Re: Trouble
Hanna, thanks for the information. You remind me, somewhat, of myself, when I was fourteen. Now I was no convert, and had genuinely fallen in love with Sikhi through personal experience growing up, going to gurdwara and hearing Sikh mythology, and so on. These 'nice' community things about Sikhism still exist for me, and they remain a great source of pleasure and proof of 'goodness' of community.
Around your age, I started reading b00ks, some websites and pamphets about Sikhism, and was at once taken in by the nicer things asserted about Sikhism. I took them on face-value, but its important to realise how this can lead to great frustration. What happens is that you read about how 'Sikhism believes in equality', and then when you compare that to what you see in ordinary sikh communities, you rarely see it existing. Actually, Sikh societies are never equal. They've never really been equal either. But this isnt the full story: for you'll find there is little in Sikh philosophy which forces injustice on certain people. For example, while in Islam, the female is obviously treated as inferior to male, you will not find such things in Sikhism. In sikhism, women are to be accorded the highest of respect for the services they render to society. If one is to summarise Sikh philosophy on equality it must be something like this:
While there are many differences in any given society, there will be many inequalities, and many who have much, and others who have little, this by itself is not a problem. But for the stronger to act or think injustly of the lesser, is to commit a fundamental moral error.
This means in practise that good Sikhs in general are against treating their daughters and mothers as inferior. You'll find that Sikh families give their daughters all the opportunities to achieve highly in school; they encourage them to have careers, and to be successful. Sikhs regard daughters as precious; and expect very highly from them. They are to be chaste: pure in sexual conduct, clean from drugs and alcohol, and honourable. These expectations may seem restrictive to us in the west, but if they are satifisfied, they also elevate the worth of the female to great heights. Put simply, a girl who meets the above criteria is considered by Sikhs very highly indeed. Ofcourse these are cultural norms, demanded by good society everywhere, and found in many other cultures throughout the world. There is hardly anything uniquely Sikh about them, but such traits are a part of good Sikh society.
But the point to note is that, while the above imply inequality of gender, because Sikh society restricts the freedom of Sikh women, it is, arguably a sensible restriction. Equality in Sikh society means quite simply, again injust descrimination. As long as there is no injust descrimination, and I believe, there isnt, in the above, then existing Sikh society is true enough to its ideals. In particular, a woman who is chaste and honorable is not being unjustly descriminated against. It is simply an expectation of her from society, which if she satisfies, she is most acceptable to it.
So here is what i think you should understand before you decide to become a Sikh: You might not find in Sikh community, the equality you desire. You will find in reality that sikh societies do not actively oppose inequality of gender. Indeed you may find that to most Sikhs, the idea of equality is bizarre and alien: they might never have even imagined it. If you suggest it to them, they might think you are crazy! This is what you should understand then, that Sikhs as they exist throughout the globe, often do not even know about equality of gender, and once they hear about it, they are going to think it is a joke, and hardly something to take seriously. Infact the reason for this is simply that, those who write about Sikhism have a different idea from most sikhs about sikhism, so what we read about Sikhism is inaccurate at describing Sikh society.
By saying the above, I wish to save you from the rather wasteful experience of getting into Sikhism for the reason of gender inequality, finding that Sikhs in general do not even know about inequality, and do not care for it, and certainly do not practise it, then becoming frustrated with Sikhs, and thinking, All is doom and gloom: that sikh society is ruinous because it fails to adhere to the principles of equality, and then giving up on Sikhism, because you've had enough of Sikhs who fail to live properly.
I wish to save you from such a fate, because it is completely avoidable. If you maintain realistic expectations of Sikhism, then you wont be dissapointed, but if you instead become a sikh from unrealistic expectations, then you will invariably become dissapointed and will quickly lose interest in Sikhism.
This is what i propose then: ask yourself what equality means to you. Articulate this to us. We'll tell you if what you expect from Sikhism is realistic and reasonable. If it isnt, then you need not waste years of your youth in needless frustration.
