Lust & Sexuality

[spnadmin]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

drkhalsa ji

I understand what you say about the forum. But you are never completely hidden in a forum. Individuals on the prowl are looking for prey. The are like predators -- they can smell their prey. Sharing a lot of personal information is like vulnerability to them. They don't have your address of course. But then what they do is cultivate relationships, go to private messaging, get more information about you that way. You are their target. And they are very patient. They then follow you from forum to forum, spreading rumors using cyber bullying. Or they are very kind and seem to care. Next you are being followed everywhere and even to your front door. This is no exaggeration.

 

[stupidjassi]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

WJJKWJKF,

my observations:

1. more you think of sex, you find yourself in sex.
2. More you read , wathch porn, you find yourself in porn.
3. Do NOT completely reject masturbation because it is a natural phenomenon. Excess and absence of masturbation will cause physical disorder.
4. Practice absentee till marriage if not because guru says, then because of AIDS and involvement in pregnancy etc.
5. practice Naam simran or gurbani everyday ( preffered mor time) . and TURST ME, it does help. because then your subconscious just turn your focus to god rather than sex.

6. Having thoughts of sex / lust means =>
-> you are spending time in home doing nothing
-> you have nothing productive to do
-> you are shy by nature and do not indulge with people
-> you think too much

7. Always remember , SEX is break of Horror and Horror is break of sex
( if you feeling excessive feeling of sex, watch horror, or read horror ,etc. reading about death, blood, wars, our history etc. )

8. Practice GATKA, or join any physical activity like gym , yoga etc. In this way your body will not allow you to indulge in masturbation and sex. (that`s the best way i found )

if you find this helpful , please let me know
stupidjassi

 

[drkhalsa]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

drkhalsa ji

I understand what you say about the forum. But you are never completely hidden in a forum. Individuals on the prowl are looking for prey. The are like predators -- they can smell their prey. Sharing a lot of personal information is like vulnerability to them. They don't have your address of course. But then what they do is cultivate relationships, go to private messaging, get more information about you that way. You are their target. And they are very patient. They then follow you from forum to forum, spreading rumors using cyber bullying. Or they are very kind and seem to care. Next you are being followed everywhere and even to your front door. This is no exaggeration.

Dear Add Ji


I got your point ! and this is the reason I would discourage everybody to use PM ( personal message ) to be in contact with somebody until unless you are pretty sure who he/she is .

Thanks for good advice !

if you find this helpful , please let me know
stupidjassi

Dear Friend

All your suggestion are really worth in my opinion it will definately help many .
Thanks for sharing it !


Jatinder Singh

 

[spnadmin]

Re: Help me please

Anoop!

This is what you just recently posted.

i am now 19 and still carry on this dirty behaviour. I just feel as if I have lost alot...and when i mean lost alot im talking about vital body energy...life force energy..which i think has led me to stop growing properly...i feel sick very often... and tired and its like a hellish experience which i cant describe... I feel as if the damage has already been done... i would use any means necessary to go to dirty websites and surf everyday...go on chatrooms which are bad.... im a really good person, and love my family...but since i was young, ive had these habbits and have felt like a sick puppet to pornography....i cant help it...and once i have finnished with this dirty session, i would feel so guilty and depressed...i would cry inside....i dont know whats wrong with me... i feel so fed up of life...

It sounds like you are willing to move forward -- because you are showing regret. If all of this is eating away at you and you are aware of its effects on your life, then it is not too late to change.

My earlier remarks were met with some criticism. But I REPEAT -- you can be helped but need to get professional help. You are going to porn sites. You can't seem to stop behavior that is causing you a lot of pain. Nothing you have tried has worked. I sounds like a sex addiction to me. No diffferent from alcohol or drug addictions. Except people think that is ridiculous. It is not ridiculous. And addictions throw a person's life into chaos. Life is wasted.

So maybe you cannot solve this on your own. There is nothing wrong with seeking the help of doctors and therapists who specialize in sex addictions. Get professional help.

The forum will try to support you with advice and even with "hard talk" -- but we don't walk in your shoes and we cannot give the support that in the end will help you. Don't waste anymore time thinking, talking and suffering.

If you don't know how to find this help where you live, let me know and I will do some research for you.

 

[drkhalsa]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

Dear Add ji


I agree fully with you
For the first time I read what Anoop has written
It shows clearly that he /she is kind of depressed and this seems to be the main issue and not the sexual issue

So DEFINATELY i WOULD ALSO ADVICE ANOOP TO GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP!!

 

[spnadmin]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

drkhalsa ji

Thanks. I had logged off and then thought about what you said about "depression". After a while friends and family will start scolding that person, tell them to change the way they think, or just shut down and refuse to discuss things.

This link lays out the kind of pain Anoop describes.
Criteria for Sex Addiction

And you are right. Depression is lying underneath the behavior. Good that you saw that. It got me thinking more.

 

[consfused boy]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

Is masturbation considered a sin in sikhism? Every time I masturbate I think it is a sin for some reason. I don't think I do it too often. But then again I've never really asked anyone else how much they do it if they do it at all. I ask God for forgiveness. But I don't know if he does forgive or if I'm even doing anything wrong. I see from other posts though it seems like you guys say it is natural. It's kind of embarrasing to even write this.
Thank you.

 

[stupidjassi]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

Well,
Masturbation not a sin. The reason behind is because its natural. But you should be aware of the fact that 'It is not good for your body' as well as your mind and which of course ultimately leads to sin.

I have forgotten the Page no. in SGGS ( which clearly talk about masturbation. But you can search for it and please let me know if you find it ) But i remember the message. SGGS says that ' our semen is made from ( i guess ) 60 types of nutritions and vitamins , which are vital for human body, So why do waste them for pleasure?'

Finally i just wanna say that try to breath whenever you find yourself in these problems, and try to Do NAAM SIMRAN.

Tell you what, Now Masturbation is an issue with you but as you grow in naam simran you`ll find this problem to be solved automatically. Just let it be natural and protect yourself from five sins.

You may also find this helpful What is the Sikh attitude towards masturbation? | Sikhism101.com | UniversalFaith.net

bhul chuk maf
stupidjassi

Is masturbation considered a sin in sikhism? Every time I masturbate I think it is a sin for some reason. I don't think I do it too often. But then again I've never really asked anyone else how much they do it if they do it at all. I ask God for forgiveness. But I don't know if he does forgive or if I'm even doing anything wrong. I see from other posts though it seems like you guys say it is natural. It's kind of embarrasing to even write this.
Thank you.

 

[spnadmin]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

Short note:

Keep in mind the difference between expressions of sexuality that are natural and sexual compulsions that throw the rest of your life into chaos because you cannot get it out of your mind. The world and its material reality can be a beautiful thing, and a gift from God. To be trapped in Maya means to be obsessed with the physical world. Mistaking the physical world for the greater Truth.

 

[Sikh80]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

Very well said respected aad ji. masturbation is natural but seeking advice abt. it is not. Let the kids play around till thier parents listen to the Bells., godwilling,........

 

[consfused boy]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

so it is not a sin and I should not worrying about wronging God everytime I do it? Also I have read some of those articles and they seem very contradicting to a ton of other articles regarding the benefits/disadvantages of masturbating. For instance, most of the articles say it is not any of these:
Fatigue
* Feeling tired all the time
* Lower back pain
* Stress / Anxiety
* Thinning hair / Hair Loss
* Soft / Weak Erection
* Premature Ejaculation
* Eye floaters or fuzzy vision
* Groin / Testicular Pain
* Peyronie's disease
* Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tail b
found in the article posted above.
Is it considered lust? Thanks for letting me know.

 

[Sikh80]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

I had a paint that was very long and my friend suggested that it I should get it 'cut' to size and I did I was happy thereafter and never bothered any Forum with my question of my paint.
May be it helps.

 

[consfused boy]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

What??? DO you say I got my answer I should stop asking now?
Thanks.

 

[Sikh80]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

I said 'May be it helps". It is subjective assessment of the things.No.....what do you think..You can always ask....... but you are also free to change the venue....No..,if you so wish''......else we will always help you out..........

 

[consfused boy]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

okay Thank you. It does help. I spend a lot of time and energy on punishing myself for my actions if I have masturbated. I think it is because I don't want God to do the punishing. I don't know though. But anyways, this will help me a lot now that I know I am not commiting a sin.
Thank you.

 

[spnadmin]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

okay Thank you. It does help. I spend a lot of time and energy on punishing myself for my actions if I have masturbated. I think it is because I don't want God to do the punishing. I don't know though. But anyways, this will help me a lot now that I know I am not commiting a sin.
Thank you.

If you are not constantly thinking and worried. If you are not avoiding life and people. If you are not changing your day's activity because of the compulsion to masturbate. If you are not always afraid you will be caught, or that others somehow "know". If you are not exhausted by your fears and worries. You are OK.

The other thing that needs to be said in a Sikh forum -- there is nothing wrong with spending some quality time asking Akaal Purakh :star: for insight when you are not sure. You will not be judged, scolded, told to take up a hobby, advised to straighten out your thinking, dragged off to a baba for a good dressing down, rejected or ignored, lectured, snubbed, or treated like a freak.

 

[consfused boy]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

more like I feel the need to clean everything. disenfect everything that I may have touched after masturbation. Including taking a long shower. then I ask God for fogiveness usually. but now I probably won't have to since it isn't a sin. I only do it maybe twice a week or once a week. however I will not go crazy.

 

[punjabikiren]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

keep urself busy all the time

 

[consfused boy]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

what about looking at pictures when someone masturbates. is that a sin? in terms of lust. it is very hard to do it without pictues if at all probably for some.

 

[stupidjassi]

Re: Help me please - (Lust & Sexuality)

what about looking at pictures when someone masturbates. is that a sin? in terms of lust. it is very hard to do it without pictues if at all probably for some.

ok now, Yes it is sin. Masturbation in this kind of sense is surely sin. Sin to your body first and then to your mind ultymatly sin. As i said before, masturbation might not be a sin but it does LEED to sin. So i just wanna say , ' you become wht you think'.
I wanna ask you to do a simple practice. 'Close your eyes and DONT think of a monkey which has long tail' . Can you do that?
No .because , you are keep thinking of monkey which has long tail. Same way, if you think abot masturbation you`ll never get rid of it.
I personally recommend you , to read bani. Japji sahib in mor and rehras sahib in eve. AND TRUST ME , this `ll does help. It worked for me as well.
so stop thinking talking about masturbation because as you more think abot it, i`ll be more problem for you. BUt when you`ll forget abot ut, you`ll realise that it`ll be no longer a problem.

So read bani and have with it.
leave stupid fun (masturbation) and taste the real one.

stupidjassi