As many of you know, my non-Sikh husband died a couple months ago. While that was a heavy blow to me, it also freed me to keep reht maryada more strictly, which is meaningful to me.
Among other things, I have been keeping Amrit Vela. He was totally opposed to my getting up before dawn to pray - or for any other reason - as it inevitably woke him up. I really couldn't blame him. One problem has disappeared, but another has arisen.
I am not big on rules, but it seems to me that bathing before prayers is very basic.
As my physical condition has deteriorated, I am now needing help with things I used to be able to do on my own. Several times, I have nearly fallen in the shower; yesterday, I managed to catch myself on the side of the shower, but wrenched my shoulder quite badly. Because I am on blood thinners, any fall could be very serious. Even if I appear to be uninjured, I could bleed to death internally.
A caregiver comes in daily to help me. She is here for 4 hours, from 9 AM - 1 PM. Part of her job is to help me with such things and she is very willing to help me bathe. I would not ask her to come in hours before dawn, though; that is completely unreasonable.
It seems I have three choices:
- Do my Nitnem with a wash-up instead of a full bathing
- Do my Nitnem after she has helped me bathe
- Risk a fall and continue as I have
I would really prefer to continue keeping the proper time, if possible. Plus doing it while she is here is difficult because the activity going on in the house is distracting.
What would the SPN Sangat suggest?