Sikh Girls: A Confused Lot. Are Parents To Blame?

[serjit]

i would very much agree with your goodself,however the BEST thing to do is to get over self educated UNDERSTAND and practice SIKHI. When we change our self everything around us shall change by the Grace of GOD.

:shy:

Recently i have come to realise that many sikh girls like myself face too many personal battles.

I believe i have been bought up in quite a tradtional family. Tradtional being the operative word. I am talking generally now, but so many of the third generation have no clue about Sikhism.

I have many muslim and hindu friends, and they have been taught about their religion by their parents. In any predicament or situation, my muslim friends know what is right and wrong. This is not simply what their parent have told them is right and wrong but because they know from a religious standpoint.

Take for example the case of alcohol. Muslims know that they should not drink, it is wrong in their religion. Wheras myself and many of my Sikh friends and family are simply told girls don't drink. But our brothers and fathers go out drinking and come back drunk. What does this show us.

In Sikh families tradtion meanS that girls have so many more pressures than boys. Take again for example drinking alcohol, boys will go out with their friends and have a good time.If girls do the same thing they are more likely to be ridden with guilt. The words of their parents will echoin their heads. But shouldn't it be the words of Sikhism, that drinking is wrong. Many of hindu friends are know that they shouldn't drink, this is because their parents have taught them it is wrong and have led by example. Some of my hindu frinds do drink, but in each case their parents are aware, and they are encouraged to move away from the habit. Muslim girls are aware that their religion teaches not to drink and they don't.

Think about sikh weddings, it is a religious ceremony. But straight after everybody heads off to the party where there is alcohol galore. So what does that teach us? I simply do not get it. Isn't alcohol against sikhism..why have it on a wedding... a religious union? I understand why Christains have alchocol at weddings.. because it isn't againt Christianity. Mulisms don't need alcohol to celebrate.... so many Sikh men just drink, and show themselves up.

How many Sikh children know what the five K's mean?? I bet less than half the UK population of Sikh Children are aware. How many children know what Vaishaki means? To many it means a fun trip to the mela, and a fun walk with free food. Yes but ask muslim childen about ramadan or why they are fasting and they will tell you.

Many of the Sikhs of my generation are louts. They like the glory of their religion. You will see so many young people supporting khanda but not because they are proud of their relgion but because they look cool!!!

The gurdwara is another thing that grates me. How many young people actually listen. There are mobiles going off, children running around, old ladies bantering and gossiping. Pleas for money. Its like a playground. You don't get that in a mosque or church. People know what they are there for.

I mean why do we have to place money and then bow down when we go to the gurdwara? I don't undertstand. It is a silly concept with no meaning (money not bowing). When we go to the gurdwara to pray, that is what should matter. There is no place for a money box in the gurdwara... i resent bowing infront of it. What is the significace??People should make a contribution elsewhere.

Also in Sikhism thier should be no idols. But why are there so many picturs, and statues? How do we know what Guru Nanak Dev Ji looked like or any of the other gurus. Why do we have picturs of them in the gurdwara? Isn't it against the teachings????

On many occassions Sikh parents let thier sons cut their hair.... but their daughters are expected to keep it long. At a young age, i thought that the only rason girls didn't cut thier hair was becasue it would make them look like ummm 'bad girls!' We wern't actually told that Sikhs aren't supposed to tamper with thier bodies. Even if we were told this i guess we still would have been confused because we would question why does my father or brother have short hair?!!!

Sikhs in this country are confused. I forsee many of my generation moving away from a this religion because we just don't get it!!

 

[FiveLovedOnes]

This means that half of the population that call themselves a Sikh are not because they are not living according to the Rehat Maryada? So what are we then?

Sat Shri Akal
I am new to this site n have been reading the concerns n issues among sikhs n sikh youths.Well Mkaur here is ur answer n it may be harsh too so be ready.One True Guru n above all is the god Himself that Sikhs call Waheguru.It is the waheguru who appointed ten further gurus to be the teachers of Sikhs.Ten Gurus came in body form n left n at the time of leaving they left us with a precious gift of Guru Granth Sahib Ji.Guru Granth Sahib Ji is our teacher now.Everyone is child of same God n he is father n mother of all n He is supposed to be the teacher of all his children.The teacher Guru granth Sahib Ji is the God Himself as our teacher.So all r his children that need to learn from their parents -God Himself.Now assume that this earth where all live is his classroom n all humans have registered themselves as his students of his class.But not all student want to listen to what God teacher is teaching in the class.They hang out of their class n do what their minds ask them to do.They r still called students but not good students in worldly language.There is another group of students who very sincerly or less sincerly attend his all or few classes.All these children are called ATTENDERS in real terms.It is time to focuss here.there r humans of two types - one who attend his class n understand him n second group that simply register in the school but never attend any class of the teacher(one God).Will U call the second group as students or just simply REGISTERED HUMANS/CHILDREN.My answer will be HUMANS WITHOUT GOD'S KNOWLEDGE N GUIDANCE ALL THE WAY OF THEIR LIFE.
To me the other group who attend his class fully or partially r ATTENDERS in real terms whether they LEARN N FOLLOW ALL OR PART OF of what Guru/teacher/God teaches them in their class.They do learn something or most taught in their class.These people in true sense r called attenders while those who register(means who come to this earth classroom) but never attended their teacher 's class r NOT SIKHS(students) at all.Hope U got my point.

So it is not that one becomes a sikh by being born in a sikh family but one becomes a Sikh who attend class where Guru is the teacher n follow what Guru has taught in the class.Also on the contrary Those who come out of the class without learning anything or don't want to follow what Teacher has taught them in the class r also not STUDENTS(SIKHS).
Now after all this discussion U can figure out the TRUE MEANING OF SIKH urself n figure out urself which category U belong to without listening to anyone but to ur own conciousness n awareness from this discussion.

For me all humans r simply humans irrespective of which family or religion they r born but anyone can become his true sikh by following teachings of Guru endorsed in Guru Granth Sahib Ji - The True Teacher.
A Sikh is one who listens n follow guru Granth Sahib Ji(The True Teacher)
Sat Shri Akal

 

[pushpa]

Re: Sikh children

I would like to suggest this to all the sikhs everywhere in the world especially western countries where as parents it gets hard to introduce and practice sikhism, i think instead of having punjabis classes we should have religious classes, kids in the uk dont know how to speak the language, we can sent them to learn how to read and write i know that they will benefit but what i am saying is that by them attending religious classes where they are taught about what the gurus did for us, and understand that we are part of sikh and how to keep it strong, what religion means to us by doing this we will be strong where religion is concerned we might not how to speak the language but no muslim/christain/ other faith will be able to convert us to their religion. westernised people are busy with day to day life struggling to cope up with financial worries. I believe if i sent my 3 kids to the gurdwara and they learnt about religion, there are so many short kathas and that will inspire young kids to what their religion is thats what the muslims do from a young age of 3 - 4 yrs they are taught not to eat pork eat only halal meat and i must admit the kids are so strong even at that ageall over the country (UK) religious classes should be introduced thank youPushpa

 

[FiveLovedOnes]

Dear N Respected PuspaJi
Accept my Sat Shri Akal first.I really appreciate ur efforts towards ur children on the path of sikhism.I remember my mother who used to read Guru Sakhis(stories) by making us sit around in meditating sit position n read us the stories n explaining in between to make it very interesting n real for us.She is religious n did what a religious mother normally do.We from our childhood have seen our parents as religious n involved in religious activities n we attended major sikh festivals with them.My parents gained the knowledge of sikhi n gurus n always explained us the significance of each festival.Even if didn't know they found out n told us later but never ignored.The result is they set us on the path of sikhi n whenever we did anything wrong they stopped us thru nice explaination n verbal debates.They never left us till we r on our own to think what is wrong n what is right.Then never ignored our wrong doings n always taught us good things out of them too.It was possible for them because they made efforts to learn first so that along with them they can pass it to their children.The result of all those efforts is that today being in America for more than 5 years I always stand on an unshaky ground n for every problem in my life whether it is physical or mental I always approached Guru's Bani.No matter what happen I alone can win the whole world such is the power n lesson my Guru has taught me.People have not yet realised the power of guru becoz they simply read,sing n recite gurubani but never step forward to follow it.Following is what makes a sikh super powerful.Guru makes me a soldier first n then ask me to be saint at heart.Sikhs of today don't know this at all.Sikhs of old times used to recite Bani in battle fields.For me my battle time is when I prepare myself for battles thru exercising,games,sports n sword games.I have cut down relaxion times by reducing excessive siiting,standing n slow walking,They all bring our into relaxation zone.
I wake up at 2 or 3 o'clock n mediatate on Guru's Paath n Simran while walking n later I go out for long running.Later I come back home have my breakfast n then move to gym for work out.I recite Naam simran while walking,running n while working out.Our Sikhs have forgotten that Old sikhs never relaxed much but always kept themselves moving n exercises by doing Sword battles practice,Horse riding n horse games the way Nihang Singhs do in punjab,Stick fights,Kushti(wrestling) n many other sports n games.Guru Gobind Singh Ji gave Sikhs HolaMala festival to always remind them that Sikhs Must celebrate this festival of exercises n games everyday in their daily life but Sikhs of today have left all those n simply keep on praising their past history.Instead they should learn from our history n use it in modern ways to keep themselves strong n well built,good looking n attractive to opposite sexes.They should be always prepared n always involved in exercises,games n sports,running n soldier walking but giving an excuse of busy life they r leaving everything.I work on computers but I always see that my exercise time in whole day must exceed the relaxtion time(my work Time) n so I wake up very early in the morning n do my paath while walking.I come back home n put my Gutka back n go out for long distance running.Come back again ,have my breakfast n then exercise in Gym.I exercise little bit in breaktime while at work.It keeps me going whole day without any tiring.After work too I go to Gym once n do good household activities that also provide exercise.My mind is super strong n my evils within lie at my feet whole day.
I command them instead of letting them subdue me.
Such is the power of Guru Gobind Singh - the Mighty Lion Warrior Guru.

I do everything the way Guru wants his Sikhs to be.TAYAAR BAR TAYAAR KHALSA-means ALWAYS A READY WARRIOR SAINT KHALSA.this is my aim in life while I do other things.This holds true both for men n women.Girls don't do exercises n always remain on shaky grounds n never truely follow n really understand what there Guru Gobind Singh n Guru HarGobind Singh Warrior Saints really looked like n they should become like them by following their kind of tough lifestyle n encourage sikh boys to be like them thru exercises n meditation.Lazy girls r easily attracted by glamor,bollywood ****, n dirty ponds of this world n easily subdued by her own evils within her.They never wake up very early in the morning as noone teaches them nor they try to learn themselves becoz they feel Guru words r Bogus n history of sikhs is just a past.Mare ignorance of Guru's words n following lifestyle of a Saint Plus a Warrior bring them to an easy prey of muslims as they r already made weak by her own evils within.Such weak minds never accept that she has been saved by her parents not to follow wrong paths but instead revolts for more freedom n finally it is lust for their freedom that sucks them to an easy prey.This is not the freedom Guru talked about.
Guru gives a women to stand equal to man in strength,might,exercises,to become a warrior(read ur history to know that sikh women fought shoulder-to-shoulder with men),household activities,seva at gurudwara, n other good works,at playing sword games,other games,sports n other good activities.They haven't really understood the true meaning of freedom the Guru Talked about.I wnat our sikh girls to think about this again n again n set themselves on the tracks of Guru Gobind Singh-The Warior Guru n at the same time encourage sikh boys to be always on unshaky ground.
From All this discussion I can only say that one who is able to win his/her own mind can win the world.Get up early in the morning,break ur relaxations n enjoyments,exercise a lot,walk,run,jog,go to gym,do household work very actively n full strength,involve more activities at home that provides good exercise,play games n sports n make sure that U r not relaxing,siiting or standing or slow walking a lot.Add more boost to ur daily walk at home n outside,at work,be always very active n quick at work n at home.Wake up very early in the morning at 4 o'clock n mediatate while soldier-walking outside in fresh air.U will be ready within a week time for the toughest fight with ur own evils n world outside.No muslim or other can then overcome ur weakness inside U.Hope Puspaji U will incorporate these elements in ur kids n provide them all kind of exercising stuff from the market n not letting them relax much at home,on sofa,on bed n other things like computers n video games.Little is Ok.make them get up very early n exercise n do Naam Simran while exercising n playing.
Every Sikh Girl n boy must work to become physically well bulit n strong thru exercises n keep themselves on Good paths by Following Guru 's Bani thru Guru Granth Sahibji.They must understand that they r not like other humans.They r born to be super strong both mentally n Physically.Only then they help humanity or else they will be sucked by their own evils n these sucking stupid Systems of these Western Countries.Leave all ur excuses behind n start working to become a super strong well built Soldier like Sikh n very nice at heart thru Guru 's nectar Bani.This holds for both men n women alike.Young girls n boys need this lesson very very badly.Note this.
May Mighty Warrior Guru Gobind Singh -The Lion Guru be ur Role Hero in ur mind Always.Chardi Kala to all my sikh friends. :advocate:

 

[Sanjlon]

i agree with you alot. But it has to STOP! Muslims are taught madrassa from the age of 1 and they are forced to fast from the age of 1. Sikhs do not do that . It is a SHAME. Muslims will go on and on about allah and sikhs and hindus do not know enough about their own saints, religion, banis and all. sikh girls are the worst when you go out and see... they are now taking drugs, getting involved in prostitution, religious leaders and organisations do not even know how many sikh boys and girls are in the jails of the uk!The WORST thing of all is that many sikh and hindu girls are converting to islam, they do not even know what they are doing, but are happy to wear a burkha, pray 5 times a day and become a slave under an islamic regime! it makes my heart cry. What we really need to do is to start what our Guruji did, to baptise all sikh children, get them to take an oath in the do's and dont's of sikhism, spend more time in our Gurudwaras, get many youngsters involved, teach people punjabi and teach them the ways of sikhism. Alot has gone and generations have been lost. But now it has to stop. Blame no one... take action... join the sikh movement at some stage, there are many places to put things right but peopl have to find the right. One thing should be full and final NEVER CONVERT YOUR RELIGION! Think about the Guru's children They died but DID NOT CONVERT!Dhan to All my GURUs.Please note that i do accept that there has been some confussion about putting the money and knelling down to bow infront to the PETI...the money donated at the gurudwara is used to run the gurudwara. people do not bow down to the PETI but to the GRANT SAHIB!Make your feelings known to people and in your mind and heart just think of the GURU at all times. call into your inner voice and make that voice to be that of the GURU!... Tune into that voice and get up every morning and do your prayers...

 

[FiveLovedOnes]

My Dear friend it is law of god that opposite sexes r attracted towards each other to serve the purpose of creating new life as old perishes slowly.those who r born will die one day for sure.So life must continue thru reproduction.A man n women r first of all r attracted by physical appearance.A girl first of all looks for a tall strong well built man to be his partner for life.It is natural law of God.Good appearance is obtained thru exercises n good mind thru mediatation n following Guru.Exercise provide well built health n fresh blood to mind n so it grasps things faster n better.Sikhs of today never exercise n they relax more.they sllep a lot n never get up at amrit vela.Result bad personalities n odd looks.A sikh must get up very early in the morning to cut relaxation time for the body,meditate n add lot of exercises,sports n games to add activeness to the body.Activeness keeps ur inner system-digestive system,kidneys,live etc in wonderful health n hence body grows wonderful n mind is super.Well built body is obtained thru exercises only which is the main cause of attraction for the girls(religious n non-religious both).Sikhs of today maintain sluggish lifestyle n have poor looks n body.Why a sikh girls will ever think of U.tell me.In olden days girls from other religions were attracted towards sikhs more just becoz of their look n physique.
My solution is at the personal level n can be easily implemented while ur solutions says they must do......,Gurudwars r like............,Problems with PETI(not important when we r talking about this problem.PETI is another issue to be solved n no way connected to this problem of sikh girls eloping with muslims n esily subdued by thier looks n tricky ways),many sikhs must unite n do...........all these need lot of efforts n finally self help is the end point.
well my friend self help is the greatest help n try to be more aware of Gurus n Gurubani at ur level first n make sure u r passing ur knowledge n learnings to ur children.Generations will change n current problems will elope.Good to have meetings with parents n youngers n address their concerns but again finally it is self help.
Exercises add to good body n mind.Good minds think good n learn n practice good things.Pretty Simple.Do it urself n find out what I have already discovered.

******Doing is the difficult part while talking on forums n holding long n never ending discussion doesn't help much if self help fails.********Do it n get it or forget about it.
Offer ur head n only then u will get Amrit/blessings.See the rule of guru.Do difficult tasks to get good results.****Exercise hard to get good looks n body n mind.-God's rule*****

Hope u will stick to more exercising n more learning of religion n by staying active U can transfer it to others.
In my opinion talking n discussing doesn't help much.Common Sense is more necessary among our youngesters who have to win in all fields n so they need to be physically very strong n active n brainy to solve worldy problems n win in all fields.
All this comes thru Exercises,games,sports,gym,etc n meditating on naam n Guru's Teachings.
See ur gurus as both Saint n Soldier.Guru himself exercised weapons games,horse riding n lot others n taught the same to Sikhs n so they too turned lions.Sikhs today see gurus as more saints n this is where they r absolutely wrong.Ur Guru Gobind Singh 's name is also DUST DAMAN n so he is a warrior too.
If u want to follow guru become warrior too first n not just talk saints.Thanks n SSA.

 

[MKAUR1981]

Well Mkaur here is ur answer n it may be harsh too so be ready

....and this is exactly what I mean when I say that some Sikh's think there a cut above the rest....typical example.

 

[FiveLovedOnes]

Yes U r very right.Sikh Girls have poor knowledge of outside n what is happening to girls in other religions.Sikhs r the ones who r most respectful of all towards their females :roll:although bads r in every religion but i think Sikh girls take it differently n more negatively n try to be more repulsive.
Sikh religion provide more freedom to females n In fact they r considering it as an advantage for easily following bad tracks.:shock: They always from the day one think of losing break from sikhi n want an easy way of life.But they forget that best way is Sikhi way.Whenever people talk to girls about sikhi n gurus n Gurubani they turn back their head first.
Sikh boys wear their dastaar or patka from day one n whenever they see themselves in mirror they automatically get inclined to sikhi (becoz dastaar n patka always haunt them with questions why we r wearing it n what is the significance of it) n thereby develop the tendency to explore more about Sikhi,Gurus,Gurubani n sikh history n thereby develop the power of exploring sikhi n sikhism.This is the power of wearing a dastaar on one's head.believe it or not but it is true.

What about girls.Their mothers r always on loose in sikhi,never wear a dastaar(n so she is a different role model for her daughters) n hardly ever practice sikhi on their own n given freedom by Guru n sikhs girls fully exploit it.mother never wore any dastaar on their heads from long back while males have been wearing turban despite of so many problems.The more problems they face harder they become in sikhi.In girls noone teaches girls to wear dastaar on their head from childhood that Guru Gobind Singh Ji strongly recommended for all sikh females too."SABAT SURAT DASTAAR SIRA".This is true for both men n women.This dastaar on the head of sikh girls can make them more inclined towards sikhi. whenever they will see themselves in mirror n always feel that they wear it for Guru Their quest for sikhi n Guru's teachings will automatically grow just like boys.

If girls r protected by their parents from the worldly dirt n stopped doing many things they instead of thanking to them they start revolting n start asking for more freedom.Given more freedom as they grow they run away from sikhi more n more n more easily attracted by worldly dirt n their own devils.Finally become an easy prey to their own evils :}8-: inside n finally an easy prey to some bad guy out there.they always see some hero from films as their role model but never look at Guru Gobind Singh ( the super prince n king ) as their role hero for guidance.

:advocate:Well gurus have told us clearly that it is individual duty of every human(Male n Female) that they have to work on themselves to become nice,religious n a good sikh of guru.One has to fight back the world 's dirt and their own evils every moment(inside evils r more powerful than outside evils) but everything is easy by self realisation,self control,following guru n his teaching,raising ur thoughts towards more postive side,ignoring the dirt around us that easily attracts us,thanking to our elders for stopping us going wrong paths n not revolting for more freedom-holds true for men n women, and fighting back ur own mind whenever it tries to slip on wrong track,enjoying listening to guru shabads,watching videos n movies on sikhs n sikhi n feel proud always as strong sikhs,learning about sikh history n learning thru their past history knowledge they should try to expose Sikh girls more in society as role models for other sikh girls n should expose the meaning of true freedom given by Gurus n parents n others.Girls of today r really confused n live in low-spirits.they seriously need great guidance from all corners n sikh people n sikhi sources.:advocate:

Parents know what is good for their children n those who think that their parents r against them by cutting down their freedom they r very wrong.Taking away little of their freedom n preventing them from going wrong way at young age is for their good.At young age they r still ignorant n so should feel proud to be always under the guidance of their elders n gurus.Girls will realise this beauty of stealing their freedom only when they r matured n fully grown up n can really think back of the good done to them by their elders.

above message is for those who don't follow sikhi,take positive things negatively n live without high spirits.they should work on themselves thru Gurubani,parent's assistance,assistance from gurudwaras(ignoring weaknesses of others n focussed on what they need),learning from books n web-videos on sikhi n sikhs around(again then be focussed on good stuff n not getting attracted towards dirt in sikhs-being always positive n getting the best they need to be a good Sikh girl), n other sources.:advocate:
moms must work harder on their kids teaching them :advocate:sikhi n herself following Sikhi first as she is the role model for her daughters n father is always a role model for sons till they mature n start exploring sikhi on their own.

 

[k s gadh]

s s akaal
I agree with the view of Aman Singh Ji about confused sikh girls, todays girls are misguided about religion and life. The children learn from parents\family and society. when the parents cannotset the example of being a good human being and true sikh , how can we expect from our childre. In the race of becoming more rich and advance\modren, todays girls are forgeting about the religion true values.
The time will come when the Waheguru will guide the confused girls\true sikhs.
s.s.akaal

 

[GURVINDER]

Parents Should Not Be Blamed In Every Case But In Some Cases They R Wrong They Should Have Full Controll Over There Children But What About Child If He Or She Is Not Ready To Obey His/her Parents Some Youngesters Loose There Religion ,tradition In Thise Modern World And They Cut There Hairs ,drink Alcohols,flirt The Opposite Sex To Show Others That They R Cool U Had Said In Your Article That People Use Khanda Not For There Religion But For Looking Cool
The Parents Should Specially Mothers Should Teach There Children About There Glorious Guru's There Sacrifices About Great History Of Sikhism It Is In The Hand's Of Parents

 

[k s gadh]

SS Akaal

I am not blaming the parents. Parents are not 100% responsible for the children. But to some extent the parents should keep a watch on the children. I agree there is generation gap. In the present conditions when the western culture is badly affecting our youths,it is difficult for the parents to keep a close wath on their children. Due to outsourcing of work from other countries, the girls are going to bangalore or hyderabad in search of jobs. The are doing the jobs in the call centres (24x7) in different shifts and staying in one room or flat sharing with other girls. Not possible for the parents to stay with the girl at bangalore or hyderabad. The girls are free to enjoy the life in western style because the surrounding culture is totally westernised. frequent visits to the Malls, clubs, bars pizza huts and dating to the boys of other castes. Today's working girls dont' agree with their parents. Girls argue with their parents on every matter. Parents are helpless, they can't say to the girls child, after getting MBA degree or Engineering degree, not to work in other states or cities.
Most of the sikh girls from Punjab are working in these call centres or software company's offices in Delhi bangalore or hyderabad and residing there wioth other colleagues in sharing accommodation.
Due to these reasons, most of the girls are confused lot. Now the circumstances are such ( while working in the MNC's) they have to take the shelter by adopting the western culture.
Sat sri Akaal.:crazy:

 

[k s gadh]

SS Akaal

I am not blaming the parents. Parents are not 100% responsible for the children. But to some extent the parents should keep a watch on the children. I agree there is generation gap. In the present conditions when the western culture is badly affecting our youths,it is difficult for the parents to keep a close watch on their children. Due to outsourcing of work from other countries, the girls are going to bangalore or hyderabad in search of jobs. The are doing the jobs in the call centres (24x7) in different shifts and staying in one room or flat sharing with other girls. Not possible for the parents to stay with the girl at bangalore or hyderabad. The girls are free to enjoy the life in western style because the surrounding culture is totally westernised. frequent visits to the Malls, clubs, bars pizza huts and dating to the boys of other castes. Today's working girls dont' agree with their parents. Girls argue with their parents on every matter. Parents are helpless, they can't say to the girls child, after getting MBA degree or Engineering degree, not to work in other states or cities.
Most of the sikh girls from Punjab are working in these call centres or software company's offices in Delhi bangalore or hyderabad and residing there with other colleagues in sharing accommodation.
Due to these reasons, most of the girls are confused lot. Now the circumstances are such ( while working in the MNC's) they have to take the shelter by adopting the western culture. The western culture says let us enjoy the life to fuller exten without bothering about any thing.
Sat sri Akaal.:crazy:

 

[llpindd]

Hey new here... just saw this post first..

I just don't understand how people are confusing culture with religion... i didn't read all the post, but just from a few i did.... all i hear is people talking about how kids are clubbing, drinking, etc. bottom line is...that has nothing to do with sikhism. i know parents that teach kids about sikhism, but they still drink...they still go clubbing...still break all their rules (all kids do ...of all cultures). i dont see how the OP can say absolutely that muslim/hindu kids dont...makes no sense!!

has everything to do with society. n when you talk about girls being treated differently... u cant speak as a sikh saying that... you have to speak generally becoz every family is different (sikhism doesn't teach that). i think UK and Canada sikhs have some serious issues (in general). but where i live... we all practice sikhism. yes we club...but we're young... and you have to adapt to where you live and the society in which you live. if you don't then who are you? and why live there?

 

[Niku 38]

there is no doubt, there blame lies squarely with parents.

Our children are educated in two ways.Firstly, school, the formal education, secondly, home education which parents , teach the children about religion, culture, philosophy & respect.

Far too many parent persue wealth & forget what they should be focusing on. then when our children turn into ahthiests or turn to a diffrerent religion they wonder why, & go running off to the gurudwra for ardas or something else, when really its their own blindness or lack of foresight that is the problem

as with all religion in the world at present we are faced with dangers of a close & modern world, but as parent we must , forget the excessive wealth & find & teach the riches of our culture & religion to our off spring.other religions do this and tecch their children well, this why sikh children , especially girls are easily influneced because, their parents dont spend enough time with them 7 they have poor knowledge of thier culture etc.

as with all people, there is a lot of hypocracy in society, and it is abudant in the sikhs as well, but again, this re education must start from the parents. the fact that sikhs cut their hair, drink like there is no tomorrow, chat in the gurudwara, lack of sikh/history knowledge , there is no self disapline, this then stems to the off spring & youngsters.

but on the other hand we cannot be too strict either. It a case of find the correct middle ground & educating our children.

I know this is a prevalent problem as i have seen it in my own family, and frankly i am disgusted at the total lack of foresight by the parents. i call it BLINDNESS, since most people do not see what they are doing wrong.

 

[amar7979]

“The mother makes a child a Bhagat, a Surma or a Datta. Thus, only if a mother desires, can a child be a Sikh. I am beginning to wonder whether this can serve as a clue to the solution of our problem – problem of vanishing breed of visible and practicing Sikhs. So let us investigate this further. The sex-ratio, implying the number of females to males, is adverse at less than 800 Sikh females for every 1,000 Sikh males. Given this adverse ratio, evidently, many Sikh males will marry non-Sikh females. Also, in a natural course in any society, some Sikh females and some Sikh males will choose to marry a non-Sikh. The children born from such marriages, generally, can never be visible Sikhs. But the most surprising fact is that even in many families where both parents are practicing Sikhs and father is a turbaned Sikh, the children do not follow Sikhism and male children do not sport a turban.
In all other main religions of the world, scripturally, the position of a woman is inferior to that of a man. Despite this position, in Hindu religion, there are a number of Goddesses and in Christianity the position of Mother Mary is very important. It is surprising that in Sikh religion where woman has been granted equal status to man, the important role of woman is missing in most of our literature and parchar. On the occasion of any Gurpurab, do we recollect the name and role of the mother / sister / daughter of the Guru. Sikh history is rich with examples that during the times of each of the ten Sikh Gurus, a role model for the woman was always available – Bebe Nanaki, Mata Tripta, Mata Khivi, Bibi Bhani, Mata Ganga Ji, Bibi Kaulan, Mata Gujar Kaur Ji, Mata Sundar Kaur Ji, Mata Sahib Kaur Ji, Mai Bhago, etc. In the modern times, we have stopped discussing the role of Sikh women in our history.
At present, it is very difficult to distinguish a Sikh woman from any other woman in the street or in a crowd while a Sikh male can be easily identified anywhere and in any situation. To merge completely with the crowd and not look different physically, our Sikh women have also begin to visit beauty parlors for hair removal and other related activities which are prohibited in Sikh religion like shaping eye-brows. Such women begin to wear bangles, ear-rings, anklets, sindhoor, mangal sutras, nose-pin, etc. Such Sikh women, just to completely merge in the cultural identity of the neighborhood, also begin to observe fasting on days like Karva Chauth and celebrating Raksha Bandhan, Holi, Dussehra, etc. Such a Sikh woman can never tell her children to practice Sikh religion properly for she herself is deviated from the actual practice. A mother who deviates from the principles of Sikh religion even partially should be prepared to have children who deviate substantially. And by the third generation of such families, Sikh principles are visibly lost. This according to my understanding is the cause of deteriorating situation amongst the Sikhs – shortage of mothers who practice Sikhism.
So what should a Sikh woman do?
I think a Sikh woman should practice Sikhism a little more sincerely. We need to remember two things –
a) The purpose of life is spiritual, to attain self realization; and
b) We are a bead in the long chain of human life – we have received some wisdom which we should pass on, if not more, to the next generation.
To guide a Sikh woman, we have the Sikh Rehat Maryada based on the teachings contained in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and actual life style followed by the Sikh Gurus. If we Sikh woman, mother/sister/daughter/wife, make a sincere effort to live life as given in the Sikh Rehat Maryada we will be able to give our generation and the next some Sikh values. Remember Bibi Amro Ji was able to help the elders in her family and Sikh religion benefited by getting their third Guru. One thing, illustratively, which affects all of us Sikh woman is covering our head, as directed in Sikh Rehat Maryada. To my mind, we should not be shy of it as in many other religions this is prevalent and happily practiced – Islam and even Christianity (nuns have to cover their heads always). Rather in other religions, men may or may not cover their head, but woman have to but in Sikh religion both man and woman have to cover the head all the time –equality in practice. Amongst us, some have chosen to tie a turban on their heads, while others wear a scarf and majority of us use a makeshift arrangement of Chunni, which invariably slides down to the neck. I think, like our male counterparts, we all should not be shy of sporting a turban, looking distinct and being proud of the fact that we are equal in religious practice to Sikh men. The scientific advantages of covering the head are many, which are besides my focus here and can be perused by the interested reader on the web, the one most important being that loss of energy from the body is minimized. Once we assemble the courage to look distinct, our urge to submerge our identity into the neighborhood would vanish – this urge to look similar to the crowd is a unique herd mentality and not a sign of self-esteem or abundance of self-confidence which a Sikh on the path of righteousness should exhibit. A rose and a lily both are beautiful and nature has made them that way – abundant nature loves diversity so why harbor an urge to look like others – why fear having a distinct personality/look.
What should a Sikh man do?
I think a Sikh male should support his female associates, be it sister, mother, daughter or wife, to build the confidence of looking distinct. This can be done in many ways, to illustrate –
a) Allow females to wear a turban, dastar or scarf, any way the females like.
b) As the Sikh man has changed from wearing traditional kurta pajamas to shirts, jeans, pants, shorts/Bermudas, etc though continuing to wear a Turban, a Sikh woman should not be restricted to wearing salwar-kameez-chunni or a sari. She should be allowed to wear dresses of her choice even while sporting a turban of any color or design as do Sikh men.
c) A Sikh man should not subjugate his wife by asking her to observe fasting on Karva Chauths or his sister by demanding Rakhi to be tied. These festivals demean a woman and are against the principles of equality of man and woman, taught in Sikh religion. Rather, in modern times, many women are working in police/army/para-military/civil services/politics and protecting the men folk of their country.
d) Sikh males should just stop demanding and /or accepting dowry. We need to set a proud example for the society and walk in the direction as taught to us by our Gurus.
e) Sikh males should never accept female foeticide as this is against our religion. In no family can female foeticide or infanticide take place, if the male head refuses to accept it.
What can we all do?
a) Encourage women kirtanias, kathakars and parcharaks.
b) Have more women granthis and sewadars.
c) Involve women in our Gurudwara management Committees.
d) In our Kathas and narration of history in our Gurudwaras, give rightful place to the role of women in Sikh history - don’t invent it, it already exists, just share with the sangat, implying don’t deliberately underplay it as is being done currently.
e) If Sikh men want to celebrate the cultural events like Raksha Bandhan and Karva Chauth, then we should have a parallel festivals like “Sikh barabari bandhan” where a male will tie a rakhi to his sister to give her a feeling that spiritually we are equal and on that day or another, a Sikh husband will fast on that day to impress upon his Sikh wife that spiritually we are equal.
f) Celebrate the birthday of Mata Sahib Kaur Ji, the mother of Khalsa.
g) Dedicate a day each, at least, to the following – Mata Sulekhni (mother of Guru Nanak Dev Ji), Mata Ganga Ji (mother of Guru Har Gobind Ji), Mata Gujar Kaur Ji (mother of Guru Gobind Singh Ji), Bibi Kaulan (lady who risked her life just to be Sikh) and Mai Bhag Kaur Ji (lady who infused confidence in Sikh males). “

Excerpts from...http://saabt.com/article.asp?article=2197

 

[Niku 38]

That an excellent opinion amar7979. Way to go .

 

[Archived_Member1]

SS Akaal

I am not blaming the parents. Parents are not 100% responsible for the children. But to some extent the parents should keep a watch on the children. I agree there is generation gap. In the present conditions when the western culture is badly affecting our youths,it is difficult for the parents to keep a close wath on their children. Due to outsourcing of work from other countries, the girls are going to bangalore or hyderabad in search of jobs. The are doing the jobs in the call centres (24x7) in different shifts and staying in one room or flat sharing with other girls. Not possible for the parents to stay with the girl at bangalore or hyderabad. The girls are free to enjoy the life in western style because the surrounding culture is totally westernised. frequent visits to the Malls, clubs, bars pizza huts and dating to the boys of other castes. Today's working girls dont' agree with their parents. Girls argue with their parents on every matter. Parents are helpless, they can't say to the girls child, after getting MBA degree or Engineering degree, not to work in other states or cities.
Most of the sikh girls from Punjab are working in these call centres or software company's offices in Delhi bangalore or hyderabad and residing there wioth other colleagues in sharing accommodation.
Due to these reasons, most of the girls are confused lot. Now the circumstances are such ( while working in the MNC's) they have to take the shelter by adopting the western culture.
Sat sri Akaal.:crazy:

i think it's really insulting to suggest that "western culture" is responsible for people choosing not to follow the religion they were born in. have you ever met western born Sikhs? quite a lot of us are very serious about our faith. if young sikhs are failing it's because they're not taught about their faith, because their local sangat is not strong, maybe their local gurdwara is not up to par. or maybe because they're simply not religious people. it takes a serious commitment to be a sikh, not everyone is up to it. the days when simply being born to a sikh family automatically ment the child would also follow sikhism.

more and more westerners are adopting sikhism, even as punjabi sikhs walk away from it. how can you blame this on "western culture"?

 

[kds1980]

Please don't mind kelly ji but western culture in india means the culture of dating ,clubbing
live in relationships,Girls wearing short clothes etc. these things are not found in indian culture.May be modern western culture is appropriate word for this

 

[Niku 38]

i think we ara blaming western culture when we really should be point ing the finger at parents. Yes things are changing in the world, and with the fast pace of society today, we are mixing with different cultures, but that does not give us the right to forget who/what we are. It is the main responsibilty of any SIKH parent to educate their off spring, and its this that is lacking in today s lifestyle.i see it in my own family, so i know its happening in friontof my very eyes. do not blame the kids, blame the upbringing. Children dont know the difference.

 

[ginsglow]

I frankly to do not think the real concern is about drinking/partying in the Sikh religion and how it leads to confusion. I believe the real issue is how their is difference in the treatment between males and females. Yes, parents do treat female children and male children different but that is done is every culture and religion. To say that one is confused about their religion because the parents did not teach them are utterly ridiculous. I am a child of this generation and yes there are things about Sikhism that I do not know but that is not my parents fault. Yes, parents should teach their kids at an early age to express an interest in their religion but it is also the children's responsibility to keep up in that interest. In the age of technology that we live in where everything is only a "click" away why should the parents be blamed? If children are able to decided where and when they should go clubbing; then why cannot they decided to clear up concepts that confuse them about their own religion?