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Controversial Shooting Victim Speaks Out Against Domestic Violence

Discussion in 'Hard Talk' started by Archived_Member16, Apr 5, 2007.

  1. Archived_Member16

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    SPNer Thinker

    Jan 7, 2005
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    B.C. shooting victim speaks out against domestic violence

    shooting victim speaks out against domestic violence

    04/04/2007 10:21:29 PM

    A B.C. woman who survived being shot in the face by her estranged husband is speaking out against what she calls an epidemic of domestic violence in the Indo-Canadian community.

    Gurjeet Kaur Ghuman was left blind after her husband shot her twice in the head in October.

    In an exclusive interview with CBC News on Wednesday, Gurjeet Kaur Ghuman described how her husband climbed into her car last October in Port Coquitlam with a gun, shot her and then turned the gun on himself.

    Parmajit Singh Ghuman died, but the woman he intended to kill lived.

    "He actually shot me twice in my head, one right by my eyes and one right through my brain," she said.
    Ghuman, who is now blind, said she felt the need to tell her story because so many other Indo-Canadian women in B.C.'s Lower Mainland have been victims of domestic violence.

    Several have not survived.

    They include Manjit Panghali, a young mother whose body was found burned in October by a roadside in Delta. Her husband Mukhtiar Panghali was charged with second-degree murder in March.

    Also in October, Navreet Kaur Waraich, the mother of a four-month-old boy, was stabbed to death in Surrey. Her husband Jatinder has been charged with second-degree murder.

    In February, another young Indo-Canadian mother was stabbed to death in Surrey. And just last week, a Sikh man from Vancouver was arrested in India and charged with murdering his estranged wife. Police alleged she left the marriage, but her husband tracked her down and killed her.
    Anti-domestic violence march planned

    For months, the Indo-Canadian community has been holding meetings and urging women to speak up about abuse. An anti-domestic violence march is planned for Thursday in Vancouver's Little India neighbourhood.

    Ghuman said women must protect themselves. If they are in a violent relationship, they should consider divorce, even if some Indo-Canadian women consider such a move shameful.

    "Go ahead, sign the papers and everybody separate," Ghuman said. "Or do you want to die?"

    Ghuman's brother, Bo, said there is a cultural barrier preventing women from escaping dangerous situations. He said some Indo-Canadians believe women should be silent and endure.

    "If the wife is subservient and does everything her husband tells her to do, everything's good in the world and your marriage will work just fine," he said, citing the belief many hold.

    "But that's just not reality."

    Ghuman said women need to take charge.

    "Our community is basically driven by males and I think it should be half-driven by women," she said.


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  3. Mai Harinder Kaur

    Mai Harinder Kaur
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    Mentor Writer SPNer

    Oct 6, 2006
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    I had not intended to say anything this morning, but this subject makes me so very angry. It is so completely unnecessary and so totally against the spirit and teachings of Sikhi.

    Isn't this the religion of gender equality? Aren't we the ones who teach that women and men are both of equal value. Aren't we the people of the shaheeds of Anandpur Sahib? The descendents of Mai Bhoga? Shall I go on?

    I am beginning to believe that men are bullies by nature and we women must stand up to them physically. Why are Sikh women not taught, as a matter of course, to defend themselves? I mean, reading, writing and self-defence.

    Nowhere that I can find do the Gurus teach the woman to be subservient to the man. The teaching I can find is that marriage is one soul in two bodies. I know that this is an ideal to be strived for, but...I don't know how to follow that.

    I need to stop or I'm likely to work myself into a rage. Let me end this way. No one but a true saint (saint-soldier?) would willingly give up a position of supremacy and power. We Singhnis need to take this matter into our own hands, as are these women here in B. C. If we wait for our brother Singhs to do this, I have a feeling we'll be waiting for a very, very long time.

    I apologise if I did not offend any bullies out there.

  4. sachchasoda

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    Mar 19, 2007
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    Men are not bullies by nature. everybody develops a behavior pattern based on the atmosphere they were brought up, their present state of mind, their past life mindset(antahkaran) and all that. Haven't you heard of women killing their own babies, especially girls? How many women out there get abortions done just because the baby they are going to have is a girl? How many mother-in-laws are responsible for the problems in marriage? How many women out there give special treatment to their male child? MORE THAN 60/70%.....

    And don't be surprised at all, it is not only in our culture, it is everywhere. Somewhere it is more visible somewhere it is less.

    No doubt women have to become strong, but for this they are needed to be educated because many women do not even consider this issue as problematic. For them it is normal. This is more like a social disease that is left undiagnosed, and almost every household needs a treatment in some manner.
  5. Harjas Kaur Khalsa

    Harjas Kaur Khalsa
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    Feb 15, 2006
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    Wise words Sachchasoda.

    Men tend to kill their partners. Women tend to kill their children. When people go crazy, they take it out on the person weakest and closest to them. I don't think anyone in their right mind wants to hurt someone vulnerable. Something is really wrong in the mind to do these things. Something is really disturbed in the heart of the person. I'm grateful this bibi is doing wonderful seva bringing these problems out in the open and helping so many people. Guruji bless her.

  6. drkhalsa

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    Sep 16, 2004
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    Thanks everybody for their valuable inputs

    this really made me laugh though:)

    Jatinder Singh
  7. OP

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    SPNer Thinker

    Jan 7, 2005
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    Abuse In America

    4 million American women experience a serious assault by a partner during an average 12-month period. 1

    On the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day.2

    92% of women say that reducing domestic violence and sexual assault should be at the top of any formal efforts taken on behalf of women today.3

    1 out of 3 women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.4

    1 in 5 female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Abused girls are significantly more likely to get involved in other risky behaviors. They are 4 to 6 times more likely to get pregnant and 8 to 9 times more likely to have tried to commit suicide.5

    1 in 3 teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, slapped, choked or physically hurt by his/her partner.6

    Women of all races are equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.7

    37% of all women who sought care in hospital emergency rooms for violence–related injuries were injured by a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.8

    Some estimates say almost 1 million incidents of violence occur against a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend per year. 9

    For 30% of women who experience abuse, the first incident occurs during pregnancy.10

    As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy. 11

    Violence against women costs companies $72.8 million annually due to lost productivity.12

    74% of employed battered women were harrassed by their partner while they were at work.13

    Ninety-four percent of the offenders in murder-suicides were male.14

    Seventy-four percent of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner (spouse, common-law spouse, ex-spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend). Of these, 96 percent were females killed by their intimate partners.14

    Most murder-suicides with three or more victims involved a "family annihilator" -- a subcategory of intimate partner murder-suicide. Family annihilators are murderers who kill not only their wives/girlfriends and children, but often other family members as well, before killing themselves.14

    Seventy-five percent of murder-suicides occurred in the home.14
    1. Henise, L., Ellsberg, M. and Geottemoeller, M. Ending Violence Against Women, Population Reports, Series L, No. 11., December 1999.

    2. Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001. February 2003.

    3. Liz Claiborne Inc., study on Teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.

    4. Jay G. Silverman, PhD; Anita Raj, PhD; Lorelei A. Mucci, MPH; and Jeannie E. Hathaway, MD, MPH, “Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy , and Suicidality,” Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 286, No. 5, 2001.

    5. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Violence Against Women: Estimates from the Redesigned Survey, August 1995.

    6. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, February 2003.

    7. US. Department of Justice, Violence? Related Injuries Treated in Hospital Emergency Departments, August 1997.

    8. US Department of Justice

    9. The Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s Lifespan: 1998 Survey of Women’s Health, May 1999.

    10. Helton et al 1987.

    11. Gazmararian JA, Petersen R, Spitz AM, Goodwin MM, Saltzman LE, Marks JS. “Violence and reproductive health; current knowledge and future research directions.” Maternal and Child Health Journal 2000; 4(2):79-84

    12. Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States. 2003. Center for disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Atlanta, GA/

    13. Family Violence Prevention Fund. 1998. The Workplace Guide for Employer, Unions, and Advocates, San Francisco, CA.

    14. Violence Policy Center (VPC), American Roulette: Murder-Suicide in the United States, April 2006

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