• Welcome to all New Sikh Philosophy Network Forums!
    Explore Sikh Sikhi Sikhism...
    Sign up Log in

So Why Call Her Bad? From Her, Kings Are Born!

Jan 6, 2005
3,450
3,762
Metro-Vancouver, B.C., Canada
Shining a light on honour killings' dark corner

652b5735480cb466b91ebdbac683.jpeg

HANDOUT, VANCOUVER PROVINCE/THE CANADIAN PRESS PICTURE ARCHIVE (left), FACEBOOK
Amandeep Atwal, left, was killed by her father; Aqsa Parvez's father and brother await trial in her death.


One Canadian expert on honour killings believes mental illness may play a role

July 25, 2009 - THE STAR, Toronto
Daniel Dale
STAFF REPORTER


We are shocked, naturally, when it is alleged that honour killings have occurred in Canada. They seem alien, inaccessible, at odds with everything we know about our country. How could a primitive thing like that happen in a progressive place like this?

Curiously, the very cultural permissiveness that makes such crimes so jarring may help explain what leads to their occasional perpetration in North America and Europe.

Honour killings, as the four Kingston canal deaths may or may not have been, are those committed against females whose suspected social transgressions are perceived to have shamed family members, usually males. Liberal societies provide opportunities for social experimentation that may not exist in some immigrants' native lands.

"It's easier for women to say, `Maybe I'll live by myself,' or `Maybe I'll live with another woman,' when they're not in some of the countries that they're coming from," says Marianne Mollmann, advocacy director for women's rights at Human Rights Watch.

"The decision to not conform to the gender role you're supposed to play, that's what often leads to violence within the family. Where there are more opportunities for that, that could create a situation of abuse. But it's just so hard to say."

Where honour killings are concerned, it is hard to be definitive about much. Nobody knows how many occur each year, though they certainly number in the thousands; statistics are spotty, the motivations of perpetrators impossible to comprehensively catalogue.

Kingston police would not say why they have charged the father, mother and brother in the deaths of three Montreal teenage girls. Chief Stephen Tanner said the behaviour of one or more of the girls may have been a factor.

Honour killings occur for a variety of reasons. A 2005 Cairo Association of Legal Aid for Women paper discussed cases in which women were killed for becoming pregnant outside of wedlock or through incest, for committing adultery, or merely for being the subject of community gossip.

The killings occur most often in Muslim-majority countries in the Middle East, North Africa and South Asia. Islam does not sanction them, however, and non-Muslims also commit them.

In 2005, a Christian Palestinian man killed a daughter who wanted to marry a Muslim. In 2003, the Sikh father of British Columbia's Amandeep Atwal, 17, killed her when he learned she was dating a white boy.

The father and brother of the late Mississauga teen Aqsa Parvez, 16, are awaiting trial for her 2007 strangulation death. Parvez, friends have said, refused to accept her family's demand that she wear the hijab. However, other friends dispute the allegation.

Honour killings tend to occur in communities "that control every aspect of women's lives, including their body, speech and behaviour," says Lindsay Mossman, an Amnesty International Canada campaigner for women's human rights.

Ill-informed religious zealotry animates some "honour" murderers. Some perpetrators are encouraged by cultures that tolerate or encourage their violence. And in some countries, honour killing is legitimized by sexist law. Under Iraq's penal code, for example, an "honour" defence can reduce a prison sentence from life to one year.

Culture and law, however, cannot be solely blamed for the phenomenon. The great majority of residents of patriarchal societies with lenient laws do not kill. Amin Muhammad, a Memorial University of Newfoundland psychiatry professor who has studied the relationship between honour killings and mental health, says he believes some honour murderers have undiagnosed mental illnesses.

"We have found psychopathic traits in people who are perpetrating this crime," he says. "You know that mental illness is a taboo, a stigma, here also; people from that part of the world, they don't approach a mental health specialist."

Alia Hogben, executive director of the Canadian Council of Muslim Women, says the question of whether the Kingston murders were prompted by honour concerns should not distract from the basic facts of the case.

"Whatever the rationale is," she says, "whether they think they're doing it for the honour of their family, or because they're jealous, or because they want to control the women – all that becomes, of course, interesting to discuss. But it shouldn't take away from the focal point, the fundamental issue: that women were killed."

source: TheStar.com - Canada - Shining a light on honour killings' dark corner
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
"Whatever the rationale is," she says, "whether they think they're doing it for the honour of their family, or because they're jealous, or because they want to control the women – all that becomes, of course, interesting to discuss. But it shouldn't take away from the focal point, the fundamental issue: that women were killed."

ਾਜੀਆ ਬਾਮਣਾ ਕੀ ਗਲ ਥਕੀ ਅਗਦੁ ਪੜੈ ਸੈਤਾਨੁ ਵੇ ਲਾਲੋ ॥
kaajeeaa baamanaa kee gal thhakee agadh parrai saithaan vae laalo ||
The Qazis and the Brahmins have lost their roles, and Satan now conducts the marriage rites, O Lalo.


ਮੁਸਲਮਾਨੀਆ ਪੜਹਿ ਕਤੇਬਾ ਕਸਟ ਮਹਿ ਕਰਹਿ ਖੁਦਾਇ ਵੇ ਲਾਲੋ ॥
musalamaaneeaa parrehi kathaebaa kasatt mehi karehi khudhaae vae laalo ||
The Muslim women read the Koran, and in their misery, they call upon God, O Lalo.


ਜਾਤਿ ਸਨਾਤੀ ਹੋਰਿ ਹਿਦਵਾਣੀਆ ਏਹਿ ਭੀ ਲੇਖੈ ਲਾਇ ਵੇ ਲਾਲੋ ॥
jaath sanaathee hor hidhavaaneeaa eaehi bhee laekhai laae vae laalo ||
The Hindu women of high social status, and others of lowly status as well, are put into the same category, O Lalo.


ਖੂਨ ਕੇ ਸੋਹਿਲੇ ਗਾਵੀਅਹਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਰਤੁ ਕਾ ਕੁੰਗੂ ਪਾਇ ਵੇ ਲਾਲੋ ॥੧॥
khoon kae sohilae gaaveeahi naanak rath kaa kungoo paae vae laalo ||1||
The wedding songs of murder are sung, O Nanak, and blood is sprinkled instead of saffron, O Lalo. ||1||


ਸਾਹਿਬ ਕੇ ਗੁਣ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਗਾਵੈ ਮਾਸ ਪੁਰੀ ਵਿਚਿ ਆਖੁ ਮਸੋਲਾ ॥
saahib kae gun naanak gaavai maas puree vich aakh masolaa ||
Nanak sings the Glorious Praises of the Lord and Master in the city of corpses, and voices this account.

Ang 722/723



 

Tejwant Singh

Mentor
Writer
SPNer
Jun 30, 2004
5,024
7,183
Henderson, NV.
1.How can one call this kind of dishonour as honour killing?

2.Honour about what?

3.Honour about not shortening the so called generation gap?

4.Honour about not understanding the nature and the culture the kids are brought up by not their own choice?

5.Honour about not finding ways to getting closer to the children out of arrogance and ignorance?
6.Honour about not educating oneself as a parent ?

7.Honour about imposing the old ways no matter what the consequences may be?

8.Honour about ego and "my way because I know more because I am older" baloney?

9.If a parent knows more than the child which he/she does, then doesn't that knowledge make his/her duty to build up understanding with the kids by getting closer and feeling and knowing their inner needs and desires?

10.How can one claim to know more if one fails to understand one's own off springs?

11.Honour about demanding respect without instilling love in the children?

12.Honour about being parochial minded, hence not having tools to develop inner manifestation of love in the kids?

13. Honour about demeaning the kids at every chance one gets?

One can carry on and on.....

Honour, my back side of the anatomy.

Tejwant Singh
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
2,743
44
INDIA
She died because she didn’t bring an AC







She was driven to death, allegedly because she did not bring in an air conditioner. 22-year-old Preeti Kaur was found hanging from the ceiling fan in her room at her husband's residence in Moti Nagar.
Police said she committed suicide because she was being harassed by her in-laws for not bringing in “enough” dowry.
According to police, Kaur and Sarabjeet Singh, a call centre employee in Mayapuri, got married three months back. The deceased had also been working in the same organisation. She resigned after she got married.
Incidentally, Sarabjeet Singh also left his job a few days ago.
The West Delhi Police have registered a case of dowry death and have arrested Preeti's mother-in-law, Rajender Kaur (47) and Sarabjeet Singh (24).
“We received a PCR call around 6.30 pm. We sent her to the DDU Hospital where she was declared brought dead. A SDM enquiry was ordered and it was on his recommendations that we lodged a relevant case," said Deputy Commissioner of Police
(West) Sharad Aggarwal.
The deceased's mother, Amarjeet Kaur, alleged her daughter often complained of dowry harassment.
"I would ask her to adjust herself in a new place. I said everything would be normal after a couple of months. I was so wrong."
Preeti’s brother, Lucky alleged that his family was first informed by her in-laws that Kaur was ill on Sunday evening. "We were informed about the death much later," he said.
The police said they are investigating why Sarabjeet had given up his job.
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Jimmy Carter breaks
with Southern Baptists
over the status of women
[/FONT]​
hscarter2.jpg

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Former President
Jimmy Carter
[/FONT]​
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] "Women and girls have been discriminated against for too long
in a twisted interpretation of the word of God."
Jimmy Carter
[/FONT]​
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
July 15, 2009 - I HAVE been a practicing Christian all my life and a deacon and Bible teacher for many years. My faith is a source of strength and comfort to me, as religious beliefs are to hundreds of millions of people around the world. So my decision to sever my ties with the Southern Baptist Convention, after six decades, was painful and difficult. It was, however, an unavoidable decision when the convention's leaders, quoting a few carefully selected Bible verses and claiming that Eve was created second to Adam and was responsible for original sin, ordained that women must be "subservient" to their husbands and prohibited from serving as deacons, pastors or chaplains in the military service.

This view that women are somehow inferior to men is not restricted to one religion or belief. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths. Nor, tragically, does its influence stop at the walls of the church, mosque, synagogue or temple. This discrimination, unjustifiably attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for the deprivation of women's equal rights across the world for centuries.

At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.

The impact of these religious beliefs touches every aspect of our lives. They help explain why in many countries boys are educated before girls; why girls are told when and whom they must marry; and why many face enormous and unacceptable risks in pregnancy and childbirth because their basic health needs are not met.

In some Islamic nations, women are restricted in their movements, punished for permitting the exposure of an arm or ankle, deprived of education, prohibited from driving a car or competing with men for a job. If a woman is raped, she is often most severely punished as the guilty party in the crime.

The same discriminatory thinking lies behind the continuing gender gap in pay and why there are still so few women in office in the West. The root of this prejudice lies deep in our histories, but its impact is felt every day. It is not women and girls alone who suffer. It damages all of us. The evidence shows that investing in women and girls delivers major benefits for society. An educated woman has healthier children. She is more likely to send them to school. She earns more and invests what she earns in her family.

It is simply self-defeating for any community to discriminate against half its population. We need to challenge these self-serving and outdated attitudes and practices - as we are seeing in Iran where women are at the forefront of the battle for democracy and freedom.

I understand, however, why many political leaders can be reluctant about stepping into this minefield. Religion, and tradition, are powerful and sensitive areas to challenge. But my fellow Elders and I, who come from many faiths and backgrounds, no longer need to worry about winning votes or avoiding controversy - and we are deeply committed to challenging injustice wherever we see it.

The Elders are an independent group of eminent global leaders, brought together by former South African president Nelson Mandela, who offer their influence and experience to support peace building, help address major causes of human suffering and promote the shared interests of humanity. We have decided to draw particular attention to the responsibility of religious and traditional leaders in ensuring equality and human rights and have recently published a statement that declares: "The justification of discrimination against women and girls on grounds of religion or tradition, as if it were prescribed by a Higher Authority, is unacceptable."

We are calling on all leaders to challenge and change the harmful teachings and practices, no matter how ingrained, which justify discrimination against women. We ask, in particular, that leaders of all religions have the courage to acknowledge and emphasize the positive messages of dignity and equality that all the world's major faiths share.

The carefully selected verses found in the Holy Scriptures to justify the superiority of men owe more to time and place - and the determination of male leaders to hold onto their influence - than eternal truths. Similar biblical excerpts could be found to support the approval of slavery and the timid acquiescence to oppressive rulers.

I am also familiar with vivid descriptions in the same Scriptures in which women are revered as pre-eminent leaders. During the years of the early Christian church women served as deacons, priests, bishops, apostles, teachers and prophets. It wasn't until the fourth century that dominant Christian leaders, all men, twisted and distorted Holy Scriptures to perpetuate their ascendant positions within the religious hierarchy.

The truth is that male religious leaders have had - and still have - an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter. Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world. This is in clear violation not just of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights but also the teachings of Jesus Christ, the Apostle Paul, Moses and the prophets, Muhammad, and founders of other great religions - all of whom have called for proper and equitable treatment of all the children of God. It is time we had the courage to challenge these views. --

Jimmy Carter was president of the United States from 1977 to 1981.
[/FONT]​
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
2,743
44
INDIA
Jimmy Carter's mother did social work in India.A village in Haryana is named carterpur after Jimmy carter visited it.

What work did Jimmy Carter's mother do in India? - Blurtit

At the age of 67 Jimmy Carter's mother Lillian Carter joined the Peace Corps. She travelled to http://www.blurtit.com/q228318.html#India where she was helping the poor and sick for over 21 months. She travelled first to New http://www.blurtit.com/q228318.html#Dehli and from there to Bombay; there 35 kilometres from the city at an industrial park owned by Godrej she worked at the Family Planning Clinic. Determined to serve those who she would benefit most she worked at Dr.

Bhatia's Clinic and confronted human suffering head on. She even worked with lepers. The suffering she saw in India likes of which she had not witnessed any where before moved and disturbed her greatly. Some of the pain http://www.blurtit.com/q228318.html# she felt for those around her found its way into her letters which she would write to those at home. She was also appalled at the attitude of the Indian people who showed at times a total disregard for the suffering around them. Dr. Bhatia warned her that the people she worked in India would miss her a lot after she left.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
2,743
44
INDIA

daughter-1.jpg


Above: Receptacle where unwanted babies are dropped off anonymously. Immediately below (third photo from bottom): The cradle receptacle, as seen from the interior of the Home. All photos are by the author.

partitionSeries-box-Aug1-09.jpg
article-detail.php

daughter-2.jpg


daughter-3.jpg


daughter-4.jpg



sikhchic.com | The Art and Culture of the Diaspora | Unique House Serves Unique ... And Urgent Need!People

Unique House Serves Unique
... And Urgent Need!by MANVIR SINGH



Punjab is land of the Great Gurus, the land of prosperity, and the land of great saints and warriors.
Yet, inexplicably, it is stained with the sin of killing its baby daughters.
According to the Punjabi University, every fifth household in Punjab commits female foeticide.
During a recent trip to India, we went to the local gurdwara in Preet Nagar in Jalandhar, Punjab.
Bhai Parminder Singh from Amritsar (a parchaarak - preacher - sent by the Dharam Parchaar Committee, Amritsar) was doing kathaa (discourse) that evening. His kathaa was very simple, but effective. The way he spoke was very easy to understand and he got across our Guru's message really well.
Bhai Sahib said something which echoed in my ears: "Mothers have made their wombs into graveyards."
Bhai Sahib was speaking about abortion and how many Punjabis - not to mention the greater, all-pervasive problem across India - are killing their baby daughters before being born. I was glad to hear this active parchaar being done in the gurdwaras of Punjab.
The next day, my mum and I went to visit a place called "Unique Home", which is being run by the Bhai Ghanayya Ji Charitable Trust.
The Trust was established in 1993 with the goal of working towards the "Moral, Social, Cultural and Economic uplift of orphan children without any distinction of Caste, Creed and Religion".
The Unique Home looks after unwanted, unclaimed or orphaned children who have been discarded or neglected by society. Baby girls are found by roadsides, dumped near streams, or even left during the night in a baby cradle outside the Home.
The Unique Home is currently looking after 52 girls, mostly young children.
The main spirit behind this institution is Bibi Prakaash Kaur, whose aim is to rehabilitate those people whom society has disowned. The current seva is being done by Bibi Gurdip Kaur, who is the President of Bhai Ghanayya Ji Charitable Trust. Despite her old age, she is fully devoted to the service of the children.
Even though we had visited the Home without advance notice, we received a very warm welcome from the sevadaars.
When we entered, a young girl, probably 11 years old, shared a GurFateh with us and asked us to take a seat in the office room for visitors. Bibi Gurdip Kaur was away that day; another Sardarni was looking after all the children alone.
She came downstairs and warmly greeted us. She offered to get the children ready for us to meet them. Whilst we waited, a young girl aged perhaps 13 or so, came and asked us "What would you like to drink?"
I replied, "We are fine, thank you."
The girl then said, "We don't have anything to offer you. But can you kindly accept a cup of tea made by me as a form of parshaad (gift) from all the children?" I was left speechless and moved by the young girl's innocent love and accepted to drink a cup of tea made by her.

After a little while, the Bibi in charge came to get us and took us upstairs.
The home itself was much smaller than I had expected. She took us to a room that had a number of metal baby cradles. Inside the cradles were babies that had been abandoned or dropped off and were now being cared for at the Home.
It was really sad to see that there were at least a dozen or so, and I thought: how does one or two of these Sardarnis manage to change all their nappies and look after them all, in addition to looking after the elder children.
There was one little girl with Down Syndrome, standing there, smiling away at us. The Bibi hugged the girl and began to do simran with her. It was beautiful to see the Down Syndrome child hugging the elder woman and repeating "Waheguru ... Waheguru ..." after her.

I was amazed at the seva of these women who have given up their own lives, their own families, and their own aspirations, to live in the Guru's Hukam (Will) and dedicate their lives to rebuilding the lives of children who otherwise wouldn't have any life.
We learnt that the older girls in the home took care of the younger babies and they all supported each other as one large family. It was amazing to hear how some of the elder girls of the Home had been inspired by the dedication of Bibi Gurdip Kaur, elected not to get married and to commit their own lives to the care of the younger children.
Waheguru! These were the hidden gems of Punjab that were quietly going about, doing their seva.

After spending some time talking to the Bibi, we learnt about the astounding work they did by ensuring that all the girls were educated in English schools and, at a later stage, married into suitable homes.
All of this is done without any government support or funding, which is an immense challenge for the founder, Bibi Prakaash Kaur, and the other Gursikh caregivers.
Near the end of our visit, all the children got together and repeated the punj pauriaan of Japji Sahib and had a group photo taken with us. It was so nice to see the children get excited over seeing their own photo in the camera. There was one young girl (less than two years old), who had tears in her eyes.
But when you wiped them, the tears still didn't seem to disappear. It was as if the girl had permanent tears in her eyes. It was sad to see.
Despite our attempts to cheer her up, she looked very, very sad. Only the Guru knows what trauma the child had gone through. May Waheguru do kirpaa (shower His blessings) on all these children and the sevadaars.
Please do support the Bhai Ghanayya Ji Charitable Trust and the Unique Home by visiting the Home and giving a small donation or donating some clothes. Any help and support would be greatly appreciated by the sevadaars.
And please pass this request on to all your relatives and friends who are going to visit Punjab in the near future.
Their address is: The Unique Home, 1082-B Model House, Taran Wali Gali, Jalandhar, Punjab. Tel: 01.81.227.6066


[Manvir Singh lives in the United Kingdom.]
May 10, 2009






<img id="lightboxImage">



 
Jan 6, 2005
3,450
3,762
Metro-Vancouver, B.C., Canada
Female Foeticide: A Curse of History

By KHUSHWANT SINGH

Long ago, girls were killed to protect them from Muslim invaders. Now, it's dowry.

Punjab has a long history of doing away with newborn girls. The preferred method today is foeticide after a sex determination test, but centuries ago the practice was to bury them. This tradition perhaps goes back to the days of repeated invasions by Muslim armies from the northwest, who used to carry off girls as booty for their own pleasure or to be sold in the slave markets of the Middle East. Today, it is the extortionate dowries that parents of girls have to provide upon marriage. The custom of polyandry in Punjab probably arose out of the shortage of girls - the eldest son of a family would take a wife, his younger brothers would also have access to her.

One of Guru Nanak's oft quoted hymns condemns the denigration of women: 'We are born of women and nurtured by them, we fall in love with them and they bear us sons and daughters. How can you belittle women who give birth to kings?' His words had little impact - the killing of newborn girls continued as before, though practised more among the land-owning zamindars than by the common folk.

At the end of the first Sikh war, when the British annexed half of the Sikh kingdom, the Sikh zamindars of the region met John Lawrence, who had been appointed commissioner, to confirm their land holdings. He insisted on their signing pledges that they would not bury lepers alive, refrain from burning widows and stop burying newborn girls. The zamindars protested, saying Lawrence had promised that the two sides would not interfere with each others' religious customs. Lawrence agreed that he had indeed done so, adding that British religious custom was to hang anyone who followed these practices. That put an end to sati and the murder of lepers, and though female infanticide was checked it probably continued surreptitiously.

After Independence, and the passing of the Hindu Code Bill giving equal rights to inherit ancestral property to sons and daughters, things again took a turn for the worse with the murder of newborn girls gaining momentum, especially in propertied families. With medical science able to detect the sex of the child in the womb, the practice has become much more widespread, resulting in a situation today where the ratio of females to males in Punjab is the lowest in the country.

Religious leaders and institutions like the S.G.P.C. and the Akal Takht make only feeble attempts to put down this criminal practice and their efforts have failed miserably. Kuree Maar (daughter-killer) is a common abuse in Punjab - an abuse that those who indulge in the practice have learnt to take in their stride.
 

Vikram singh

SPNer
Feb 24, 2005
454
412
Around India young women are becoming victims of a crime that is robbing them of their virtues and their wealth.
Every year parents from Britain take their ‘looser sons’ to India and allow them to destroy the lives of innocent girls who crave for a life in Britain – or so they think
Many of these culprits are Sikhs, they have plagued the Punjab, with thousands of girls who have become bride and signed their lives to misery and pain, as they allow themselves to be robbed of the ‘virginitty’ become objects that give these bachelors a ‘wwhhoore’ on command whilst they are on holiday, with never a thought to these women once they return to Britain.
Rahuk Bedi has written of the misery Jaswant Kaur who is one of more than 15,000 'holiday wives' spread across India's northern Punjab state who, after years of abandonment, still awaits her husband's return from Britain.
A fortnight after their lavish wedding in the border district of Gurdaspur, Karamjit Singh - considered a prize 'catch' for most Punjabi parents wanting their daughters married as he was a non-resident Indian settled abroad - left for London.
He promised his excited 21-year-old bride, who had never left her small town, that he would send her immigration papers within weeks to enable her to join him.
The groom and his family also carried away 700,000 rupees ($21,867.73) in dowry and gold ornaments which the bride's parents had raised by mortgaging their small plot of land and house.
Eleven years later, Jaswant Kaur still waits for news from her husband.
"We now learn that he already had a wife and two children in London when we were married" Kaur said.
"For him I was nothing but a sexual dalliance and a source of gratification for his greed in the dowry.
"Along with my family, I stand disgraced socially as an abandoned bride. I have no recourse to any redress whatsoever."
Jaswant, however, is one of the luckier ones. Karamjit Kaur from nearby Jalandar, 400km north of New Delhi, was not as fortunate. Her husband Raghbir Singh left her with his parents and returned to his job in Dubai in December 2002 after carrying away the mandatory dowry.
Three months later Karamjit's in-laws attempted to kill her by setting her alight when her parents were unable to pay additional dowry, a mode of bride murder favoured by thousands of greedy Indian husbands and their families.
Her parents lodged a police case, but were harassed in turn.
"All the police were interested in was making money out of our misery. They are doing nothing to investigate Raghbir Singh and his parents," she said.
"Lust, dowry and the lure of settling abroad are responsible for the plight of thousands of these holiday wives across Punjab" said Daljit Kaur, a lawyer and activist.
There was no legislation to safeguard them from being duped and dumped by Punjabi grooms mostly from the West, particularly Britain and North America and the Gulf Sheikhdoms.
Some men even married three or four times, managing to flee safely each time because local police favoured the boys' families.
In some instances, police took five to six years to even register a formal complaint.
Since 2002, only a small fraction of the 15,000-odd female victims had managed to lodge cases. But police officials in state capital Chandigarh privately conceded that such cases are difficult, if not impossible, to investigate because once the man has left the country, extradition was given little or no priority.
There have also been several cases of overseas Punjabi grooms taking their wives back, insuring them for large sums and then bringing them back home to have them murdered.
India's tortuously slow and corrupt legal and police investigation structure was insurance against them being caught, although since the mid 1990s a handful of convictions had occurred but under pressure from overseas authorities.
Punjab's intensely patriarchal social structure has a distinct gender bias against women, widely considered an economic liability as they need to be married off after payment of substantial dowries.
Abandoned brides become even more of a drain on their families.
"A woman who has been abandoned by her non-resident husband and returns to her parents' home is not welcome," said Balwant Singh Ramoowalia, head of the People's Welfare Society.
The children from such unions face even greater prejudice.
"Though social awareness programmes have been launched to educate people against this evil and the government lobbied to adopt more stringent laws, progress has been incremental" Kaur said.
 

Lucy Ahmed

SPNer
Apr 28, 2008
46
15
Malaysia
It is appalling to read about the repression of women in this society.

Where is the humanity here?!!

What happened to the humanity in this society??

The mentality of the whole society should be changed!

I am not a Sikh and as for that I do not understand much of the believes, but in my society (in Borneo) we are taught to respect every living things...which is not only the lifes of human beings but also the all the animals...birds...fishes, the plants...and even the hills...the mountains (ain't they are growing too and have thier own life?!)...including all the seen and unseen spirits. Thus to harm anything living is a curse. In my society, women are the care takers of the home when the men went hunting in the jungle for food...thus the elderly women are given high regards in the society. The healers and the priestess were women in the society who were believed to ward off all evils due to that the women are very well respected in our society.

In our society too, it is the men who footage all the bills of the wedding ceremonies thus it is said..."A MAN IS A MAN and he should earn his respect as a man by paying all the necessities of his woman." As for that the woman, she is not to spend even a single cent when the man is taking her home instead he should be gradeful to the female's parents by giving them a high respect for once caring for his woman.

A Man should never expect for anything from the woman's side, but instead he should show his manhood through bravery and courage by giving and caring for his woman and family...IF NOT...HE IS NOT WORTH TO BE CALLED AS "A MAN" AT ALL.

Well...thats the believed of my ancestors, and I am sharing it with you guys here.
 
📌 For all latest updates, follow the Official Sikh Philosophy Network Whatsapp Channel:
Top