General To Understand Someone

[Harpreet_Singh_]

I heard Yogi Bhajan say this once (I'm paraphrasing):
If you really want to help somone who has fallen (spiritually, mentally), you have to understand them. That is, you have to STAND UNDER them.

I think I understood a bit of what he meant today. Most times when I have tried to help people in a a difficult situation, I have stood from above and just pointed how I saw them (i.e. this is wrong, that is wrong with you). That does not help the person at all. You have to stand under ("understand") them to help them up.

If there is someone in your life or even you perhaps who needs help, yelling and simple judgements are not gonna help. Help the person up by standing under them or understanding them.

 

[spnadmin]

Harpreet Singh ji

Just my few thoughts about this... but it is a good image "to stand under them." That means a lot of things. Being a platform that is stable and does not fall down. Does that mean just being there for them? And not necessarily doing something or anything. That can make a person feel helpless. I know i always want to fix the thing that is wrong. But end up feeling helpless and unhelpful. Maybe that is wrong. Maybe just standing under them and never giving way is the best thing to do. It is probably the best place to be if we want to eventually understand what our friend is going through.

 

[Gyani Jarnail Singh]

Nice play on words..that..and also something to think about !!
YES "understanding" and "Standing Under"....
How many times do we get the response.."YOU are not understanding me....YOU dont understand.."
These are cries for HELP..or attempt to elicit ACCEPTANCE..at least "take a pause and have a look at what I am saying/undergoing....and HELP ME.
This Help could be substantial...or merely accepting the opposite viewpoint- and supporting by NOT ACTIVELY OPPOSING !!
Many times in order to "understand" we do have to stop..stoop down to the fallen and pick him up..lend him support..active understanding...others we just have to "close one eye" (Passive understanding )

 

[Harpreet_Singh_]

Maybe just standing under them and never giving way is the best thing to do. It is probably the best place to be if we want to eventually understand what our friend is going through.

I think that's the whole point of understanding somone. We should be not judging them for their situation, but simply be there to support them through.

I have done it myself and people have done it me. "Whats wrong with you? You look depressed. Cheer up. Stop acting acting like that. etc" They are symptoms, but are in no way the actual problem of the person. They don't help. If somehow, through Guru's kirpa we can show nimrata at this point, and just be through non-judgementally - we might be able to help and be helped.

WJKK
WJKF

 

[spnadmin]

Harpreet ji

There is a saying about understanding. You cannot walk in another man's mocasins (shoes). This was originally a Native American saying. Think of it. Our shoes stand under us, protect our feet, and give support. Understanding may be to stand under as if we are someone's shoes: holding them up and giving support without having opinions or making judgements.

 

[Tejwant Singh]

Standing under is like becoming the safety net of the tight rope walker.Sometimes unseen, unknown to him/her.

And what is the life of a tight rope walking Sikh?:

Khaneio tikhi valon niki- etei marg jahnah.
It is just not an event but a way of life of a Sikh.

And who is standing under?

Merah Satguru rakhvala hoa.
My Ik Ong Kaar is my safety net.

So if a Sikh wants to be outstanding as he/she is standing out with Baana, then a Sikh must learn how to stand under irrespective of which hue,creed or faith the tight rope walker belongs to.

Tejwant Singh

 

[spnadmin]

Very true Sometimes this means one must make an effort.

 

[Tejwant Singh]

Very true Sometimes this means one must make an effort.

Yes, indeed. Empathy does take more effort and understanding than sympathy, hence it teaches us how to truly stand under sans fear of the consequences.