The Mantra Of Successful Relationships


“The moment you think of giving up any relation, think of the reason why you held it so long.”

The relations are given the last priority in today’s modern materialistic world. A good relationship lies actually not in understanding a person thoroughly but in how well we avoid misunderstandings. The success lies not in moulding the other person according to your own choices, ideas and interests; it lies rather in accepting the differences and respecting the individuality of other person. Even in the closest of the relationships, a breathing space should be there. Don’t try to suffocate the other person with all your worries and don’t smother him with twenty hour care…give him/her the much-needed breathing space and you’ll have a healthy and flourishing relationship.

One more thing that needs to be kept in mind is that we should be open to suggestion. Nobody is perfect, we should always accept it. Controlling our anger is also of utmost importance. The best way to avoid a fight is that the person who is giving vent to his anger should be allowed to do so even when it is unjustified sometimes. The other person should keep his cool during that downpour. The things can be explained later on when things have cooled down. And then the mind can understand the logic behind the wrong arguments that had taken place earlier.

Having given a serious thought to all these factors (there are many more actually, I’ll keep on adding them…), the moment we decide to break off a relationship we must recollect all the beautiful memories associated with it. The result will be that from amongst the heap of the bitter moments, those cherished moments will shine bright and stand above the rest…and we’ll never ever walk away…it’s worth trying!

It is not that we have to understand and give our inputs every time. But sometimes lending an ear is of utmost importance, especially when we need it the most. Life is full of all sorts of varied experiences…some of which just go by but there are other which continue to nag us. So in that situation it becomes imperative that we express our pent up emotions. Give your partner an assurance that he/she is being listened to. The silence of the listener would also communicate in that situation. Show that you care. Of course, the demonstration of emotions is not always required. Sometimes it is of utmost importance that we are there when our partner badly needs our support. By being there we can do all that matters the most. Too much display of emotions would be too ostentatious, but still all human beings crave for a feeling that they are being taken care of. This is because we all want a cozy place, where we can feel at home and just be ourselves.

It is only trust that provides a strong foundation for building a lifelong relationship. Lies cannot be the stepping stones of a budding relationship. For being true to others we first have to be true to ourselves. This means confessing to our own self our weaknesses whenever we falter, or are incapable of doing a thing.

Another very important factor is commitment. And it is not something that binds us to a particular relation on the basis of some compulsion. Commitment is when we want to be bound in that relationship with all our heart and soul. It is something heartfelt. It also means to remain steadfast and not changing with the changing times, like fair-weather friends. We should not measure our wealth by the amount of money we have, but by the things we have which we won’t trade for any price. This is commitment in the true sense of the term, with no conditions attached; only dominated by the strings of heart. We don’t love a person for what he has, or because of what he has done but simply what he/she is – the selfless and unconditional love.

‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are two very short words. But a lot of problems are created when we don’t use these words carefully. Decide once and for all but once decided then stick to it. Don’t waver in your opinions. Commitment means being there for your partner now and forever.



Reference: Literary Jewels: The Mantra of Successful Relationships - part I


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