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Leisure Style And Sikhi

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
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Style is great. There is nothing against it that I have read. There is peer pressure to be modest, respectful, nice, etc., and to me that is nonsense. Such qualities need to be in the heart more than in apparel.

Let Sikhnis and Sikhs be as pretty/happy and as handsome/happy as they wish to be. Sikhism is not against fashion. We are all God's flowers and clothes are the petals in many a different colors in a wonderful mosaic that is vibrant and changing with the times.

Sat Sri Akal.
 

Ishna

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Don't say that, say that style is meaningless and shallow, because I have NO sense of style whatsoever!

Personal anecdote: In fact, I bought a particular salwar kameez when I was visiting Sydney Australia a couple of years back... I thought it was beautiful, they tailored it in for me, very nice and all. Now, usually when I go to Gurdwara I get comments on any new suit "your suit is so nice" etc,etc because I think they like the novelty of the pale, blonde whitey in bright Punjabi suits! However, when I wore my new suit to Gurdwara, I didn't get any comments on it at all... when I wore it a second time, one of the aunties called out across the kitchen "you look cute today!". Cute... I haven't heard that before. So I thought perhaps this isn't the right kind of suit to be wearing... maybe there is something not kosher about the colour or pattern because the rest of the suit is very modest and regular cut and all. So I don't wear it very often.

But I wore the suit last fortnight... and an auntie whose name I can't remember came up to me (she knew my name! how awkward!), and said "I was given a suit recently but I already have so many, and I think it would fit you, would you like me to bring it in for you?"

So I think I've confirmed my theory -- there is something off-putting about my suit! (which I thought was my best one!)

I'll take a picture and post it here, maybe you lot can tell me frankly "Ishna, you've bought a Bollywood outfit no respectable Gurdwara-goer would be caught dead in!" :grinningkaur:
 

Scarlet Pimpernel

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Isna Ji,I'm sure the Divine Guru Gobind Singh Ji looked stylish and had true substance ,I think you know more about Sikhi than the average 'Sunday Sikh' so you know you don't need to wear a Salwar Kameez to be a Sikh, that is just a North Indian cultural thing.I don't think the Divine Guru's gave fashion advice other than don't go naked and try to cover yourself with cemetary ash!I understand what you mean about shallowness, when I first tied a turban at twenty I gave my favourite flash clothing to a charity shop and donned very plain clothes, a young girl I worked with saw the change in my appearance and she nearly cried, I told her that fashion did not matter to me anymore as was trying to lose my ego, if only it was that easy!
 

Ishna

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I get the impression not only did Guru Gobind Singh Ji have style, but he would have had charisma! You can't buy charisma.

Although it's not required to wear salwar kameez, at my Gurdwara it is highly recommended. At first I didn't like that, but now I accept it wholeheartedly. It gives Darbar Sahib a sense of style! The suit has the added benefit of the 'bum flap' which covers your bee-hind when you matha tek. It enables modesty while sitting on the floor. It is comfortable on the floor, and the view is wonderful with all the colours of the other suits. It just feels right.

When I go there after work sometimes in my drab black corporate wear I feel dampened and uncomfortable.

But, the best part, if I want to go to Gurdwara in my drab black corporate wear, no one is going to stop me! peacesignkaur I will have committed no transgression!
 

Scarlet Pimpernel

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Isi Ji I don't go to Gurdwara very often, it's 20 miles away which puts me off and I'm allergic to seva anyway ,regarding the modesty aspect, if my memory serves me right their are some stout looking ladies in the sangat, so the length of the salwar may be a small mercy the men of the sangat should be thankful for.I personally feel Sikhi and Culture has got mixed up, see many going to church in their Sunday Best but that it is still just a smarter western attire,UK Punjabi girls where western clothes all week, then revert to their traditional punjabi attire on Sundays. I love to see colourful suits too but why do the men usually wear a shirt and trousers?
 

spnadmin

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Ishna ji

I am not sure about this.

So I think I've confirmed my theory -- there is something off-putting about my suit! (which I thought was my best one!)
A traditional wedding present is a salwar kameez for a new bride. This number would last her into her marriage a long time. In olden times, she might expect to receive 40 of them, a respectable number, all silk. Auntie may have thought you needed one or two more to be in the groove.
 

Ishna

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Okay, here we go! Please send children, the elderly and the squeamish OUT of the room! lol

The salwar are solid colour of the deep orange patches. They are baggy (I like baggy).

So it is really that crazy a suit??

Sinner ji: do you go to Gurdwara for special occasions? Like Vaisakhi?

And yeah, there are areas where Sikhi and Punjabi culture are tangled up, but some of the cultural heritage is healthy and doesn't need to be discarded -- what's wrong with someone wearing Western clothes during the week and a Punjabi suit to Gurdwara on Sundays? If I had my way I'd be wearing the suits all the time!

And I think the men usually wear western clothes to Gurdwara because women can get away with wearing salwar kameez in the west, but for men the traditional clothes look out of place and they probably feel too self-conscious to wear them.

At this last Vaisakhi (my first one! yay!), our Gyani wore a very, very nice suit (sorry I don't know what the name of the guy's outfit is), and had his gatra and kirpan on display and looked really, really stylish (when we told him how nice he looked he said he was dressing for Guruji, awe). I don't know what he wears when he's off-duty or out of the Gurdwara Sahib... only our Gyanis, Granthis usually wear traditional clothes, and a couple of the older men, the rest wear western.

And a rear-axle modesty panel doesn't seem as essential for the blokes (no offense, teehee) as the women, which you just don't get with Western clothes.

Admin ji: I think this auntie may have been married quite some time ago! But it does seem that Punjabi ladies have a suit for every day of the month! A couple of years ago I was chatting to a friend at Gurdwara (who has since moved on) who was new to Australia from Punjab and she said she literally had about 60 suits. I think she may have been from a well-to-do family.

BUT on the topic of style, it is interesting to note how many of the men wear leather (or leather-looking) jackets in Darbar Sahib! What's with that?? (not that there's anything wrong with it)
 

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Ishna behen ji
There is nothing off putting in your suit. It looks very nice and I am sure you will look graceful in it.
I think modesty needs to be in one's thoughts and not necessarily in clothes especially when visiting a Gurudwara.
It is not an uncommon to see girls wearing skirts and shorts to Gurudwara any more.
 

Scarlet Pimpernel

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Isi Ji,it is a nice salwaar and I'm sure you will turn heads in it ! To answer your question I rarely go even on those special occasions,but I'm a bit of a hermit by nature ,by the way there are lots of online places to get salwaars these days,I guess there is nothing wrong with Indian cultural fashion taking precedence in the Gurdwara ,however some indian girls do wear short dresses out to night clubs but would not dare enter a Gurdwara like that.It seems then to be a double standard and it is more to do with conforming to accepted standards.
 

Harry Haller

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Bhenji

It is a very nice suit, probably the first one I have seen for years, not including my mother. My wife normally spends most of her time in a vomit and pee stained nurses uniform, so its a lot more stylish than that.

My brother has style, I do not, both of us are guilty in my view, he, because he is attached to it, and me because I am averse to it. So I suppose the perfect style is one that is neither attached or aversed!
 

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
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Dec 21, 2010
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Some comments on many posts.

Isna Bhen,
"you look cute today!". Cute... I haven't heard that before. So I thought perhaps this isn't the right kind of suit to be wearing.
When an auntie says that, it is out of love as cute is very little used by Indians in a negative connotation. Just my experience. So it would be a complement.

But I wore the suit last fortnight... and an auntie whose name I can't remember came up to me (she knew my name! how awkward!), and said "I was given a suit recently but I already have so many, and I think it would fit you, would you like me to bring it in for you?"
This again is a positive statement. Someone cares enough and wants to see you look even more prettier. A motherly or sisterly love.
Sinner veer says,
I love to see colourful suits too but why do the men usually wear a shirt and trousers?
Sinner veer when were men supposed to have fashion sense! lol

however some indian girls do wear short dresses out to night clubs but would not dare enter a Gurdwara like that.
Would they dare to enter their Grandma and Grandpa's house? lol It is quite common for such age girls to take an outfit and change in someone's apartment or washrooms to go out. One for the house and one for the road!
Harry Haller veer says,
My brother has style, I do not, both of us are guilty in my view, he, because he is attached to it, and me because I am averse to it. So I suppose the perfect style is one that is neither attached or aversed!
Harry veer why you writing like Confused ji. mundahug All these thought rise and fall instatntaneously so don't matter much. Just be!
Be Happy and look happy.

Sat Sri Akal
 

Harry Haller

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Harry veer why you writing like Confused ji. All these thought rise and fall instatntaneously so don't matter much. Just be!

Ambersariaji,

I feel there is something to be learnt from everyone here, not a universal truth, but certainly a snippet in anothers philosophy that strikes a chord with oneself, without embracing the ideal that another has formulated, the idea of a non interventionist god, of judgement being around you, these concepts that I hold dear were verified and validated by non other than you, the concept of aversion is new to me, and it was not until I read Confusedji's reply to my own questions that I understood that it was as bad as attachment, it certainly did not influence me, any more than your wonderful writings on consonance, it just explained certain facets of my personality, and allowed me to understand myself better.

Nothing flows with me veerji, and I envy anyone for whom it does
 

Harry Haller

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Leeji,

fellow t shirt wearing grunger! me neither, however, I would be interested to know how you feel about your wifes fashion sense, if mine dressed like me, I would be gutted!!
 

Lee

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May 17, 2005
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Leeji,

fellow t shirt wearing grunger! me neither, however, I would be interested to know how you feel about your wifes fashion sense, if mine dressed like me, I would be gutted!!

Hahah Harry ji,

Well now that is striking hard at the matter.

My wife works in fashion retail and so has great interest in it. I tell her no matter what she parades in front of me that she looks beautifull in it. This is simple truth, I don't get fashion, I have never been interested in it, and so whatever she wares looks fine to me.

Honestly she looks good in a bin bag!
 

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
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Dec 21, 2010
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Harry veer why you writing like Confused ji. All these thought rise and fall instatntaneously so don't matter much. Just be!

Ambersariaji,

I feel there is something to be learnt from everyone here, not a universal truth, but certainly a snippet in anothers philosophy that strikes a chord with oneself, without embracing the ideal that another has formulated, the idea of a non interventionist god, of judgement being around you, these concepts that I hold dear were verified and validated by non other than you, the concept of aversion is new to me, and it was not until I read Confusedji's reply to my own questions that I understood that it was as bad as attachment, it certainly did not influence me, any more than your wonderful writings on consonance, it just explained certain facets of my personality, and allowed me to understand myself better.

Nothing flows with me veerji, and I envy anyone for whom it does
Harry Haller veer ji, I was just doing tongue-in-cheek or yanking your chain as I might say. Nothing more.

Confused ji is a brilliant man. I have learnt more about true Buddhism and life also through his posts. Yourself and Confused ji are couple of the brilliant and lucid writers on this forums.

Thank you.

Sat Sri Akal.
 
Jul 13, 2004
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Guru Gobind Singh lived the life style of Badshaha'n De Badshah... Ordered His Singhs to live as Saint Soldiers... Commanded His Singhs to have kesh and dastaar, something that was reserved for leaders or kings only. So yes, I am totally with the idea to dress smart and the best, not with an idea of show off, but to have the honor that we belong to Guru Sahib.

In fact, I strongly recommend SPN to have a new forum 'Sikh Styles or Fashion etc.' where the members share their best looking turbans, well groomed moush, beards ,share their techniques... and for sisters, share their best looking suits, chunni, colors etc... but well, why I am thinking that they will run to buy the same things and start a cyber :swordfight-kudiyan:..... aahhh, I better keep quiet :grinningsingh:

With Regards.
 

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