LOVE/ਭਾਉ
ABSTRACT
The word Love is from Old English lufu, connected with Sanskrit lubh, 'to desire' and Latin lubere, 'to please’. It represents a strong feeling of personal affection, care, and desire for the well-being of another.
ਸਚੁ ਸਲਾਹਨਿ ਸੇ ਸਚੇ ਸਚਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਅਧਾਰੁ ॥ ਸਚੀ ਕਾਰ ਕਮਾਵਣੀ ਸਚੇ ਨਾਲਿ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥
Sacẖ salāhan sė sacẖė sacẖā nām aḏẖār.Sachee Kaar Kamaavnee Sachay Naal Pi-aar.
Those who praise the True One are true; the True Name is their Support.One should act truthfully, in love with the True Akal Purkh. -----Guru Ramdas, Siri Raag, AGGS, Page, 34-6
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In Greek there are three words for love:
1. First, 'agape' means the love of God for devotee, the love of devotee for God. It represents divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing, active, volitional, and thoughtful love, which encompasses the unselfish love of people for the others. This type of love (ਵਛਲ) is a primary characteristic of God's nature (ਬਿਰਦ) toward devotee.
2. The second Greek word for love is 'philia' which is friendship or brotherly love.
3. The third Greek word for love is 'eros' meaning erotic love Lust/ਕਾਮਿ. It is also defined as deep, tender affection, romantic attraction, and a sense of oneness, intense desire, infatuation, sexual feelings, and emotional attachment. An enthusiastic predilection can also be called love. To love is to feel or express any of these.
There is difference between pleasure and happiness as there is between lust and love. Love is long lasting bliss or happiness creating bondage and attachment. Lust and pleasure on the other hand are transitory. Love as a universal and apparently inconsistent emotion seems almost incapable of definition.
The meaning of love offers and explains that love is the most intense, clear, logical, and meaningful of all the relations. Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. Love is like an eternal flame, once it is lit, it will continue to burn for all time. It involves three key elements;
1. Emotions --how we feel about each other.
2. Ethics --how good or bad we are for each other.
3. Joys --how much we satisfy or dissatisfy each other.
Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous or boastful. Nor is it arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way. So it is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at a wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; endures all things.
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection as well as God Itself. God responds to devotional love by love to Its devotees. This is Its innate nature, as expressed in the following hymns;
ਭਗਤਿ ਵਛਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਬਿਰਦੁ ਹੈ ਹਰਿ ਲਾਜ ਰਖਾਇਆ ॥
Bhagat Vachhal Har Birad Hai Har Laaj Rakhaa-i-aa.
It is the Akal Purkh's innate natura to love Its devotees. O, God, please preserve my honor.-----Guru Ramdas, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 449-6
ਭਗਤ ਵਛਲੁ ਤੇਰਾ ਬਿਰਦੁ ਰਖਾਇਆ ਜੀਉ ॥
Bhagat Vachhal Tayraa Birad Rakhaa-i-aa Jee-ou.
You are the Lover of Your devotees; this is Your innate Nature.-----Guru Arjan Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 216-15
ਭਗਤਿ ਵਛਲ ਅਨਾਥ ਨਾਥੇ ਸਰਣਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਪੁਰਖ ਅਚੁਤਹ ॥
Bhagat Vachal Anaath Naathay Saran Nanak Purakh Achuteh.
God is the Lover of Its devotees, the Master of the master less. Nanak has entered the sanctuary of the imperishable primal Akal Purkh.-----Guru Arjan, Sahs Kriti Slokes, AGGS, Page, 1358-18
There is difference;
• Between love and infatuation?
• Between love and attraction?
• Between love and sexual desire?
• Between love and friendship?
• Between sex and intimacy?
• Between a good relationship and one that is only pleasurable?
Love is of two kinds;
1. Divine or spiritual love is without duality and is the basis of Sikh Faith. Sikh Gurus explained the spiritual love by exemplifying the God as Husband, though God does not have a gender, and individual conscience as bride indicating the purity of this devotional love coming from the depth of the heart/mind with complete inner cleanliness;
Guru Nanak ponders on it in Raag Maru;
ਕੋਈ ਆਖੈ ਭੂਤਨਾ ਕੋ ਕਹੈ ਬੇਤਾਲਾ ॥ ਕੋਈ ਆਖੈ ਆਦਮੀ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਵੇਚਾਰਾ ॥ ਭਇਆ ਦਿਵਾਨਾ ਸਾਹ ਕਾ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬਉਰਾਨਾ ॥ ਹਉ ਹਰਿ ਬਿਨੁ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਜਾਨਾ ॥ ਤਉ ਦੇਵਾਨਾ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਭੈ ਦੇਵਾਨਾ ਹੋਇ ॥ ਏਕੀ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਬਾਹਰਾ ਦੂਜਾ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਜਾਣੈ ਕੋਇ ॥ ਤਉ ਦੇਵਾਨਾ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਏਕਾ ਕਾਰ ਕਮਾਇ ॥ ਹੁਕਮੁ ਪਛਾਣੈ ਖਸਮ ਕਾ ਦੂਜੀ ਅਵਰ ਸਿਆਣਪ ਕਾਇ ॥ ਤਉ ਦੇਵਾਨਾ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਧਰੇ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥ ਮੰਦਾ ਜਾਣੈ ਆਪ ਕਉ ਅਵਰੁ ਭਲਾ ਸੰਸਾਰੁ ॥
Ko­ī ākẖai bẖūṯnā ko kahai bėṯālā. Ko­ī ākẖai āḏmī Nānak vėcẖārā. Bẖa­i­ā ḏivānā sāh kā Nānak ba­urānā. Ha­o har bin avar na jānā. Ŧa­o ḏėvānā jāṇī­ai jā bẖai ḏėvānā ho­ė. Ėkī sāhib bāhrā ḏūjā avar na jāṇai ko­ė. Ŧa­o ḏėvānā jāṇī­ai jā ėkā kār kamā­ė. Hukam pacẖẖāṇai kẖasam kā ḏūjī avar si­āṇap kā­ė. Ŧa­o ḏėvānā jāṇī­ai jā sāhib ḏẖarė pi­ār. Manḏā jāṇai āp ka­o avar bẖalā sansār.
Some call him a ghost; some say that he is a demon. Some call him a mere mortal; O, poor Nanak! Crazy Nanak has gone insane, after his Akal Purkh, the King. I know of none other than the It. He alone is known to be insane, when he goes insane with the Fear of God. He recognizes none other than the One Master. He alone is known to be insane, if he works for the One Akal Purkh. Recognizing the Hukam, the Command of his Master, what other cleverness is there? He alone is known to be insane, when he falls in love with his Akal Purkh. He sees himself as bad and all the rest of the world as good. -----Guru Nanak, Raag Maru, AGGS, Page, 991
Guru Angad comments on it in Raag Asa;
ਏਹ ਕਿਨੇਹੀ ਆਸਕੀ ਦੂਜੈ ਲਗੈ ਜਾਇ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਆਸਕੁ ਕਾਂਢੀਐ ਸਦ ਹੀ ਰਹੈ ਸਮਾਇ ॥ ਚੰਗੈ ਚੰਗਾ ਕਰਿ ਮੰਨੇ ਮੰਦੈ ਮੰਦਾ ਹੋਇ ॥ ਆਸਕੁ ਏਹੁ ਨ ਆਖੀਐ ਜਿ ਲੇਖੈ ਵਰਤੈ ਸੋਇ ॥
Ayh Kinay-hee Aaskee Doojai Lagai Jaa-ey, Nanak Aasak Kandhee-aa Sad He Rahai Samaa-ey, Changai Changaa Kar Manay Mandai Mandaa Hoey, Aasak Ayh Na Aakhee-ai Je Laykhai Vartai Soey.
What sort of love is this, which clings to duality Nanak, he alone is called a lover, who remains forever immersed in absorption. But one who feels good only when good is done for him, and feels bad when things go badly – is not called a lover. He trades only for his own account.------Guru Angad, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 474-4 & 5
ਕਹਾ ਭਯੋ ਦੋਊ ਲੋਚਨ ਮੂੰਦਕੈ ਬੈਠਿ ਰਹਿਓ ਬਕ ਧਯਾਨ ਲਗਾਇਓ ॥ ਬਾਸੁ ਕੀਓ ਬਿਖਿਆਨ ਸੋ ਬੈਠ ਕੈ ਐਸੇ ਹੀ ਐਸ ਸੁ ਬੈਸ ਬਤਾਇਓ ॥ ਸਾਚੁ ਕਹੌ ਸੁਨ ਲੇਹੁ ਸਭੈ ਜਿਨ ਪੇ੍ਮ ਕੀਉ ਤਿਨ ਹੀ ਪ੍ਭੁ ਪਾਇਓ ॥ ੯ ॥ ੨੯ ॥
Kaha Bhaeo Douo Lochan Moondkay Baith Rehio Bak Dhayan Lagaio, Baas Keo Bikhian Se Baith Ke Ais So Bais Bataio,Saach Kahou Sun Leh Sabhai Jin Prem Kio Tin He Prabh Paio.
What if you close your eyes and sit in meditation like a crane/heron; take ablutions in the seven seas- but this way you loose both this world and the next; if one continues to indulge in sinful things, he wastes his life; Let all listen to the truth I proclaim- only he who loves attains the Akal Purkh. -----Guru Gobind Singh, Akal Ustit, D.G. Page, 14-15
ਜੈਸੇ ਬਿਖੈ ਹੇਤ ਪਰ ਨਾਰੀ ॥ ਐਸੇ ਨਾਮੇ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਮੁਰਾਰੀ ॥
Jaise bikẖai heṯ par nārī. Aise nāme parīṯ murārī.
As the man driven by sex wants another man's wife, so does Naam Dev love the God. -----Nam Dev, Raag Gond, AGGS, Page, 874-4
2. Physical love or bondage/ਬੰਧਨ (Lust/ਕਾਮਿ)-- of parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, society, and even pets etc.
Love between soul and body;
ਕਾਇਆ ਹੰਸ ਕਿਆ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਹੈ ਜਿ ਪਇਆ ਹੀ ਛਡਿ ਜਾਇ ॥
Kaaeia Hans Kia Preet Hai Peiaa Hee Chadd Jaaey.
What love is this between the body and soul, which ends when the body falls?-----Guru Amardas, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 510-19
Love between parents, siblings, and a relative is an attachment (ਬੰਧਨ) and is of no use in spiritual sense;
ਮਾਤਾ ਪਿਤਾ ਸਭੁ ਹੇਤੁ ਹੈ ਹੇਤੇ ਪਲਚਾਈ ਰਾਮ ॥
Maataa Pitaa Sabh Hayt Hai Haytay Palchaa-ee Raam.
Mother and father -- all are subject to this love and are entangled in this love.-----Guru Amardas, Raag Vadhans, AGGS, Page, 571-11
ਮਨਮੁਖੁ ਮੋਹਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਬੈਰਾਗੁ ਉਦਾਸੀ ਨ ਹੋਇ ॥ ਸਤਗੁਰੁ ਸੇਵਿ ਮੋਹੁ ਪਰਜਲੈ ਘਰ ਹੀ ਮਾਹਿ ਉਦਾਸਾ ॥
Manmukh Moh Viaapiaa Bairag Udasee Na Hoey, Satgur Sayv Moh Parjaalai Ghar He Maa-eh Oudaasaa.
The self-willed person is engrossed in the love of worldly pleasures and falsehood. He cannot cultivate love for the Truth. The Guru willed rid themselves of worldly love of passion through the service of the Guru and enjoy the bliss of Akal Purkh’s love. -----Guru Amardas, Siri Raag, AGGS, Page, 29-10 & 12
Conclusion:
In Sikh Thought we are looking for the Love of True Naam with deliberation, understanding, and its reflection in daily life, which can be relished. All other kinds of love are false (ਕੂੜ). The Will of the God blesses the love of True Naam to the true devotee (ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ). When one is blessed with Its Grace he is protected from the beginning to the end.
ਆਦਿ ਮਧਿ ਜੋ ਅੰਤਿ ਨਿਬਾਹੈ ॥ ਸੋ ਸਾਜਨੁ ਮੇਰਾ ਮਨੁ ਚਾਹੈ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਕੀ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਸਦਾ ਸੰਗਿ ਚਾਲੈ ॥ ਦਇਆਲ ਪੁਰਖ ਪੂਰਨ ਪ੍ਰਤਿਪਾਲੈ ॥
Aad Madh Jo Unt Nibahai, So Saajan Mayra Man Chaahai, Har Kee Preet Sadaa Sung Chaalai, Diyaal Purkh Pooran Pritpalai.
My heart seeks after such a friend, who shall stand by me in the beginning, middle, and at the end. The Akal Purkh’s love for us lasts for ever. The compassionate, eternally supreme Master is our cherisher. -----Guru Arjan, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 240
Bhagat Ravidas explains his devotional love for God in Raag Sorath;
ਜਉ ਤੁਮ ਗਿਰਿਵਰ ਤਉ ਹਮ ਮੋਰਾ ॥ਜਉ ਤੁਮ ਚੰਦ ਤਉ ਹਮ ਭਏ ਹੈ ਚਕੋਰਾ ॥ਜਉ ਤੁਮ ਦੀਵਰਾ ਤਉ ਹਮ ਬਾਤੀ ॥ਜਉ ਤੁਮ ਤੀਰਥ ਤਉ ਹਮ ਜਾਤੀ ॥ਸਾਚੀ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਹਮ ਤੁਮ ਸਿਉ ਜੋਰੀ ॥ਤੁਮ ਸਿਉ ਜੋਰਿ ਅਵਰ ਸੰਗਿ ਤੋਰੀ ॥
Jaou Tum Girivar Taou Ham Moraa, Jaou Tum Chand Taou Ham Bha-ay Hai Chakoraa, Jaou Tum Deevraa Taou Ham Baatee, Jaou Tum Tirath Taou Ham Jaatee, Saachee Pareet Ham Tum Si-o Joree, Tum Si-o Jor Avar Sang Toree.
If You are the mountain, God, then I am the pea{censored}. If You are the moon, then I am the partridge in love with it. If You are the lamp, then I am the wick. If You are the sacred place of pilgrimage, then I am the pilgrim. I am joined in true love with You, Akal Purkh. I am joined with You, and I have broken with all others. -----Ravidas, Raag Sorath, AGGS, Page, 658
Virinder S. Grewal
Williamston, MI
