very well said.
Sikh Girls: A Confused Lot. Are Parents To Blame?
- Thread starter Neutral Singh
- Start date
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very well said.
From Sikh4Life Mission Statement
Ex-Female Sikh Student harrassed and intimidated at Luton University by Islamists
I took one look back at my bedroom, closed my eyes shut and asked waheguru to guide me in the right direction then stepped into the passenger seat of Dad’s car.
The journey of my first ever day of moving out of my parents house to a life of independence, a life of standing on my own two feet. My heart was pounding with part butterflies in the stomach and part happiness…
Got to the flat – moved everything in – the second day I was on the phone to my parents crying to bring me back home – That’s one thing probably almost every student does.
Before I got to Uni I had just discovered the one thing that changed my thinking, my attitude, my way of life for ever – I discovered Sikhism. The A LEVEL in Sikhism was a God send for me. I became attached to reading up on every resource on Sikhism that I could get my hands on: Gurbani reading, History, Stories, shabads.. anything. I became ultimately in love with God, Guru and Sikhism. The last 21 years of my life seemed like nothing up until now. My parents were shocked on my change, but I didn’t realise how I’d been swept off my feet and how hungry I was to meet God.
So now at university I still continued to research Sikhism. I went to London Society meetings not knowing anyone or anything about them. I went to any local kirtan and was practically at the Gurdwara every other evening to listen to the katha and kirtan.
I came across just ONE gursikh, not only in my course but within the WHOLE University. I felt as if I was the only Sikh at the uni and this made me feel slightly upset at times. I was used to seeing the group of islamsists walking around the campus and discussing religion, I saw Hindus and Christians but no Sikhs….?
The next day I was at the Student Union discussing the opening of a Sikh society and filling in paper work. Me and Mr Singh ji (my fellow student) now promoted the new Sikh society to others of the university, there were other Sikhs whom we had not yet met.
Soon after this the Islamic Society became aware of the new Sikh Society and president (me). From that day on I was receiving hoax calls from unknown numbers and getting indirectly harassed from Muslims who were threatened by the Sikh society.
We did not retaliate but kept our heads up continuing to make posters and organising regular meetings. With an amazing turnout of 30 Sikh students it was obvious that Guru ji had this all in place well. We were so happy and held a bigger event later in the year. Our posters were continually pulled off the walls, ripped up and either left on the floor or thrown in the bin. But yet we continued producing posters and sticking them up around the campus.
It got worse when I started getting a black car following me home and to uni every day. It was scary and I had doubts at one point of whether “I should continue what I had started?” But for some reason I felt compelled and even stronger to continue the Sikh Society and build my network. The aim became to unite Sikhs within and around Luton.
This way the Sikh Society grew and we got more problems with Muslims in Luton. We had threatening emails, Muslims men would come to our Sikh Society meetings and sit at the back in disguise (wearing a kara) observing the content of our discussions. They would attempt to talk to the female youth at the Sikh societies. The Muslim students would frequently stop me after lectures and challenge me to questions and ask me what I found in opening a Sikh society? I just smiled and replied with “I have found my life and my path”.
I think that at the end it was the unshakable faith which they witnessed within me that scared them and made them want to put their guards up. They would try anything to distract us from the Sikh Society: send Muslim boys and girls to make friendships with us and other members of the Sikh Society but by that time I had already warned others as a caution. They would pester Sikh youth for going out for drinks and parties and say things like “hey sister/brother come to lunch with us- its on me” – notice the words “sister/brother” attempting to sound like they are the same as you. This is yet another tactic used to make you feel like your part of a huge family- their family. They will also try to be too familiar with you another warning signal!
Obviously during all this happening I did not tell my parents as they would naturally get worried and encourage me to keep out of it all.
But throughout all this, throughout the three years at Luton University of ups and downs there was a driving force behind us which kept us continuing the sewa that we could. WE DID NOT GIVE UP. I was scared yes, I was harassed, I was followed, I was threatened and confused but we continued the Sikh Society.
That driving force was perseverance, motivation and most importantly it was the love for Gurbani which grew inside me stronger and stronger just like a fountain over filling with water..
I think now that we were lucky and I realise that wherever we go in life Guru is with us ‘ang sung’ he always preserves our honour. I met people from all walks of life during my time away, good and bad, that’s something we all go through - its how we maintain ourselves during that time which is important.
60-70% of all female students who go to study at the University of Luton or Bradford have either returned home converted to Islam or have returned home a different person. It’s so tough to survive the world of conversions and I can proudly say that having returned home after 3 years at Luton uni I did not convert, but returned home stronger. It’s much harder for girls in a way as we can sometimes be vulnerable and those whom lack knowledge on Sikhism are especially weak targets. Having learnt this I self-taught myself and I advise all other young girls and guys to do the same. Every religion is lovely in its own way and we should be open minded to all of them. However before you get taken into another religion or asked questions be prepared, learn about your own faith, dig deep and keep digging like I did until you find your answers! You’ll find a treasure that no other person in the world can offer you.
Ex-Female Sikh Student harrassed and intimidated at Luton University by Islamists
I took one look back at my bedroom, closed my eyes shut and asked waheguru to guide me in the right direction then stepped into the passenger seat of Dad’s car.
The journey of my first ever day of moving out of my parents house to a life of independence, a life of standing on my own two feet. My heart was pounding with part butterflies in the stomach and part happiness…
Got to the flat – moved everything in – the second day I was on the phone to my parents crying to bring me back home – That’s one thing probably almost every student does.
Before I got to Uni I had just discovered the one thing that changed my thinking, my attitude, my way of life for ever – I discovered Sikhism. The A LEVEL in Sikhism was a God send for me. I became attached to reading up on every resource on Sikhism that I could get my hands on: Gurbani reading, History, Stories, shabads.. anything. I became ultimately in love with God, Guru and Sikhism. The last 21 years of my life seemed like nothing up until now. My parents were shocked on my change, but I didn’t realise how I’d been swept off my feet and how hungry I was to meet God.
So now at university I still continued to research Sikhism. I went to London Society meetings not knowing anyone or anything about them. I went to any local kirtan and was practically at the Gurdwara every other evening to listen to the katha and kirtan.
I came across just ONE gursikh, not only in my course but within the WHOLE University. I felt as if I was the only Sikh at the uni and this made me feel slightly upset at times. I was used to seeing the group of islamsists walking around the campus and discussing religion, I saw Hindus and Christians but no Sikhs….?
The next day I was at the Student Union discussing the opening of a Sikh society and filling in paper work. Me and Mr Singh ji (my fellow student) now promoted the new Sikh society to others of the university, there were other Sikhs whom we had not yet met.
Soon after this the Islamic Society became aware of the new Sikh Society and president (me). From that day on I was receiving hoax calls from unknown numbers and getting indirectly harassed from Muslims who were threatened by the Sikh society.
We did not retaliate but kept our heads up continuing to make posters and organising regular meetings. With an amazing turnout of 30 Sikh students it was obvious that Guru ji had this all in place well. We were so happy and held a bigger event later in the year. Our posters were continually pulled off the walls, ripped up and either left on the floor or thrown in the bin. But yet we continued producing posters and sticking them up around the campus.
It got worse when I started getting a black car following me home and to uni every day. It was scary and I had doubts at one point of whether “I should continue what I had started?” But for some reason I felt compelled and even stronger to continue the Sikh Society and build my network. The aim became to unite Sikhs within and around Luton.
This way the Sikh Society grew and we got more problems with Muslims in Luton. We had threatening emails, Muslims men would come to our Sikh Society meetings and sit at the back in disguise (wearing a kara) observing the content of our discussions. They would attempt to talk to the female youth at the Sikh societies. The Muslim students would frequently stop me after lectures and challenge me to questions and ask me what I found in opening a Sikh society? I just smiled and replied with “I have found my life and my path”.
I think that at the end it was the unshakable faith which they witnessed within me that scared them and made them want to put their guards up. They would try anything to distract us from the Sikh Society: send Muslim boys and girls to make friendships with us and other members of the Sikh Society but by that time I had already warned others as a caution. They would pester Sikh youth for going out for drinks and parties and say things like “hey sister/brother come to lunch with us- its on me” – notice the words “sister/brother” attempting to sound like they are the same as you. This is yet another tactic used to make you feel like your part of a huge family- their family. They will also try to be too familiar with you another warning signal!
Obviously during all this happening I did not tell my parents as they would naturally get worried and encourage me to keep out of it all.
But throughout all this, throughout the three years at Luton University of ups and downs there was a driving force behind us which kept us continuing the sewa that we could. WE DID NOT GIVE UP. I was scared yes, I was harassed, I was followed, I was threatened and confused but we continued the Sikh Society.
That driving force was perseverance, motivation and most importantly it was the love for Gurbani which grew inside me stronger and stronger just like a fountain over filling with water..
I think now that we were lucky and I realise that wherever we go in life Guru is with us ‘ang sung’ he always preserves our honour. I met people from all walks of life during my time away, good and bad, that’s something we all go through - its how we maintain ourselves during that time which is important.
60-70% of all female students who go to study at the University of Luton or Bradford have either returned home converted to Islam or have returned home a different person. It’s so tough to survive the world of conversions and I can proudly say that having returned home after 3 years at Luton uni I did not convert, but returned home stronger. It’s much harder for girls in a way as we can sometimes be vulnerable and those whom lack knowledge on Sikhism are especially weak targets. Having learnt this I self-taught myself and I advise all other young girls and guys to do the same. Every religion is lovely in its own way and we should be open minded to all of them. However before you get taken into another religion or asked questions be prepared, learn about your own faith, dig deep and keep digging like I did until you find your answers! You’ll find a treasure that no other person in the world can offer you.
If the majority of Sikh parents had a brain and knew what went on in the big world we wouldn't be in this position in the first place. Instead their greed for success and status making them push their kids into universities without a clue of what goes on is frequently blowing up in their faces.
If it isn't Islam it will be those "liberal" western values that wash the minds of the youth making them indifferent to their heritage.
If it isn't Islam it will be those "liberal" western values that wash the minds of the youth making them indifferent to their heritage.
Dawnnymph
SPNer
I am Christian and don't get so far ahead of yourself, we are allowed to drink but not get intoxicated.....
RJames
SPNer
Kieran Sidhu introduced the key element that I think has created so much confusion among our young people and allowed many double standards to be perpetuated. It is the difference between faith and culture, Gurbani and image. All too often the two are mutually exclusive and on this subject matter, particularly relevant.
Not withstanding that traditional Punjabi culture is man dominant; the Sikh Gurus have constantly conveyed God's desire for men and women to be equal. Their directions are that we, as a society and individually, accept one another as brothers and sisters, and to be respectful of all persons. For someone to say of the current imbalance between genders, "that is just the way it is" suggests they are unwilling to accept the notion of equality or for that matter, to change the status quo. The statement trivializes the subordinate role thrust upon so many of our young women and the pressure applied to them to submit and accept it.
For I haven't read anything in Sri Guru Granth Sahib ("SGGS") that supports the contention that parents need bribe worthless young men to marry their daughters but dowries are still very common in Canada. Nor have I read anything supporting the acts of parents-in-law subjugating their daughters-in-law through condemnation and violence, but many still do. In both cases, I believe the inequality of rights is motivated by the influence of culture not faith. It's essentially an issue of disrespect and inequality that speaks directly to the subject at hand.
The structure of Punjabi-Canadian culture is less stable that one might think. With parents attuned to Punjabi culture and their children attuned to Canadian culture, the two are invariably in conflict. Ask any teenager about the reasons why they feel they must lie to the parents about what they're ve been up to outside the house. Boys, girls, dating, drinking, going to the mall; you name it there are all sorts of commonplace, albeit western, liberties that our youth must lie to their parents about in order hang-out with their friends. The consequence is that our youth are becoming consummate liars which is in direct conflict with one of our principle tenets- truth.
On the subject of alcohol consumption, it is my understanding is that it was Guru Gobind Singh's direction that wine should not be consumed because it induced the consumer's mind to wander from God. I don't doubt the wisdom of his direction because drunkenness certainly does that and more. And Guru Gobind Singh made no distinction between differing genders. But; not withstanding the common sense reasoning of Guru Gobind Singh's direction, I've not yet read anything in SGGS yet that supports it and isn't SGGS accepted as the final Devine authority for all Sikhs?
The confusion of our youth, particularly our young women comes from many sources. I think it is all too often created by parents whose attitudes are influenced by their place in society. Remember too that as Sikhs we accept sole responsibility for the development of our soul in relation to God. At death, whether your soul joins God or you are reborn in another form is up to you now. How you choose to live and conduct yourself in the service of God is also your choice. Pray, serve, read, question, learn, live, laugh and love.
Rj
Not withstanding that traditional Punjabi culture is man dominant; the Sikh Gurus have constantly conveyed God's desire for men and women to be equal. Their directions are that we, as a society and individually, accept one another as brothers and sisters, and to be respectful of all persons. For someone to say of the current imbalance between genders, "that is just the way it is" suggests they are unwilling to accept the notion of equality or for that matter, to change the status quo. The statement trivializes the subordinate role thrust upon so many of our young women and the pressure applied to them to submit and accept it.
For I haven't read anything in Sri Guru Granth Sahib ("SGGS") that supports the contention that parents need bribe worthless young men to marry their daughters but dowries are still very common in Canada. Nor have I read anything supporting the acts of parents-in-law subjugating their daughters-in-law through condemnation and violence, but many still do. In both cases, I believe the inequality of rights is motivated by the influence of culture not faith. It's essentially an issue of disrespect and inequality that speaks directly to the subject at hand.
The structure of Punjabi-Canadian culture is less stable that one might think. With parents attuned to Punjabi culture and their children attuned to Canadian culture, the two are invariably in conflict. Ask any teenager about the reasons why they feel they must lie to the parents about what they're ve been up to outside the house. Boys, girls, dating, drinking, going to the mall; you name it there are all sorts of commonplace, albeit western, liberties that our youth must lie to their parents about in order hang-out with their friends. The consequence is that our youth are becoming consummate liars which is in direct conflict with one of our principle tenets- truth.
On the subject of alcohol consumption, it is my understanding is that it was Guru Gobind Singh's direction that wine should not be consumed because it induced the consumer's mind to wander from God. I don't doubt the wisdom of his direction because drunkenness certainly does that and more. And Guru Gobind Singh made no distinction between differing genders. But; not withstanding the common sense reasoning of Guru Gobind Singh's direction, I've not yet read anything in SGGS yet that supports it and isn't SGGS accepted as the final Devine authority for all Sikhs?
The confusion of our youth, particularly our young women comes from many sources. I think it is all too often created by parents whose attitudes are influenced by their place in society. Remember too that as Sikhs we accept sole responsibility for the development of our soul in relation to God. At death, whether your soul joins God or you are reborn in another form is up to you now. How you choose to live and conduct yourself in the service of God is also your choice. Pray, serve, read, question, learn, live, laugh and love.
Rj
semicharmed
SPNer
- Jan 15, 2007
- 13
- 0
can u give me some examples of some 'wrong things' that parents do?
semicharmed
SPNer
- Jan 15, 2007
- 13
- 0
you guys remind me of my cousins, all holier than thou! Guru Nanak traveled around and didn't do many of his life changes till later in his life, hense why I don't quite comprehend why children are 'persuaded' to take amrit when they are so young. I'm Sikh, born and raised, I speak Punjabi, English, and French fluently, I don' t consider myself overly religious but I take some things from our religion and practice them and have been doing this for the last few years. All this talk about history is evidence that some of you are missing the mark. You're supposed to come to a decision that is YOUR own at some point in your life, not something that is decided for you by another. I hate those Jehova's witness people that come to my place to try to convert me it irritates me because again I feel that religion is something you come to. And one persons path on it isn't more or less worthy than anothers. Just cause I look 'western' doesn't mean I'm any less sikh than my non western looking cousins. I grew up here, don't knock me for it.
semicharmed
SPNer
- Jan 15, 2007
- 13
- 0
ummm I may have posted that comment based on another post....hahaha but I still like it...I like it alot!
which post?
JtotheAtothe...
SPNer
- Mar 27, 2007
- 25
- 0
This might be due to the fact that it has nothing to do with religion but everything to do with sexist lines in this culture. Look at India, sexist all the way. (less now, no doubt, but still there). This goes the same for all cultures. (less or more perhaps). Hey, your family could be sexist. (they probably are).
gurmeet kaur_2006
SPNer
- Aug 5, 2006
- 2
- 1
SAT SHRI AKAAL EVEYBODY, I don't think parents are to be blamed cent per cent coz if parents R ready to teach them child is not showing intertest.there are many literature available parents buy them but who reads it and if any friend is having book of HARRY POTTER child brings it or buys it without anybody's consent and starts reading it with much interest.
all the person are 100% right to be confused. we are lost showing a roll model to bring up our chiledrens. we are failing to show the true value of sikh faith simply not following ourselves.
The results are there . so where is the problem. There is no sin in doing any thing except going out beyond normas of one's life.if you are living under the conditions which has been laid down by our Gurus, then all the problems are solved.
so the best thing is to stay in norms.
jaspi
The results are there . so where is the problem. There is no sin in doing any thing except going out beyond normas of one's life.if you are living under the conditions which has been laid down by our Gurus, then all the problems are solved.
so the best thing is to stay in norms.
jaspi
i do agree that parents r the biggest culprits.first of all parents shld make it a point to impart religious education to there kids as religiously as they provide the modern education.whether a child applies or does not applies religion in his life even after that is a different issue.but parents shld first fulfil there duty.secondly quality of religious education really matters .it has been the basis of guru nanaks religion that u shld first understand what r u following and then follow it,there shld be an intellectual approach to religion rather than reading holy books again and again without making any effort to usd them.thats why sikhism has bare minimum rituals because ppl get lost in the rituals itself and they dont reach the actual philosphy of religion.secondly its a matter of great shame that despite the fact that guru nanak was the first person in the world to talk abt equality of the sexes,we sikh cotinue to discriminate against girls.i think liquor is as much banned in sikhism as in any other religion.i think sikh girls very well know where they r being discriminated and therefore they shld take up there fight themselves.but they shld be pragmatic also.for example if there brothers and fathers r cutting hair then they shld not follow suit,there fight shld be to stop there brothers and fathers from cutting there hair.
sikh girls should stop saying that there is discrimination in punjabi families that's why
they are not in sikhi.the biggest discrimination in this world is faced by muslim girls
both from religious point of view and cultural point of view but muslim girls are not leaving islam in big numbers.2-3 days ago i was searching a muslim forum and i was surpried when muslim males were justifying beating wives with quote's from quran.one muslim male even quoted a hadith saying that a husband has so much over his wife that even if he demands sex and the woman is in labour even then she should not deny him sex.surprisingly no muslim female said anything against this on the
other hand sikh girls are provided much more freedom and take look at how are they returning it.
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Profile: Jawad Akbar
Five men have been convicted of conspiring to cause explosions in Britain. One of the men was Jawad Akbar.
-Born Pakistan, 20 June 1983
-Moved to Italy as a child, father worked in the wine industry
-Moved to Crawley, West Sussex, aged eight
-Student at Brunel University, Uxbridge, north-west London, studying mathematics, technology and design.
-While at university he worked part-time at Gatwick Airport and had clearance for working airside
-Met a Sikh woman who converted to Islam so they could marry
-Step-cousin, Nabeel Hussain, a co-defendant who was found not guil
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New Delhi, December 18
Three of the four accused in the Parliament attack case were awarded death sentence today by a special POTA court for allegedly entering into a conspiracy to attack Parliament on December 13 last year and to take VVIPs hostage.
The three who were awarded the death sentence are Mohammad Afzal, Shaukat Hussain Guru and S.A.R. Geelani. Navjot Sandhu, alias Afsana Guru has been sentenced to five years’ imprisonment
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this is second case where wife of muslim terrorist was ex-sikh.could anybody please tell us what type of equality they are founding in muslims so that they are even
marrying muslim terrorists.we should write a ltter to osama that he should not need to worry about wives for his jihadis our girls are dying to marry them
in my opinion sikh families are providing too much freedom to girls that's why this is happening.
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