Maryada And Sikhi

[Danita]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Khalsa Fatah Ji. Sahiban ji, I am a punjabi girl from India(Hoshiarpur) and from last 3 years here in Europe. Here one thing that is really hitting me badly is mix sauna. Here nudity is so widely accepted as its nothing. Mix sauna where men and women absolutely without any clothes go, and to horror families go together too, meaning (father and daughter), (mother and son) together NUDE !!!There are nude beaches too here.
here is a sikh family but they have accepted this, and mother(53 yreas) and son(35 years) , go together there. To my horror daughter and father too. I understand modern views but nudity to total!

PLEASE HELP - Is maryada taught by SRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB JI?
Sikhism is modern religion, people are liberal about eating all kind of meat, can wear jeans not much strict rules but what about nudity. PLEASE HELP.
My mother -in.law takes her gutka in the sauna and does her path there. Is this path acceptable. My mother-in-law is from India, but from last 30 years here in europe.
But topic for guidance is maryada - even when somebody is not sikh or a normal sikh who is not yet amritdhari follows some regulation of gurudwara- sir dhaka hove-head should be covered in gurudwara. What about outside Gurudwara, can one do whatever one wants? Can one take Gutka to sauna, those beaches or to discos?

I request some insight guidance on this, you may not cover this post on site but at least some litrate of SGGS can help in guiding this.

My life is getting badly effected by this, how I accept a mother-in-law worthy of respect and love when she goes to such nude places with my husband. Till now I have not gone to any such place, but now a question as she poses me your path as brought you sorrows and my path done anywhere anyway is giving me so much. I understand some difference as i am from Punjab village and this is Europe but marayda of sikh should be universal or it is variable according to place?

Hoping for Help positively
Danita Gupta

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[spnadmin]

danita ji

The maryada does not address the issues you have listed. Does that mean that we have a green light to take a gutka into a sauna or bathe co-ed? Sometimes a rule book is not the answer, but common sense and an understanding of gurbani will take us further in resolving our doubts. The Sikh Rehat Maryada is not properly even a rule book but a set of by laws for living a Sikh life as individuals and in sangat.

So if we take one issue at a time and think out loud we might get some practical answers which can serve us better than searching for guidelines.

Let me explain You are showing the flag of India on your profile, but say you are in Europe. Where in Europe. If in Finland, co-ed nudity in saunas has been the norm for centuries. This would not be an example of venturing into modern or progressive territory. For someone from a traditional society it would naturally be a shock.

So I close with two questions.

Have you asked any of your in-laws, for example your mother in law, why he/she is not disturbed by open nudity? The answer may have nothing to do with sex or lust.

Have you considered how a gutka is properly cared for? You answer should have nothing to do with what your family says or does.

In the end your horror is less important than the inner guidance system that you use to make your personal decisions about Sikhi.

 

[ugsbay]

SSA.
Danita Ji here in Europe there are a lot of things which some from the East may find offensive & immoral. All Nationalities have there own cultures a westerner may find the Eastern culture very weird and alien. It is our own initiative and perception that normaly keeps us on our toes as to what is right for us. Where i live there are some Strip Clubs but that does not mean i and my family should go and visit.
Sorry i know you are serious but like i said it is upto us individualy to know what is right for us. I am sure there are Saunas there where you live that are more private than the one you described but again its upto us which ones we chose to use.
I can see your point coming from Punjab but i have never in my life encountered what you have just described regarding families and nudity. Mind you i have never used a Sauna.

 

[spnadmin]

danita ji and ugsbay ji

I have to do more thinking about this situation. I agree that danitaji should not agree to any practice - nudity or any thing else - that makes her uncomfortable.

For you danita that probably means no nude sauna. You should not be pressured or forced.

In the US where I am located most people, Sikhs or not, do not agree to family nudity in saunas or anywhere else. We have been described by most of Europe as sexually repressed. And most of us don't care what Europe thinks of our sexual repression either. Only a small, fast, element of American society would do that. Most would not and most would find this situation not only weird but morally deplorable. I am one of them. Personally I would also be very uncomfortable even to be around this practice. That does not address your problem because you are in a family that feels otherwise.

So what you need and what some of us might begin to consider is how you can cope.

More later.