Self-Worth

Discussion in 'Inspirational' started by Aman Singh, Jul 27, 2017.

  1. Aman Singh

    Aman Singh Admin SPNer

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    How many times have you waited for someone to reply to the message you wrote, but never received it?

    How many times have you dressed up for someone, waiting to hear from them that you’re beautiful?

    How many times have you waited for someone’s call, so that they make you feel happy?

    How many times have you waited for someone to appreciate the work you’re doing, so it’s easier for you to continue doing it?

    With the reply that never came, the compliment you didn’t hear, the phone call that wasn’t intended, and the appreciation that was held back – you and I, we lost our self-worth.

    Since kindergarten, we began to associate our self-worth with the golden stars our teachers gave us.

    By middle school, this turned into how popular people thought we were and by college, we were living on the compliments we received, and the number of people who praised us.

    And till today, we think that our worth is determined by the way others perceive us. Thus, we want our boss to be happy with our work, we want our partners to constantly praise us, we want to be noticed, and we want to be appreciated.

    Slowly, and gradually, this will harm us. Seeking approval and validation from others will change into a permanent, life-long struggle if we don’t start believing in ourselves.

    Stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself – carefully. Speak to your reflection.

    Tell your reflection you are beautiful, you are strong. Tell your reflection that you appreciate yourself, that you love yourself, that you want to make yourself happy. Tell your reflection that you’ll be there for yourself.

    Because, sooner or later, you will realize that there is no one who will always be there for you, there is no one who can constantly praise you, appreciate you, and keep you happy. That is your job. And that job begins by believing that you can.
     
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  3. RD1

    RD1 Writer SPNer

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    So true. From a very young age, we are indoctrinated into this reward-based type of system, that fosters a dependence on validation and approval from others.

    To some extent, we need validation from others. Others can act as mirrors, and help us learn certain values and beliefs. However, there has to be balance. Externalizing our entire self-worth is ultimately detrimental to healthy growth and development.

    Not only can this lead to us not having self-worth, but it can also lead us to not see others as worthy.

    Yes, no one else can ever constantly keep us happy, nor should we expect anyone else to do so! We need to support each other, but it is not someone else's responsibility to make us feel whole or complete.

    In many ways, society has a rigid standard of what is considered acceptable. We must be able to break away from all these artificial rules, and embrace our own beauty, which includes all our 'pros' and 'cons.' And when we can do such with ourselves, we can begin to see others in a more compassionate, open-minded way as well. I think this ultimately can foster a path to oneness.
     
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  4. sukhsingh

    sukhsingh Writer SPNer

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    Although in contrast some people reject social norms and absolutely refuse to play by the rules.. In today's world these people may be seen as punks, goths, anarchists, but this itself can become a 'tribal' affiliation. Michel foucault said the person is political.. In everything we do we are making a political decision, consciously or subconsciously.. Choosing to rebel is not so different than choosing to conform..
    What is important is to know that we are doing it and accept it.. To accept that despite our best efforts we are not pure of mind or thinking.. By doing that we are forced to apply ever higher levels of self-critical analysis and perform even deeper khoj
     
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  5. Avneett

    Avneett SPNer

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    This is so true! Well said
     
  6. Dr.Alta

    Dr.Alta SPNer

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    Here, Here!

    I keep getting banned for questioning childhood sexuality. IT hurts but at-least they heard me.
     
  7. Dr.Alta

    Dr.Alta SPNer

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    I'm unapologeticly a (former) victim of Childhood sexual abuse. Society is upset that I can't at-least be so ashamed that I keep quiet about it.
     
  8. Sikhilove

    Sikhilove Writer SPNer

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    The more u spread awareness about it, the more people will wake up to the plight of others and joint the fight against it. Sorry you had to go through that.
     
  9. sukhsingh

    sukhsingh Writer SPNer

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    No one expects anyone to be silent about such things.. At least not any right thinking people
     
  10. Sikhilove

    Sikhilove Writer SPNer

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    I was thinking about this today. Practicing Truth is about freedom.

    When you stop seeking approval and permission, you are freeing yourself. Gurbani tells us we come alone and go alone, so surely it makes sense to trust, believe in yourself and to be strong.

    In essence, a free spirit who is strong.
     
  11. Scarlet Pimpernel

    Scarlet Pimpernel We seek him here,we sikh Writer SPNer

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    Sometimes no reply is the reply and your eternal teacher can keep you happy if you constantly praise him ,look into your mind mirror and the world will validate your perpetual parking.
     
  12. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller

    Panga Master

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    if the world validates my perpetual parking, then my parking is wrong
     
  13. Scarlet Pimpernel

    Scarlet Pimpernel We seek him here,we sikh Writer SPNer

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    Veera it depends on what you’re parking when it comes to Self Parking this world is the place to validate that you did not park here.
     
  14. RD1

    RD1 Writer SPNer

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    Society is wrong if they say that YOU should be ashamed. A symptom of this victim-blaming society. Its the perpetrator of such heinous acts who deserves all the shame, not you.

    Childhood sexual abuse is something that is very taboo in society, and not taken seriously; yet, the impacts of this violence can scar a person for life.

    You keep speaking up, and raising awareness of this.
     

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