vaars Bhai GurdaasBhai Gurdas jiPage 625 Line 1
ਬਲਿਹਾਰੀ ਤਿਨਾਂ ਗੁਰਸਿਖਾਂ ਜਾਇ ਜਿਨਾ ਗੁਰਦਰਸ਼ਨ ਡਿਠਾ॥
baliharee thinan gurasikhan jae jina guradharashan dditha||
I am sacrifice unto those Gursikhs who go to have the glimpse of the Guru.
http://www.searchgurbani.com/main.php?book=amrit_keertan&action=pagebypage&page=625
As i have been taught over and over, Sikhism is 100% against dating. We are supposed to have one person in our life, and thats a wife. Dating is out of the question. While dating, many people have been through the stages of hugging, kissing, moslty intimacy. Sikhi says to control our Kaam, or sexual desire, thus if we date it increases our Kaam which we need to control. In brief, Sikhism is against dating.