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Of Wolf And Man

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
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I am oscillating madly between connections, and it is leaving me drained, and my poor wife completely unaware of who she is going to wake up next to in the morning.

I seem to start the week on Monday getting reconnected, and this works well till about Thursday, when the rumblings of the wolf start to pierce my head, by Thursday evening, all I can hear in my head is howling, the smell of blood, the thrill of chasing a stray rabbit, it is not evil, merely satisfying the whims of the self, and I do, non stop, till Sunday.

On the one hand, I am grateful that I can partition my life such, and get a glimpse of how life is with connection, on the other hand, I am getting too old to see myself as some youthful wolf, as a wolf, I crave the peace and contentment I have early in the week, as a man, I pity the almost hypnotic state I find myself in on Thursday. However, Thursdays, I have a spring in my step, a flush in my cheeks, I am alive, the tingle in my stomach, the smell of grass of mud, of earth,

It is Monday, the sun is shining, the connection shimmies in front of me, eveloping me in its warm caress, giving me the peace my soul craves, I embrace it, like I do every Monday, it is like coming home.
 

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