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Muslim Girl-Sikh Boy Marriage Problems- Please Help!

Ambarsaria

ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
Writer
SPNer
Dec 21, 2010
3,387
5,690
Aisha ji thanks for the update. Looking from outside in, you guys are handling it as well as anyone could do.

All the best to all including your whole family and your BF's whole family.

Regards.
 

Aisha

SPNer
Oct 12, 2012
43
151
I've gotten a couple of PMs from people wanting to know what happened with all of this so have decided to update the thread.

For the person who was wondering, no, I am not married to my boyfriend. In fact, we have decided to put marriage on the back burner for the time being. There are 2 reasons why:

a) We knew before we told our parents that they would not be ecstatic about our decision and probably not supportive either, but it was our hope that both families would at least accept what we were doing and realize that they wouldn't be able to change our minds. That wasn't the case, no where near it, in fact it was quite the opposite.

b) We're both presently doing medical school and will be for the next 3 years or so. There isn't anything that will prepare you for the onslaught of work and sacrifice that this practice demands. The level of difficulty has certainly exceeded all my expectations. Whereas before I was seeing my BF on an almost daily basis, we are now lucky if we can squeeze one day of quality time together each week. So although we could get married, and the combined income from our part-time jobs is enough for us to move out together and support ourselves, the added stress would just take our attention away from our studies and has the potential to create a rift between us, which could jeopardize our entire relationship.



Going back to the first point, if our parents were with us on this, I'm sure we could have found a way to make it work. But since they're not, the smart choice is to probably let this hang until we are done medical school, and once we start residency we should have more time, we will become financially independent (right now we'd just be barely getting by) and be in a much better position to make this work.

This is not the route I wanted to go down but have conceded that there isn't any other choice if I want my relationship with my BF to be a successful one. Rushing into marriage at the age of 22-23, being a full-time student, a part-time employee, having no support from your family and living on scraps could be enough to drive the two of us apart and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that never happens.

Our initial desire was to take our frustrations out on our respective families (my dad and his mom). After all, they could prevent all of this from happening. They could support us in our time of need, be there for us when we need them the most, ensure that we have the means to get married AND make it work. But instead they threaten to disown us, give us hell and never speak to us again.

We probably would have done it too. But there is a lady at the Gurdwara that I met on my very first visit. She has a good relationship with my BF and so when I went with him, didn't hesitate to get to know me. I really like her, she's full of wisdom, made me feel welcome and understood our problem. I see her every time I go and love talking to her. We told her about all of this and how angering it was, but she talked us out of doing anything rash or saying anything we might regret to our parents. She said to treat this like a blessing in disguise instead of a set-back. Because now our parents have 3 years to cool off. Now I have 3 years to win over his mom, and him my dad. Now there is a much greater possibility that the entire family will be at the wedding.

And she's right too. In the midst of all this, I still harbor the hope that I will get to hug his mom on our wedding day and that my dad will put my hand in my BF's and bless us and wish us happiness. I think that's really all any kid wants. I do want to marry my BF, and would do it right now if I could, but the possibility of everything working out makes the wait worth it.

I got a message from someone saying they were in the same situation. This thread also has thousand of views so I am sure there are more people out there going through the same thing. I will post my advice on here so that anyone who wants to read it can do so.

First and foremost, don't ever change yourself for anyone else. Inter-religious relationships are hard and sometimes people will convert to their partner's faith to make things easier. I am adamantly against this. You fell in love with this person, and this person fell in love with you while you had different faiths. If the person you are with cannot accept you for who you are, and wants to turn you into something you are not, then that person is not the right one for you. You should only ever change who you are for yourself. At the beginning of our relationship, I got my boyfriend to study Islam. He spent months looking into it, came with me to the Masjid (Mosque) pretty much every Friday, spoke to every knowledgeable person there and in the end decided that Islam was not for him. He was not going to convert. That was the end of it for us, I never brought it up again and respected his decision. I am now in the process of trying to understand Sikhi. I know conversion isn't an issue because my BF will accept me for who I am, doesn't matter if I happen to be a Sikh or stay Muslim. If I do convert, it would only ever be if I came to the conclusion that Sikhism is more evenly aligned with my own personal beliefs than Islam is. Otherwise, I will stay Muslim, and he has no qualms with that.

The hardest part is definitely children. The two of you may have no problem whatsoever in your individual differences of faith, but adding children to the equation may change everything. You will definitely need to figure out how you are going to raise the kids before marriage is ever seriously considered. Think about this: you might agree to teach your kids about both religions (as a lot of people do), but deep down inside, are your fingers crossed that your kids end up choosing YOUR faith over the one of your partner? Are you comfortable knowing that there is a very large possibility that your kids will end up practicing the religion of your spouse, or not be religious at all? If you are a Muslim and expect nothing less than your children being devout Muslims, then I'm sorry to say that you will never be happy in an inter-religious relationship and that for your sake, your partner's sake and your future children's sake, you should find a practicing brother/sister and marry them. The same goes for you if you are a Sikh and will only ever accept your children practicing Sikhi, or a Christian wanting his/her kids to be Christians etc etc...

Secondly, understand that by being in an inter-religious relationship, you are risking being ostracized by your immediate and extended family. Are you prepared to deal with that, the reality that you may never be accepted by your family again? It's easy, at the beginning, to say that you will do anything for this person. You may contemplate running away together, or getting married and then moving far away for ever. But give it a few years and trust me, your opinion will change. Especially if you are a teenager, I cannot begin to describe how different you will be at the age of 22 than you may be at 15-18. Heck, I'm sure I'll look back at 25-26 and feel dumb for doing some of the things I have at my present age and ask myself what I was thinking. The point is that infatuation is not the same thing as love. This is why I feel that you can never properly know a person until you have been together for around 3-4 years. If you haven't been together for at least two years, then marriage shouldn't even cross your mind. This obviously doesn't apply to those people who want to have arranged marriages. And there isn't anything wrong with that either, provided that both sides are willing parties. But for those of you who will find your partner through dating, please please please realize that your perception of that person will change as your relationship matures. Not always for the worse though. I loved my BF deeply from the get go, but at the beginning, because of his constant joking and laid-back attitude, I didn't think he was as mature as he should have been. He proved me wrong though. Just because he liked to have fun and didn't take life as seriously as some other folks, didn't mean that he wasn't responsible or grown-up. He turned out to be the most trustworthy person I have ever known in my life.

What I am getting at is that once the initial attraction and excitement fades, you will either:

a) Realize that you are no longer interested in being with this person, or
b) Appreciate them for their personality, their quirks, how they can always cheer you up, their sense of humor and ability to make you laugh, not just their looks or appearance. That's when you know that this is the person you want to be with. Just do not do anything rash, because I promise, if this person isn't right for you, you WILL regret it.



Now I think I want to address any Muslim girls who may be reading this. Sisters, if there is one thing that I have learned from my time spent with my boyfriend, on this site and going to the Gurdwara, it is that even us non-Sikhs can take the teachings of Sikhism, implement them in our lives and enrich our existence, because it really is a great religion that has a lot to give humanity. Guru Nanak Ji was the one who said that "there is no Hindu, there is no Muslim", and to me that really is the foundation of the religion, because it means that we are all the children of God, "Muslim" and "Hindu" are just labels that divide people and create conflict. There really is only one race, the human race, and only one God, though we may all have different ways of connecting with him/her/it, and different names for the creator, Waheguru/Allah/Ram are all the same. Like I have already said, if you want your kids to be Muslim and only Muslim, then that is perfectly fine and I can understand why, just please do not get into an inter-religious relationship, I can almost guarantee you will regret it.

I know that the community puts a lot of pressure on us to get married, and that too to Muslim men only. But sometimes God has different plans in store for us. If you are one of those girls who has ended up falling in love with a non-Muslim, no matter what religion he is, then chances are, at one point or another you have asked yourself if you are committing a sin. If you want my opinion, no you are not. Do not forget that Allah SWT is "the most merciful, the most gracious". If your intentions are pure, then God will understand.

It is difficult enough to find a good husband these days. If you come across a guy who is there for you when you need him, makes you smile, makes you laugh and is first and foremost your best friend, I say to snatch him up, and if he just so happens to be a non-Muslim, then realize that his non-Muslim upbringing is partly responsible for molding him into the person he is today. If your guy had been brought up in a Muslim family, he would likely be a lot different from the man you fell in love with. Accept him for who he is, and if he doesn't want to convert to Islam, then respect his decision.

Life is too short to spend fretting over things like differences in religion. Marry someone who will make you happy and who loves you. Go out there and enjoy yourself. If he is a non-Muslim, then so be it. You're here for a very limited time, be grateful that you have the opportunity to experience this wonderfully magnificent world and do not waste this blessing. I hope your lives are filled with contentment and love.


If anything I said was unclear, or you would like to know more, you can drop me a PM or ask on here and I will reply when I get time. Take care everyone ;)
 
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Ikk Khalsa

SPNer
Mar 19, 2013
48
145
Gurfateh / Salam,

I read your post and I became fan of your courage. I don’t normally post on internet however I want to put my two cents in your situation. Before I start I am going to admit that I will sound bias towards Sikhi but whatever I write will be true (no man made stuff) and also I am not trying to convert you as we Sikhs don’t believe in that.

I am male in mid thirties so I am considering you as my little sister which I never had. I live in Canada as well. I am a man of common sense and logics. I do not fall for anything that can not be proven or that does not make any sense to a normal human being. I was born in Sikh family and was/is not very religious however during past couple of years I got to learn a lot about Sikhism. I was somewhat atheist before because no one taught me about real Sikhi and never saw anyone living like a real Sikh (I am sure same can be said about other religion because everyone wants to live easy life and use religion for identity or cherry pick the rules). I know you are looking into Sikhism as well so I just want to warm you that there are few different kind of Sikhs out there so you may find more than one answer to your question and also hear some man made stories which do not belong to Sikhism (Guru Granth Sahib).

In high school my best friend was Muslim from Pakistan. I stayed over at his place countless times and loved his Ammi’s cooking and joked around, gave her hard time and then had to dodge flying object coming from her. He knew about Islam more than I knew about Sikhism (other than just basic rules). We went to Gurdwara few times together because someone had invited my family, not to learn something. Time to time we did argue about Islam vs. Sikhism or India vs. Pakistan wars or cricket players because we both had grown up in back home. I did not know much about my religion so I argued based on science which I still do to this day however I know bit more about my religion now.

I had grown up listening to stories not real teachings from Guru Granth Sahib. Some of those stories involved miracles which just pushed me away from it because living in this day and age I did/do not believed in miracles. Couple years back I listened to a preacher who was different than the rest of them. Whatever he was saying made so much sense and the more I listened to him, the more I fell for Sikhism. He was different from most of other preacher because he was telling whatever is written in Guru Granth Sahib rather than just popular man made stories of Gurus doing miracles.

I know you talked about if you guys get married in future you will let your kids know about both religion and they can pick the one they want. To me it is like having your feet in two boats and most of the time you end up in water. It would be impossible to justify two different things to any human. It is like telling them two plus two is four or five depending which religion’s point of view you look at it (BTW if you look through Sikhi four is the answer j/k). Can you imagine being that poor kid? Imagine telling your son; you can get married only once or four times. All humans are equal regardless their gender, race, or religion because they are created by same god or there are some kaffirs. You can go to jannat and get virgins or there is no jannat or hell after life, its all here in present life and it’s up to you to make it hell or jannat. These are just few examples but I am sure there is a lot more to it. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way or form. I would love to answer if you have any question about Sikhism. If someone tells you any story with miracles, it is a lie because there is no place for miracles, ghosts, devils, black magic, angels etc. in Sikhism and the beauty of it is that none of them have been proven by science.

You are a brave and smart girl, keep your head high. Life is never meant to be easy and I wish you good luck with everything. Let me know if I could help you in any way or form.
 

arshdeep88

SPNer
Mar 13, 2013
312
642
36
I don't know what to say,all i can say is best of luck and wish the world would have been better place to make decisions irrespective of caste,color,religion age or whatever but at the same time going against the wishes of the parents wont be good too,
all in all i can hope things turn out good for both of you from both parents and your side
 

Rory

SPNer
Jul 1, 2012
218
323
Ireland
I'm going to be the difficult one here and ask Aishaji, why she is calling herself a Muslim if she doesn't want to live her life by Islam? Marriage (which it seems you want this to eventually lead to) is an undeniably huge part of your life. Like it or not it will affect relationships with everyone you are close to. It will change the course of your every day life, your children's lives, and their children's lives. It will change other people's perceptions of you no matter what, and let's put the romanticism behind us; other people's opinions do matter.

I think as soon as you figure out the problem of parents you will be faced with a million other problems; out of the pan and into the fire so to speak. That's my opinion.
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
I had the impression that by the last post by Aisha ji, she had actually figured out what she was going to do and was comfortable with her current ideas of how to move forward in life. Maybe I missed something. Of course thngs are not "perfect." But Aisha ji wrote things that tell she is looking at life as an open journey and taking life's realities, both positive and disappointing, very objectively. She is not abandoning her hopes, and she is willing to live within very real limitations. She is also fully aware of obstacles that face her, is willing to share her insights and knowledge with others. She wants to develop her talents and abilities in the near future. The more distant future... that is a different story. Aisha is discovering wisdom, and at a very young age. In other words:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."
 
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arshdeep88

SPNer
Mar 13, 2013
312
642
36
aisha ji
see if this video helps you in some prospective or not
its from movie Khuda Ke Liye
i dont know if what Naseerudin Shah is saying is right or wrong with respect to the religion
but you can always verify it out

Khuda Kay Liye - Best Scene (Final Court Scene) - YouTube


last but not the least i feel you can take some help of some good,loving and humble open minded religious scholar of your community whom you can trust and pour your heart open too
and yeah i mean those words HUMBLE and LOVING,he doesnt have to be close minded
 

arshdeep88

SPNer
Mar 13, 2013
312
642
36
Aisha Ji
The Word Muslim means a person who has surrendered his will to the almighty god
in Sikhi its one of the basic teaching when Guru Nanak Dev Ji Says In jap Ji Sahib "Hukum Razai Chlna Nanak Likeha Naal"
Your Boyfriend can talk with his mom about the things that she had hatredness for Muslims
he can tell his mom that Guru Nanak Dev Mahraj Had closest Living Friend Mardana who was a Muslim,the first foundation of the Golden temple was laid by Muslim Saint named Miya Mir,he was also a close to 5th Guru ,Guru Arjan Dev Mahraj Ji
And moreover there is bani too in the Guru Granth Sahib From Muslim Fakirs named Baba Fareed Ji so personally i feel the hatredness in your boyfriends mom can be eased out by your boyfriend
The Sikh clashes were not against Muslims Or Hindus Or Anyone it was against Injustice
which your boyfriend can make her mom understand by citing out examples
ok one thing more i checked out from net which you too can check
see for Moran Sarkar ,she was a muslim girl whom Mahraja Ranjit Singh married.Your boyfriend's Mom can be persuaded ,his dad is ready,so from his family side there is some chance
only your family i think will be very tough and hard to persuade as i myself haven't come across any open minded muslim yet who is even ready to respect Guru Granth Sahib And Gurus and shed away his ego forget about marrying someone from other religion(but must say i was happy too see you learning Sikhism and respecting and answering some queries from the prospective of sikhism,so it changed my mind about muslims a bit)
the thing is that why i am telling you some common things are because it can help your parents a bit in knowing each other's religion and might ultimately resolve some decision for the best of you both

study your religion and let him study his,side by side study each others religion too with some history ,maybe the answer of all the problems lies in your respective religious Holy Books

Bhul Chuk Maaf Ji
If I am Wrong Somewhere please correct me
 

ravneet_sb

Writer
SPNer
Nov 5, 2010
866
326
52
Dear all,

Mind was wandering, with no conclusions on many issues of life.
Like drinking, eating flesh, hair trimming, making relation ship,
keeping relation ship etc.

"I" or "Me" of "Human Ego" is most important, and it is one of the
most important longing ness
of mind.

Like for hunger there is food which satisfy hunger
Food for Hungry "I" is "Respect"
To satisfy this hunger "I" seek more space, higher position, higher
education, inter religious,
inter caste, inter religion, inter family relation ships, it depends on "I"

"I" want partner, as reflection of "my own self".
It also satisfy the "I" of family.
"I" which belongs to father, mother, brother, sister.

Purpose of life remains "I" and satisfaction of "I"

For "Gurmukh"

"Sikh" or "Learning" is the religion for all humans on earth.
They follow principal
" Ji Kaho" :Ji Kahao"
give respect to all, to earn respect, and not to wander for space,
position. fake relations without
understanding and mutual respect, may be intercast/ inter religion.

It's for "I" to decide, to have partner of "Gursikh" concept, may be
of any caste, religion.
or man made "I"

Concern of the life "I" is "mutual respect"

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
 

sameer34

SPNer
Apr 1, 2013
1
4
Hi Aisha,

I've spent the morning reading about your dilemma and it has really touched my heart. Having been in an interfaith relationship in the past, I know how family members can react, and you're lucky to have at least two of them that are supportive of the two of you. There is, unfortunately, no easy way to get the approval of everyone. All I can say is that I wish you and your BF the best of luck; and if time is what you need, then may the next three years be all that is required for you two to overcome your obstacles.

Your Brother,
Sameer
 
Dec 17, 2015
1
2
31
Hello aisha i read out your problem i am sikh girl i am deeply and truly in love with my sikhi and i would not like to suggest you anything wrong, so thing is i have seen 4 relationships in UAE they were sikhs and muslims and unfortunately they all got ended with divorce either 2nd marriage of a boy! I've been here since 11 years with my family and have seen my problems like this co's now its seems very easy to say i will do my worship and he will do his worship! Things get changed my dear after marriage you can't raised your childrens without any religion they will be an atheist i have seen my examples here i don't want to disheartened to you co's i can feel when you truly loves someone and there is problem about religions !! The last solution is from both of you one person should have to convert but you can't be sikh until unless you will not accept sikhi from heart and loyalty! Wish you all the best dear Aisha❤️
 

Rajwinder

Writer
SPNer
May 2, 2006
77
57
I felt sad and funny at the same time when i read this post. Sad because this is the world we created for our next generation where as simple and harmless thing like "two people like each other and want to spend good time for coming up life" cannot be done without lot of noise ( thanks to all the religions collectively ). Funny .. because i think the boy and the girl didnt paid attention during their whole life till now that these so called religious families of theirs keep telling them that "god is one and we respect all the religions" but there was a "*" at the end which says "conditions apply" like marriage , gf-bf , caste etc .. so my advice is that although miracles happen and it is a holiday season but in my past experience with some of my friends they actually kept their EQ high > kept clear communication with each other > found some soft corners in both families > approach them first and convenience them > do good risk management like plan B for education , career and job in future > then do the final talk with all this mix * ( conditions apply ) ;-) .. good luck
 

Ayah_2023

SPNer
Apr 5, 2023
4
0
33
Hi Aisha, It's been over a decade and I find myself coming across this thread and in the same boat... I recently met a Sikh boy quiet similar to yours and we both find ourselves in 'love'. We both believe in our respective faiths as they have been our light during our own tough times.

We both want to be together and get married and his family are quiet open and liberal, he loves Sikhi and I love Islam and he doesn't want me to change but I am scared of what will happen. I've been trying to find similar situations and to see if it works, to stop myself from going crazy and thinking I will go to hell If I do this. I do want a marriage and a nikah - a blessing and in my heart I believe Allah is everyone's God, our language or colour might be different but If you open us up, we all have the same organs and heart. How can our Creator therefore be different then?

I resonated with much of what you said in your posts and pray that iA it did work out for you both as I feel he is my better half and he believes I am his. We compliment each other and find peace in each other, peace like I have never known before from a human. I thought this is what God says marriage and love should be - it says our spouses are like 'garments' for us and sent down for us so we can find 'tranquility' in them... to me even though I am Muslim and he is Sikh, he is a believer as we both believe in One God, love, humanity, compassion, seveh - charity work, kindess and in working hard and doing our best.

I am keen to know if your relationship worked out, did you get married? Are you still married? How do you feel about your faith now?
 

swarn bains

Poet
SPNer
Apr 8, 2012
887
190
i met a christian girl who married a muslim who was from Iran. for a few years they stayed togather and had one son. then suddenly the man wanted her to convert to islam and go to iran with him. she said no. he took the son and went to iran and disappeared. she was in pain. seein that my suggestion is the interfaith marriage does not work. some day one becomes erratic and the marriage breaks up and divorce takes place. my suggestion to you both s to live togather boyfriend and girl friend till it lasts and enjoy. inter faith marriage never works because all religions hate each other. the new religion comes into existence by finding faults with the previous one. one day that hate is going to come up and marriage breaks down. so the best thing in opinion is live togather as long as you can and when bitterness originates split up. thank you
 
Oct 6, 2023
40
0
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Thank you for your reply, it is very much appreciated!

I couldn't care less about what society thinks about my relationship with my boyfriend, I'm not going to lose sleep over not being invited to parties or other events because they think that Aunt Aisha is "going to be a bad influence on the other young Muslim girls".

I commemorate you for sticking up for your wife. I can't tell you the number of people I know who would have given in to their family's emotional blackmail and shunning, but it takes a real man to stand up for what he believes in, no matter what anyone else thinks.

I am "practicing" to an extent. I try to do as many prayers on time as possible, though school and work always comes first. I still pray 1-2 times a day, but there are quite a number of days where I can get all 5 prayers in. I don't see praying as a useless ritual, it helps me feel like I am connected to God and brings me peace of mind. There are things in Islam, like making Hajj and praying in a certain direction that I disagree with. I like the Sikh view better, that God does not live in any one place but is rather all around us and in us as well. Nevertheless, if you get down to the bare bones and throw away the politics, Islam is very fulfilling for the spiritually-inclined, which is why I still call myself a Muslim.

As for him, he cuts his hair but knows more about Sikhism than most turbaned Sikhs do. In fact, judging from one of your other posts in this thread, he sounds a lot like you Mr. Harry Haller Ji! He does not claim that reincarnation is what happens after death, but he is grateful to have Sikhism as a moral compass to fall back on in situations where he would otherwise not know what to do. He is an active member of the Gurdwara community, will often spend his time listening to the prayers there and claims that volunteering (seva?) during his free time is one of his favorite pass times. He takes the truth very seriously and will not follow religion if it leads him off the path that science has beat. Because Sikhism is very spiritual and doesn't seem to have politics incorporated into it's fabric, he doesn't have a lot to complain about, and he claims that it is the only religion that he will ever follow.

I tell you all this because I didn't want there to be the false illusion of us being 2 people who call ourselves Muslim and Sikh yet know nothing about our respective religions or who do not practice it at all, because we do, just in moderation.

The reason our beliefs don't contradict is because we both use religion as a means of connecting with the supreme ruler of the universe, not as a vessel from which to launch attacks or tell other people how they can or cannot live their lives.


Thank you for this:



It isn't just cultural. Most Muslims will point to Islam and say that I am not supposed to marry a non-Muslim man. This is a religious problem as well. But I don't see the issue in two people, who understand each other and have come to a compromise, getting married if they truly love each other. But it doesn't matter to my parents, I wish it was just cultural, but it isn't. I don't know how to convince them that I can be a Muslim even if my husband is not.

He is meeting my parents first. My fingers are crossed that it all goes well!


And if his parents get angry at me just because I'm a Muslim, then what? What does Sikhism say about a Muslim girl and Sikh boy being together?

Thank you! :)
Wow sounds like Romeo and Juliet. Wish you luck.
 
Dec 21, 2022
20
0
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Thank you for your reply, it is very much appreciated!

I couldn't care less about what society thinks about my relationship with my boyfriend, I'm not going to lose sleep over not being invited to parties or other events because they think that Aunt Aisha is "going to be a bad influence on the other young Muslim girls".

I commemorate you for sticking up for your wife. I can't tell you the number of people I know who would have given in to their family's emotional blackmail and shunning, but it takes a real man to stand up for what he believes in, no matter what anyone else thinks.

I am "practicing" to an extent. I try to do as many prayers on time as possible, though school and work always comes first. I still pray 1-2 times a day, but there are quite a number of days where I can get all 5 prayers in. I don't see praying as a useless ritual, it helps me feel like I am connected to God and brings me peace of mind. There are things in Islam, like making Hajj and praying in a certain direction that I disagree with. I like the Sikh view better, that God does not live in any one place but is rather all around us and in us as well. Nevertheless, if you get down to the bare bones and throw away the politics, Islam is very fulfilling for the spiritually-inclined, which is why I still call myself a Muslim.

As for him, he cuts his hair but knows more about Sikhism than most turbaned Sikhs do. In fact, judging from one of your other posts in this thread, he sounds a lot like you Mr. Harry Haller Ji! He does not claim that reincarnation is what happens after death, but he is grateful to have Sikhism as a moral compass to fall back on in situations where he would otherwise not know what to do. He is an active member of the Gurdwara community, will often spend his time listening to the prayers there and claims that volunteering (seva?) during his free time is one of his favorite pass times. He takes the truth very seriously and will not follow religion if it leads him off the path that science has beat. Because Sikhism is very spiritual and doesn't seem to have politics incorporated into it's fabric, he doesn't have a lot to complain about, and he claims that it is the only religion that he will ever follow.

I tell you all this because I didn't want there to be the false illusion of us being 2 people who call ourselves Muslim and Sikh yet know nothing about our respective religions or who do not practice it at all, because we do, just in moderation.

The reason our beliefs don't contradict is because we both use religion as a means of connecting with the supreme ruler of the universe, not as a vessel from which to launch attacks or tell other people how they can or cannot live their lives.


Thank you for this:



It isn't just cultural. Most Muslims will point to Islam and say that I am not supposed to marry a non-Muslim man. This is a religious problem as well. But I don't see the issue in two people, who understand each other and have come to a compromise, getting married if they truly love each other. But it doesn't matter to my parents, I wish it was just cultural, but it isn't. I don't know how to convince them that I can be a Muslim even if my husband is not.

He is meeting my parents first. My fingers are crossed that it all goes well!


And if his parents get angry at me just because I'm a Muslim, then what? What does Sikhism say about a Muslim girl and Sikh boy being together?

Thank you! :)
According to the true sikh faith a boy cannot have any relationship with a girl before marriage , friendship leads to relationship . It’s called amrit sanchar . I always follow the gurbani even naw that I am a muslim it’s only because of gurbani that I follow islam . Since ALLAH is the same god I pray to . Check my other posts I have answered a similar question today . There is only one ALLAH . Just have him sincerely say the shahada and explain that there is only one god so why not believe in ISLAM and follow islam
 
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