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The Voices In My Head

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
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The promised attempt to indulge in more Bani never happened, there is a lot going on at the minute, the irony being I would be much better placed to deal with it if I was in a better state of mind is not lost on me, it does beg the question what is stopping me,.

Another long bath yesterday, my mind is agitated, it is not at peace, I tried to focus on what I should be doing, but there are so many voices, so many thoughts, it is hard to know who I am sometimes.

I attempted to label each voice and thought, after a while I realised that most of my thoughts were thief related, any thought untainted by thieves therefore was fair game.

I have had arguments in my head from an early age, I thought most people did, the fight, the struggle between good and bad, only now I know it as the struggle between Creator and thief, I let my mind wander, my hair and beard is getting longer, given my bald patch, I look ridiculous, I could pass for a WWF Wrestler, without the muscle obviously, maybe I should just let it go, I thought, grow it out, put a patka on for a minute despite what dear Amanji thinks about patkas, I visualised myself, beard, turban, finally, a non sejh!, ok, so I thought, this must be the voice of Creators essence in me, I mean fantasising about wearing a turban and a beard, how could that be thief led?, I closed my eyes, felt the warmth of the bath around my body and retreated into my head looking for the thieves, finally, I found them, lust, rage, greed, attachment and ego. In a darkly lit room in my head, they sat there, influencing my every thought, my spoken word, my actions, of course some influence is a good thing, but to be honest, these guys run the show, so whose voice is telling me to grow my hair, no, not Creator, it is ego, it is ego telling me to present myself to the world as a fully fledged Sikh so that I can show everyone what a perfect specimen of Sikhi I have become, see how savvy these thieves are, they play mind games, they confuse, trick,

I counted about 16 different voices with a different point of view, there are 5 thieves and 1 Creator, so who are the other 10?, One of the voices seemed quite sensible, is that Creators voice, I wondered, so I asked it, no, its name was logic, I asked it of the other voices? who are they? Logic asked me to look at the room again, in the corner was a table, on which sat a small microscope, 'look in the microscope', so I did, I saw a single cell. 'That', Logic said, 'is the essence of Creator in you' 'But its only 1 cell!!', 'ok so now we try something, take this gag and put it on lust', so I did, 'now look', the single cell had become 2 cells, 'the more you show the thieves who is in control, the more cells you get, the more you let the thieves pull you, the cells halve, 1 is the lowest you can have, and an indication of how much you have become a slave not to Creator, but to the thieves.

Gag every thief, bound them, analyse every word, every thought, every action, everything that is not thief related is pure, its that simple, I looked in the microscope again, there were 27 cells, enough to form a small Ek Onkar, forget everything at this stage apart from doing everything you can to increase your Creator cell count, every new cell is a cell taken from the thieves,

How to increase this cell count?

Be honest, brave, read Bani, focus on the thoughts that are devoid of thieves, get your non thief related goals, act out of love,

So I have installed a filter, every thought now has to pass the test to see where it is from, any thought, any voice that is devoid of thieves is good, is pure, its that simple,

hmm that simple
 

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