(This post might be better in leisure, but some of the examples I'm about to give might generate some hard talk in themselves.) I'm putting myself out there with this post. Please be gentle with me! Can anyone suggest tips for being less judgmental? I will give you a summary of my morning, and perhaps the sangat here can tell me what their internal dialogue might be in these situations (so I might be able to modify my own internal dialogue into something more positive). I go to a very liberal Gurdwara. It is wonderful in it's openness. However, sometimes things happen which irk me. Today was a record breaker: I counted four individual happenings which irked me. Here's the abbreviated form of what happened: 1. I was sitting in sangat, a young lady (18 y/o perhaps) went to matha tek. She was wearing jeans. I'm over the jeans issue now, people can wear what they like. But when she bowed, she showed the top of her, um, bottom. That irked me. 2 and 3. People and children not covering their heads in darbar sahib (for the whole time or a few minutes thereof). 4. At langar, a family talking about cutting their daughter's hair, and not "forcing" her to keep it. No mention was made of any value of hair in Sikhi. I don't like this fundamentalist tendency I'm developing. I don't want to be mentally criticising people in my own sangat. I am no better than them, I have a million faults, but I need some tips to help me cultivate a sense of humility in the face of what I perceive to be disrespect or disregard for something I think is so precious. So, what would your internal dialogue be in these situations? Where can I place my thoughts so I don't have such a self-righteous and irksome attitude when I should be humble? Thank you for your help!!!