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Guru Granth Sahib
Composition, Arrangement & Layout
ਜਪੁ | Jup
ਸੋ ਦਰੁ | So Dar
ਸੋਹਿਲਾ | Sohilaa
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ | Raag Siree-Raag
Gurbani (14-53)
Ashtpadiyan (53-71)
Gurbani (71-74)
Pahre (74-78)
Chhant (78-81)
Vanjara (81-82)
Vaar Siri Raag (83-91)
Bhagat Bani (91-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਝ | Raag Maajh
Gurbani (94-109)
Ashtpadi (109)
Ashtpadiyan (110-129)
Ashtpadi (129-130)
Ashtpadiyan (130-133)
Bara Maha (133-136)
Din Raen (136-137)
Vaar Maajh Ki (137-150)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗਉੜੀ | Raag Gauree
Gurbani (151-185)
Quartets/Couplets (185-220)
Ashtpadiyan (220-234)
Karhalei (234-235)
Ashtpadiyan (235-242)
Chhant (242-249)
Baavan Akhari (250-262)
Sukhmani (262-296)
Thittee (296-300)
Gauree kii Vaar (300-323)
Gurbani (323-330)
Ashtpadiyan (330-340)
Baavan Akhari (340-343)
Thintteen (343-344)
Vaar Kabir (344-345)
Bhagat Bani (345-346)
ਰਾਗੁ ਆਸਾ | Raag Aasaa
Gurbani (347-348)
Chaupaday (348-364)
Panchpadde (364-365)
Kaafee (365-409)
Aasaavaree (409-411)
Ashtpadiyan (411-432)
Patee (432-435)
Chhant (435-462)
Vaar Aasaa (462-475)
Bhagat Bani (475-488)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੂਜਰੀ | Raag Goojaree
Gurbani (489-503)
Ashtpadiyan (503-508)
Vaar Gujari (508-517)
Vaar Gujari (517-526)
ਰਾਗੁ ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ | Raag Dayv-Gandhaaree
Gurbani (527-536)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਹਾਗੜਾ | Raag Bihaagraa
Gurbani (537-556)
Chhant (538-548)
Vaar Bihaagraa (548-556)
ਰਾਗੁ ਵਡਹੰਸ | Raag Wadhans
Gurbani (557-564)
Ashtpadiyan (564-565)
Chhant (565-575)
Ghoriaan (575-578)
Alaahaniiaa (578-582)
Vaar Wadhans (582-594)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੋਰਠਿ | Raag Sorath
Gurbani (595-634)
Asatpadhiya (634-642)
Vaar Sorath (642-659)
ਰਾਗੁ ਧਨਾਸਰੀ | Raag Dhanasaree
Gurbani (660-685)
Astpadhiya (685-687)
Chhant (687-691)
Bhagat Bani (691-695)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਤਸਰੀ | Raag Jaitsree
Gurbani (696-703)
Chhant (703-705)
Vaar Jaitsaree (705-710)
Bhagat Bani (710)
ਰਾਗੁ ਟੋਡੀ | Raag Todee
ਰਾਗੁ ਬੈਰਾੜੀ | Raag Bairaaree
ਰਾਗੁ ਤਿਲੰਗ | Raag Tilang
Gurbani (721-727)
Bhagat Bani (727)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੂਹੀ | Raag Suhi
Gurbani (728-750)
Ashtpadiyan (750-761)
Kaafee (761-762)
Suchajee (762)
Gunvantee (763)
Chhant (763-785)
Vaar Soohee (785-792)
Bhagat Bani (792-794)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਲਾਵਲੁ | Raag Bilaaval
Gurbani (795-831)
Ashtpadiyan (831-838)
Thitteen (838-840)
Vaar Sat (841-843)
Chhant (843-848)
Vaar Bilaaval (849-855)
Bhagat Bani (855-858)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੋਂਡ | Raag Gond
Gurbani (859-869)
Ashtpadiyan (869)
Bhagat Bani (870-875)
ਰਾਗੁ ਰਾਮਕਲੀ | Raag Ramkalee
Ashtpadiyan (902-916)
Gurbani (876-902)
Anand (917-922)
Sadd (923-924)
Chhant (924-929)
Dakhnee (929-938)
Sidh Gosat (938-946)
Vaar Ramkalee (947-968)
ਰਾਗੁ ਨਟ ਨਾਰਾਇਨ | Raag Nat Narayan
Gurbani (975-980)
Ashtpadiyan (980-983)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਲੀ ਗਉੜਾ | Raag Maalee Gauraa
Gurbani (984-988)
Bhagat Bani (988)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਰੂ | Raag Maaroo
Gurbani (889-1008)
Ashtpadiyan (1008-1014)
Kaafee (1014-1016)
Ashtpadiyan (1016-1019)
Anjulian (1019-1020)
Solhe (1020-1033)
Dakhni (1033-1043)
ਰਾਗੁ ਤੁਖਾਰੀ | Raag Tukhaari
Bara Maha (1107-1110)
Chhant (1110-1117)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕੇਦਾਰਾ | Raag Kedara
Gurbani (1118-1123)
Bhagat Bani (1123-1124)
ਰਾਗੁ ਭੈਰਉ | Raag Bhairo
Gurbani (1125-1152)
Partaal (1153)
Ashtpadiyan (1153-1167)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਸੰਤੁ | Raag Basant
Gurbani (1168-1187)
Ashtpadiyan (1187-1193)
Vaar Basant (1193-1196)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਾਰਗ | Raag Saarag
Gurbani (1197-1200)
Partaal (1200-1231)
Ashtpadiyan (1232-1236)
Chhant (1236-1237)
Vaar Saarang (1237-1253)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਲਾਰ | Raag Malaar
Gurbani (1254-1293)
Partaal (1265-1273)
Ashtpadiyan (1273-1278)
Chhant (1278)
Vaar Malaar (1278-91)
Bhagat Bani (1292-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਾਨੜਾ | Raag Kaanraa
Gurbani (1294-96)
Partaal (1296-1318)
Ashtpadiyan (1308-1312)
Chhant (1312)
Vaar Kaanraa
Bhagat Bani (1318)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਲਿਆਨ | Raag Kalyaan
Gurbani (1319-23)
Ashtpadiyan (1323-26)
ਰਾਗੁ ਪ੍ਰਭਾਤੀ | Raag Prabhaatee
Gurbani (1327-1341)
Ashtpadiyan (1342-51)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਜਾਵੰਤੀ | Raag Jaijaiwanti
Gurbani (1352-53)
Salok | Gatha | Phunahe | Chaubole | Swayiye
Sehskritee Mahala 1
Sehskritee Mahala 5
Gaathaa Mahala 5
Phunhay Mahala 5
Chaubolae Mahala 5
Shaloks Bhagat Kabir
Shaloks Sheikh Farid
Swaiyyae Mahala 5
Swaiyyae in Praise of Gurus
Shaloks in Addition To Vaars
Shalok Ninth Mehl
Mundavanee Mehl 5
ਰਾਗ ਮਾਲਾ, Raag Maalaa
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Laughter: The Best Medicine
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<blockquote data-quote="Astroboy" data-source="post: 78752" data-attributes="member: 4990"><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="color: #993366"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>You </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>t</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>hink English is </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>e</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>asy??? </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">1) The bandage was<strong><u><strong> wound</strong></u> </strong>around the<strong><u><strong> wound. </strong></u></strong></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong><u><strong></strong></u></strong></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">2) The farm was used to<strong><u><strong> produce produce </strong></u></strong>. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">3) The dump was so full that it had to<strong><u><strong> refuse</strong></u></strong> more<strong><u><strong> refuse</strong></u></strong>.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">4) We must <strong><u><strong>polish</strong></u></strong> the<strong><u><strong> Polish </strong></u></strong> furniture.</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">5) He could<strong><u><strong> lead</strong></u></strong> if he would get the <strong><u><strong>lead</strong></u></strong> out.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">6) The soldier decided to <strong><u><strong>desert</strong></u></strong> his dessert in the<strong><u><strong> desert.</strong></u></strong></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">7) Since there is no time like the <strong><u><strong>present</strong></u></strong>, he thought it was time to<strong><u><strong> present</strong></u></strong> the<strong><u><strong> present</strong></u> .</strong> </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">8) A<strong><u><strong> bass</strong></u></strong> was painted on the head of the<strong><u><strong> bass </strong></u></strong>drum.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">9) When shot at, the<strong><u><strong> dove dove</strong></u></strong> into the bushes.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">10) I did not<strong><u><strong> object</strong></u></strong> to the<strong><u><strong> object. </strong></u></strong></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">11) The insurance was<strong><u><strong> invalid</strong></u></strong> for the<strong><u><strong> invalid. </strong></u></strong></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">12) There was a<strong><u><strong> row</strong></u></strong> among the oarsmen about how to <strong><u><strong>row</strong></u></strong> .</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">13) They were too <strong><u><strong>close</strong></u></strong> to the door to<strong><u><strong> close</strong></u></strong> it. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">14) The buck<strong><u><strong> does</strong></u> </strong>funny things when the<strong><u><strong> does</strong></u></strong> are present.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">15) A seamstress and a<strong><u><strong> sewer</strong></u></strong> fell down into a<strong><u><strong> sewer</strong></u></strong> line.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his<strong><u><strong> sow</strong></u></strong> to<strong><strong> <u>sow.</u></strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">17) The<strong><u><strong> wind</strong></u></strong> was too strong to<strong><u><strong> wind</strong></u></strong> the sail. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">18) Upon seeing the<strong><u><strong> tear</strong></u></strong> in the painting I shed a<strong><u><strong> tear.</strong></u></strong></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">19) I had to <strong><u><strong>subject</strong></u></strong> the<strong><u><strong> subject</strong></u></strong> to a series of tests. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">20) How can I<strong><u><strong> intimate </strong></u></strong>this to my most<strong><u><strong> intimate</strong></u></strong> friend?</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. </span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong><strong></strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong><strong>You lovers of the English language might enjoy this . </strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong>There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">'UP.' </span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong>It's easy to understand</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">, </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> ? At a meeting, why does a topic come</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> ? Why do we speak </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> and why are the officers</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> for election and why is it </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> to the secretary to write</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> a report </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">? </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">We call</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> our friends. And we use it to brighten</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> a room, polish</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> the silver; we warm </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> the leftovers and clean </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> the kitchen. We lock</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> the house and some guys fix</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><u><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">trouble, line</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> for tickets, work</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> an appetite, and think </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> is special</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">.. </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">And this</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> is confusing: A drain must be opened</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> because it is stopped </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">. </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">We open</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> a store in the morning but we close it </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> at night. </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong>We seem to be pretty mixed</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> about </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP </span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">!</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">,</span></span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">look the word</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><u><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">almost 1/4th of the page and can add</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> to about thirty definitions. I f you are </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> to it, you might try building</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> a list of the many ways </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> is used. It will take</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> a lot of your time, but if you don't give </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">,</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> you may wind</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> When the sun comes out we say it is clearing</span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span></span></span></span></u><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">..</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong>When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong>When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong><strong></strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong><strong>One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it</strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">, </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">for now my time is </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">, so.........it is time to shut </span></span></span></span></span><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">UP</span></span></span></span></span></u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">! </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong><strong></strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong><strong>Oh . . . one more thing:</strong></strong> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: black"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><strong>What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><u><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> U-P</span></span></span></span></span></u></p><p></p><p> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Astroboy, post: 78752, member: 4990"] [B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][COLOR=#993366][COLOR=#993366][FONT=Arial][B]You [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Arial][B]t[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][B]hink English is [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Arial][B]e[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][B]asy??? [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] 1) The bandage was[B][U][B] wound[/B][/U] [/B]around the[B][U][B] wound. [/B][/U][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] 2) The farm was used to[B][U][B] produce produce [/B][/U][/B]. 3) The dump was so full that it had to[B][U][B] refuse[/B][/U][/B] more[B][U][B] refuse[/B][/U][/B]. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] 4) We must [B][U][B]polish[/B][/U][/B] the[B][U][B] Polish [/B][/U][/B] furniture.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] 5) He could[B][U][B] lead[/B][/U][/B] if he would get the [B][U][B]lead[/B][/U][/B] out. 6) The soldier decided to [B][U][B]desert[/B][/U][/B] his dessert in the[B][U][B] desert.[/B][/U][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] 7) Since there is no time like the [B][U][B]present[/B][/U][/B], he thought it was time to[B][U][B] present[/B][/U][/B] the[B][U][B] present[/B][/U] .[/B] 8) A[B][U][B] bass[/B][/U][/B] was painted on the head of the[B][U][B] bass [/B][/U][/B]drum. 9) When shot at, the[B][U][B] dove dove[/B][/U][/B] into the bushes. 10) I did not[B][U][B] object[/B][/U][/B] to the[B][U][B] object. [/B][/U][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] 11) The insurance was[B][U][B] invalid[/B][/U][/B] for the[B][U][B] invalid. [/B][/U][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] 12) There was a[B][U][B] row[/B][/U][/B] among the oarsmen about how to [B][U][B]row[/B][/U][/B] . 13) They were too [B][U][B]close[/B][/U][/B] to the door to[B][U][B] close[/B][/U][/B] it. 14) The buck[B][U][B] does[/B][/U] [/B]funny things when the[B][U][B] does[/B][/U][/B] are present. 15) A seamstress and a[B][U][B] sewer[/B][/U][/B] fell down into a[B][U][B] sewer[/B][/U][/B] line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his[B][U][B] sow[/B][/U][/B] to[B][B] [U]sow.[/U][/B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] 17) The[B][U][B] wind[/B][/U][/B] was too strong to[B][U][B] wind[/B][/U][/B] the sail. 18) Upon seeing the[B][U][B] tear[/B][/U][/B] in the painting I shed a[B][U][B] tear.[/B][/U][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] 19) I had to [B][U][B]subject[/B][/U][/B] the[B][U][B] subject[/B][/U][/B] to a series of tests. 20) How can I[B][U][B] intimate [/B][/U][/B]this to my most[B][U][B] intimate[/B][/U][/B] friend? [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [B][B] You lovers of the English language might enjoy this . [/B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]'UP.' [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] It's easy to understand[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana], [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] ? At a meeting, why does a topic come[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] ? Why do we speak [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] and why are the officers[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] for election and why is it [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] to the secretary to write[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] a report [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]? [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] We call[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] our friends. And we use it to brighten[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] a room, polish[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] the silver; we warm [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] the leftovers and clean [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] the kitchen. We lock[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] the house and some guys fix[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][U][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]trouble, line[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] for tickets, work[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] an appetite, and think [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] is special[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana].. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] And this[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] is confusing: A drain must be opened[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] because it is stopped [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]We open[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] a store in the morning but we close it [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] at night. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] We seem to be pretty mixed[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] about [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]![/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana],[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]look the word[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][U][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]almost 1/4th of the page and can add[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] to about thirty definitions. I f you are [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] to it, you might try building[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] a list of the many ways [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] is used. It will take[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] a lot of your time, but if you don't give [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana],[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] you may wind[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] When the sun comes out we say it is clearing[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana].. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]. [B][B] One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it[/B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana], [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]for now my time is [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana], so.........it is time to shut [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana]UP[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]! [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [B][B] Oh . . . one more thing:[/B][/B] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][U][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Verdana] U-P[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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